Starcrossed 52: Bonded
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Before Jazz was even fully booted his awareness surged forward through the bond. Having it wasn't a new feeling for him, that open spot in the center of his spark that attached him to another, but having a bond to someone who didn't completely horrify him was new.

And, it was nice. Oh Primus was it ever nice to feel Prowl there, no hardlines required, no physical connection that another could weaken. It felt a little terrifying, actually, and reckless, to press this close to Prowl without the hardline. That had always been safety and this was like... this was like...

Like walking a tightrope without a safety net for the first time, Jazz decided. Exhilarating, thrilling, and like something was missing but when he calmed down and focused, everything was good. Better. Prowl was calm, and he was steady, the opposite of Jazz's recklessness. That felt good.

Before his mate was even fully booted, in the stages when only the AI was really aware of everything, Jazz pressed a fond kiss for his mate-his bonded-to come into awareness to. As soon as he felt Prowl behind the warm mouth, Jazz unlocked his chest armor. ~Again?~ he asked, almost delirious in his giddy joy.

~Yes. Please,~ Prowl moaned, trembling with desire so intense it nearly knocked him out. But Jazz was there to take some of the emotional intensity from him, to give him an outlet that wasn't shunting it away, and Prowl gratefully took it, leaning on that strength as his armor folded out of the way and his chamber moved forward as it opened. ~Wanted this for so long.~

~Love,~ Jazz whispered with a shudder, pressing up, out, against, into. The merge completed quickly and they took a moment to adjust to each other, then Jazz swirled around his mate, caressing. ~Show me merging with Radiance?~

Immediately memories queued up. The processor POV, which Jazz knew well, was now overlaid by spark memories, something that brought entirely new dimensions of information and sensation to the moment.

It pulled an aching, longing trill from his spark, but there was celebration there, too, and the joy of touching the spark that had touched Radiance was stronger than any of it. For as relatively little as they had merged over their centuries together, Prowl's spark had known their lost third well, and he gladly showed his bonded everything he had known.

Warm, golden light that poured itself wholly into anything it had cared about flooding into Prowl, sharing the life it had known, eager to start their life together, seeing and accepting everything that his lover was without hesitation or judgment.

~He's beautiful,~ Jazz whispered over the memories as he watched the sparks growing closer with familiarity. Felt the frequency and pitch that had been Radiance.

~Yes, he was,~ Prowl hummed in agreement. He was enjoying sharing these memories as much as Jazz reveled in finally experiencing them. ~He is our third. He will always be our third.~

~He should have been a sire,~ Jazz lamented, but he was starting to shiver from the memories and images, pleasure-joy-bliss-us flooding him. He tumbled and spun, unable to hold still, and when the last memory finished, rushed forward to stroke the soft aching in Prowl's spark, as he felt that energy and life do the same for him. ~Thank you,~ he moaned, and shuddered into an overload that they fell into at the same moment and with the same sense of welcome. One of the first of many, many to come.

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Prowl roused to the rather incessant prodding of his tac-net's AI. It was unusual enough that he was more disturbed than irritated. The entity was more interactive and forward than ever anticipated, but it was still an AI. It didn't have a sense of self or the ability to have emotions. Yet Prowl picked up little things on occasion, and right now he'd describe the program as agitated.

Messages were queued up, in order of priority, then time within the priority. He'd been roused by a top-priority message from Prime and he immediately opened it. Even as he accepted and processed the order to return immediately with Vortex, with a note that Skyfire was already there for them, he noted that there were three previous messages from Prime in the past five and a half joors with increasing priority levels.

The Decepticon situation had escalated over the last two local days.

"Did you get Prime's message?" Prowl asked as he powered on his optics to look at his mate.

"Getting it now," Jazz murmured a little blearily, pulled up from the recharge cycle sooner than had been anticipated by the rousing in his mate. He snuggled though the bond and his frame, then when he was finished, glanced sideways at the dull, grayed mess of a rotor frame. "Er, well ... s'pose there's no harm takin' that back. Not gonna do Megs much good," he added with a grin.

"It is proof of deactivation," Prowl shrugged and stood rather reluctantly. "Proof we are no longer holding him."

"Do we hafta?" Jazz pouted at his mate from where he was still spread out on the floor. Prowl gave him a look, the one with a single optic ridge raised and his head tilted just so and Jazz huffed out air, getting up to his pedes. "Honeymoon's over, back to work," he said, rolling his optics.

