Once again everyone, thanks for the reviews. I don't own Phantom.
Since my children had been angels while I was busy at the opera house, I rewarded them with ice cream. We sat outside the ice cream parlor on the benches, as Addie and Gustave indulged themselves into the ice cream that was melting faster than they could eat it. Addie had gotten pumpkin ice cream; Erik's favorite….. Addie might have resembled me in many ways, but he was definitely Erik's daughter….. The ice cream was melting all around her hands, but she continued to lick it….
"Do you think we should bring some home for papa? It's his favorite…." said Addie holding up the remainder of her ice cream."
"It would melt before we would even reach home. Besides, Ms. Fleck bought some at market a few days ago and put it in the ice box."
"Are you going to give it to him tonight?"
"We'll see."
Gustave sat there finishing up his vanilla cone, quiet as ever.
"Why are you being so quiet?" I asked.
"I want to go home and play."
"We're headed that way….the faster you get done, the faster we'll get home."
Gustave shoved the remainder of his ice cream into his mouth, and stood up from the bench.
"Come on, Addie…."
"I'm not finished yet…."
Addie had more ice cream on her face and dress, than she did in her mouth.
"Oh honey…." I groaned, taking a few napkins and wetting them with my saliva. Afterwards I wiped her mouth up with the moist napkin.
"Eww…that's so gross." said Gustave.
"No it's not….now behave yourself."
Addie finished up her ice cream, and we got back into the carriage to go home. My children were home schooled, and taught by Erik. Erik believed the world to be a cruel place, and to protect the well being of our children, he taught them what ever they needed to know. Erik would teach Gustave different things. When he was younger, it was how to read and write. But now that he was getting older, he was teaching him music and masonry… Addie was still small, so at the moment she was being taught her ABC's and how to read. When we arrived home, Gustave unhooked Cesar, and placed him in the stable. He was about to run and play, but I knew what time it was. Ever since Erik had begun teaching Gustave the piano, he has made Gustave practice each day from three to four….. And just because my husband was sick was not going to excuse Gustave from practicing.
"Young man, where do you think you are going?"
"To play…." replied Gustave opening the gate.
"No, you're going to practice…"
"But mother….."
"No buts…."
Gustave groaned as he slunk into the house and over the piano in the music room.
I stood in the laundry room changing Addie out of the ice cream stained dress and into a new one. If Erik saw Addie in such attire, he would surly get angry at me.
"I don't hear any music coming from in there…" I shouted out, hoping Gustave would hear me.
"Mother, I don't want to practice…."
"You either start practicing now, or I'll keep you at that piano until after dinner."
"But mother!"
"Keep wasting time, Gustave…."
Finally the piano began to play, and I finished buttoning the last button of Addie's clean dress.
"What are you going to do now?" she asked.
"I'm going to check on your father, and get a few house hold chores done. Run along and play with your dolls for a while."
"Can you play dollies with me?"
"Perhaps I'll join later…. I must check on your father."
"Ok…"
I waited in the hall until I was sure Addie was in her room, before walking to the kitchen. Once I was there, I found Ms. Fleck cutting up vegetables for the evening's meal.
"You're back Madame…."
"So I am…" I replied, running my sticky hands under water.
"Does vegetable soup sound alright for supper?"
"Yes, very good choice… So how is he?"
Ms. Fleck finished cutting up a carrot, and placed the pieces into an oversized pot that was sitting on the wood burning stove.
"Well he became angry at me this afternoon and yelled, Madame…"
"How come?"
"I brought him his tea, and he threw it at me….."
"Why?"
"He said I added sugar into it…."
Her voice was trembling…
"But I swear I didn't…. the brand of tea was just sweet is all…."
"I believe you mademoiselle." I said. "You must forgive my husband. You know as good as me that his anger comes out for no reason when he's ill. I shall have a word with him."
Ms. Fleck got down to her knees, and grabbed the ends of my skirts…
"Oh, thank you, Madame… You're such a wonderful person."
"Please, don't thank me. Just get up and continue making dinner."
She immediately rose to her feet.
"Yes, Madame."
I knew entering our room empty handed would only anger him more. And if Erik was truly angry, then he was going to become even angrier with me for no apparent reason at all. I went into the ice box, and pulled out the quart of pumpkin ice cream Ms. Fleck had bought a few days back. I scooped a few blobs of the frozen treat into a ceramic bowl, and saved the rest for another day. Afterwards, I walked up the stairs and could hear his groans coming a mile away. The piano down stairs was still being played, and it seemed as if his groans were chanting along with it…
When I reached our door, I took a breath before entering… god knows I was going to need it. Finally I entered, and found something more horrible than I had expected. My Erik was laying in bed, unmasked with his face groaning into his pillow, and his exposed skull gushing blood into the pillow. The blood was overly gushing, but it was releasing it like the slowly trickling water out of a faucet. I placed the ice cream down on the night table, and placed my hand on his shoulder. He tried to lift his face up from the pillow, but I wouldn't let him.
