"What the fuck just happened?" Renji finally managed to splutter out as everyone turned back to the picnic after watching the cynic who had long disappeared from the area. He blinked a few times, still processing the dreary, but wet with anger, tirade that Natsu had gone on, and then looked over at the captains who were staring at one another. "I know it's out of place… But did you just come here to fuck up an evening?"

"Renji," Rukia whispered out harshly as she snagged at the sleeve of his shihakusho.

At least the captains didn't look so put off by the breech of conduct and politeness and appeared more bemused by the entire situation. Then again, if the lieutenants were barely able to piece together the entire timeline of events than, at least, the new captains were warranted some time to be confused. Not so much the other captains; though it appeared that Ukitake was more upset with Kyoraku than normal as he had a finger pointed very adamantly at the man. Hushed words passed between them only heard by Yuko, was was increasingly growing stiff from her posture close to the brunette.

Ikkaku cleared out his throat and let out a long, vocalized sounding groan, before he continued to talk as if he was surrounded by only long time drinking buddies. "Haven't seen her like that in ages…. Good job Kyoraku-taicho."

"When was the last time?" Yumichika made a show of thinking cutting through the brunette's attempt at whining to defend himself. "Oh… Around the academy, wasn't it?"

"Come on Rukia. Stop." Renji gently yanked at his sleeve as the petite girl's grip which was less than half-hearted. "It's clear… Kyoraku-taicho you must have known this would happen when you brought it up. Lead the fuckin' elephant into the room, didn't you?"

"Renji-kun please calm down."

Renji slitted his eyes and looked over at the blonde who was holding his hands out in a placating manner. "She's your 'senpai', Izuru…. You can't tell me that you don't think this was a set up."

"It wasn't a set up." Yuko cut clean across and took on the ferocity of Renji's glare, before her eyes slipped over to Kyoraku. The man sheltered his head behind the brim of his hat, but the distinct impression of a red dot was already forming on the tip of his ear from where Yuko had pulled at them so she could drag his head down to her height and say something to him in the immediate aftermath of his destruction, before letting Ukitake join the fray. "It was a mistake… On all our parts."

"Jeez," Ikkaku mumbled out again and scratched at the top of his head, as he eyed up the woman with his caustic bite. "Your takin' this awfully calm for the instigator."

"We weren't trying to instigate Madarame-san." Ukitake put out as he took up the mediator role. "We thoug—"

"You thought your could bring her long, lost father to a fucking celebration that she doesn't even want to have in the fucking first place… and things wouldn't go south?" Renji grumbled out and flung his hand out to the tall blonde man who was making a slow inspection of the package that was brutally flung at him. "Give that to me."

"Wa—"

Renji growled slightly as he turned more fully so that he could face the 'father' just to see the blonde man was half-guarding the package with his bony fingers. Renji kept his arm ramrod straight and open. "It's my responsibility from Ayako-san and I'm going to make sure that it gets to the right hands."

"Renji-kun-"

"No!" Finally his last bit of restraint snapped out and he got to his feet to tear the package straight from the man's hands. "I can't do anything because I'm a fukutaicho but as her friend I'm sticking up for her… Like you should be doing, Izuru."

"I understand Renji-kun but this isn't the way to do that." Izuru came to his feet as if it would help to tame the redheaded beast. "Please, just calm down."

"You didn't see it. None of you fuckin' saw her when she was fuckin' sweating and barely functioning… I'm not just going to sit back and let her feel fucking alone!"

Yumichika let out a long sigh and slowly got up to his feet. He took a few calm steps forward with Ikkaku also rising up just over the fifth-seat's shoulder should he be needed to jump in if necessary. The more slender man settled between the glaring battle that was going on between two very different fukutaichos. "Renji really. I get what you're doing but it's also obvious that something went really wrong here. So calm down or Ikkaku and I will force you to."