"At least we didn't have to finish too soon because of this," Prowl said and claimed a soft, sweet kiss. His spark pulsed with the bond now there, making him giddy whenever he wasn't paying strict attention to his self-control. "But first," he held out a cube of jet high-grade. "I want my Praxian back. Or at least his chevron." He brushed his thumb over the spot where their bonded glyph was hidden.

"Aw, Prowler," Jazz grinned, taking the cube and kissing back. They'd long ago saved up enough to keep Vortex alive for several metacycles, and now the excess could go to better uses. Now that they had honest-to-Primus excess being generated on Earth, there wasn't even a twinge of guilt about it.

Doorwings folded and shifted, flaring out, as the chevron grew back into place, their triad tattoo proudly on display. "Sensor horns are staying," Jazz informed his mate seriously when he was done shifting, heading over to Vortex and pulling down the chain systems, wrapping a loop around the frame to drag it with.

"I do like them," Prowl fell into step next to his mate and leaned in to kiss one. "I'm thinking drop him as we come in for a landing right in front of Megatron."

They made their way outside, where Skyfire was standing several long paces away, shifting uneasily, and he tensed noticeably when he saw them.

"Hey Skyfire, pal!" Jazz greeted cheerfully, and the shuttle relaxed when he realized it really was Jazz.

"Hello," he said, voice strained and trying not to look at the thing they were dragging behind them. "It's been a while, you're missing out on human cultural evolution. Blaster wanted me to tell you the music got better."

"Better, huh?" Jazz grinned as he hefted Vortex up. Skyfire transformed and Prowl helped him pull the rotor on board before they climbed in together and went to the front. "Got any samples?"

"Sure!" Skyfire said just as cheerfully and began to play a selection of songs for the flight back. Anything to help him not think about what was in his hold and their condition. The grayed corpse was the first he'd seen up close, and the amount of energon on the SIC and TIC was ... he'd seen the twins come back from battle covered in much less. He was relieved that they didn't try to talk to him. It made it easier to focus on his instruments and negotiating a political airspace landscape that had changed since his last visit when he'd dropped off three living mechs.

"Open your bay door so I can drop this between the lines," Prowl instructed calmly when they were close as he moved for the first time since he'd settled in for the flight.

Skyfire complied, angling to fly over the still-neutral ground between the gathered armies, relieved to see that no fighting had yet broken out. "All right, Prowl, 96 nanokliks to your drop zone," he instructed, as Jazz peered out the front windows and whistled.

"Everyone's out there, so no pressure!" the saboteur called back to his mate.

Prowl just pulsed pleased calm certainty over the bond, then threw Vortex's remains, chains and all, in a perfect partial arch to the ground. It landed several paces in front of Megatron.

"I suggest you let us out before he can process that fully," Prowl said calmly, though Skyfire was already almost down.

The pair walked out the bay door in time to see Megatron howling his outrage at a drawn-looking Optimus, who hadn't moved from where he stood at the front of the Autobots. He spared a glance for his newly-arrived officers, then turned back to the outraged Decepticon.

"Hey!" Jazz shouted at him, getting the warlord's attention.

"You!" Megatron roared. "How dare you! This is outside the negotiated terms of-"

"This," Jazz said, reaching the frame and kicking it with one pede, rolling it onto its back, "Was personal. From long before the war. And now he and I are even." He welcomed his mate against his back.

"I'm sure you endured his rants about his stolen mate and creations." Prowl's calm, cool voice cut through even Megatron's rage and made him pause as truly ancient memories were dredged up.

Soundwave and Starscream were faster to catch on.

"You're his pet noble?" Starscream stared at Jazz, his wings twitching in a mixture of disbelief and admiration.

"Prowl, Jazz: subjects terrorizing Vortex in Kaon," Soundwave stated. "Prowl, Jazz: Autobots at that time?"

"No, and not for a long time after that," Prowl shook his helm.

Jazz hummed, then felt the field of the Prime brushing up behind them. Backup, in case this went bad. "Maybe not the best time ta be reminiscing," he said, and grinned. "We might get nostalgic."

"Lord Megatron," Soundwave cut in. "Soundwave: suggests retreat. Vortex: lost. Bruticus: lost. Autobots: have tactical advantage. Benefits from remaining: few or none."

"Thaaat's right," Jazz said, waving his hand at them. "Run along home now."

Murderous red optics locked onto Jazz, and suddenly Prowl was between them, his doorwings raised in a blatant threat. Only one mech on the entire field didn't realize that Starscream took several rather quick steps back even before the Praxian spoke.