"Erik, stay still….oh my god, stay still."
He continued groaning as I rushed down stairs and to the kitchen.
"Ms. Fleck, hurry! Fill up a basin with hot water…"
Ms. Fleck knew better than to disobey me, and so if I came calling for something, she knew to drop what she was doing and get what ever it was I wanted; on the double. I pulled some clean towels out of the linen closet, and turned around to see Ms. Fleck finishing the task I had asked her to do.
"Is everything alright?" she asked.
"No, I need you to contact Nadir…..tell him he must come at once."
"Yes, Madame, right away."
Over the years, we had not needed Nadir often. Addie had gotten the chicken pox a few years back, and he came to help out then. Then there was another time when Erik had come down with a terrible fever….and now, this. Nadir used to have his office out of London, but came to Rome after the opera house opened. He usually threw us a visit at least once a month to see how things were going, but tonight he was needed drastically. I rushed back to our room, and began dabbing his head with some of the warm water to stop the bleeding. He cringed as I did so, and continued groaning mercifully. I was gentle around his arteries and veins, and only pressed slightly on his skull to dab the bleeding.
Afterwards, I folded up another dry towel, and pressed it against his head to stop further bleeding.
"Hold it there, Erik…."
He rolled over on his back, and his trembling pale hand came up and grasped the towel tightly.
"Erik, hold it tightly…."
I leaned over, and grabbed the ice cream.
"I have something to help your pain…. You'll like this."
I took a spoonful of the ice cream, and held it up to his malformed lips. He wasn't looking at me, he was looking towards the pillow.
"Erik, it's your favorite…. You can only get pumpkin ice cream in October."
Usually the first of October, Erik would escort us all down to the ice cream parlor just to get that first scoop of pumpkin ice cream. The first of October came and went, and Erik was too sick to go. So now I stood before him, and even now he didn't have the urge for it.
"Erik, please…."
"I just want to rest…." was his agonizing reply.
"Nadir is coming soon…..he'll help you."
"Please, just let me rest."
I didn't leave Erik's side, and stayed with him until Nadir showed up. My children gathered around the doorway to my room, but I shooed them away. Nadir rushed in, and placed his bag on the night table. He took the towel off the side of his head, and had a look at Erik's exposed skull.
"When did this start?"
"I don't know, I came home and found him like this."
Nadir then turned to Erik, and repeated the question.
"Erik, when did this start?"
"When did what start?" he asked weakly.
"The bleeding, man…. When did the bleeding start?"
"I….I'm bleeding?"
Nadir turned to me, and placed on his stethoscope.
"He's delirious…."
"He's never bled like this before…."
"I know…."
Nadir began examining his exposed skull, and easily checked each and every artery that was surrounding it. He only lifted his head from Erik when he knew the problem.
"One of his veins burst…."
"Oh my god, Nadir….."
"Look, we need to talk….. Meet me down in the kitchen in five minutes."
"What about Erik?"
"He'll be fine, I'm going to give him something to sleep."
I left our room, and walked down to the dark kitchen, lighting a few candles and placing them on the table to have light. Ms. Fleck was cooking dinner, and I shooed her out of the kitchen to speak with Nadir alone. Nadir joined me a few moments later, and sat down across from me at the table.
He could tell that I was upset over Erik, for he grasped my hand lightly…..
"Lauralye, I know you love Erik very much…..I love him too."
"Nadir….please help him."
"I know, and now, we must talk….."
"We are talking…"
"No, we need to talk about Erik."
"I'm listening."
He squeezed my hand tightly, and his eyes met with mine.
"Lauralye, as much as you hate to hear this, if something isn't done about the pressure on Erik's skull, he's going to die."
"What are you saying?"
"The pressure on his exposed skull is so much, that it caused one of his veins to burst. If we don't do something soon, the next time it might be one of his arteries, and if that happens, he's going to bleed to death."
Tears began to rush out of my eyes….. I placed my head into my hands, and sobbed.
"But you said surgery was not an option, Nadir……you said it yourself that he would die…"
"Yes, I did, but we must do something, and surgery is the only option."
"So let me get this straight, he dies if he doesn't have surgery, and he'll die if he does…."
"Lauralye, you can't think like this."
"Did you know that Erik begs me every night for surgery….. He begs it of me Nadir, but I don't want to risk loosing him. I don't want him to die…."
"Lauralye…..please.."
"No, you listen to me, Nadir. You said it yourself that he would die."
