Author's Note: Several commenters have been asking whether or not I was getting everyone all worked up about the whole "missed period" plot point, or if I just forgot about it altogether. I assure you that neither is true. I've been saving this up for you. I hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think!

Chapter 51: Muggle Tests

"Mum! I'm fine!" Hermione said loudly, having locked herself in the bathroom.

"Hermione Jean Granger!" her mother said sternly from the other side of the door, "You will do this, and you will do it before your father gets home! Now open the door!"

Hermione grumbled, but she did as she was told.

Her mother poked her hand in through the door, which was holding a brown paper bag.

"I'm not sure why you thought that you could purchase something like this without me finding out, but I would suggest that next time you attempt to do such a thing that you avoid leaving it sitting on your bedside table," the woman who glared down at her daughter looked a lot like an older version of Hermione, her skin a shade or two darker, with beautiful tightly curled hair that bounced like tiny springs around her face as she moved. Her voice at the moment was very similar to Hermione at her most bossy, and something about this fact grated on Hermione's nerves.

"Ok, ok!" she said testily, as she grabbed the bag, "Just leave me here for a little bit. I'll let you know as soon as I do!"

She heard her mother walking down the stairs muttering something about "how can that school be protected from all manner of things but this?" and Hermione blushed deeply, pulling the small boxed item out of the bag.

"Well," she said to herself, "I guess I had better get this over with before Mum changes her mind and decides that she wants to stand and observe the whole time."

She hoped that the muggle device wouldn't work properly, but something told her that in this sort of situation, even muggle technology could not be fooled.


Hermione wasn't completely oblivious about the physical goings on of her body. After the first month she had missed it, she had noticed that a distinct lack of her monthly cycle had seemingly coincided with when she had started school that fall, but she had dismissed it as part of the new precautions that had been placed on the school. Sometimes she wondered if she was the only one who read Hogwarts: A History. The section on student health went into some detail on the sorts of wards and spells that had been placed around the gates of Hogwarts, and one part specifically mentioned contraceptive charms. In fact, Hogwarts boasted an unblemished history of zero instances of accidental student pregnancies. So regardless of the initial shock of waking up in a sticky post coital mess and her subsequent forays into unprotected sex, she had done some more research in the library and was relatively confident that it would come to nothing. Still, a part of her felt a strange undercurrent of nagging suspicion that she was missing a crucial piece of information.

To make matters more complicated, it wasn't exactly possible to bring up her suspicions with Madame Pomfrey. Any information she divulged to the medi-witch was sure to be reported back in some way to Dumbledore, and she did not fancy answering questions about her nocturnal habits, especially not with the Headmaster. But even so, her doubts and worries persisted, so as soon as she had returned home for the break, she had taken the opportunity to take a bus downtown to one of the larger, more impersonal pharmacies to purchase something incredibly embarrassing but crucial for her peace of mind. Her parents, obviously, thought she was visiting the library and were supposed to be out for most of the day seeing dental patients anyway, so she felt it was the perfect moment to put her plan into effect. It had taken her about an hour of indecision to lump the item under five or six other innocuous items and place them on the checkout treadmill. She was glad when the lumpy teenager at the register simply gave her a bored, glazed look when asking for her money.

She berated herself for having been so stupid. Of course her mother had the infuriating habit of looking through her things, but she'd let down her guard because her mother was supposed to be at work until later that evening. But apparently, not many people wished to get teeth cleanings right around the holidays due to traveling, so her afternoon had been clear and she'd decided to come home and surprise her daughter. Hermione could not begrudge her mother for trying to be thoughtful, but she still found herself incredibly ashamed at having been caught.

I'm so sorry, Hermione. I can't help but feel like I'm partially at fault for all of this stress.

Lily had been reassuring the entire morning and Hermione was grateful for her invisible friend. With Harry off with the Weasleys and Ron...well...being Ron, and Ginny stealing away with Dean all the time, Hermione didn't have anyone else to talk with about her worries. And while being an only child had its perks, not having a sibling to talk to about these sorts of things made Hermione wistful for a sister.

If it makes you feel any better, I'm scared too.

It didn't, but she smiled half-heartedly and made a small, sad noise in reply.

Waiting for results of any test was never easy for Hermione. But this was the first one she was actually hoping to fail. When she'd waited five minutes, she chanced a look and groaned.

Maybe this one is broken. The box says you should try both to make sure.

Hermione steeled herself and grabbed the other one, hoping that Lily was right.


"Mum?" Hermione was walking down the stairs, her expression unreadable.

"Yes, Mio'luv?" her mother replied, using her silly childhood nickname as she pushed a cup of tea towards her daughter. Hermione was thankful for something to do with her hands as she added a little sugar and milk and stirred it all together with a silver spoon.

"Um, I just wanted to let you know that...well...it's not easy to say this…" Hermione trailed off, looking away.

"Hermione!" her mother said sternly, softening her tone when she saw her daughter shrink back at her name, "Just give me a straight answer, ok luv?"

"I'm….not….er...pregnant?" she said, adding a strange questioning tone to the end of her statement.

"Let me see, then," her mother was suspicious, holding out her hand.

Hermione placed the pregnancy tests in her mother's hand and her mother reviewed them seriously.

After a long moment, she sighed heavily and turned back to her daughter.

"Why exactly did you buy these if not to give me a heart attack, then?" she said tiredly.

"Well, it was for a friend of mine," Hermione lied, unable to make eye contact with her mother, grabbing them out of her mother's hands, "I'll throw these away, mum."

"In the future, have your friends take care of their own shopping, ok luv?" her mother said, the relief plain on her face, "Can you imagine what your father would say if he was the one who had found them?"

"Yes, mum," Hermione said quickly, gulping down her tea and quickly turning to go back up the stairs to her room, "I need to finish unpacking some things that I want to throw in the laundry basket, ok?"

Her mother made a noncommittal noise and Hermione made a quick retreat from the kitchen.


I guess it's a good thing your mum is a muggle. She didn't notice that you used a Concealing Charm on the second line.

Hermione had waited until safely behind her bedroom door before she let the first tears slip from her eyes. She still felt completely in shock about the results. What had gone wrong? She and Severus had never had sex outside of the grounds of Hogwarts. Was Hogwarts: A History lying about how effective the charms actually were? Or was it something else?

There were more questions than answers, and for the first time in a long time, Hermione was completely stumped.

Hermione. I think we need to let him know.

Hermione nodded, hugging herself tightly as she felt a sudden chill in the pit of her stomach.

"He's going to hate me! I'll never see him again!" she hissed into her shoulder.

Sev is not like that. He is loyal to a fault, even if it doesn't seem that way sometimes.

Hermione hoped that Lily was right as she fumbled for the bead around her neck.

"Transcriptus," she said, pulling her wand and thinking the words she wanted to send, extremely grateful that she was of age and could now do magic outside of school without getting punished by the Ministry.

I need to see you. H

The words in silver seemed to etch themselves into the deep black bead, then slipped away as though they had been absorbed under the surface.

It wasn't until that night, as she lay in her bed, trying to get comfortable, that she felt the heat prickle urgently against her skin.

Open your window. S

Hermione looked up as she heard a slight tapping noise against the glass and her heart leaped with both dread and excitement.

Hermione, what are we going to tell him?

Hermione didn't answer. She wished that she knew.