"Now that you are aware of what we are capable of, who wishes to be next?" Prowl asked, his tone utterly calm and controlled. The same one every mecha there recognized from endless joors of battlefield comms.

Soundwave took a step back, but Megatron raised his cannon.

"Lord Megatron." Soundwave sounded genuinely distressed. "Jazz, Prowl: are not what they seem. Retreat: necessary."

"If the slaghead wants to get himself killed, let him," Starscream hissed to the host, looking uneasily at Prowl's stance and the slow, barely-visible pulsing motions in his doorwings.

Threat. Bonded. Protect. Kill.

Jazz draped himself over Prowl from behind, his own doorwings more relaxed, but one thing in them was clear.

Bonded.

"Go ahead," Jazz said, grinning into the cannon. "I guarantee you'll hit thin air and then we'll tear you apart."

Power began to shine within the weapon and the Seekers among the Decepticons launched off, shooting high enough in the air to watch but to be out of the way, and Soundwave's frame radiated distress.

Sideswipe and Sunstreaker moved up, and a flick of two sets of doorwings greeted them in another blatant statement: Welcome creations. Unseen were two deadly snipers setting up to capture Megatron and others in their crossfire, but they would have been greeted the same as the frontliners.

Before the fusion cannon had finished powering up, the world went into motion.

Soundwave dropped from two sniper shots out of nowhere and two pairs of bonded mechs assaulted Megatron. Frontliner gladiators tore into him as was their training, while the SpecOps pair moved for precise, debilitating strikes as the snipers pinned down or dropped any Decepticon that looked intent to interfere.

Starscream had already called his own retreat and his trine had followed him without hesitation. Faced with the vengeful remnants of a Praxian triad who were better equipped, better armed, better fueled, there was a clear advantage on the Autobots' side.

Devastator was the only reason Megatron escaped with his life, the merged gestalt snatching both him and Soundwave up and beating a hasty retreat that took the rest of the straggling army with it. Only Optimus's call kept the two pairs from following.

"We do not engage after a retreat is called," the Prime said, thunder behind his voice. It had the predictable lack of effect on the twins. They obeyed but they were never happy to be called off a fight. Prowl's doorwings dropped in sharp submission, an apology and pleading for forgiveness all in a single movement.

Optimus looked around the field, his gaze almost sad when it fell on the retreating figures in the distance, before he went to Prowl and put a hand on his shoulder. "You're fine, it's all right," he soothed quietly. "We should return to base." His gaze shifted to Jazz, who stood near the twins. "Welcome back, it feels like much longer since I've seen you."

"And that?" Jazz asked, jerking his head towards Vortex's remains.

Optimus x-vented heavily in a mimic of a human sigh as he reluctantly looked over, and this time his optics were sad. "We should not leave that where the humans can find it. It would cause an uproar, even they will be able to see what occurred."

"Not ta mention the technology they shouldn't have," Jazz agreed, going over to heft up the gruesome mess by the chains again. "I'll get it, Prime."

~I want to keep the spark chamber.~ Prowl pulsed over their still-new bond. "Is there an operational smelter?" he focused on Prime.

When Prime finished databursting all the smelters that they currently had access to, Ratchet stalked up to them. "I expect you both in my medbay within a joor. Clean."

Prowl simply nodded his acceptance and fell into step with his mate, their twins following them as something between guards and just needing to clean up themselves.

"I do not envy you when they find your berth again," Ratchet told Optimus quietly.

"I'm not entirely sure they will," Optimus mused, then shook his head and began the work of getting his mecha home.

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The rapid paced cycles of Earth days, months, even years made life there stressful in many ways, but the Autobots were adjusting, and found themselves living at a faster pace at the same time. Autobot City was still being constructed, but Metroplex was well-settled and everyone was relieved to have plenty of space again. Ever more Autobots were moving to Earth, and there was now a permanent Autobot base on Luna as well as the beginnings of one on Mars.

It was the year 2000 by the human calendar, an event of great significant to creatures that saw dozens of generations pass and massive cultural and technological changes each millennium. Yet it had only been a matter of metacycles since the memorable encounter with Megatron when the SIC and TIC had returned from a nearly metacycle long absence with the tortured and shredded remains of a Decepticon. While many were still talking about the battle, they were also talking about what else had been revealed that joor.

