"All right, Rory," Daniel said, putting Rory's chart down. "I'm gonna ask you a couple questions and you, you need to do your best to give me a straight answer no matter how you think I'm gonna like it. We clear?"
"It wasn't drugs," Rory said. Daniel gave him what he thought was an aggravated look. He said, "Come on dude, I know that's what you're thinking. Rory's nothing but the bad influence that gets JJ and all the other cool kids in trouble. Not this time, man, not this time."
"For the record," Daniel said, pulling the chair up close to Rory and sitting down, "this isn't about judging you. The only thing, Rory, the only thing I'm trying to do is find out is what's wrong medically so that you can live another day without the aid of these machines. Cool?"
Rory's eyes widened but he nodded.
"You remember anything about your accident?" Daniel's voice was soft. Rory looked puzzled and Daniel said, "The cops found you passed out in your car. So you were driving somewhere - remember where you were going?"
Rory thought. He remembered Kurt passed out on the couch and looking through the cabinets for food… was that yesterday? Or was that the day he got that letter? "It's all, like, fuzzy, and not good fuzzy either." Daniel nodded. "There was no food, dude," he said. "I… I had to drive…" He squinted, trying to remember more. "The rest's gone."
"It's all right. It might come back later, it might not. You remember by any chance the last time you ate something?"
"Dude, I don't even know what day it is. How you expect me to remember that?"
"The day before your accident, that was Fall Festival. You eat anything there?"
Rory squinted again. His memories were all distorted, like watching himself through water. He remembered leaning on Kurt, Kurt saying he'd get him some food, but even that sounded distorted in his head, like Kurt's voice was on slow speed or something. "Kurt was gonna get me something but I dunno if he showed."
Daniel glanced down at his chart. His voice was very soft as he said, "Sounds like you've been on the all alcohol diet for a while, man. Kurt get you started on that?"
Rory's eyes narrowed. "You putting my brother down, dude?"
"No, man. I don't… I don't even know him, Rory. Just trying to get a full picture of what happened to you, that's all."
Just then, the door opened again and Kayla came in. "Rory," she said, "I'm - " She glanced at Daniel. "Oh. I didn't realize you felt up to seeing patients yet."
"Just looking in on this one."
Kayla frowned. "I'll take it from here. Go look in on Parker."
Daniel locked eyes with her, but then he stood. "He's all yours." He glanced at Rory. " You be as straight with Dr. Brady as you were with me, all right?"
Rory looked confused. "Bet you're relieved, huh?" he said. "Now you did your good deed or whatever and you can wash your hands of me."
Daniel shook his head. "It's not that at all. I might have stopped in here cause JJ, he asked me to, but this… this isn't a charity thing. I have a little boy, Rory, a little boy who is as sick as you are right now, and every minute I don't spend with him is a minute I might regret later. But that doesn't, Rory, that doesn't mean I'm not going to help as much as I can. Now I have an idea what's going on with you, an idea that I'm going to talk to Dr. Brady about and if you do your part, you, you are going to be , Rory, this is the second chance you keep thinking no one's ever gonna give you. You got people pulling for you, but what you do with it… that's up to you, man." He gave Rory a look. Rory looked away from him, biting his lip.
Daniel turned towards Kayla and said, "If you haven't already, check his magnesium levels. I got a feeling the drinking, it's been masking something else." He put his stethoscope around his neck and walked off as Kayla sat down in the chair he'd just gotten out of.
"Y-you look great," JJ stammered. He was standing by his seat, his heart beating fast, trying to ignore the movie in his head of Paige jumping into his arms and kissing him hard, then apologizing in that that adorably shy way she had for being so forward.
"Y-you too." Paige's voice was also soft. "Um, you can sit down if you want."
"Right." JJ laughed nervously. "Uh," he said, pulling out the chair, "you want anything? I'll treat. I got my wallet this time."
Paige smiled but she said, "All I want's just to talk."
JJ nodded. His heart beat fast and his arm started bothering him, just a little bit, as he sat down. He saw the concern in Paige's eyes as he rubbed it. He stopped and said, "I'm okay. I swear."
"Good. I was worried." Paige pushed her hair behind her ear. "Um," she said after an uncomfortable silence. "On second thought, maybe we should get coffee first. "
JJ nodded. "Iced mocha with whipped cream and caramel, right?" he asked, his voice strained.
Paige smiled slightly. "You remembered."
"O-of course I did. I couldn't forget anything about you." JJ smiled back at Paige. She pushed her hair behind her ear again and he said, "Be right back."
There was no line up front. JJ was glad. He ordered the coffees and turned to look at Paige while he waited. She was looking at a notebook or something and he couldn't figure out what she was thinking. He shook his head, suddenly feeling stupid to have been so hopeful. But she wouldn't have got all dressed up just to break his heart all over again, would she? The barista called his name and he took the drinks and walked slowly back towards Paige's table.
Aiden had been looking at the electronic arrest report Roman had sent him, but he quickly minimized his screen when his next client came in. Locking his computer, he stood up and glanced at the client. The man was put together - too put together, Aiden thought, with a neatly trimmed beard and a dark suit and tie. "Mr. Brewster," Aiden said, extending his hand. "Aiden Jennings. What can I do for you?"
Mr. Brewster didn't answer right away. Instead, his eyes flitted around the room like he was nervous, landing on a photo on the bookcase of Hope and Aiden with the kids. "That your wife and kids?" he asked. "Good looking family if they are."
Aiden got up and turned the photo around. "Let's not get distracted," he said. "I assume you came to me with some legal problem, and we're both busy men without time to waste. So let's talk about what you came to talk about."
"Of course." Mr. Brewster's hand went to his shirttail, resting on the butt of the gun that Aiden thought he saw underneath it. "I guess I should start with who I am," he said. "You see, Mr. Jennings, I'm a protector. Protective of my family, of the people I love. I'm sure you understand."
"I think so." Aiden glanced at his landline, then at Mr. Brewster. "Where's this leading?"
"I'm getting to that. I guess you can see I have a gun. I carry it for protection. It's all legal, registered and all that. The thing is, I also have a little girl, probably a little younger than your kids. I try to be careful, keep the ammo separate from the gun when it's at home in case she gets her hands on it, you know. But the thing is this. My wife is… well, she's not always all the way there, if you know what I mean."
