"Ethan you really should go now."

He stroked her skin on her face not going anywhere. Not walking away from the woman who carried his child. Damn he should find a way to get her to just marry him but it wasn't going well for him right now.

"I can't…"

"Why not?"

He looped his arms around her waist.

"Because I can't leave you alone. You're in the family way because I put you there and I want to take responsibility…"

She sighed.

"I won't let you…I know it's my fault. But Ethan I can't repeat my mistakes. I can't marry again without knowing full well what I'm in for."

He held her tightly.

"You're in for a life with me. Amelia…I'll take care of you and our baby. Build a house for you by the lake and a home for you with the children. Whatever you want…"

She put her hands on his chest.

"Ethan…"

"Amelia…I want this with you and I know you do too."

She sighed.

"I went that road with Pierce and see how it turned out."

"I'm not him and you know it…"

She nodded, still feeling his embrace.

"I know it…but what he did to me…I didn't get over quickly…"

"He's not here right now…"

She sighed against him.

"I know…but he and I…"

She couldn't finish, resting her head against his own.

"We…well this isn't the first time I've been pregnant Ethan…"

His eyes blinked as he looked at her in amazement.

"You and he…"

She nodded, her eyes clouding.

"I got pregnant with his child not long before he left Ethan…I didn't know how to feel about it. Things weren't well between us and yet…"

He tilted her chin up with his fingers to look directly at her.

"You wanted that baby…nothing wrong with that."

She sighed.

"I…I was happy in a way though I knew I'd be all alone…Pierce he's a child himself as you know and he didn't…well he was excited about the baby but I knew it wouldn't interrupt his own plans…I'd be alone with it…I just loved it so much I didn't care but…"

"But what…?"

His voice so gentle and soft she barely heard it.

"I fell sick one morning but not like the morning malaise. I…it hurt and I didn't have anyone to help me. Pierce had left me all alone and…"

Ethan stroked her face knowing she needed him right now.

"What happened Amelia? You can tell me. You know that."

She paused.

"I lost our child….I didn't know what to do Ethan…but I lost it. John Taylor helped me because there was no doctor."

Ethan swallowed painfully seeing her own face remembering it all as if it were yesterday.

"Oh Amelia…."

She shrugged.

"I got through it…I made it though it wasn't easy after he took off."

He slid his arms around her more tightly and pulled her close to him.

"I'm sorry…"

"What for?"

"That you had to go through that. You shouldn't have been alone."

She shrugged it off…after all survival had been part of her life for so long now.

"Ethan I'm just fine. I got through it and moved on," she said, "I'm happy about our baby…I just learned that marriage…I don't know if it's something I can depend on…"

He looked at her.

"Amelia…I'm here with you. I want to marry you so we can all be a family together."

"I know…but Ethan…I don't know if I'm ready for it," she said, "I might need some time…"

He hedged.

"How much time? You're going to have a baby…our baby and I'll be damned if you do it without me."

She narrowed her eyes.

"Who said anything about that? I'm not going to keep you from your child Ethan…I'm not sure about marriage but I know you'll make a great father."

He sighed.

"I loved you…Amelia…I loved you the night we made our baby…"

She looked at him and the expression on her face made her breath catch.

"I know that…I do…I just need some time. I trust you…it's myself I'm not so sure about right now. I wish you understood."

He held onto his patience.

"I'll try. But I'm not leaving you alone anymore. I'm going to be here for you…"

"What about the children?"

"Claire's helping. She understands and she doesn't want you to be alone either."

She folded her arms.

"I have Rose…she's been watching over me."

"You got me too and I intend to keep watch over you…I'm not asking Amelia…I'm saying…"

When he talked like that, how could she refuse him?

"Okay…but I can handle myself okay? And Rose is my guest and doesn't need bossing."

He nodded.

"Fair enough…Amelia you're not alone here you do get that?"

She smiled at that.

"Yes I think I do…."