Jazz and Prowl, one of the oldest couples anyone knew, had only just bonded. Jazz had been force-bonded to Vortex since long before the war. The terror twins were their creations, as was Smokescreen, though they hadn't raised any of them. That their physical creations were all mated to their adopted creations weirded a few mecha out, but most shrugged it off. It wasn't like they were hurting anyone.

Despite the time that had passed, when the Praxian couple chimed at their Prime's quarters less than a joor before he was scheduled to begin his recharge cycle, it did not surprise the big mech.

"Come in," Optimus called, sounding almost relieved.

"Good evening, Prime," Prowl's voice was warm and smooth, his frame language calmer than ever before. A weight that had driven him for so long was gone, and he was still very much on the rebound.

"I was not sure I would ever have the pleasure of your company again," Optimus admitted as they entered. He was reclining on his berth, predictably working instead of relaxing, but subspaced the datapad immediately. "Did you just return?"

"Ratchet just released us," Jazz said. "Everything went well. Shockwave's not gonna be a problem anymore."

"Then it will be time for a major offensive soon," Optimus sighed. "It is time to take our world back."

"Yes, but first you have been without comfort for too long," Prowl stepped closer. "It is past time we returned to that duty."

Optimus could only nod. He didn't even have the energy to assure them he was all right and that they shouldn't feel obliged ... because the truth was, he wasn't all right. The Prime had never been intended to be a military figure, and while he and the Matrix had adjusted to make it work, the stress of no longer being a spiritual and social guide to his kind was starting to strain him. Ratchet had been noticing for a while and badgering him to invoke a Prime's Right for another pair, but he'd refused. So far. It had gotten to the point where he was trying to decide which of the mated mecha he knew would feel the most comfortable with the task while not making him feel like an idol.

So to have these two unexpectedly knocking at his door, so to speak, was a relief beyond measure.

"Been a while, yeah?" Jazz said climbing onto the berth while his mate walked around to the other side so they could press the Prime between them. "You even gotten any in the last decade and a half?"

"Yes, no," Optimus moaned, his field flaring out to encompass the pair that had become so important to his psychological and spiritual well being. "Thank you."

"I apologize for taking so long, my Prime," Prowl murmured as flared his field into the large mech, focusing on his feelings for Jazz and Radiance as he did so. "I never intended you to suffer so by our absence."

"You've been..." Optimus's field pulsed as close as it could, "...Otherwise and understandably engaged."

"Mostly my fault," Jazz said with a grin, head on the Prime's shoulder. "Been lovin' on my honey."

"It's really all right," Optimus said with a soft moan. "Your bond feels incredible."

"We are not quite so fractured now," Prowl gave his mate a look over Prime's frame and pulsed hard across the bond and his field, pouring all his love, devotion and adoration of his mate through it.

Jazz purred and reached over the Prime to link their fingers together and pushed back his wonder and excitement and the hope he was finally starting to feel for their lives.

"I-I feel that," Optimus gasped, his optics suddenly bright as his field shivered against them. "It is truly amazing." He moaned again, the pulses of his spark speeding up as their fields caressed his, his spark caught between their bond. The Matrix was sensitive to the otherwise subspace phenomenon and it poured directly into his spark and flooded it from the inside, love and peace filling in the shattered places.

The world had been hurt, and broken, but there was hope for the future. It was distant, but he could keep fighting. With devotion like this, he could keep fighting for their kind.

"I-I-!" Optimus cried out, shuddering, and his spark exploded in his chamber, rippling waves of ecstasy coursing up and through all three.

Prowl moaned and arched as Jazz clung to the Prime, drawn instinctively closer to the source of energy, both of them caught by surprise at the intensity of it before sinking into the bliss. Prowl had never felt it like this before, and it felt good to give the Prime such a release. He willingly fed it all they could.

They settled together as the waves passed, panting and limp. "I ... have never felt anything like that," Optimus murmured, dazed and teeking of a giddiness that was nearly at Jazz levels.

"I will enjoy feeling that often," Prowl purred before climbing over the larger mech to pin his love to the berth. "A nice buzz to get worked up for the main event."

Prime's hands moved lightly over Prowl's frame, barely touching, finally settling near his hips. "There has been much speculation about you two," he murmured, amused and eager. "And whether you even still bother with physical interface."

Jazz snorted. "Frag yes we do," he said, thrusting his hips up into Prowl's, and grinned. "Lookit this mech, how is that even a question?"

"With such a stunning mate, how could I not still want to feel him in every possible way?" Prowl moaned at the matching contact. ~Offer my valve to him, or still too much?~ he asked as he claimed Jazz's mouth and allowed his spike to slide free.