There seemed to be an instantaneous shudder; not from the wind but the instant chill that was the abrupt departure of good will as the holes were opened up. The captains watched warily for a moment, since they really had no speaking power in the situation. Kensei looked about the only one who would be willing to physically join the fray if fighting did actually break out. Moreover, the silence was blanketed with extreme wariness. It was wariness in not knowing exactly how to fix the problem. Calling commands as captains would only make the entire situation worse, since the conversation had taken on a much more personal tone. They had no room to speak familiarly of the situation since it was clear that they didn't know much about the subject; whether that was the because they were missing details about Natsu's work or hadn't known much about Natsu's state of mind.

Renji looked at the shorter, carefully dressed man before stepping back slightly. His arm was deftly caught by Rukia who was giving him a sympathetic smile. He grunted slightly, letting her lead him back so that he could be seated. Izuru waved slightly where he stood before he quickly managed back into his spot, and underneath the protective shadow of Shuuhei. The tension only broke as Yumichika made his way back to his seat, and the circle of contemplation was reformed.

"To be honest, I'm also very angry," Yumichika stated. The silence didn't pop like it normally would as someone began to speak, but seemed to contort into ugly shapes as it slowly boiled away at the intrusion of words. People shuddered underneath the essence of cold, hard words since they became used to the comfort of the awkward silence. "Ah~ It's going to be so hard to get Natsu to come out drinking with us again, Ikkaku."

Ikkaku huffed slightly and narrowed his eyes down to the ground. "I thought you were going to make some stupid comment about the 'ugly' look on her face."

"That too~ It was disgusting."

"Damn straight," Renji and Testuzaemon grumbled out.

"Wait, wait," Rangiku fluttered out as she pointed her finger over at the seventh division fukutaicho. "I understand Renji, since he spent four months living with her in the human world, but you too?"

"Huh? Of course. Met her in the academy… Just like those two," Iba responded deftly as he pointed over to the eleventh division members with his thumb.

"How many people does she know?" Shuuhei managed out and bit reluctant to intercede on territory he knew nothing about. "I mean I think only Momo and I are the odd ones out."

"Not true." Yumichika shook off the unneeded comment with a flap of his hand. "In fact, I wouldn't say she's really close to anyone. She's been distant for the past forty years given the situation."

"Okay you know what." Kensei jumped into the fray as his quick temper finally got the best of him. "I'll look the dumbass and ask what exactly has she been doing? What the hell is everyone talking about?"

"She transferred in from the kido corps as a spy for Urahara Kisuke on Aizen and his group," Ikkaku put forth with a slow dawdle as he turned to the muscular silver-haired captain.

Yumichika took over right after him. "That was for forty years... And then everything came to light just before the war as you know. She was sent down to Karakura Town with some of us and worked with Urahara. Built the Tenkai Ketchu didn't she?"

"Yeah, that and training up some of her abilities…. Got us to Hueco Mundo afterwards, before going to the front lines," Renji grumbled out as he rolled his eyes at the events. "Then did all this work with the central 46 to clear you guys of the orders on your heads."

The three re-instated captains looked upon one another as if a telecommunicated conversation was trying to transpire. However, Kensei's eyes weren't really looking at the other two by his side, but glaring at the ground right by Shinji's feet with his shoulders hunched and a grimace the size of a canyon on his face. Rose let out a small hum as he shut his eyes, though the normal dreamy look on his face seemed to be covered up by that serious glaze that only overtook him during a fight. The man of hour, Shinji, seemed to deftly curdled himself up tightly as he roughly rubbed at the fringe, something pained coming through the deep furrows on his forehead.

"Well…" Ukitake whispered out and then clapped his hands to shatter what was left of the morose air that proliferated from the three captains before him. "That's it all briefly put. If you want I can catch you guys up a bit later on."

Kensei trailed his eyes over to the still mute blonde. "What the hell is wrong with your daughter, Shinji?"

"W… There's nothin' wrong wit' 'er," Shinji snapped out as he glared down the grumbling man, whose gaze was only heated by an embarrassed glint. Or it could have been a remorseful glint. "Ya jus' don't like tha idea o' bein' 'elped by 'er when ya thought she didn't know anythin'…. Nice ta know she's still got some friends though."

"You're kidding…. She's a pain in the ass," Iba ground out as he knocked back another shot of sake.

