Chapter Fifty-Three

"I really wish you would have let me buy lunch," Spencer said in between bites of Bhindhi Jaipuri.

Spencer and Ashley were sitting on a picnic blanket enjoying a casual Indian lunch in her living room. Bhindhi Jaipuri is an appetizer of cauliflower with potatos cooked together with onions, spices, and tomatos. Ashley's was onion pakora, which was sliced onion with green chili coated in chick pea flour crisp fried. They were also splitting Paneer fingers, which were cream fried paneer marinated in yoghurt mixed in Indian spices and served with tartar sauce, as well as Idli, which are steamed rice pancakes.

As a main course, Spencer had butter chicken, which was tandoor roasted hicken cooked in thick cream butter gravy. Ashley had Biryani, which is juicy pieces of mutton cooked with saffron flavored basmati rice and spices and garnished with nuts. They had also ordered various desserts and Spencer watched in amazement as Ashley unapologetically tucked her food away. She may have been small in size, but her appetite riveled that of two full grown men.

"Nonsense, Spencer. You're a guest in my home and the host pays," Ashley said, waving a dismissive hand in the air.

"Well, thank you anyway," Spencer said.

He and Ashley had been hanging out for two hours and he was already find of her. He loved her kooky, no holds bar personality, and was glad Lila had her in her life. He reasoned Ashley was probably one of the main reasons why Lila hadn't done herself in. He reached over to take a sip of water and Ashley leaned back, stetching out her legs. She laughed suddenly, feeling inspired.

"Do you have something to share with the class?" Spencer asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I just had a really fun idea for how we can get to know each other," Ashley said, a mischievious smile slowly spreading across her face.

"What do you have in mind?" Spencer asked, feeling a little nervous.

"Have you ever heard of a game called 'have you ever'?" she asked.

"Umm, no," Spencer said, having the feeling that this wasn't going to end well.

"It's a game in which a group of people ask each other questions and if you've done what the person has asked, you must take a shot of alcohol," Ashley explained, getting up to retrieve her shot glasses.

"Two people is hardly a group and I don't want to be drunk for tonight, or hung over for tomorrow," Spencer protested.

"Then we'll improvise," Ashley said. She was still in the kitchen and Spencer heard what sounded like the coffee machine. He looked in the direction of the room with curiousity until Ashley returned minutes later, carrying the glasses along with a case of Redbull.

"Redbull?" Spencer asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Better to have wings than a hang over," Ashley said with a shrug, setting the items on the table. She opened a can and poured the contents into two glasses.

"Wings?" Spencer asked, never having heard the famous Redbull slogan.

"Nevermind," Ashley said, reaching over for a nearby notebook and pen.

Ashley opened the notebook and divided the page into two columns, writing his name on one side and hers on the other.

"How this will work is I'll just keep track of how many shots each of us takes. Who ever has had the most shots by the time we finish the case will be deemed the drunkest."

"Sounds simple enough," Spencer replied.

"Alright, since you are the guest, you start. Ask me something," Ashley said.

"Did you know aluminum is a silvery white and ductile member of the boron group of chemical elements?" Spencer asked, picking up a can of Red Bull, studying the can. "Its symbol is Al and its atomic number is 13. Aluminum..."

"No, you goober!" Ashley said, laughing as she shook her head. "I meant something dirty!"

"Dirty?" Spencer asked, looking puzzled and uncomfortable.

"You know, dirty, nasty, filthy, perverted, sexual in nature...."

"But why would I want to do that? You're my girlfriend's little sister."

"Because that's how the game works, silly. Besides, Lily and I have played this game many times and we've always had fun."

Spencer's face melted at the mention of Lila's name and Ashley used that opportunity to take over. "Alright, I'll start. Have you ever.....had sex in public?"

Spencer's face turned beat red, but he wanted to make a good impression on Ashley, so he decided to play along. "Y...yes..." Spencer hedged, not usually being the type to kiss and tell, not that he had ever had anything to tell before.

"Then take a drink silly!" Ashley exclaimed, taking a shot herself.

"Yes ma'am," Spencer replied, placating her by doing just that.

Ashley gave them each a point and Spencer pondered what he was going to ask her. Finally he looked over at her and asked,

"Have you ever...played a sex game with your sister's boyfriend?"

Ashley laughed, delighted by Spencer's mischieviousness. She took a shot, gave herself a point and asked the next question.

"Have you ever...done the shocker?"

"What's that?" Spencer asked, looking confused.

"When the pointer and middle finger are inserted into a woman's vagina while the pinkie is inserted in the anus. You know, 'two in the pink, one in the stink'," Ashley said as casually as she would mention the score of a Knick's game or the weather for the weekend.

"Oh....." Spencer said before taking a shot. Ashley did as well and Spencer gave her a surprised look.

"Who hasn't experimented in college?" She asked rhetorically.

Spencer simply shook his head and they went back and forth until the twenty-four case of Reb Bull was gone. Ashley tallied up the votes and to no one's surprise, she was deemed the "drunkest" of them all. Spencer did garner some satisfaction in the knowledge that he wasn't too far behind, silently thanking Lila for his little victory. Ashley suddenly jumped on the couch, dancing around in a goofy fashion. Spencer just watched her, wondering what the world would come to if Ashley, Zoey, and Garcia were ever in the same room together. Ashley noticed Spencer looked at her and she simply grinned.

"If I'm going to be drunk I may as well act like it," she said. After a few moments, she jumped off the couch, that same inspired look in her eyes. She raced over to the phone.

"What are you doing?" Spencer asked, rising to his feet.

"Don't tell me you've never drunk dialed anyone before," Ashley said, looking dumbdtruck. Spencer remained silent and Ashley rethought her statement. "oh right, of course you haven't. Drunk dialing is prank calling someone after you've had too much to drink."

"Prank calls are against the law you know," Spencer said.

"Only if you get caught," Ashley said, giving him a 'duh' expression. "besides, that's what *67 was invented for."

"*67?" Spencer asked, looking confused.

"Shh!" Ashley hissed as she finished dialing. She put the phone on loud speaker and waited for someone to pick up.

"Hello?" the voice on the other end said. The person sounded like an elderly gentleman.

"Oh yeah! Hump me daddy!" Ashley shrieked, slapping Spencer hard on the ass.

"Ow! That's my butt!" Spencer exclaimed, jumping back.

"Oh yeah, you like it rough, don't you daddy?" Ashley said, her eyes glimmering with amusement.

"Ashley, please don't call me daddy."

"Dude! The first rule of prank calls is you never use real names!" Ashley exclaimed.

"Who is this?" the person asked, sounding perplexed.

"Two hot bitches!" Ashley cackled, reaching out the slap Spencer's ass again. Since he was anticipating the move, Spencer jumped out of the way, causing Ashley to over-extend her arm and fall over.

"Hello?" the person asked. "what's going on over there?"

"We're being rough and hot," Spencer said, getting into it more and more.

"Wanna join?" Ashley asked the put-upon elderly woman, who promptly hung up.

Spencer and Ashley looked at each other and dissolved into fits of laughter. They sunk to the floor, letting the mirth take over. Once they were able to control themselves, they looked at each other with mutual understanding. They both made a dive for the phone, spending the afternoon getting to know each other better and harassing the citizens of the great state of New York.