"What are we talking about here? Mental illness?"
"I guess you could say that. She's a drunk. My worst fear, Mr. Jennings, is that she could hurt my beautiful little girl."
Aiden paled slightly. Straightening his tie, he said, "I'm afraid I'm not a family attorney, Mr. Brewster. If you're looking to get a divorce I'll have to refer you elsewhere."
"Not a divorce. No. I love my wife despite her problems. It's just, if she hurts my little girl, well, I'll have to take action, and in that case, I'm sure to need a criminal attorney. After all, the husband is always the first suspect, if you know what I mean." He locked eyes with Aiden. "You do, don't you? You'd do anything for those children, especially that little boy that looks just like you, wouldn't you?"
Aiden bit his lip. "Do you have a criminal matter to discuss with me or not?"
"Not yet," Mr. Brewster said, "but I might, later on. Right now I'm still considering my options. I wanted to see what you were made of because I might need you, later."
Aiden's phone alarm rang just then. He could feel Mr. Brewster's eyes on him as he turned it off. "I'm afraid I have to step out for a bit," he said. "We'll talk when you're ready to retain my services."
"Of course," Mr. Brewster said. "I have a feeling it'll be any day now." He walked out.
Aiden took a deep breath as the door closed behind the guy. He picked up his phone and made a call. "Hope?" he said, speaking in a low voice. "Listen, I'm running behind. I had a surprise client and um, I might not make it in time to get the kids from school. You, uh, is there any way you can get away? Oh. Right. No, I'll just call and let St. Lukes know I'm on my way so they don't panic. No, no I'm fine. Love you too."
Aiden hung up. He immediately texted Hope:
Couldnt talk openly in office. I will explain l8r I promise. Pls dont worry, just taking precautions that's all.
As he put his coat on and walked out, he saw Mr. Brewster standing by the receptionist's desk, texting someone. Their eyes met and then Mr. Brewster walked away. Aiden waited for him to go before going up to his receptionist. "That guy bothering you?" he asked in a low voice.
She shook her head.
Aiden nodded. "I don't want him as a client," he whispered. "Something's off about him." He looked over his shoulder to make sure Mr. Brewster was gone. "I gotta pick up my son from school. That guy comes back, now or any other time, as soon as he can't see what you're doing, you call Hope for me and tell her to come down here on official police business."
"You want me to call her now?"
Aiden shook his head. "He hasn't done anything yet. Let's not stir the hornet's nest til I know he's up to something."
Hope glanced at Aiden's text for the fifth time since she'd got it. "All right, Mr. Jennings," she said under her breath. "Was telling me you can't talk an effort to reassure me you're not keeping secrets or were you trying to tell me you need me to make a surprise visit to your office with some uniforms in tow?" She pulled her gun out of her drawer and loaded it, then put it in her holster. "Better safe than sorry."
Just then, Roman stuck his head into her doorway and said, "Hope. Before you rush off anywhere I need to see you in my office."
Hope's eyes narrowed and she said, "Can it wait til I get back? I'm about to do a welfare check and time is of the essence."
Roman frowned. ""What's going on?"
Hope practically shoved the phone in his face. "This. Aiden called to say he'd be a little late picking up the kids from school and then he sent me this text. My gut says something happened at his office this afternoon, and after the way we dropped the ball on the Larson kidnapping I can't risk… I keep seeing some client holding him at gunpoint, forcing him to make that call and I can't let that happen to him, not when he's dating a detective who's less than a mile away with a fully loaded weapon."
"Calm down," Roman told her. "Think a minute, Hope. If he was being held by a gunman or anyone else, he wouldn't have been able to shoot you that text. Tell you what, though. Call the school. Find out if Aiden made it down. If for any reason he didn't, I'll sneak Rafe out to make sure those kids are safe while you deal with what's going on with Aiden."
Hope nodded. She called St. Lukes, her free hand on the butt of her gun. "This… this is Hope Brady. Is my daughter still there? Oh, he did. Good. No, that's not necessary. Thank you." She got off the phone and held it close to her chest, taking a deep breath. "Aiden just picked them up," she told Roman. "Sorry about panicking. I should have known better but - "
"Nah. Aiden might have screwed us over with this lawsuit but he's still family, and so are you." Roman put his hand on Hope's shoulder. "Let's get this meeting over with, all right?"
Hope followed Roman into his office. DA Rubin was sitting in one of the extra chairs facing Roman's desk. She stood and faced Hope as she came in. "Detective Brady. I'm glad to see that you finally decided to join us."
"What do you need, Lindsey?"
"For you to treat me with respect, for one thing." Rubin glanced at Roman. "But that's for the commissioner to deal with. Right now we have bigger problems." She handed Hope a copy of the subpoena. "Your boyfriend's representing some punk kid who wants to sue the department for trying to get him off the streets, and on top of that I heard rumors that he's also helping represent Beverly Walters. All of which leads me to wonder, Detective Brady, given your relationship with Aiden Jennings… whose side are you really on?"
JJ watched Paige push her straw into the center of her coffee lid."You gonna say something?" he asked. "Cause I… the silence is killing me, Paige, and I can't stand us being awkward like this. I know it's been a long time since we actually both wanted to be together but I guess I hoped we'd get back to where we were."
"I… this was so much easier in my head, you know?"
"Yeah." JJ's voice was flat. "Just go for it, Paige. I… whatever you have to say, it can't hurt any more than anything you've already done to me, okay?"
"I don't want to hurt you." Paige played with her ring. "It's kind of the opposite, actually. JJ, what I wanted to say was that you were so right and I was… I was so very very wrong about a lot of things, about everything really. I listened to too many people about you, about us. No wonder eventually you cheated on me. I kept waiting for it to happen and every time you even smiled at another girl I went crazy thinking you were going to leave me like my dad left my mom. I took psychology, JJ. I know what all the insecurity and false accusations did to you. So you giving in wasn't all your fault."
JJ's arm throbbed. He rubbed it as hard as he could. "Really, Paige? You supposedly get it now but you still think I cheated on you?" His voice wavered and he said, "I... I wanna be with you so bad it hurts all the time, like worse than this freaking constant pain in my arm. But as long as you still actually believe that I got drunk and slept with Jill, I… I dunno how I can."
