*Scrooge's POV*

"W-WHAT?! What… just came out of your mouth?"

Bill's voice shook with a deadly rage. I could almost see him begin to brighten, and quite honestly… how was he still green?

That's what I got for trying to help Bill find a girl for the first time. Retaliation.

Sighing solemnly, I repeated "Your shades are a bit of a repellant, Bill. A girl will see you and think you're only out to impregnate her and break her heart."

"Dude, do you realize how long it took me to make these?!" Bill screeched. "I had to make myself look like an absolute flipping idiot to put together the obsidian shards… and to make the lenses translucent! And here you are, just shooting them down! Oh, alright… You know, if I did away with them, I'd look like any old Creeper. Then, I'd come after Rachael just so that she could stab me to an irreversible death. Are you saying you'd like that?"

Holy mother of NOTCH, this guy was nuts.

"NO!" I argued back. "…And here I was, thinking I could help you. You know what? If you feel this way, you only did this to yourself."

His eye twitched. So badly, he seemed to want to hold back a blast, and somehow, he was managing.

Our friendship, however, was beginning to be mined away.

That is… until the next thing happened.

A loony, drunk-sounding female voice crooned "Hey there."

We both looked down at our feet, seeing that a wobbly Spider stood between us. She was looking up at Bill as if he were just… a guardian angel.

Then, against both of our beliefs, she suddenly hopped up on her hind legs, using the other legs to attempt to tackle Bill… instead looking like an extremely graceful dog jumping on her owner.

Bill looked as if there were chunks to be blown. From one glimpse I caught… I-I think the Spider was trying to kiss him!

"All your heart are belong to me," she moaned.

And not another word.

Bill and I only had to eye each other once to figure out that our entire falling-out was… It…

He used his head to knock the Spider away from him.

I then took the liberty of picking her up by the hairs on her back, then teleporting to a lake in the middle of a huge forest, then dropping her into said lake, then teleporting back to Bill's side.

"…Dude, I'm sorry," Bill shook, a smile and a frown battling for dominance on his face.

"I'm sorry as well," I replied, feeling the absolute same war.

A bro hug would have closed this moment perfectly.