Chapter 53
Hope sat up in bed, still unsettled following her dad's earlier visit; she knew she'd done the right thing convincing him to go to the intervention but she couldn't help feeling she'd sent him off to the gallows. She could only imagine what he must be going through, sitting there, surrounded by those he loved, listening as each of them shared their concerns and outlined their expectations. She was well aware that getting him to show up was just the first step on his journey; he would need to agree to some form of treatment or live with the consequences of his decision if he chose not to. Either way, their lives were about to change dramatically and she could only hope that he would take the help which was being offered and allow them to support him in the weeks and months to come.
The expression 'tough love' had never held more meaning. Her parents had used it with her and her brother on a few occasions over the years as they tried to instill good, moral values in both of their children. But now, as it related to her dad, it seemed cruel; giving him ultimatums when he needed them to stand by him unconditionally. She shook her head and tried to reframe things; the only way to make someone realize they'd lost their way was to force them to look in the mirror and come to terms with what they were doing. And that included being prepared to go all the way if they refused to help themselves. She reached over and picked up her phone, checking for messages; Cameron had promised he'd text her when Neal arrived and she knew she wouldn't be able to rest until she heard back from him.
Hope stared out the window of her hospital room, thinking of life as she'd known it 'BA' - before the accident. She and Liam had enjoyed an almost picture perfect childhood with wonderful parents and a loving extended family. As a family, the Caffreys had suffered their fair share of heartaches including her mom's battle with cancer and her dad's brain injury and more recent gunshot wound but they'd always pulled together and she couldn't even imagine them moving forward without her dad in the picture.
She felt the now familiar sting of tears in her eyes as she thought ahead to her future which, up until the day after her birthday, had been perfectly mapped out and full of promise. Her parents had scrimped and saved for a long time so she could fulfill her dream of attending Carnegie Mellon and now, she didn't know if she would ever recover enough to finish her degree. And Cam… he'd slipped an engagement ring on the finger of a perfectly healthy young woman and despite his reassurances that nothing had changed for him, she knew all too well that, in reality, everything had changed. Would she ever regain her ability to speak and be able to communicate properly? And what about kids? How could she be a good mom someday if she couldn't even communicate with her children?
She sniffled and grabbed for a tissue to wipe her eyes. Since coming to, she'd managed to avoid showing her emotions when her loved ones were around; it would just be too hard on everybody if she gave in to those dreary thoughts. From day one, Cameron had been so encouraging and positive, she just couldn't bear to bring him down. And so, she'd preferred to wait until she was alone to have her little pity parties, which luckily were few and far between.
The phone vibrated in her lap and she reached for it, a smile appearing on her face. 'Not sure how you did it, but he's here.'
WCWCWC
Caitlin peeked out from underneath her blond bangs across the room at Neal, obviously uncomfortable with the whole situation. For all her wackiness and outgoing personality, she still had a shy streak, especially when it came to her foster dad. Although he'd forgiven her for those spiteful false accusations she'd made, Caitlin was still tentative around Neal, calling him 'Mr. C' in order to maintain some semblance of respect and distance between them. She had pulled more than her fair share of crazy schemes since she'd come to live with the Caffreys, but she was well aware that she was on thin ice and that if she didn't tow the line, she would be hauled off to a group home - her worst fear. Neal had been nothing but wonderful from the moment she'd met him, first, taking her under his wing at the art school then, opening up his home, and his heart, to her when she least deserved it - but most needed it. She was eternally grateful for Neal and Sara's presence in her life and even though she'd lived in their home for less than a year, she couldn't imagine living anywhere else.
Her eyes wandered down to her hands, wringing them obsessively. 'I hate to see Sara and Liam suffering' she managed to say before finally looking up and facing Neal. 'Mr. C, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. You gave me a chance when nobody else would, especially after I'd been so mean and hurtful to you.'
Neal gave her a sad smile. She drove him crazy on her best days, mostly because watching Caitlin operate was like watching a mirror image of himself back when he was her age - same impulse control issues, same raw talent, same poor decisions.
Caitlin's eyes wandered to Linda whose hand she reached out for, clutching fiercely. 'I know it's selfish but… I'm worried that if you don't stop drinking, they'll take me away from you and I'll never get another chance…' she began as Neal gasped.
That possibility had never even crossed his mind; of course, it was perfectly natural that a self-involved sixteen-year-old would be focussed on how events might affect her personally.
'Oh, Caitlin' he said, his voice quiet. 'I didn't realize you were worried about that.'
'When Social Services agreed to let me live with you, Ms Cross said that if I did anything bad, she'd personally haul my ass down to Five Oaks and I… I really, really don't want to live in a group home far away from here. I love living at your house and going to White Plains High with Liam and all my friends.'
Neal nodded in understanding; this was yet another consequence of his actions which he hadn't even considered.
'Anyway… I really want you to get better, Mr. C, and I hope you'll get some help so you can come home and be with us and everything can get back to normal' she concluded as Linda squeezed her hand in approval.
As difficult as it was for Neal to hear these things, it was an essential first step if he was going to come to terms with the fact that he was dangerously close to losing everything he'd worked so hard for.
Cameron looked around the room, circumspect. He and Sara were the only ones who hadn't yet spoken and despite the fact he wasn't looking forward to confronting his boss and future father-in-law, he had to man up and do it anyway.
'Mr. Caffrey, I've had nothing but admiration for you from the day I met you. You brought me in to work at the gallery and you and Mr. Burke have shown me the ropes and I'm so grateful for that. And then, when you opened the school, you trusted me enough to put me in charge of managing the day to day operations at the gallery and that's something I'll never forget. But most of all, you trusted me with your daughter' he said as Neal listened, tears filling his eyes.