Paige's eyes widened. "I was trying to say it doesn't matter anymore. I… honestly it hasn't mattered for a while, not since the night you saved my life."
"But at the hospital you said - "
"I know what I said." Paige's voice had that edge to it that JJ had hoped never to hear again. "I lied, JJ, okay? I lied to you and even worse, I lied to myself. I've been lying to myself since Jill or whatever happened. Yes, it hurt that you cheated on me, or that I thought you did, anyway. It didn't make sense and I wanted to believe you when you said you were drugged, but the only thing I knew about drugs is that addicts lie and that you used to be one. So I cut myself off from you to protect myself, because I thought I was going to have to watch you go further and further down a dark path and it… it was too much. But then when Jeff kidnapped me, he kept going on and on about you and how he was going to get you. He forced two or three beers down my throat and made me talk about you. But - "
"That bastard!" JJ's face was grim and he was hitting his good fist against the palm of his other hand. "He's lucky he's dead cause if I'd known what he did to you, I'd've killed him myself. He'd better not have left you craving that stuff."
"Don't worry. He made me so sick I was grateful to be able to eat real food. He probably did me a favor. I'm never going to touch alcohol, ever, thanks to him." JJ nodded and Paige said, "Anyway, I never expected to see you again, ever, and it threw me off when you came to try to rescue me. I mean, I didn't think you really loved me cause of Jill, and there you were ready to let him do whatever he wanted to you if it meant he'd let me go." She shook her head. "I couldn't… nothing made sense, JJ, and by the time I was safe in the hospital the only thing I could think was I didn't deserve you."
"Why?" JJ asked. "Paige, you're the one who's too good for me, not the other way around."
"That is so not true." Paige swallowed hard. "I was a mess because of Jeff, okay, JJ, and I didn't see why you'd want someone as broken as me. I didn't want to drag you down with me so I… I decided right then and there, even before you came to visit, that I had to push you away for your own good." Tears rolled down Paige's face. "I know now I've been stupid, so stupid. I let so many people's voices into my head that I couldn't hear myself think, and all of them said horrible things about you that made me think you were a cheater and a liar and that you only saved my life so that you could manipulate me into taking you back. And it took Daphne opening her big mouth to the cops - "
"Daphne? Seriously?" JJ's eyes flashed. "That freaking bitch!"
Paige flinched but she recovered, touching JJ's wrist. "Don't," she said. "She's going to pay for what she did to you. I promise. I'm done with her forever and that's only the beginning."
JJ nodded. His jaw was set and he had a grim expression on his face, but he took a couple of deep breaths, trying to get back in control of himself. Paige said, "Anyway, I don't want to waste any more breath on her. I want… I want to talk about us, about where we go from here." She played with the top of her straw, nervously. "I mean, if you still want there to be an us. I pushed you away so many times that I totally understand if you've moved on."
JJ shook his head. "I haven't. Not really." He blinked hard to stop the memory of kissing Marissa from flashing through his head. "Look, Paige, we got a lot to work through, okay, but no way am I bailing now. I can't, not even after what you did to me. I hate that all someone had to do was feed you a bunch of lies about me and you were gone.. Half of Salem thinks I'm a liar and a loser, okay, but you... You. know. me, Paige. You know me. You know that if I really got drunk and cheated on you, I'd be so freaking overcome with guilt I dunno how I'd go on, especially if me screwing up broke your heart on top of breaking my mom's, but you believed everyone else's crap anyway. I needed you, Paige, I needed you to be the one person who - " JJ's arm hurt so bad that he gasped with pain. Paige watched him, worried, as he rubbed it, breathing hard. "I needed you," he said again when the pain passed, "to be the one person who saw more than my stupid freaking past when you looked at me, but the second Jill messed with me, you acted just like everyone else and assumed I was the one doing something wrong."
Paige blinked hard. "I'm so so sorry, JJ."
"Don't be." JJ's voice was strained. "Just… tell me you believe me. Please."
Paige was quiet for a second. Then she said, slowly, "I believe you." She swallowed hard. "I really am sorry. JJ, I've been telling myself you broke my heart but I'm starting to see that I'm the one who broke yours, more than once. I hurt you every time I gave you an angry look or a suspicious stare, every time I pushed you away, every time I told myself it was better for both of us if we never crossed paths again. And it took you getting arrested when all you did was try to protect me to wake me up. I was letting Jeff win in a thousand ways. I was letting him hurt us over and over like he wanted and I was freaking out all the time and ruining both our lives. So I called a therapist right away and I'm going to start right after Christmas. I want to get him out of my head, JJ, and everyone else too who thinks they know better than I do what's good for me. I'm… I want to put my life back together. I want to put me back together because all these other people's voices in my head are so loud that I don't know who I am anymore."
"I'm glad you're doing that. Really, I am." JJ's heart beat fast. Ignoring the pain in his arm, he asked, "Are you… do you want... " He swallowed hard. "Sorry for sounding stupid. I'm trying to ask you, are you saying you wanna start over with me?"
"You mean, like, be boyfriend and girlfriend again?"
JJ nodded.
Hope's eyes narrowed. "You're not seriously asking me if I'm loyal to this department because of who I'm choosing to share my life with. Let me make something clear to you, Lindsey. I don't intend to make a choice between Aiden and my job, but if you push this, I will, and it'll be your loss. I didn't become a cop just to arrest as many people as I could without blinking an eye. I became a cop because I believe in justice, in bad guys getting off the street and good ones getting a wake-up call. If that's not what the justice system in Salem is about anymore - "
"I think what Hope is trying to say," Roman interrupted, "is that we're all on the same side here."
"Are we?" Rubin crossed her arms. "I have an arrestee in a hospital bed when she should be in a jail cell, and I don't see either of you doing anything to change that. Do I need to call Tim Rodman in here to investigate the relationship between this officer and Ms. Walters' doctor? Does he need to take action to make sure that the two of them stop colluding to keep a criminal out of jail for as long as possible? And how about the relationship between Detective Brady and Aiden Jennings? Should I just take your word for it that she's not feeding him information about the case on the side, sabotaging our ability to secure a conviction against a girl who escalated from petty crimes and misdemeanors to helping kidnap and torture an innocent girl whose only crime was being too naive to realize who her enemies were?"