"She picked the fourth division," Ikkaku murmured.

Yumichika let out a small huff as he fixed up his hair. "Never listens to any of my comments about beauty."

"She's childish," Renji and Rukia mentioned out together, grimacing automatically as they remembered all the jeering that came from the sidelines and the mock fights she had caused.

"She never does any of her work," Isane whined out softly.

Rangiku tipped forward slightly as she let out a large, "she never wants to go shopping with me."

"I've never managed to get a straight forward answer from her," Izuru finished off with a sad sigh.

The captains moved their eyes one by one over to Shinji after hearing all of the half-hearted complaints that the rest of the members had. The blonde looked around rapidly at the entire group that was watching him. His face fell down into his frown as he scratched at his head. "Ain't ma fault."

Yuko snidely let out from the side, feeling the small snag of Kyoraku's hand around her waist, "no…. She just acts almost exactly like you."

"You really know how to raise them, don't you?" Kensei added on seconds later.

Kyoraku let out a small hum and then chuckled slightly. "It's better than Byakuya as a child though… Doesn't really get angry."

The captains looked at one another before letting out chuckles. Certainly they hadn't all known Natsu since she was a small child; only Unohana, Yuko, and Hiyori had really been the ones to meet her and interact with her when she was a child. Shinji had been protective of her childhood; keeping her at the Kotomi House and visiting her frequently over the years. He wanted her to just be a child, particularly because she was so ill and because it was apparent she would eventually be forced to choose going to the academy. When she was in need of more desparate medical treatment her brought her into the divisions; where every now and again Ukitake and Kyoraku had interacted with her during her stays. Eventually, those trips to the fourth division had also tapered off, particularly when he took in Aizen as a fukutaicho. In some ways, one could say that she was sequestered away; driven off by one of the only living relatives that could care for her. However, Shinji shuddered to even think about all the possibilities that could have occurred had Aizen known about his daughter and he was happy that she hadn't been save from any of the experiments. His own silver lining to the situation.

Over time, the Vizards, safe from the prying ears of a traitorous fukutaicho, got to hear a few stories about her but they were sporadic at best. Shinji seemed to reserve her in the back of his mind, only pulling her out when he was truly safe from the prying eyes that were around him. Perhaps, a paranoid habit that only developed because of his mistrust in the latter years. Should he have been upset that Kisuke dragged her through all of this work? Used her? Did that man manipulate her into helping her because of what he knew about her from when she was a child? But there had been so many benefits. Either way, her attitude now was still a rapid improvement to the angry tot of a boy that had been Kuchiki Byakuya.

"Izuru-kun?" Momo whispered out daringly. It was a bit louder than necessary as she tilted over to the blonde man. "I think you might have to give me some tips."

"I would love to, Hinamori-kun… But I just don't think that's possible," Izuru commented back with his eye shooting over to the still chuckling group of captains that had heard the faux-innocent question.

"Not you too, Momo-chan," Shinji whined out and looked over at the wide blinking eyes of his new lieutenant who looked a bit embarrassed to have used him as a joke so soon. His lips turned slightly up at the corners before he let out a very loud sigh and scratched at his head again. His face just wouldn't come up from the frown that it had found itself in. "It was a mistake ta come 'ere wit'out talkin' ta 'er firs'… Sorry ta interrupt tha evenin' like tha'."

Renji narrowed his eyes and they slithered daringly over at the brown haired captain. "I think… Someone else should also apologize, captain."

The brown haired man blinked a few times as if unaware of which captain Renji was actually referring to and then let out a few whines as Yuko began to pull on his cheek. "Ow, Yuko-chan~… I'll make sure… – Stop, stop - I'll make sure I apologize to her."

"Momo-chan," Shinji called out and got the brunette spiking up. He waved slightly until she was much calmer, which he had a tired feeling he'd be doing for a long time until she was more relaxed. "I'm gonna ask ya not ta get involved in this. Nice ya stickin' up fo' me but it jus' ain't ya place, 'kay?"

"Yes sir."

