"We'll have to scale the wall." Arthur decided, my mouth dropping open at the sight of the fortress, that had been hidden in the woods, looming before us. Surely he didn't expect me to be able to climb that? Right?
"Maybe there's another way in." I debated, looking around for an unused servants entrance or tunnel.
"Why don't you go knock on the front gate? I'm sure if you ask nicely, they'll hand Guinevere over to you." He replied, quoting the lines I'd used on him about the Knights. I just glared at him in return before sighing and accepting the fact that it really was the only way we were going to get in undetected. I didn't really want to have to fight all of Hengist's men if there was a way around it. Not when it could get Arthur killed.
Arthur was a good couple of foot above me, clearly not as lacking in upper body strength as I was, and seemed to be getting irritated the longer he was forced to wait around for me to catch up.
"You really are completely useless aren't you, Merlin?" Actually, I thought I was doing quite well considering. I hadn't fallen to my death at least. Besides, scaling a wall was hard enough under normal circumstances. Scaling one in armour? I hadn't even expected to last long enough to get halfway.
"This is harder than it looks," I growled, concentrating on not losing my grip as I pulled myself up another couple of inches. He carried on, leaving me to catch up in my own time, taking less than half the time I was. " Now you're just showing off!" I forced myself to grit my teeth and keep moving, ignoring the shaking in my arms and how numb my fingers had become. It was either up or down… I preferred up.
The hallways were practically empty as we walked through the fortress. It made me uneasy. Where was everyone? Were we in the wrong place? I would not be impressed if we were after scrambling up the side of the building. Arthur put his arm out in front of me, looking around a corner where light was emanating. Finally! Two guards sat together with a tankard each, playing some sort of game with a pair of dice.
"You distract them. I'll knock them out." How was I supposed to do that? Every time I'd distracted guards I'd used Magick but I couldn't well do that with Arthur stood right behind me.
"How do I distract them?" I whispered. Arthur shoved me around the corner, both of the guards turning to stare at me whilst I just stood there gaping like a fish as I tried to think of what to do next.
"What are you doing there?" Erm…
"Nothing." I shrugged, moving away from the doorway as they began to circle me. Making a mental note to pay Arthur back for this later. "Actually, it's a funny story." I stopped, breathing a silent sigh of relief as they paused right by the doorway Arthur was hidden behind. "I was out walking and I took a wrong turn, and here I am." I shrugged. I almost laughed at the disbelief on their faces. Who the Hell takes a wrong turn and finds themselves in a fortress? If I were them I'd have already jumped me. "Do you know the way to the Veil of Denaria?" I asked, wondering what the heck was taking Arthur so long!
"Who are you?" One of them asked, beginning to lose patience with me. I finally spotted Arthur beginning to edge his way forward, ready to knock the guards out.
"Me? I'm no one. It's him you need to worry about." I pointed to where Arthur was stood directly behind them, shocked that neither of them had even noticed him advancing.
"Who?" Arthur had smashed their heads together before they had a chance to find out.
We stashed their bodies in an alcove, stealing their robes to cover our armour and continuing in the direction the guards had been blocking.
We came across a doorway that showed at least a hundred men inside making a bunch of noise; cheering and hollering at something in the middle of the room that I couldn't see from our vantage point behind them. I followed Arthur as he eased his way around the crowd and they started to shout louder. I finally made out what it was they were looking at. Gwen was tied in the centre of a cage with Lancelot. What the Hell was he doing here?!
"Release the Wildren!" A burly man shouted from right beside the cage and I looked to Arthur in horror. He was already gone. Running straight for the cage and using one of the members of the crowd to push himself over the top of it and landing on his feet on the other side, rushing to cut through the ropes that tied Gwen's and Lance's hands' behind their backs'. I looked around to see if anyone noticed I'd come in with him, I didn't want to be suddenly attacked whilst I was distracted but everyone's attention was fixed on the Prince wielding his sword as a Wildren stalked into the cage from a tunnel entrance that had been previously blocked by a now raised grate. I grabbed another sword from one of the crowd, taking advantage of their distraction and rushing forward to throw it into the cage.