"Hold up a minute!" Roman said, jumping in before Hope could defend herself. Hope crossed her arms and glared at both of them. "Look, Lindsey, I'm as frustrated as you are that the Walters girl's not behind bars yet, but I'm not gonna stand here and listen to you throw around baseless accusations just cause you aren't getting your way fast enough. Now I will make sure that Beverly Walters gets released to our custody as soon as possible, but I will not make Hope's relationship with Aiden Jennings a sticking point when it comes to her job. I've already lost one of my best detectives to the nonsense coming from the capitol and I'm not about to lose another one. Are we clear?"
"As day. When you talk to your sister, Commissioner, you can tell her that if she doesn't provide the DA's office with proof that Beverly Walter's continued stay at the hospital is an absolute medical necessity, then we'll get an order to release the girl to our custody. And you," she added, glaring at Hope. "If I were you, I'd try to persuade your boyfriend to plead this one out. It doesn't look good for either of you to be defending this girl, and I'm sure he's more likely to listen to you than to us about it."
Hope's eyes were very narrow. "That," she said, "is up to him. I've never crossed the line when it comes to his cases and I'm not going to start now." She locked eyes with Lindsey, making it clear to her that she wasn't going to back down no matter what she tried to do.
Daniel stood in the doorway of Parker's room, his arms crossed. Chloe and Philip were talking quietly with Parker and he was giggling. He didn't seem like he missed Daniel one bit. Daniel picked up his phone, rereading JJ's text back and debating whether he'd been wrong to put his own son's needs over JJ's.
He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see Nicole was standing behind him. "Steeling yourself for Chloe's big news?" she asked.
Daniel nodded. Nicole saw his phone display out of the corner of her eye. "Don't worry about JJ. Sally and I have his back, and anyway I have inside information about what he's doing right now, and let's just say he needs some interruption-free time to focus on a certain someone. Let's go hear whatever Chloe has to say. It'll be all right and if it's not, two people crying together are better than one, right?"
"Yeah." Daniel's voice was flat. "I… Nicole, you ever think… maybe Parker'd rather be with Philip, maybe Chloe and I made a mistake putting that DNA test above the arrangement he had?"
Nicole reached for Daniel's hand. "He's your son," she said, squeezing it. "Now let's go in there before he forgets what you look like."
They walked in, slowly. Everyone's head turned as they did. Daniel made himself smile as he turned towards Parker and said, "Hey buddy! Look who followed me in here."
Parker clapped his hands. "Aunt Nik! Mommy and Daddy Phil have big news! They're getting married!"
"Parker!" Chloe said. "Didn't we talk about how Mommy and Da - " She glanced at Daniel. "and Philip needed to tell Daddy their news themselves?"
Parker blinked hard. "I forgot cause I was so excited!"
"Well, he knows now, so what difference does it make?" Nicole asked. "Does he have his story right? You two are getting married? When? Wait, no, don't tell me the details. It's bad luck or something. Unless you want me to be in the wedding."
"Nicole - " Chloe began.
"You're right. I should shut up. Let me just say one more thing. Congratulations!" Nicole hugged Chloe. She turned towards Philip. "I don't know if I should hug you, but Chloe's my best friend so that makes you family now. So what the hell." She hugged him too, then turned towards Daniel, who was frowning. "Your face is more suited for a funeral than a wedding," she told him. "Turn that frown upside down!"
Parker giggled but Daniel just sighed. Turning towards Chloe, he said, "I'm… if you're happy, Chloe, then I'm happy for you but right now, when we're all so vulnerable… are you sure…. are you sure this is what you want?"
Philip glared at him. "I think the word you're looking for is congratulations," he said coldly. "Come on, Daniel. I know the best we're ever going to have is a truce for Parker's sake. We're never going to be best friends and I'm cool with that, but don't rain on our parade like this. I'm sorry that when you and Chloe were together, she and I couldn't keep our hands off each other. But maybe if I'd had the courage to pursue her in the first place instead of worrying so damn much about what my father thought, you and your daughter wouldn't have gotten hurt. So stop acting all jealous when you don't even want her and be happy for us."
"It's not about that," Daniel said, "not by a long shot. It's just… with the timing and with…" He glanced at Parker. "With our history, I can't help thinking, Philip, that this isn't entirely about love, that this is some kind of power play so that you…. you can make it easier for you and Chloe to get full custody of him and cut me out altogether."
"You mean like the way you were so inclusive before he got sick? Didn't we agree we were going to put Parker's best interests above our opinions of each other? I'm a man of my word, Daniel, and I thought you were too. I guarantee you that he understands a lot more of what's going on here than you think, so you've got to stop this before he gets old enough to make his own decisions. Otherwise you will lose him, and you'll have no one to blame but yourself."
There was an awkward silence, then Nicole said softly, "He's right, Daniel. Look, you and Chloe figured out a long time ago how to get along for Parker's sake, right? So now you just have to figure it out all over again now that it's not just Chloe, it's Chloe and a guy that makes her incredibly happy. Look at Parker. Look how happy he is. You don't want to take that away from him, do you?"
Daniel's eyes narrowed but he glanced at Parker. Parker grinned at him and said, "Smile Daddy!"
"You're right.." Daniel tried to smile. He turned towards Philip. "Gimme a few minutes to absorb this, all right, and I'll… I'll try to come back with a better attitude. Nicole, you wanna -"
"Coming," Nicole said. She glanced at Chloe. "I'll be happy enough for you guys for both of us til he comes around." She hurried out of the room, following Daniel.
Philip squeezed Chloe's hand. "That went kind of how I expected," he said under his breath.
"Yeah." Chloe glanced at the doorway. "I'm not worried about him, not if he has Nicole to straighten him out." She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "One down, one to go. I hope when your father gets the news he doesn't arrange for the Titan jet to accidentally fall on me."
"Nah, he gave all that up a long time ago. My mother on the other hand… well, maybe she'd better be the last to know." Philip played with Chloe's fingers. "It doesn't matter, though. There's nothing anyone can do that'll make me change my mind about you. Not my father, not my mother, and certainly not Daniel. I love you and we're getting married and everyone's just going to have to deal with it."