Jazz's legs parted, lifted and moved back as he deepened the kiss. ~If you would like him,~ he finally decided, and then, ~I think I'd like to feel you pinned between us.~ He pushed over the security and strength that the bond gave him, the certainty of what they were and what they would never be.

Prowl shivered at how good that felt and slid his valve cover open. "Fill me?" he glanced over his shoulder at his leader.

Optimus looked startled by the request, but he could teek how calm they both were, and how settled Jazz was. They were steadier than they ever had been before. "Gladly," he rumbled, excited and allowing himself to be aroused like this in their presence for the first time.

Jazz's valve cover slid away for his mate and Prowl pushed easily in and then held there, his own valve on display for his Prime. "It has been quite a while," Optimus murmured as he brought a finger to the slick opening, circling it gently before pressing in. He felt the immediate, reflexive tightening around the digit and Prowl moaned. Optimus pulled out and pushed two in, crooking them as he stroked. Prowl shivered and cried out in pleasure and wanting. His valve tightened around the intruding digits, already larger than most spikes he'd taken, and reveled in the permission to feel this particular one stretch and fill him once more.

Jazz moaned from the sensations coming over the bond and couldn't keep his hips from bucking up against his mate, grip tightening around him. ~Feels good,~ he murmured, and realized as he looked over Prowl's shoulder that the slow pace was not only for the SIC.

Optimus was looking right into Jazz's visor as he pushed and pulled at the trapped Praxian, pulsing calm into his field, and when Jazz heard Prowl moan deeply over him and felt the stirrings of panic in his spark, he understood why. Now that he was here, and there was a third actually joining it, it was harder than it had been just a klik prior, imagining it.

~My love, nothing can replace our third,~ Prowl pulsed across the bond, filling it with all he felt for their lost mate. ~Enjoying this is no more an effort to replace Radiance than my laying with Prime was an effort to replace either of you.~ He leaned in to capture Jazz's mouth in a soft, loving kiss. ~Prime can be our lover. He can never be our third.~

A groan as the kiss deepened and Jazz's field ran clear and smooth again, soothed by that promise, and Optimus correctly read it as the last piece of permission that he'd needed and pulled his fingers away, getting a protesting whine from Prowl.

"Patience," the larger mech chuckled and gripped Prowl's hips, lining his spike up, and pushed forward, piercing him, the head slipping in easily.

Jazz cried out louder than Prowl did, fingers clenching down on his mate's armor as Prowl was slowly pressed fully inside him, even the swollen bulbs at the base, right up to the housing. Their bond was absolutely alive with the physical pleasure, but also with the pleasure Prowl took in Jazz's progress since their bonding. Integrating back into the crew had been stressful between Jazz's new looks, the questions they raised, and the spectacular way everyone had been introduced to the capabilities of their SIC and TIC. Not everyone had settled yet, but Prime's acceptance had smoothed over a lot. The recent successes in their war, unquestionably due to the efforts of the newly-bonded pair that fed off each other's power, won them more respect than they had lost from the entire thing.

Of course, for the pair in question, the fact that there was a bond at all was more important than what anyone thought of them.

"Relax," Optimus purred to the pair, one arm around Prowl's waist and the other holding onto Jazz's. "Let me move for you," he kissed his way down Prowl's backstrut, rocking slowly, pulling in and out of Prowl, at the same time moving him in and out of his mate.

"Ohh wow," Jazz moaned, head back.

"Yes," Prowl agreed, his entire frame relaxed, the Prime's to move and command as he willed. "So very good," he moaned. "Never a threat."

Optimus was fighting off his own overload from everything pouring out of their fields and pulsing from their bond. Soothing, caressing, mixing the spiritual with the physical as they worshiped together.

Their worship was true and absolutely devoted, and to each other, a novelty for him. Worship born of love instead of duty towards a title always felt so much better. Driving, thrusting, moaning, moving the pair against each other and driving them towards overload was a true joy for him, and it gave him so much to feel.

"Lo-love you!" Jazz cried, a plural Praxian call not meant for Optimus. His armor unlocked, his chest parted, and his whine as he pulled against Prowl was almost desperate. Optimus moaned when the energy from the uncovered spark washed out over him, and shuddered when the second spark joined it only nanokliks later. The two halves, still so very new in the bond that had been denied for so terribly long, lunged for each other in a crash and crackle of energy. In time it would become making love, but little more than a metacycle after bonding the need was still far too intense to control easily.