"Lancelot!" I called in warning as I threw the sword, getting his attention so he could grab it and drawing other eyes in the process. Whoops.
"Merlin!" Arthur roared in warning and I spun to see a crossbow aimed at me; the room slowed down as a bolt came at me and my instinctual magick kicked in. I looked behind to see Arthur watching the burly man who'd shot at me and breathed a sigh of relief. No way would I have been able to explain disappearing from one spot and reappearing somewhere else. I took a single step to the left and let the magick go. Smirking as the bolt missed me and got stuck in one of the bars of the cage. I hurried to clamber over the gate, preferring to face the Wildren than a bunch of bloodthirsty savages. 'Accidently' kicking one of the crowd in the head as he made to grab my ankle and losing my balance in the process, causing me to stumble to the floor when I landed beside the others. Arthur hurriedly grabbed my arm and pulled me behind him and Lancelot as they faced the Wildren, I drew my own sword in readiness as Gwen pulled the gate to the tunnel up behind us and I watched as the burly man who'd shot at me began to enter the cage. He must have been Hengist.
"After them!" He called, rallying the rest of the bandits. I grabbed both Lancelot's and Arthur's arms', gently coaxing them to back up into the tunnel. They let me lead them back as they watched in case of an attack, keeping their eyes on the bandits and Wildren.
"Take Guinevere. I'll hold them off." Lancelot ordered as soon as we were in the tunnel, Arthur and Gwen beginning to jog further into the tunnel and pausing at his words.
"No!" Gwen cried, not even looking at Arthur as he grabbed her arm to pull her further into the tunnel.
"Guinevere, we have to go!" Arthur continued to drag her, assuming I would follow. I watched as they continued, not looking back and smirked at Lancelot before facing the grate once they were out of sight.
"Learh fearnancai." The rope that was holding the grate to the tunnel open snapped, locking the bandits in with the Wildren. It was Hengist who noticed first. Running towards the now closed tunnel and shaking the bars as he realised he was trapped.
"Open the grate!" His voice was panicked but I struggled to feel any mercy for the man who had shot at me with a crossbow only moments before, even when the Wildren began to advance on his exposed back. He heard its screeching just before it attacked and even whilst feeling no guilt, I couldn't watch it tear into him. Preferring to look at the face of a friend I had begun to think I wouldn't see again. It had been over a year and he looked the same as ever, a little dirtier perhaps, but otherwise unchanged. I heard Hengist screaming and forced myself to keep my eyes on Lancelot, surprised when he didn't look away from the scene unfolding on the other side of the grate.
"I see you're still up to your old tricks, Merlin." He smiled, finally looking at me. He wasn't completely unchanged it seemed, whilst he didn't show any outwards sign of a difference his eyes… they were harder now. Not as carefree as when he'd come to Camelot. I wondered briefly what had happened to change that.
"Probably best you don't tell anyone about that." I reminded him, taking comfort in his light chuckle before we ran to catch up with the other two. Nearly running straight into Arthur as he rounded the corner.
"Merlin! Where the Hell were you?!" He was furious with me. As usual.
"Helping." I shrugged, beginning to walk past him and not the least bit surprised when he grabbed my arm and forced me to face him.
"Helping?! Are you insane?! You could have gotten yourself killed back there!"
"So could Lancelot." I reminded him.
"Lancelot was made a Knight of Camelot! He can handle himself!"
"Like you can?" I challenged, raising an eyebrow as I remembered all the times I'd save his ass. I wasn't some weak little girl; I knew how to look after myself. He knew that and it drove me insane when he got all protective.
"Maybe we should save this conversation until we're actually safe?" Lancelot cut in, breaking Arthur and me out of our argument. I stepped back, turning around when Arthur dropped my arm and went in search of Gwen. Arthur must have left her at the exit.
"It's good to see you both." Lancelot said, breaking the awkward silence that had settled as we followed the tunnel to a locked grate that showed the grounds outside. Perfect. Gwen sat against it, her head between her knees as she struggled to catch her breath. I placed a hand on her shoulder, smiling comfortingly when she met my gaze, her face reddening at being caught during a weak moment. "Where are your Knights?" Lancelot asked, seeing no help outside the fortress.
