Happy Hanukkah, even though I bet half of you or more don't even celebrate it.

So, today's the second day of Hanukkah, and I bet your ass you know what I have two more of – Fucking dreidels. Two more for the dreidel box, right? And judging from every previous Hannukah, even more to come…

Woop dee fucking doo.

And they're just fucking amazing. Yesterdays had a turkey on it, you know, for Thanksgiving. And today's is 'Modern Art' styled. Yep, 'modern art'. Looks more like someone fucked it up and threw it into a shredder. If it increases aero-dynamics when throwing, then at least it serves some kind of purpose.

Seriously, do you even know how many kids at school try to convert to Judaism just for Hannukah? They all think it's pretty fucking sweet, having an equivalent of Christmas for eight days. Honestly, when your parents just get you dreidels, it's really not all you think it is.

Sure, the general atmosphere is kinda nice, but mom turns into physco-mom when relatives come over. I mean, holy fuck, it's like she's gone cleaning commando, bustling about with a utility belt full of bleach, disinfectants and utensils. Thought soccer moms were bad? You have clearly not seen her like this.

I swear, half the time I expect her to do a fucking backflip down the stairs, spraying air freshener while she's at it.

Not to mention she's mega uptight. If I'm out of the house, she's pissed because I'm off 'frolicking around' instead of helping out. If I'm at home, she yells at me for getting in the way. And if you try to reason with her, she knows how to put those utensils to use. Never before have turkey basters looked so fucking horrifying.

And then there's the relatives. More fucking dreidels.

You know what does suck though? The lack of Hanukkah specials. I mean, Christmas is practically already here, with how festive everything is. And with that, comes Christmas specials of pretty much every fucking show they have on TV. Where's the Hanukkah specials?

I know Christianity is more dominant in America, but I'm pretty damn sure that Judaism is second place. So where are our specials? It just sucks ass getting all these constant reminders of this pretty fucking cool holiday that I don't get to take part in.

Another lonely 'Christmas'…

Melancholia aside, it's Black Friday – A crazy ass day where pretty much everyone loses their shit. The cars are on fire, people are running screaming, and animals are dying – And that's just because Fatass had Mexican last night.

It's like a day where people just accept the carnage and join in. Currently, in the mall, Wall Maria has fallen. And when I say Wall Maria, I mean those half-assed drunks who are meant to keep order. Said order-keepers are the ones running shirtless attacking people with fucking vacuums and wireless coffee makers.

Who the hell even needs a wireless coffee maker anyway?

A/N: Sorry again for my crappy updates! It's that time of year where I'm too stressed over exams to get into the festive spirit -.-

Also, sorry for my lack of replying to PM's! As much as I want to get round to that, my studying has to come first! Ah, the joys of exams…

Guest Reviews:

Marth: KNEW IT! Still, glad to see that despite your travels around the Archives of , you still come around these parts! Huh, glitter covered Pocky, you say? Budget Christmas decorations: Sorted!