Paige hesitated. JJ looked down at the table, sure she was going to say no. He automatically put his hand over the sore spot on his arm so that he could deal with the pain when it came. Paige said, ""I… um… look, we.. we have to take things slow, JJ, okay?"
"What does that mean?" JJ's chest felt heavy and he had a bad feeling about this.
Paige sighed. "I want there to be an us, obviously, or I wouldn't have asked you to come today. But I… I really shouldn't be in a relationship with anyone right now, you know? I see Jeff everywhere still, and I freak out if anyone gets too close or looks at me for too long. I… it's going to be a long time before you can hold me or touch me or kiss me, even though in my dreams lately that's all we do, because of him, because of what he did to me."
JJ's eyes filled with tears, and he couldn't tell if he was upset for what Paige had gone through or if he was being selfish and wanted her fully right now.. He swallowed hard as he looked up at Paige. "Can I take your hand?" he asked. Paige nodded. He was gentle as he took it and put it between both of his. "I love you, Paige, and I'll try as hard as I can to be patient while you're working through this stuff. Jeff messed us both up big time, okay, and I probably shouldn't even think about being in a relationship either til I get some things sorted out, but I don't wanna waste any more time trying to keep it together without you. I swear, if you'll let me be your boyfriend again, I'll do everything I can to support you and I'll do whatever it takes to make sure I'm 100% the kind of man you deserve." He picked up her hand and slowly brought it to his lips, kissing her fingers.
Paige blinked hard but JJ could see the tears in her eyes. He started to let go of her hand but she said, "Don't, JJ, please don't let go. Not yet."
"I won't." JJ's voice was soft.
Paige tried to smile. "I want to put us back together as badly as I want to put myself back together. But it's going to take time, a lot of time, if we want to last. I can't promise myself to you yet, because I can't promise yet that I'll be healthy enough to be what you need me to be. But I'd like to go on dates with you, real dates, and talk and have fun and do all those things people do when they're first meeting, like we're really starting over. Last time I went on a date with someone, I freaked out and ruined it, so even that may be too much, but I'd like to try. So if you can work on getting better too while you're waiting for me to be ready to be your girlfriend again, then we can go ice skating and for walks and all those romantic things that people do on dates. Okay?"
JJ looked down at the table. "I guess that's the best we can do, huh?" he said.
"For now." Paige's voice was very soft. "I hope you think I'm worth the wait."
"I… I do." JJ's heart beat fast. He was feeling the same intense longing he'd had for Paige for months and months and knowing he still had to wait was almost unbearable. His arm throbbed worse than ever, but even that was less bad than the pain of not being able to do more than hold Paige's hand so he ignored it.
Suddenly the memory of kissing Marissa flashed into JJ's head. He swallowed hard, wishing again he'd never gone there. He made himself look into Paige's eyes and smile at her while he reminded himself that that was over, that Paige was right here in front of him and that for the first time in forever things were starting to be right again.
Aiden had put some Christmas music on and was putting up Chase and Ciara's stockings when Hope got to his apartment. She looked around at the boxes and boxes of stuff. "I know what you're thinking," Aiden told her. "I went a little crazy, especially since we live in a tiny apartment with no yard. But you gotta understand, Hope, Chase's happiness means everything to me, and he's been deprived of so much. I'm probably gonna be paying back these joint credit cards Meredith maxed out til I'm old and gray and no matter how much I earn there's no catching up enough to be able to give him much of anything, especially not while sending him to private school instead of taking my chances with Salem Elementary. The only after school activities he gets are the free ones at the community center and when it comes to summer camp, forget it. Christmas is the only time of year I can be extravagant and not feel guiltier about it than I do about not being able to provide him with all the normal kid stuff and then some."
Hope patted Aiden's shoulder. "Chase knows you love him, and that's more important than any material thing." Aiden nodded. "By the way," Hope said, "you never did tell me what happened yesterday."
Aiden looked upset. "It was probably nothing, just a guy showed up with some story that sounded so much like me and Meredith that it kinda spooked me. I was probably overreacting but the first thing he did was take a look at our family photo and with this big lawsuit coming up against some officers who I don't think hold nearly the same ethics you do, I figured I couldn't be too careful. I'm not taking him on as a client and I told Lisa that if he shows up again to call you, but like I said, I'm just being extra cautious. Anyway, whoever that guy was, he's not hanging around us today, so let's just forget him for now."
"You up to giving me a description? We could run him through some databases, make sure he's on the up and up."
Aiden hesitated. "I don't wanna waste time with him today. All I can tell you is, he said his name was Paul Brewster, but that's probably an alias. He didn't make any secret out of the fact he was carrying, either. He said his gun was registered to him, so you can start there, I guess." He could see the fear in Hope's eyes. "Nothing's gonna happen to me or to our family. I promise. Come on, baby, let's forget about him. It's Christmas and he's not any closer to hurting us than he was before, so let's just put him out of our minds for now, all right?"
"All right," Hope said, "but first thing tomorrow I want a description."
Aiden nodded. He turned away to open a box, and Hope thought he was still upset, but he just picked up a set of white lights. "Let's hang these over the mantel first, make it look at least a little festive in here."
He handed the lights to Hope. The wire was twisted and knotted together. "You're going to owe me for untangling these," she said.
Aiden smiled mischievously. "I can start by pointing out, Detective Brady, that despite your keen observational skills you failed to notice that you're standing right under the mistletoe."
"Am I?" Hope feigned ignorance.
"I think the evidence is pretty clear." Aiden gestured towards the mistletoe. As he leaned forward to kiss Hope, his radio began playing I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus. "I'm glad your cousin was willing to take the kids early so we don't have to worry about that," he mumbled as he kissed her, running his hands through her hair.
The Horton living room was already full of people. Sonny had come with his little girl and he and Rafe were playing with her on the living room floor with a stuffed Santa Claus doll, Abigail and Ben were on the couch talking quietly, Lucas was helping Jen put snacks out on the coffee table, and Adrienne was standing in a corner and admiring the tree.
JJ could hear all the conversations downstairs from his room. As the doorbell rang again, he stared at the bracelet he had bought for Paige. It had butterflies and yellow flowers painted onto a silver circle and he had spent the last of his money on getting it engraved for her. He hoped the design wasn't too childish and beneath her, but it was too late now.