Shinji gave a slow nod and then looked over at the group of lieutenants and other seats before giving a slight smirk. "I'll make sure ta do ma par' too. So yer jus' gonna 'ave ta keep bein' 'er friends, yeah?"

"Unfortunately," Ikkaku put forth, getting him a hit on the backside of his head from Iba.


Rangiku turned slightly over as she heard Izuru calling out to her. The party had been just been saved from crash landing after Natsu had jammed the engines named 'fun' and 'light hearted' with her very warranted anger. In the end, the captains easily confessed to their ineptitude for seeing the situation as it was, and in a way that probably saved their own reputations, she supposed. From what it appeared, Natsu had far bigger sway over people's decisions than the wayward medic thought or had ever intended. It was something the woman probably detested so much she'd rather commit sepaku than abuse. 'Too much work', Rangiku could basically hear the woman saying that. They were all, subconsciously, extremely thankful to the complexity that seemed to surround the girl, Rangiku thought, since it just made her that much more trustworthy. Even as the woman tried to set herself out as some sort of horrible person.

None of them wanted to linger around the fields, though, feeling the dying embers and the pain that had been falling around them. It was just too much of a disgrace to continue something that the woman of honor had ran away from like someone was handing her paperwork to do. In a way, the medic had left a more open wound for them to deal with or, perhaps, it was just a more conscious dealing of the remaining pain that was festering in their wounds from the betrayals. But no party could resurrect itself with that feeling that draped heavily along their shoulder.

Izuru came up to her shortly. "Do you mind if I walk with you?"

"Not at all," Rangiku chirped as she easily gestured that they start walking again. "Company's always welcome."

They wandered off further from the disaster site. They let their feet take them away on their own isolated path. Whereas some traveled the path alone from the anger and pain that had been induced, like Shuuhei and Momo, others had gone off together again. Rangiku hadn't paid much attention to who had gone with who, just that some groups were going together and other's not so much. It would take time before people could walk together again, or for others to follow after new people. These two fukutaichos, however, were intertwined only by their individual memories of the same betrayal by the same man and the same woman that had shown them the truth. The links in the chain were slowly closing as they came to understand the history of events, but the other would remain a complete mystery. How would they ever be able to understand why someone would do what they've done?

"I once thought that Natsu wasn't similar at all to me," Izuru whispered out finally as he clenched down onto his one dangling arm. "She's always been so… She's always appeared like she never cared much for the Gotei 13 or for the captains."

Rangiku let out a small hum as she looked at the blonde by her side. It was true that Natsu was like that. She had been more approachable during the academy when Rangiku had actually seen the woman looking well rested. She had never had the same sense of duty but there was a certain peace with it. When had people ever had the same sense or goals? Everyone in the academy was free to do and think as they pleased, so long as they followed the rules. Then again, Natsu's sense was probably more distorted than most. After all, the goal for her had always been the Kido Corps and that had to mean something. It appeared that whatever balm Natsu had given to her wounds back then, since Rangiku had to assume she knew something about her father then too, disappeared when she came back from the Kido Corps and had joined the ranks of the Gotei 13.

It wasn't a different person that had re-entered the scene after the Kido Corps. Just a new person with only faint whispers of the same relaxed woman. There had been an immediate distancing though it was so subtle. Just as everything she had done. Faint warnings, casual calls, and vague wordings to point to her true meanings with her ever present relaxed manner to casually watch over everything that was going on. It was really hard to pick up on, and it wasn't a surprise that Izuru had missed it altogether since he hadn't known Natsu in the academy days. The rest had seen it though; choosing to never make a comment about it since stuff like that just happens. Who knows what had happened when she was part of the Kido Corps.

"But it's because she chose her captain a long time ago, isn't it, Rangiku-san? - There was only one person she would have called captain."

Rangiku sighed out slightly from her nose, her eyes closing just a tad as she considered the words. "I think… That's probably why she understood us so well these past couple months."

"Yeah - I wish... I really wish I knew her better so that I could help her now."

