Chapter 43
Bella came through her surgery fine. She showed minimal signs of smoke inhalation. She had a headache from some carbon monoxide poisoning. She felt terrible. They had a cast on her arm and a bandage and brace on her knee. They'd taken glass out of many cuts on her body, and stitched her forehead and several other places. My baby.
James hadn't fared as well. His time on the floor and the fact that he was rescued minutes after she was meant he had sustained more smoke inhalation. He'd also had surgery for his collapsed lung. He had awoken, but was in a lot of pain.
I had gone upstairs to see James a couple of times. He had gripped my hand with surprising strength. I wanted him to know how much I cared. I tried to convey that by returning the grip. Now that Bella was stable, I was free to regret the state of my relationship with him. Once indifferent to putting eternity between us, I didn't feel that way now. I meant it when I told him I loved him. Granted he didn't return the sentiment, didn't know what to do with it trapped as he was in the hospital bed, but he nodded in response. I know he had refused to let me use him to make myself feel better. But none of that crap mattered now. Bella had told me how he tried to save her. For the first time in forever, I really felt like I had a brother.
Oh, my Bella. As the details of the disaster unfolded, the miracles of their speedy rescue kept surfacing. The firehouse was one block over from the antique store. Hence the efficient effort. It made all the difference. I called the station and thanked them for having the balls to yank her out of that inferno as quickly and decisively as they did. I asked them about their favorite charity. Children's hospital, burn unit. They'd be getting a hefty check.
Ben called every day. With the difficult pregnancy, they weren't free to come, although they wanted to. Ben was willing to fly there, but I didn't want him to leave Angela, not for a day.
Carlisle was our liaison between ourselves and the medical world. Esme kept vigil between James and Bella. Not only was she hit personally on both levels, but she'd grown dependent on Bella's help at work. As for me, I didn't only lean on Peter, I fell on him. Tanya called me to inform me she was coming back to work with him as long as I needed her.
Vickie showed up on day two. She stayed with James, giving Esme a break. She did what she could. I knew she had issues with hospitals, and was aware of every minute she was trapped there. She took frequent breaks. She gravitated toward me as I'd been her comfort for a number of years. But I wasn't up for it. I knew I was aloof, but I had nothing left for her. Anything I could give was for Bella.
And I got in everyone's way as I cared for my girl. The only time I left was when they made her use the bedpan, and then because she insisted. They put a cot in her room for me and I slept there, at the foot of her bed against the wall. I kept a motel room close where I did shower, and where Carlisle and Esme stayed the first few nights as well. But most of my time was here, with my wife. Where else would I be? Nothing else mattered.
I was sitting by her bed reading her an article on the top ten ways to give a guy an orgasm. Yes, there are ten. I'd snatched this rag from the waiting room just to share this revelation with her.
We were right in the middle of it when Rose and Alice walked in. Rose led. It reminded me of how beautiful my girl was. I wanted her to be up and carefree like them.
They flocked to her, patting me as I stood and moved aside. She had oxygen tubes in her nose, and fluids going into her hand, but that didn't stop her from hugging them with her one good arm. Alice was full on sobbing. "You could…you could…."
Rose was more composed, but barely. I already knew that she wasn't as stoic as she looked. When she lost it, it was worse than Alice, so I was glad she held on.
Alice wiped Bella's eyes. I was standing there with a Kleenex ready, but they didn't need me. We talked a little more about the explosion. The shopkeeper, Hosea, hadn't made it. I'd broken that news to Bella just the day before. She kept asking, and I told her the truth. They comforted her some more. I could see how good they were for her.
"I'm going to go get a cup of coffee while you Forkies catch up," I said.
Bella put out her hand for me. I went to her and squeezed her fingers, leaned in and kissed her. "I love you," she whispered.
"And I love you."
The girls looked at me with such sympathy. I guess I was pathetic but I didn't care. Anything to put a smile on Bella's face, anything to bring her some joy.
She came home two weeks later. She had a walker and a wheel chair. She'd broken the left arm and the right knee so it was a balancing act. And the winter weather was setting in. There would soon be ice and snow.
James wouldn't be out for a couple more weeks. When he got out, his condo wouldn't be finished and Esme wanted him to come home with her where he'd been staying anyway.
Vickie planned camp at Esme's as well. She had work in Los Angeles, but it would be over by then.
The problem was, my book was coming out in a couple of weeks. My contract included a certain amount of promotion. That put as much pressure on Peter as it did me. Tanya could cover for much of what he was involved with at the organization, but I couldn't be two places at once when it came to Bella. Esme offered for Bella to stay with her and Carlisle.
"I'm not an invalid," Bella insisted. "I can easily stay here."