"It's just us," Arthur admitted as he struggled with the gate and both Lancelot and Gwen looked at me with questions in their eyes. I just shrugged, not willing to explain the situation just yet and Arthur finally managed to get the grate down. "We've got to keep moving." He reminded us and I followed after him, waiting on the other side of the grate as Gwen took Lancelot's outstretched hand and smiling a little at the bond that had clearly only grown stronger between them whilst in Hengist's captivity. I felt Arthur watching me and met his gaze to see the longing there, I just smiled sadly up at him, our argument forgotten as what we could never have played out in front of us in the form of Lancelot and Gwen. Arthur grasped my arm, gently this time, and began to lead me away from the fortress at a run as the others followed after us.
"I'm surprised that you would undertake such a rescue mission with just the two of you?" Lancelot admitted as we sat around the burning fire, the night was fully dark by now but Arthur hadn't long decided we'd finally put enough distance between ourselves and the fortress to allow for a rest. I was relieved, now that Gwen was safe beside me, the exhaustion of the past few days was settling in and I could barely keep my eyes open. We had started the trek over the mountains – not willing to risk another trip through the tunnels without the urgency – an hour before and my legs were shaking at the exertion, we would not get to the horses until tomorrow evening at least and I had desperately needed the break.
"My father would not risk the lives of his knights for a servant," Arthur admitted, ashamed at his father's viewpoint, refusing to meet anyone's eyes and just looking into the fire. Gwen nudged me and motioned for me to go to him, knowing how much I hated to see him upset I did as she ordered. Picking up a wineskin from my saddle bag beside the log and taking it over to him as an excuse before sitting on the ground with my back against the log he was sat on, my arm resting against his knee. I had tried to be as casual about it as possible but Lancelot's sharp eyes caught the small act of comfort I was giving the Prince, to anyone else it wouldn't have looked like anything but a servant taking something to their master and deciding to just wait there in case they were needed but Lancelot knew me. Knew that I wasn't one to just go out of my way to serve. Protect, yes. Not serve.
"And yet you disobeyed him and came here anyway?" Lancelot looked at me, making it clear that he knew I was the one responsible.
"Have you met Merlin? Between her and Morgana… I'd much rather face my father's wraith than theirs." Arthur tried lightening the mood and it worked, the four of us burst into laughter at the hilarity of him being more afraid of two women than the King of Camelot. When it fell silent again I watched Gwen yawn into her hand and smiled understandingly over at her, she must have been exhausted after all that had happened.
"I think I will get some rest." She informed us and I handed her my bed roll, knowing she needed it more than I did. I was more than used to sleeping on hard ground with the fire as warmth. She wasn't.
"We should all get some rest," Arthur admitted, looking at his own bedroll and biting his lip as he considered offering it out.
"I will stand guard for a while." Lancelot decided, making Arthurs mind up for him. He couldn't very well be seen to give it to his servant even if it was just Gwen and Lancelot with us. Not that I would have accepted it anyway. The thought of listening to him moaning about being tired tomorrow wasn't worth it.
"I'll just… sit here then." I said to the burning fire as everyone else had already walked off to find their positions. I finally let a few tears escape me; some at the fact that Arthur and I's time together was over, others were from relief that Gwen was safe, and a few at the fact that I could see whatever life Lancelot had found after leaving Camelot hadn't been easy.
Once my tears had dried I went to find Lancelot, I had barely had the chance to speak to him since we'd escaped Hengist's fortress and it had been over a year since I'd seen him. I wanted to catch up and I was sick of sitting alone and crying over Arthur.
"Is it true then? That Arthur came to rescue Gwen because of you?"
"And because Morgana called him a gutless coward." I sniggered, letting the image of his face when Morgana called him out chase away the last of my sorrow.
"He has feelings for you, doesn't he?" I just sort of shrugged, not even sure how to answer that question even if I wanted to. "And you have feelings for him." It wasn't a question this time, he'd worked out my feelings on his own but I hadn't come up here to talk about my doomed love life so I hurried to change the subject.
"What about you? Do you have feelings for Gwen?"