"There is a way. Now, surgery is the only option for his survival. I could relieve the pressure on his head, and if he pulls through the surgery, he'll live. He'll still have headaches every once in a while, I can't prevent that from continuing. His exposed skull hitting the atmosphere is the cause of that. But I assure you that the headaches he'll endure won't be nearly as bad as the ones he's having now."
I heard a small whimper from the door way, and looked over to see Addie and Gustave hiding around the corner, trying to listen in on the conversation. I walked towards them, and stood there with my arms crossed. Addie had tears in her eyes, and Gustave had an angry expression on his face.
"Momma….please help papa…" cried Addie.
"I am trying to…"
"You know papa is going to die without that surgery." said Gustave.
"Please don't let papa die, momma…"
"Just go play together until dinner. Please…."
I waited until Gustave took Addie away, and went back into the kitchen. I placed my head in my hands, and ran my fingers through my hair.
"Tell me what to do, Nadir….just tell me what to do…"
"I can give him surgery. He'd be awake the whole time….. He has to be in order to answer questions I ask him during the surgery. I would have to cut through a few veins to get into his exposed skull……that could be dangerous, but it's his only chance at survival."
I thought about what to do. I didn't want to loose Erik, but I knew if he didn't have surgery, I would find him bleeding to death one morning.
"Ok, I'll do it."
"I'll come back first thing tomorrow morning. The tools I need to perform the surgery are back at my office."
"Ok…"
When Nadir stood to leave, I walked him to the door, and thanked him for coming. I wasn't hungry, how could I be? I was worried about Erik and if this would be his last night alive. Gustave put himself to bed, and I went into Addie's room to tuck her in. She held one of her dolls close to her, and looked up at me with sad eyes.
"Will papa be alright, mama…."
"I hope so, sweet heart."
"Mama, please don't let papa die…"
"I will do what ever possible to keep him alive…." I said.
"Can I see papa?"
"He's asleep…. He needs to get all his rest to get better."
"Ok mama…..just tell him to get better."
I smiled, and kissed my daughter on the head.
"I will, now sleep my child."
The house was silent, and not even Ms. Fleck dared to ask me how I was…. I walked up the stairs to our room, and entered for the night. Once there, I dressed in my night gown, and turned to see Erik still asleep. He was deathly pale, and had dark circles under his eyes. I knew if he didn't have this surgery he was sure to die….. I easily crawled into bed, and placed my hand over his forehead. As soon as I did so, I heard him slightly groan, and sway his head back and forth on the pillows.
"Shh… my love…. Everything shall be fine."
"Chr…Christine.."
My god, he was delirious…. Never had he ever called out Christine's name. I lay there on my pillow, listening to him as his groaning continued.
"Oh….chr…Christine…. Don't leave me……don't…don't go with him… I need…you."
I placed a small kiss against his neck, and he sighed deeply.
"Oh…Christine…"
"Erik…my love…"
My husband's eyes fluttered open, and weakly stared at me…..
My hand cupped his distorted cheek ever so softly, and placed my lips over his. He just lay there looking at me, as if he didn't know who I was.
"Erik, everything is going to be ok. I promise that you're going to be ok. Nadir is going to come give you a surgery tomorrow…"
"Surgery…."
"Yes, my love….you're going to be fine…"
It was then that my husband closed his eyes again, keeping them closed for the remainder of the night. I was tired, but I couldn't go to sleep, not with my husband being the way he was. The thought of him bleeding again during the night frightened me, and therefore I stayed awake. When the sun began to rise, I told the children what was going to be happening today, and that they were to stay outside and play. Nadir came around eight, carrying his usual medical bag, and a few extra things.
"Are you ready for this?" he asked.
I wasn't, how could I be? But I was as ready as I was ever going to be.
"Yes…." was my half reply.
"Take me to him."
I led Nadir up the stairs, and into our room.
"Has he been sleeping the whole night?"
"He woke for a few seconds last night, but he was delirious…. He cried out for Christine."
"Please don't be angry at him, Madame. Usually when given such a medicine one will say names that are deep down in their memory."
"I'm not mad. I know that he cared for that girl very much…..but I know I mean more to him."
"Well I must wash up, do you have a basin and some soap?"
"Yes, over in the corner."
"I'm going to wash my hands, while I'm doing so, wake him up."
I approached the beside, and gently shook Erik by the shoulder.
"Erik, wake up….."
His eyes weakly fluttered open, and made contact with mine.
"How do you feel?"
"I'm….I'm in agony."
"You're having surgery…..ok?"
"Ok…"
Nadir came back to open his bag and began taking out the scalpels and needles that he would need to complete the surgery.
"I would appreciate it if you stayed with him during the surgery, incase things go wrong."
"I'm not leaving."
"Good."
Nadir began filling up a syringe with some kind of sedative, and looked down at the dosage before approaching Erik.