Rangiku couldn't help but smile at the pure sincerity in Izuru's word and the long coating of misery there and along his face. Natsu had them at arm's length for forty years. Yumichika and Ikkaku were probably the only two that didn't have to think twice about it, though if she thought about it even that relationship had been strained over the years. They themselves had even mentioned that Natsu hadn't been the same as what they remembered. It was impossible, however, for her not to have imbedded something of herself in the people around her. It was the only reason why they had all chosen to forgive her and accept her nonetheless.

"I'd say she'd rather us all buck up," Rangiku put forth and smiled at the slowly blinking blue eye who grew a bit more worried. "Besides, we can't help her. Just like she couldn't really help us."


Natsu was clearing out one of the rooms so that it could be completely wiped down. The fourth division did this after every single patient so as to not have a bacterial build up, but often times, it wasn't Natsu who was required to do these operations. This is what came with being negligent to your work load did. With her moving back and forth between the hallway and the room, when she had spotted him. She blinked slightly at the brown haired captain that had come wandering through the hallways. Her eyes had narrowed for just a moment before she continued on with her work. She suppressed quickly anything that could have her thinking back about the previous evening.

Her heart was still a tightly sewed up pocket barely beating within the caverns of the cloth that she had wrapped it up in tight. She scrubbed down a bit harder onto the bed frame, ducking her hand down rapidly into the water and then pulling the brush back up. She paid little mind to the soapy water that slopped over the brim of the bucket and onto her feet as she slapped the brush back over to the bed and scrubbed. In fact she was barely conscious of the new wetness around her. Her body didn't feel like her own. As if she was moving by the hands of a laughing puppeteer, she couldn't get her body to do what she wanted. Everything felt jerky in her own body as she wrangled to get it to move every single time, instead of following the lines that connected her to the mocking man conducting her. It had been months since she felt rested and had not had acid running through her veins. She was jerky. She needed sleep. She just needed her reiryoku to stop playing its game of stabbing hide and seek as it reached high points and ultimate low points.

"Whatta ya wan' cap?" she finally questioned since he hadn't moved from the doorway in the past few minutes and had made no movement to say anything. A quick glance over her shoulder saw him gently leaning against the post with his arms gently crossed. "Ain't no fun watchin' me do work."

"Natsu-chan is working so hard," Kyoraku sung out. "It's very cute."

She let out a long sigh and dumped the scrub down onto the frame of the bed as she turned around. Harshly she sprung her hands free from the gloves that she had been wearing, leaving faint red marks from the rapidity of the movement. "Whatta ya wan'?"

Brown eyes blinked at her and for the first time they were clear of the hat and shadows that obstructed his gaze. They seemed keen as they took in her position and finally the smile dropped from his face. Before her was a straight-laced man whose eyes gently tucked at the sides and let out a deep sigh from lips contorted to face downwards. He did nothing to fix his posture, though in some way it had mellowed out to something a bit darker.

"I just came to apologize…. I don't really like the fact that Natsu-chan got so hurt."

"Wha'eva." She flapped her hand slightly. "So ya can go now."

"But you haven't forgiven me, Natsu-chan~"

Natsu wrangled the twitch in her mouth but she did nothing to stop herself from glaring at him. "Ya forgiven… Ya can go now."

"Somehow I just don't believe that," Kyoraku swung out drearily as he uncrossed his arms. "It seems you're very angry at me."

"Yer forgiven," Natsu spat out as slow as she could make each word.

"What is going on here?"

Natsu threw her gaze over to Unohana who was peering in half questioningly behind Kyoraku's side. The other man jumped just slightly and he immediately fluttered into a small explanation of the situation to subdue his own panic and so as to not upset the lady. Blue eyes switched between the two of them while the captain's head went up and down every once and a while to show her understanding of the situation.

She let out another hum and then smiled just slightly up at Kyoraku. "You should excuse us Shunsui-san. If you don't believe yourself forgiven then you can come back at another time."

"Very well~." He slid that smile back along his face with his immediate agreement and then waved as pleasantly as possible. "I'll see you later Natsu-chan."