~My love, my mate, my bonded.~ Prowl's spark rippled with joy at the truth as it plunged into its mate, willingly and eagerly surrendering itself even as it accepted the complete surrender from its other half.

Tumbling, spinning, dancing, laughing, twirling was the answer as the sparks pushed together, frames all but forgotten but for the way Optimus was still pushing them together, friction building and all three shuddering. When overload claimed them all, no one knew who had tumbled over first, just that it was blissfully erotic and the keening roars consumed them.

Sparks writhed in ecstasy as frames shook and spilled and quivered, wave after wave riding over and through while Optimus and Jazz absorbed the extra energy from Prowl that the tac-net had deemed to be too dangerous. It left Prowl shaking long after his mate and Prime had grown still, the lower discharge drawing the overload out. When his processor finally cleared, he came to still buried and filled, to the feeling of Jazz's mouth against his.

"Thank you," Optimus moaned softly.

At first Prowl could only hum, his attention riveted on his mate, but eventually the kiss ended and he caught up with the rest of his input feeds.

"You are welcome," he purred softly. "It is our pleasure to be with you and heal you."

Optimus huffed with soft amusement. "It is more mine," he said, and very carefully rolled to his side, arms around them both and holding them tightly as they shut down for recharge, Prowl still buried in his bonded and both mates radiating the intensity of their love in a soothing emotional blanket that allowed Optimus Prime to recharge better than he could ever remember.

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Prowl, predictably, began to boot first and finished second to his mate while Optimus oversaw the entire process, a mix of protective and thoughtful.

"'Morning lover," Jazz purred, nuzzling his bonded.

"Morning," Prowl nuzzled into a greeting kiss.

"We have a joor," Optimus murmured.

"Mm, joor for what?" Jazz asked, lost in greeting his mate.

"A healing merge," Optimus suggested gently. "I know Prowl has long wished for you to be able to indulge in it."

"'M all right," Jazz said, and grinned into a kiss. "C'mon, there's gotta be a better way ta spend a joor."

"Having experienced several, it is worth it, if you are ready to accept it," Prowl said gently. The bond pulsed with reassurance, hope and absolute devotion.

It was the hope that caught Jazz by surprise and he stilled, looking into Prowl's optics. "It ... helps?" he asked. Part of him wanted it, part of him wanted the chance of moving forward, and he wanted to want to keep living with Prowl. He wanted to look forward to living with his mate, not dying with him.

Part of him was afraid of what could happen.

"Yes," Prowl promised, a sentiment echoed far more fervently by his spark. "There is pain, and distress and truths that you may not want to face," he said very seriously. "On the other side though, is feeling better, being more at peace with what has happened. It was very much worth it for me."

"And I won't forget anything," Jazz said, half asking, looking at Optimus.

The Prime shook his head. "Not a thing. You will remember Radiance with the same clarity and love as you always have." Because there was no question of what Jazz had never been able to fully recover from. "It will even still hurt. But you will be better equipped for the now."

"And wanting to join him," Jazz said, tense. "What happens to that?"

"I can't tell you all of that," Optimus said. "Because I don't know. Your love for him will not change, that's all I can say."

Jazz looked at him warily, then back to his mate, and nodded.

Prowl kissed him softly with the bond full of reassurance. "Thank you."

While the couple reassured themselves, mostly Prowl assuring Jazz, Optimus Prime settled at the head of the berth with his back supported and waited for Jazz to be ready to join him.

It took a few kliks, but finally Jazz was able to part from his mate and climbed up into Optimus's lap, hands against his windshield, settling himself there.

"There we go," Optimus said with a smile as his battle mask retracted. His arm wrapped around Jazz's back to support him and his chest folded back in the series of transformation sequences that revealed his crystal chamber. "It helps if you open your chest," he said earnestly when after a long moment, Jazz still hadn't responded.

It startled the saboteur and then he grinned up at the Prime. "Nah, thought we'd just do it like this," he said, but his own chest split and parted.

Optimus extended his field, directed it towards Jazz's spark, but allowed the smaller mech to set the pace of the merge. He offered his services, comfort, a promise of healing and his care for Jazz. It had to be Jazz's choice to merge, and he had to have the ability to back out at any moment prior to the Matrix becoming involved. After that, the merge would continue until Optimus released it.

The skittish mech in his arms-a near opposite of who he was when he was commanding or working, or even just talking with anyone outside this room-slowly drew forward and pressed his spark out, and it brushed to Optimus's, tendrils tying together and pulling them closer.