Downstairs, Jennifer hurried to open the door. Julie and Doug came in with Ciara and Chase. "Merry Christmas!" Julie said as she took off her blue-green scarf. "I hope you have something planned to keep these children occupied until their parents get here, because they are wearing us out."
"I'm afraid that's my fault," Doug said. "I sneaked them both a little Christmas candy."
Jennifer laughed. "Well, come in and we'll see what we can do. Who wants to help me make a batch of Great Grandma Alice's donuts?"
"Not me!" Chase said. "That's for girls."
"That's not true, sweetheart," Jennifer told him. "It's for anyone who wants to remember her. She was my grandmother, and Hope's and Julie's too, and she would have loved to have been here and welcomed you to our family."
"Oh, I know she would have," Julie said. "Grandma loved nothing more than to watch her family grow. You could never have too much love as far as she was concerned. Well, Ciara Alice, how about you go in the kitchen with us ladies and we'll leave the men to entertain Chase."
"Only if I get to lick the spoon twice since Chase doesn't want to get anywhere near the batter. Otherwise I'll stay here and tell him which football team to bet on."
"Tell you what. How about I bribe you with a story from when it was my turn to be the holy terror of the Horton family?"
"Only if its a good one," Ciara said, "and one I haven't heard before." But she followed Julie into the kitchen.
"JJ!" Jennifer called up the steps as she headed that way herself. "Company's here, sweetheart; hurry up and finish whatever it is you're doing up there so you can join us."
JJ sighed deeply. As he came to the top of the stairs, he remembered playing SIlent Night on the guitar last Christmas and Julie saying, "Where have you been hiding all that talent? Play another one and Doug'll sing along." His arm throbbed now, reminding him that he wasn't going to get any of Julie's rare compliments this year. He rubbed it before heading downstairs.
Chase was tiptoeing towards JJ's guitar.
"Hey!" JJ said, ignoring the pain in his arm as best as he could. "What do you think you're doing?"
Chase flinched. "I wasn't gonna steal it, I swear. I just wanted to try it." He turned towards JJ, his eyes wide. "I wanna learn to play so bad but my dad said no. He said lessons cost too much even though he makes like a million dollars a day. He never wants to get me anything."
JJ stared at him, thinking, remembering the Christmas he was six.
A little before Christmas, JJ's teacher got sick of his constant misbehavior and sent a note home saying he was disruptive and uncooperative and talked back when he was told to do something he did not want to do. When Jack came home that night, there was no twinkle in his eye and he told JJ in a quiet voice that he was disappointed in his behavior. "It would be different," his dad said, "if you were left in the woods to be raised by wolves and never got the opportunity to be loved and to be taught right from wrong, but you are lucky enough to have two parents who love you very much and who teach you every day the right way to behave. Now you've upset your teacher and hurt her feelings, JJ, and you've made it hard for her to teach you everything you need to know to succeed in first grade."
JJ stared down at his blanket. His dad said that he didn't know whether Santa would bring JJ more than a tiny little present this year because he wasn't even trying to behave. But then he said, softly, "The good news is that there's still time, son. Your teacher has very graciously agreed to give us a daily report about your behavior and for every day that you get a good one you'll earn back a present or two. And if you're exceptionally good… well, I don't want to speak for Santa but you just might find that guitar you've been begging us for under the tree on Christmas morning."
So JJ tried really hard and the teacher started smiling and saying she was proud of him when she wrote his note every day. But when Christmas came, he was in such a hurry to see if he got his guitar that he elbowed Abigail to get her out of his way and didn't want to waste time apologizing. His dad was standing next to his mom drinking his coffee and he saw the whole thing and said, "I dunno… do you think we should call Santa and tell him to take all of JJ's presents back and give him a year's supply of coal instead?" So JJ said sorry and Abigail said, "You're forgiven, this time." and his mom said that nobody was opening presents if they weren't going to be nice to each other.
"Now," his dad said after Abigail had mumbled an apology too. "Let's get started before you two lose your Christmas spirit again." JJ opened his presents, all of them, but there was no guitar, just a book with a picture of a guitar on it. But then his dad said, "Oh, wait a second, I forgot. Santa had one more present for you that didn't fit under the tree. Come here, son, and let's see what it is." And JJ knew what it was before he even opened it and he ripped off the paper, grinning, and found a real guitar in a case and a card his dad said was from Santa, saying that he would get lessons after school every Wednesday and that Santa hoped he would keep being good so that he wouldn't have to miss any.
JJ's arm hurt like hell now. As he rubbed it, he said to Chase, "Look, I can't play right now, okay, cause of my arm being messed up, but I'm gonna do what I gotta to get it fixed and as soon as I do, I'll teach you everything you wanna know and your dad won't have to pay a penny."
Aiden and Hope came in just then and Aiden came over. "Dad!" Chase said. "JJ's gonna teach me guitar for free. He said."
"You sure?" Aiden said to JJ. "I don't feel right not giving you anything."
"Dude," JJ said. "You've done so much for me, it's the least I can do. If it wasn't for you I wouldn't even be here to offer. I'm just sorry he's gonna have to wait a while to get started cause of my stupid arm."
"He'll live," Aiden said, and told Chase to thank JJ. Chase suddenly threw his arms around JJ and hugged him. JJ was totally unprepared and didn't know how to respond. He hugged Chase back, a lot more gently than Chase was doing, and said, "Merry Christmas."
In the kitchen, Jennifer had put Ciara to work mixing ingredients while she prepared a baking sheet, spraying it with vegetable spray. Julie said, "Now what would Grandma say, seeing you use that healthy cooking spray instead of all that glorious oil she used to use?"
Jennifer smiled. "I think she'd be so happy to see all the new additions to our family she wouldn't care." She glanced at Ciara. "Slow down a little, honey. We don't want the batter to get too stiff." Ciara looked like she was about to make a snarky comment, but instead just flipped her hair over her shoulder with her free hand and kept stirring the way she wanted to.
Jen took off her bracelet so that she could help Ciara without getting it dirty. Putting it on the counter next to the sink, she said, "Like this, sweetheart," and put her hand over Ciara's to help her stir properly.