But in the end she opted to stay with Esme for the two weeks I'd hit the road with Peter. The selling point was the work. Esme needed help, and Bella couldn't drive. There were also stairs to maneuver at our condo. At Esme's she could have a ground floor room, get chauffeured if she needed to go to the doctor's, etc., and assist her sort of mother in law/employer when needed. Jeanine was also bringing her classwork as she could. Some she was able to do on-line, but Jeanine lived closer to Esme.
Our last night together I was doing my favorite thing next to actually doing the deed, I was washing her. I knew she could manage by herself, but she allowed me this need to take care of her.
I'd put the plastic covering over the cast on her arm. But her brace went to her thigh, so I'd have her sit on the tiled bench that was built into the far wall of our shower. Then I'd moved her injured leg as close to the side of the shower as I could, and gently prop her foot on the low side of the tub. Following that I'd take the shower curtain and wrap it over her brace to keep it dry. Then I would turn on the water, pull the hand held shower head off of the main stationary one, and I'd be standing before her, naked, with the water source in my hand. She'd be sitting there spread open, sometimes hiding herself behind a washrag, or boldly sitting there allowing me to look my fill, depending on her mood.
I liked to drop to my knees so I was on eye level with her. She told me she knew this was better than my bath fantasy, as I ran the warm shower of water over her, following that with my hand and the French-milled soap I bought for her. "No," I'd assure her. "This is me making lemons out of lemonade. You're not hurt in my fantasy."
But it was one of the hottest damn things I could imagine. She had these smudges under her eyes because her strength wasn't back, and she looked frail as she'd lost weight, and her needing me, and me loving her to blindness, and being able to do for her, to be with her, not even counting the other externals, like her beauty, her magnetism and appeal, her skin, her breasts, her private self on display, yeah.
I felt like Lancelot, Mr. Darcy, and crazy Heathcliff rolled into one. I was good, noble, not so good, not so noble, as today, in this particular last shower before I had to leave, I sprayed the warm water over her private place, bringing the water closer, as she bowed her head, her wet washed hair spread over her narrow back as she enjoyed the sensation of the water. Then I dropped the fountain to the floor and my lips replaced its spray as I made love to her with my face. Holy, holy, holy.
I had brought her release, and the satisfaction that gave me was unparalleled as I not only got to show her how much I loved her, but it took her out of the misery of her confinement for just a moment. So the injury and nearly losing her heightened every act.
I didn't want to leave. Nothing else mattered. I knew this, but now I really knew it.
She told me to stand, and with minimal bending she put her mouth on my hard and eager member and my knees nearly buckled I felt such emotion coursing through me as the fingers of her one good hand dug into my ass, and her curvy little lips moved up and down my flesh and I climaxed so explosively I did have to slowly lower to sit just to ride it out.
I limply handed her the shower head and she took her time letting the water run over me. It warmed my shoulders and ran over my abs, pooled in my navel and ran over my hips. She paid particular attention to my limp dick.
"You're such a beautiful man," she whispered. "I know you're beating yourself up about going. But you've got a book coming out, baby!"
My hand rubbed up and down her calf. I loved the shape of it, her tiny ankle, her cute little foot. "If I could get my name off of it and stay here with you I'd do it in a heartbeat. Nothing else matters to me."
She looked at me for a moment, the water hitting the floor between us, then she slowly started to move it over me again. "Then it's good you're going."
"Why do you say that?" I pulled on the ends of her hair that hung in front of her perfect breast. She still had the cuts, but they were healing nicely. The one on her forehead was sealed. She had the most soulful eyes. So expressive and such depth. Whenever she looked at me like this, my stomach still clenched with excitement.
"Because you have to carry on. You worked hard for this. You've done all you can for me. I have to be strong. We've had time to commiserate. But we can't live like this forever."
"Why not? It's what I planned to do when we married. It's what you wanted. I'm the one that kept complicating it, adding things, crushing you…."
She sprayed the water in my face. Once I was over the shock of that, I surrendered to it. She wet my hair and handed me the spigot so she could rub shampoo in. It felt so good.
"Stop it," she whispered, laughing.
I lifted my head. She was such a beautiful sight, the one hand still in my hair, bringing the peak of her breast higher.
"I know what you're thinking. You're going. And you're going to kick ass and sell books. Wait until they see you. They'll buy that book just to get close to you. And I'll be here, pulling for you. No regrets."
I got on my knees then, shampoo plopping onto her. She laughed as I knelt between her legs and kissed her slow and with all of my adoration. It was easy to push into her, we were perfectly aligned, and she felt so tight and hot.
"I love you, in case you didn't know," I said.
"Got it," she laughed, gripping my balls. "Got. It."