"It doesn't matter. Her life is in Camelot and mine… isn't. Tell Gwen… tell her that she has changed me forever but some things cannot be." What? Seriously? This was the first time I'd seen him in over a year and he was leaving already? And he and Gwen being impossible? He had just been quizzing me on Arthur and now he was saying their relationship was impossible?
"No. Oh Hell no! Don't you dare play the 'it cannot be' card, Lancelot! You haveno idea about what can't be!" My voice was a shout and I winced as it echoed through the trees, I'd be lucky if I hadn't woken Gwen and Arthur up. Lancelot put his hands up in a surrender gesture.
"Whoa, Merlin I didn't mean –" I cut him off, not interested in his apologies.
"I'll tell you what can't be, Lancelot; a Servant and a Prince. A Sorceress and the son of a man who has made it his life's mission to kill everyone like me." I worked to hush my tone, not wanting Arthur to overhear as tears began to fill my eyes and I hurried to blink them back before he could comment on them. "So tell me, Lancelot, what is so hard about yours and Gwen's relationship?"
"I admit that it's not as hard to work out as yours is." He stepped closer to me, placing a comforting hand on my bicep. "But Merlin, I have nothing I can give her. I have no skills that can provide for her. All I am good at is fighting and I cannot do that in Camelot." I doubted Gwen would care about something like that but I understood. A man being unable to provide for his wife would look awful in the eyes of so many but that didn't mean it had to be forever.
"Not yet, perhaps. But Arthur was willing to fight his father for you to remain Knighted. I understand that you did not want to cause any problems between them but do you honestly think he won't accept you as one of his Knights once he is crowned King."
"I couldn't expect her to wait for me, Merlin." The fact this conversation was so similar to the one Arthur and I had shared wasn't lost on me and I felt my heart break for the man who had become so beaten down in the last year that he didn't think himself worthy of love.
"If she feels for you like you feel for her, or like I feel for Arthur… she'll wait." He didn't look convinced but there a slight glimmer of the man I'd known in his eyes and it gave me hope. "Look, Lancelot. I'm not asking you to stay. Or to come back to Camelot with us right now. But promise me that you will return to Camelot one day. That when Arthur is King you will come back to us and accept the Knighthood he bestowed on you."
"Why?" He seemed genuinely perplexed as to why I felt so strongly about this but he was my friend and I hated to see him suffer. Just as I would have to see Gwen suffer when I told her he was gone. If all I could give them both was a little hope, something to wait for… at least it was something. It was more than I had.
"Because you deserve it and… because you need it. I can see how much you've changed, Lancelot. How difficult it's been for you since you left and honestly? I think if you stay away and have nothing to look to, you're gonna end up getting yourself killed."
Until next time, my friend. Lancelot's parting words echoed in my mind as I stomped out the fire, the morning sun beginning to rise over the horizon. I had accepted there would be no time for me to rest when Lancelot first admitted he was leaving us. There had been so much to say and not enough time to say it and my heart was heavy with all of the conversations that would have to wait. Gwen stirred as I finished with the fire, her eyes immediately searching for someone she wouldn't find.
"Where's Lancelot?" She asked, not spotting him and the look on my face must have been enough for her to realise my answer wouldn't be a happy one. "Where is he?" Her words were softer now, saddened at what she no doubt already knew.
"He's gone." She seemed to crumble a little, her heartbreaking and I felt my own brokenness reaching out to hers. I went to her, wrapping my arms around her smaller frame as tears began to leak from her eyes. "He wanted me to tell you that you have changed him forever and that one day he will return to Camelot but he doesn't want you to wait for him. That if someone else captures your heart along the way he will understand."
"There will never be another." She whispered through her tears and I felt my own join hers as her words echoed mine. I spotted Arthur beginning to stand from his bedroll, no doubt having already heard our conversation and as his eyes met my tear-filled ones I saw a hint of moisture in his own before he turned his back on us. Allowing us all our small moment of grief.
Gwen and I had ridden back together atop my horse and once we'd finally arrived in Camelot I had left Arthur and Gwen to see Morgana whilst I immediately went back to my own chambers to get the sleep I had missed out on for the past few days, barely able to stand long enough to hug Gaius before my bed called to me.