"I miss Grandma, and Grandpa Tom too, the most this time of year," Julie said. "Christmas was really their holiday, their time to celebrate how much they loved all of us. No matter how old and sick they got, they weren't going to give up hosting it. I sometimes think Grandpa held on for that last little bit just so he could have one last Christmas with all of us." She walked over to the kitchen door and opened it a crack, looking out. "Look at all the people here, people they never had the chance to meet, people we never imagined would be part of our family and make us all so happy. This is for you, Grandma! I hope you're smiling down on us from heaven, because no matter how large and amazing our family gets, it just isn't the same without you."
Jennifer put her hand on Julie's shoulder. "I miss them too, especially Gran. There's been so many times this past year I wished she was here. She'd know just what to say to JJ while he's going through this rough patch, and to me too." Julie looked worried and Jennifer said, "He's having such a hard time with his arm injury. He tries, you know, to just keep moving forward, he really does. But lately he just seems so sad and angry and I can't… most of the time he won't say a word to me. He needs his father. Jack had a way with him. Maybe because he was a man, or because he was a lot more easygoing than I am. All I know is, it breaks my heart to see my son suffering and not be able to do a thing to help him."
"Well, I think there's something we may be able to do today for him." Julie glanced at Ciara, who was absorbed in stirring the batter, and whispered to Jennifer, "Here's what I think we should do."
In the living room, JJ sat on the couch rubbing his arm and hoping the pain went away soon so he could go back to trying to enjoy himself.
"Well, hello there young man," Doug said, coming over. "I knew there was someone I didn't say hi to yet."
"Hey Doug," JJ said flatly. He pulled out his phone and checked it for texts. Paige had sent him a Merry Christmas sticker that morning but nothing since. He started to text her something, then erased it. Doug was looking at him, so he put the phone away.
"I bet I know what you need," Doug said. "See, a little bird told me that you're pretty down in the dumps about not being able to play your guitar for us this year."
"A bird named Julie?" JJ was getting annoyed.
"Well… maybe. That's not what's important. The important thing, JJ, is that even though you might not be able to play, you still have a voice, and there's nothing like singing to help lift the spirits, especially this time of year." Barely waiting for an answer, he said, "Well, I'm going to sing anyway. You can join in if you want." He started:
Said the night wind to the little lamb,
Do you see what I see
Way up in the sky, little lamb,
Do you see what I see?
JJ decided to join in after all, starting from the beginning to create a round as Doug went on singing. Chase stopped what he was doing and came over too. Doug finished the line he was singing and said, "You too, young man. The more the merrier." Sonny came over with little Ari and joined in for the last verse as her eyes began to close:
Said the king to the people everywhere,
Listen to what I say
Pray for peace, people everywhere!
Listen to what I say
The Child, the Child, sleeping in the night
He will bring us goodness and light
He will bring us goodness and light.
The children were already gathered on the rug in the hospital day room, but Victor was in the small conference room, talking to Maggie, who was dressed as an elf. "Is this ridiculous costume really necessary?" Victor asked as Maggie handed him a pair of red pants. "Certainly the children can have just as meaningful an experience hearing the story from a normal looking person. In fact, I suspect when I stroll into the room dressed as Santa Claus, the ones who aren't crying are going to cower in fear. I mean, I'm neither fat nor jolly so how can they be gullible enough to believe for a moment that I'm actually St. Nicholas?"
"I think I ordered the wrong costume," Maggie said. "Apparently you'd rather play Scrooge than Santa. Come on, Victor. You've donated a lot of money to the children's ward in Parker's name this Christmas, but that's not the only way to show them you care. For many of these children, Christmas is miserable because they're struggling to breathe or live without pain or whatever their problem is. Fifteen minutes of Santa will make a world of difference, even if it is the grouchiest Santa in the world. Now do I have to go out there and read them that story by myself or are you going to get dressed?"
"You're lucky that I love you," Victor said, taking the costume. "Make sure Eric Brady gets the message to take today off from taking embarrassing photographs of hospital benefactors. I'd never live this down if our Hong Kong interests saw the owner of Titan pretending to be a loveable toymaker."
"Don't worry," Maggie said. "The only one who'll know who you are is Parker, and he's far too young to blackmail you yet."
Victor got changed, grumbling the whole time, and then they went out to the day room. Parker was sitting near the front of the rug. He grinned broadly and said, "Grandpa!" Victor said under his breath to Maggie, "You were saying?"
"Boys and girls," Maggie said, taking her seat, "we have a very special treat for you. Santa Claus and I know how very hard it is to be in the hospital at Christmas time, and later Santa has a gift for each of you brave boys and girls. But first, we want to tell you a very special story. It's a story that took place a long, long time ago, and without it, we wouldn't have any Christmas, or Santa, or presents." She put on her reading glasses and picked up the book, beginning to read.
She gave birth to her first child, a son. She wrapped him snuggly in clothes and laid him in a manger because there was no room for him in the village inn…
As Maggie read this part of the story, the worship room at St. Lukes' Church was filling up. Marlena slid in next to Eric and he smiled at her and took her hand, leaning over to whisper something. She smiled at him and patted his hand. As the processional came in, Eve came into the church and stood at the back, looking for a seat. Eric could feel her eyes on him; he turned and looked at her, raising his eyebrows, then looked away as Roman and Caroline slid in to the pew next to Marlena. Eve blinked back tears as Father Louis came up to the altar and made the sign of the cross.
Back in the hospital, Maggie kept reading, telling the children about the angel that appeared to the shepherds. "'Don't be afraid,' he said. 'I bring you good news of great joy for everyone!'" Parker turned and smiled at Chloe and Philip, who were standing in the back, holding hands, and started to say something, but Chloe put her finger on her lips. As Maggie went on, she looked out not just at the children, but at the adults standing there. Maxine was standing just behind the kids with Marissa, and Rory was on Maxine's other side in a wheelchair. As Maggie finished, "Glory on Earth to the highest heaven, and peace on Earth to all whom God favors," Nicole, who was standing with Daniel at the back of the room, took his hand and whispered, "Merry Christmas."
Kayla came up to Daniel and Nicole as Maggie closed the book and said, "In a minute it'll be time for you to go back to your rooms, but first Santa has a special gift for each of you." Maggie gestured towards Victor, who reluctantly got up and walked onto the rug, handing out get-well bears wearing Santa hats. Kayla beckoned to Philip and Chloe and they came closer. After Kayla said a few words to them, Philip and Chloe hugged and so did Daniel and Nicole. Kayla went over to the rug and took Parker by the hand and brought him over and Daniel picked him up and held him tight.