It was quick, and performed without the sensuality that Optimus knew was part of every merge with Prowl, hurried through like a duty not looked forward to.

But it was enough, and the merge completed with a breathless feeling, as Jazz took in his Prime with some awe. It was one thing to know the Prime had been changed by the Matrix of Leadership. It was yet another to experience it second hand through Prowl. To actually merge with such power made Jazz wobble a bit as he suddenly grasped that he had no control but what he was given here.

If he wanted out, he had to be let out.

~I will not hold you here against your will,~ Optimus promised softly, his mental voice only half himself. ~You are here to heal, not to be hurt again.~

Jazz's spark flickered in understanding, captivated by that voice, thinking he had a better idea of why a merge with the Prime had made his lover react the way he had. ~So what, ah, what now?~ he asked, shivering.

~Now we look at what your spark is holding onto that prevents you from moving forward,~ Optimus explained gently. ~Vortex, Radiance, your creations, grief and guilt.~

Jazz slammed backwards, pulsing rapidly, and fought against the desire to want out. ~None of that needs looked at.~

The corner of Jazz's spark that was Prowl pulsed with support, a silent assurance that he should and could be strong.

~It all does,~ Prime insisted, and it was definitely something beyond Optimus now. ~You are stuck where you are. Your vengeance is complete, yet you have not accepted that there is something beyond.~

~Of course there is,~ Jazz said, and images from long-ago illustrations of the Well flickered through his thoughts, cut with images of Radiance. ~Winning back Cybertron.~

~Is that your desire, to join your mate?~ Prime rumbled, hinting that it wasn't such a simple question. ~There are no promises for what you might find in the Well.~

~Yes,~ Jazz whispered. ~It's the closest we can be to him, whatever happens.~

~You are still young, Jazz,~ the voice softened somewhat. ~One of your mates is still with you, bonded and vibrant.~

~We were never meant to outlive our third!~ Jazz protested, almost keened. ~We should have been bonded, we should have been able to let the break take us!~

~You believe he is waiting for you in the Well, with Primus?~ the voice pressed at Jazz's spark, teasing and tugging at the tangled knot of pain, love, devotion, grief, loss, hate and self-blame that wound around and through the glyph that was Radiance's designation.

Jazz curled, shuddering as it loosened with each pull. ~If there is a Well, if there is a Primus, he would have deserved it more than anyone.~

~And you, Prowl?~ the voice prodded gently as emotions Jazz had long suppressed to an extent unfolded here with a spark that would not let him turn away.

~Prowl has only ever been loyal,~ Jazz managed, fighting not to look. ~Done everything to serve me. Nothing was his fault. He serves you, he deserves peace.~

~And your fate?~ the voice prodded again.

~Mine?~ Jazz echoed, brokenly, and with a final pull the knot came loose and all the guilt and hate and self-loathing surged out and began to spiral around him, faster and faster until it had formed a vortex in the center of his spark, one that Jazz felt like he was standing on the precipice of, looking down into a black infinity.

Screams echoed up, designations, faces, the colors of a thousand sparks mixing together into a uniform gray that wrapped around his arms and legs and pulled him, topping him over the edge and he screamed and he knew that the fall and the pain would never stop.

And then it ended, it was gone with a brush from the Prime and Jazz was jolted as he found himself back at the top, staring into the spark that had simply pushed the vision away.

~Th-that,~ Jazz stammered, and the loss started to flow around him. Loss and fear that there was nothing more to hope for, that he should have acted sooner, faster, regret that his creation had been right all along, that his need for vengeance had destroyed the happiness they might have known together.

~The future is always in motion. What might have been can never be known,~ the voice reminded Jazz firmly. ~Is not Prowl's love something worth enjoying?~

~With every pulse of my spark,~ Jazz whispered, and shuddered with grief-spasms that wracked through him, cutting and tearing away at his spark, all of it wrapped around the memory, not his own, of a golden spark trembling in the ecstasy of a merge.

~He desires your happiness.~ the voice said, and again it was something that Jazz couldn't have challenged even if he'd been inclined to. ~You could have a long, good existence together.~

~What if I move on? What if I forget?~

Fear-guilt-pain-loss-longing-hate-guilt-guilt-guilt-guilt-guilt-guilt-guilt-guilt-

~Has Prowl?~ the voice asked, breaking the emotional cacophony for a moment. ~Healing has never meant forgetting,~ it explained patiently. ~It only means letting go of the pain so all you recall is the pleasant.~

~Prowl...~ Jazz said quietly, and everything stopped with that designation. ~He's better than me, he served well, my coding-my coding-it should have gone to him and I couldn't let it and it was destroyed so it couldn't go to them, should have gone to them, can I heal and remember without?~ was the confusing, rushed explanation.