'And even though it's breaking my heart to see you going through this, now that Hope's going to be my wife, I see everything through her eyes. Her pain is my pain and… she's really hurting, seeing you struggling like this. I'd do anything for her, you know that and I know how much she means to you. Please get some help… I can't stand to see Hope heartbroken and the only thing that'll help her get better is for you to get back on your feet.'
Tears ran down Neal's cheeks and he brought his hands to cover his face as he totally fell apart. He'd been so engrossed in living day to day and from drink to drink that he'd missed all those not so subtle cues from his family who were all suffering because of him.
Sara couldn't take much more and her hand came to rest on Neal's back as he struggled to pull himself together. He was decimated, totally destroyed and her heart broke at the sight of her strong, capable husband being reduced to such a broken and defeated figure of a man.
Peter cleared his throat and El could be heard crying in the quiet room as everyone waited uneasily for Neal to pull himself together. It seemed like cruel and unusual punishment to put him through such a painful exercise and yet, none of their individual pleas had resulted in getting him to come to terms with what was happening, forcing them into this agonizingly painful intervention.
Sara knew she held the key; if he was still wavering about getting help, she was their best shot at finally pushing him over the edge and yet, she couldn't bring herself to tell the man she loved how much he'd hurt her - not now, when he was already at his lowest.
'Sara?' Marion said, inviting her to say her piece.
Sara could feel Neal's body next to hers, steadily deflating like some blow-up doll with a slow leak and yet, he managed to sit up resolutely and he cleared his throat, intent on going all the way. In that moment, she caught a glimpse of his fierce, resilient nature and she drew courage from his strength but she couldn't bring herself to add to the heavy load he'd been compelled to bear; she needed to leave him with a shred of dignity. Recounting what had happened two nights before in front of everyone wouldn't do anyone any good; Neal knew what he'd done, the pain he'd caused her and he'd already begun to pay the price by being thrown out of their matrimonial bed and their family home. No one needed to know the details of what had happened between them and it would serve no useful purpose to expose their most intimate quarrel to their family and friends.
'Neal' she whispered breathlessly, her hand still on his back. 'I love you, you have no idea how much… but I have to think about the kids and I have too much self respect to continue living with you if you don't agree to get some help. You can't do this by yourself, honey… you've just dug your hole too deep and you need help to climb out just like Hope needed help to get better. This is no different…'
Neal turned to face her, the tension between them palpable as they both attempted to grapple with their shared heartache, he, because of the pain he'd caused the woman he loved and she, for her part in the anguish she could see in his eyes.
Neal finally fell apart and he began to shake uncontrollably. Without hesitation, Sara pulled him in to her as he collapsed, inconsolable.
'I'm so sorry' he sobbed as everyone watched in stunned silence.
Marion looked around the room, noticing there was not a dry eye in the place and she waited for a moment before speaking.
'Neal, will you accept the help we're offering you today?' she asked as Neal nodded, his face buried in Sara's neck.
'Yes' he blubbered as everyone broke into applause. Sara let out a gasp of relief, hugging him tightly and his eyes came up to meet hers.
He sat up, noticing everyone in the room laughing through their tears.
After a second, he spoke again, this time his voice stronger. 'What is it I'm agreeing to, exactly?' he asked as everyone laughed nervously. 'Do I have to go away somewhere?'
He was ready to do whatever it took to get better but he really didn't want to have to leave at a time when Hope needed him; she was on the verge of coming home and he wanted to be there to support her through her recovery - although, he'd finally come to terms with the fact that he had to take care of himself before he could help his daughter.
'Not necessarily' Marion said, smiling reassuringly. 'You and I can discuss the details together but overall, you'll need therapy - with me, if you're okay with that or with some other therapist if you prefer. You need to get at the root cause of why this happened so you can let go of whatever has allowed alcohol to get such a firm grip on you.'
Neal nodded as he held Sara's hand tightly.
'But you've also developed a physical and psychological dependence on alcohol and the best person to help you with that is an addictions counsellor. I have someone in mind who would be available to meet with you.'
'Okay' Neal said, his voice stronger, now that his decision had been made. 'When do we start?'
'Right now' she said. 'I've freed up some time to meet with you so we can get started.'
Neal nodded and looked at Sara, seeking her approval.
'Thank you, honey' she said as she hugged him. 'Thank you.'
Before he knew what had happened, everyone was on their feet, hugging him and congratulating him on his decision, pledging their love and support while he navigated the next few days and weeks.
Within a few minutes, the room had emptied with only Sara, Neal and Marion remaining. Now came the hard part; letting go of the grip alcohol had on him and finding his way back to those he loved.
'Why don't we head over to my office?' Marion suggested as she pointed up the hall.
Neal nodded and Marion stepped out in order to give Neal and Sara a few moments alone before he started on his journey to recovery.
'Are you alright?' Sara asked as she touched his cheek. He was shaking like a leaf and totally wrung out from all the emotions of the last hour.
He stared back at her loving face, emotions still raw. 'No' he answered honestly. 'But I will be. I promise, honey… I will be.'
Tears returned to Sara's eyes and she hugged him tightly, preparing to let him go on his way - this was something that he needed to do on his own and she needed to stand by and let it happen.
'Sara?' he said, his arms still wound around her. 'Can I please come home?'
The question tore into her like a knife as she stared into his eyes and prepared to respond.
TBC