"What is that?" I asked.
"A slight sedative to keep him calm and ease the pain."
"It won't make him tired, right?"
"No, he has to stay awake."
Nadir then put the needle into Erik's dead forearm, and inserted the medicine.
"It's going to take a few seconds to take effect. While we're waiting, let's roll him over to his side so I can get access to his exposed skull."
Erik groaned when we both rolled him over on his side, but it was for his own good.
"Ok, Lauralye, you're going to have to keep him still, and awake. Just keep him calm….."
I kneeled down at his side, and took Erik's hand into mine.
"Erik, can you hear me…."
His eyes met with mine, and he slightly smiled.
"Yes, my love….."
"Has the pain gone away yet?"
"A little…."
Nadir was on the other side of the bed, leaning over to examine the part of his head he was going to be working on. He had a scalpel in one hand, and his other traced over each vein that was surrounding his head.
"What are you doing, Nadir?"
"Looking for a way around the veins….they're so thick that it's hard to find a small space to get myself in."
"Just be careful." I said.
"I am, Madame…"
I cradled Erik's hand in mine, as I awaited the surgery to start.
"No, there's not a way in."
My heart ached within my chest….. I could already tell I was in for a long painful day.
"So what now?"
"I'm going to have to amputate on of his veins to get anywhere near his skull."
"Nadir….please don't hurt him."
"There's no other way….now just relax, and keep an eye on his vitals. If he even seems sick, immediately tell me."
I looked up at Nadir, as the scalpel came down on one of his veins, and blood began to flow. I turned my glance down to Erik, who's face was turning completely white, and his breathing was picking up rapidly.
"Erik, stay with me….."
He didn't say a word, and continued cringing in agony.
"How you doing down there, Erik?" he asked.
"Cold…."
"Lauralye, cover him up to his shoulders….."
I did as I was asked, and placed the quilt up to Erik's shoulder.
"It's the blood loss." said Nadir. "Just keep him talking…I'm almost in.."
"Erik, stay with me….talk to me, Erik…"
"I'm…I'm talking."
"Erik, when you get better I'm going to take you out to dinner…."
"I'd….like….like that."
"Tell me Erik, where do you want to go?"
"I..I..I don't know…"
"Tell me, Erik…."
Erik didn't answer me, and began cringing in agony again.
"Keep him talking, Lauralye….I'm cutting into him.."
"Erik, speak to me…."
"I'm…tired."
"You can't fall asleep….not yet."
Nadir then took over.
"Erik, I'm going to start pressing in certain places. When you feel the most agonizing pain let me know…."
Erik lay there looking at me, cringing in agony as Nadir pressed down inside his skull.
"Anything yet, Erik…."
"No….."
"Now?"
"No…."
It was then that Erik screamed in agony……and blood began to heavily flow out of skull as Nadir cut into it to relieve the pressure.
Nadir quickly threw on his stethoscope, and pressed it to Erik's chest, listening for a heartbeat.
"Nadir…."
"I cut into his skull, the pressure is relieved…."
"Nadir is he alive?"
"I don't hear his heart….."
"Erik…..Erik wake up please….."
It was then that Nadir pressed on Erik's chest to resuscitate him, as I stood there praying for him to be ok…
"Erik, come on…..please…"
And then as if God had heard my pleas, Erik's eyes flew open, and he gasped for air….. The surgery was over, and my Erik was still alive….. Nadir stitched Erik up, and gave him something to help him sleep. For the reminder of the day, I continued to check on him, and always found him sleeping. It wasn't until after I tucked the kids in bed that I came back in our bedroom to find Erik laying half awake.
"Erik, sweetheart, how do you feel?"
I rushed over to his side, and crawled in bed with him.
"I….I feel…"
"Yes?"
"I…died…"
I knew Erik was still feeling woozy from the high dosage of pain medication Nadir had him on.
"Erik, you're fine…."
"I…I saw Christine…. She was an angel."
"What?"
"When I passed out….in the surgery, everything went black… I saw Christine… she was an angel… She apologized to me and…..and…told me that I raised Gustave well……I asked her if I was dead, and she said that it wasn't my time……she didn't want to make you sad by taking me away from you……..she kissed me…her kiss gave me life……She..she…."
"Erik, please calm down……sleep…."
His hand weakly touched my cheek, and he closed his eyes.
"I….love…you."
Erik then fell asleep with his head crooked in my neck. I believed Erik's story….and if it were certainly true, the only one I had to thank was Christine….. And as I fell asleep, I looked towards the window, staring at the night sky, and sighed as I pressed my husband's body closer to me.
"Thank you…..Christine…"
Thanks everyone….. Please review… I haven't gotten a lot of reviews the past few chapters. More to come soon….