Jennifer, Julie and Ciara came into the living room, each carefully holding a plate of donuts. As Jennifer put her plate down, she said, "It's time for my favorite part of Christmas. We're going to hang the ornaments now." She looked around, smiling at her son, who was sitting with Doug and Chase, then at Hope and Aiden, then at Sonny and Rafe and Lucas and Ari. "Every year our family gets bigger and bigger, and it's become our tradition to welcome new additions with a special gift. Hope, you want to…"
Hope nodded. She came up to the tree, holding a small blue box. "Most of you know that the impossible's happened for me. I've found love again, love deeper and stronger than I'd ever imagined possible. So if you've been wondering what that strange glow coming from my face is, it's absolute happiness." She turned towards Aiden. "There's no words for how happy you've made me, and how honored I am for us to merge our families into one. I have something very special for you, and for Chase, too. Could you come up here for a minute?"
"Are they getting married?" Chase whispered to Ciara.
"Even better," Ciara said. "You'll see."
As Aiden came up to the tree, there was a soft knock on the door. JJ tiptoed up to it and opened it.
It was Paige.
"Hey," JJ said softly. "I wasn't sure you were up for coming today. Come on in."
Paige smiled at him and said softly, "My head said it's way too soon, but my heart said we've missed too many Christmases together." She kissed his cheek. "Merry Christmas."
In reality, it wasn't Paige at all. It was Will. "Merry Christmas!" He gave JJ a goofy grin and said, "I know it's been a while, but you still recognize me, right? Sonny here?"
"Over there."
Will pushed past JJ, and went right to Sonny and Ari. JJ closed the door, watching as Sonny got up and said, tears in his voice, "You came."
"Of course I did," Will said. "You think I'd miss Christmas with my family?" He and Sonny embraced tightly and kissed, then Will picked up Ari and said, "Daddy's home."
"You're just in time,"" Sonny whispered as they sat back down. "Hope just gave Aiden his ornament." He took Will's hand.
Aiden fumbled with the bow on top of the ornament box and Hope had to help him open it. His fingertips brushed Hope's as she did and they smiled at each other.
JJ made himself smile as he turned and watched, telling himself he had no right to be sad just cause it wasn't Paige up there getting her ornament and that she wasn't standing next to him today. They were dating again, weren't they? Why couldn't that be enough for him?
Aiden and Hope got the box open and Aiden slowly picked up his ornament. It was dark blue with sparkles, and his name was written on it in gold. He turned it over in his hands, saying softly, "Hope, I'm… you've done the impossible and rendered me speechless. Meeting you was more than I ever expected after everything that happened with Chase's mom, and to be officially part of your family… I just don't know what to say."
He and Hope kissed, while Chase and Ciara smiled at each other. Ciara handed Chase a box and said, "Don't open it til you get to the tree so everyone can see." She and Chase went up and stood behind Hope and Aiden. Chase opened his ornament box. His was pine green and his name was written on it in block letters. "I hope you like it," Ciara said shyly. "I put your name on it myself."
"I love it," Chase said, and added, reluctantly, "Sis."
Someone took a photo and then Hope and Aiden and their kids sat down to wait their turn for hanging their ornaments. Julie and Jennifer put up Tom and Alice's ornaments and Julie and Doug put up their ornaments. Jennifer put up hers and then picked up Jack's, but Julie glanced at JJ, who was sitting on the couch trying not to look sad, and said, "I think we should let JJ do that this year, don't you?"
JJ could feel everyone's eyes on him. He stammered, "I… I don't know if I can with my arm…"
"Don't be silly," Julie said. "We'll help you if you need it, won't we?" There was a general murmur of assent.
JJ sighed but he came up to the tree. Julie put her hand on his shoulder and said under her breath, "We'll always help you. Don't you know that?" JJ didn't know what to say so he didn't say anything. Jennifer smiled at him and he tried to smile back as she handed him Jack's ornament. Someone knocked softly on the door as he took it. He turned hopefully, half expecting his dad to be at the door, half expecting Paige.
It was neither of them, of course. A bunch of people filed in: Maggie and Victor and Kayla and Joey and Nicole and Sally and… and Daniel came in last, holding Parker, followed by Chloe and her boyfriend. JJ swallowed hard as their eyes met for a second and Daniel mouthed, "Merry Christmas."
Jennifer came over to welcome everyone and said to Daniel, "I had no idea you were coming."
"We just found out five minutes ago." Daniel's voice wavered. "Parker, he's… he's well enough to come home." Jennifer kissed his cheek and ruffled Parker's hair.
JJ turned back towards the tree. His hand shook a little and his other arm throbbed. "I miss you, Dad," he said to the ornament, blinking back tears. Julie put her hand under the ornament and helped him as he put it on the tree next to his mom's. He felt a hand on his shoulder; when he turned around, nobody was there, yet he felt as if his father was standing right behind him as he took his own ornament and hung it on the branch below his parents'.
Julie glanced at JJ sympathetically and said, "You know, it's been a really difficult year, not just for you, but for all of us. Violence and injuries and seriously ill children… it's a wonder we survived any of it! But no matter how bad things get, we can never be torn all the way down, not as long as we have love in our lives." She glanced at Doug. "Yes, I'm talking about you, you big rascal." Everyone laughed. "Through good times and bad," Julie said, "this man right here has been more than my rock. He's been my anchor, keeping me from drowning in despair when things get tough. But not just him. All of you. Looking around, I see so many faces I'm grateful for. Family I see all the time and don't tell often enough that I love them, new loves that I'm sure I'll fall in love with too, and even people who've found their way back to each other after a long time apart. I'm so grateful for each and every one of you this Christmas. Breaking ties can be painful, whether it's because of illness or death or relationships growing into something other than what they were before. But for all the heartache, there's so much love in this room and I don't know about you, but I think that's the true meaning of Christmas. May love conquer everything this next year and all the days of our lives." She looked into Doug's eyes and said, "Merry Christmas, sweetheart." She and Doug kissed as behind them the ornaments sparkled on the tree, especially Tom and Alice's.