~It is your spark that must heal,~ the voice reminded him gently but firmly. ~Your coding does not exist here. It is only you. Yes, you can heal, remember and enjoy a future without the coding. It is nothing more than a shackle. Prowl's coding tied him in much the same way. It is your spark that must heal, not your mind.~

~Why?~ Jazz whispered.

Why do I deserve that?

~Because all sparks deserve to heal,~ the voice replied simply and honestly. ~In a frame or after, all sparks heal. Eventually.~

~...How do I start?~ Jazz finally asked.

In answer, Optimus drew him up and away and showed him ... himself, trapped beneath the weight of everything that he'd freed. Freed from the designation that burned into him, but now smothering. ~You forgive yourself.~

Shock, and denial, and Jazz twisted away. Optimus let him go, but stayed there, open and accepting.

~How can I?~ Jazz demanded.

~It will take time,~ Optimus said. ~More than one merge. And it will hurt. And it's your choice, always. But if you don't...~ The vision shifted to show Prowl, smothered by the same grief. ~Your mate will be trapped with you, unable to move forward into the life he dreams for you.~

~...Prowl dreams for me?~ Jazz asked quietly.

~Yes. It is why he wants you to heal. He envisions a future where you are no longer burdened by yourself, your past.~ Images flickered up of things Prowl had shared during healing merges and for pleasure, or to simply talk to a mech that would neither judge nor use it against him. Once Prowl had understood what healing meant, he had wanted it for his mate so very badly.

Jazz looked warily at the open spark and hesitantly crept back into it, curling up. ~I miss him,~ he half sobbed, and Optimus pulled the unspoken designation between them and ran cooling light over it, smoothing the jagged edges. Jazz shuddered and gasped and Optimus continued until the crackling burning had been dulled to an aching heat. ~Should have tried harder.~

~He would not blame you,~ the voice insisted. ~He would not want you to continue to hurt.~

~I know,~ Jazz moaned, and in here, he realized he did know, and he gave himself over into the Prime's embrace as that spark ran around and through his, soothing the jagged edges and setting the broken places with its own life force.

When Jazz could take no more he felt himself slide into a kind of recharge, but of the spark, and back into his frame. He was only absently aware of how gently he was laid on the berth, but he was fully focused the moment Prowl's mouth found his and Prowl's spark was so close they could touch but for their armor.

~I'm so proud of you,~ Prowl's love and happiness rippled across their bond.

~I love you,~ Jazz managed.

"Your spark will be brittle for a few orns," Optimus's voice broke through the haze. "Be gentle with yourself."

Prowl's gaze shifted focus to the Prime for a moment. "What will help the most?"

"Routine," Optimus said, hand on Jazz's helm. "No spark merges, just for a few orns after one of these, and there should be more," he told Jazz. "It'll take time."

Jazz nodded and curled up against Prowl. "I know," he murmured, and his spark did feel brittle, and strange, and Radiance's absence felt raw, but when it started to ease under Prowl's touch, he didn't find himself clinging to it.

"I think I'll head in early," Optimus rumbled, nuzzled Prowl fondly, and quietly slipped out of the room.

"He said ... that you dream for us," Jazz said, bringing Prowl's hand to his mouth and kissing the palm.

"Yes," Prowl nuzzled into a kiss. "Once Prime healed me I was able to see past the vengeance and to what the future could be, after Vortex, after the war, after rebuilding. All our creations will bond, there will be sparklings to raise again, a powerful House and estate to run once more. If Prime has his way, a world to run, for me."

"Primus save us from the creations that Mirage will carry," Jazz chuckled. "Just watch his newsparks split and leave us with twice as many little Pit demons running around. I'd like that, I think," he said, fingers running over Prowl's chevron. "A world like that. What about ... us?"

"I'd like to carry again," Prowl couldn't have hidden the longing there if he'd tried. "I'd like to actually raise a creation of mine, of ours."

Jazz rolled, pushing his mate to his back and settling over him to take a deep kiss. "Maybe," he murmured, before tucking his head against Prowl's shoulder. "Let me get used to the idea."

Prowl wrapped his arms around his love and hummed. The bond pulsed with affection, loyalty and support as they settled. "As long as you need, my love. Healing takes time."