Natsu grimaced just slightly and then flung her head over to the side. Her hands found place in her pockets. Off to the side, she made out the sounds of door clicking shut but she remained fashioned on the off white walls that were the room. The brightness from the sun streaming into the room bounced from the walls. She squinted down at the intense glare of light as she continued her adamant stare even with the sounds of the captain's foot steps coming closer. Her lips tugged just that much more downwards when she realized that the captain had no thought of turning around. The faint call from the older woman, and a quick glance told her, that anything less than compliance would not be tolerated. Natsu let out a long sigh as she turned her head straight to the woman who was commandeering the conversation from where the old man captain had stopped days ago. Weeks ago, actually.

"I thought it might eventually hit you. It's a bit earlier than I anticipated," the woman let out a slowly with just that sympathy in her tone. "I heard all about last night from Isane-san."

"Great."

The woman narrowed her eyes just slightly but quickly they opened up again. "I can understand that this is hard for you but pl-"

"Don't give me tha promotion." Natsu found herself spewing out suddenly as her head fell down to take in the floor. "You 'ave ta understand. I don't wan' tha promotion."

There was a small beat as if the woman would actually consider her words. Natsu, knew though, from the hardness of her own heart which felt no hope from the silence and the patter in her veins that was the only thing keeping her living, that it was impossible for her request to be fulfilled. She had already reasoned everything out for herself, and yet theory had given her nothing but a revolting stomach and twisted innards.

"I can't do that."

"Why?"

"Because you're too useful. You make the Gotei 13 more powerful."

Natsu shut her eyes to the proclamation that she knew was coming. There was no way to avoid it because from every angle she looked at the problem from, it always came down to that one point. No matter how much Unohana might have, or might not have, cared for Natsu personally, there was only one reason that the captain had for keeping Natsu here against her wishes. It was because she was damnedly powerful, and the only reason she had even bothered to go to the academy in the first place was because she already knew that. She had needed to be able to control some aspect of her power to simply live.

"I hate the Gotei 13," Natsu finally whispered out leaving them to dump along the ground. She didn't know if she really wanted those words to consume them both, but it might have been a good way to go. "I 'ate tha Gotei 13 an' all shinigami."

"I've understood that deep down in your heart you've been alone all this while, and that you have felt alone... And that you've hated the Gotei 13."

Natsu gave a small nod. Unohana had been, of course, the first to recognize her when she had stepped into the fourth division forty years ago. In fact, it had probably been the only person in the entirety of the remaining Gotei 13 who knew anything at first. Why would anyone remember her? She was just a whisper of a past that people wanted to forget. When the two women had met, it had been nothing more than a continuous stare between one another. Then there was a gentle smile that hid the sudden understanding as they re-introduced themselves to start what was to become a very long game.

It was a secret accord between the two of them and half the reason why the captain allowed for her negligent behaviour most of the time. Even if the details were never spoke, even if the true reason wasn't fleshed out, the captain had always known. Known that here was nothing that was truly keeping her here except for an obscured goal at the end of the tunnel. There was no other reason that she would join the Gotei 13 otherwise, because there wasn't anything for her to do here when her heart wasn't meant to be apart of the system in the first place.

"I'm not asking you to get rid of your hatred," Unohana put out again, softly to try and tip Natsu's head up. It worked just moments later when Natsu raised her radically freckled eyes to stare at the murky, blue depths. "I'm asking you to bare it."

"It'll kill me one day."

"It kills us all."

Natsu let out a weak chuckle and the grimaced. It was childish but her brain could only wrap around that one question. "Why don't I ge' a chance at livin'?"

"Because you are a useful tool, and no tool every gets to sit on the shelf and collect dust," Unohana explained slowly but not to a child. It was to an entirely too exhausted, but not yet dulled out tool; the woman that Natsu tried to not be, but inherently was.

Natsu let out a small groan clenching down onto the fabrics around her stomach. "Sucks."


A/N: Readers... Guys and gals, there's only one chapter left. I'm half considering delaying for the simply reason that then I'm done with Natsu and her weird, twisted malarky and her attitude... Well, I hope you've enjoyed this chapter! Let me know your thoughts, especially now that everything is wrapping up. It really helps me improve as a writer and I appreciate hearing from you all.

Thank you!