This fanfic contains a lot of swearing, smoking, violence and various other mature themes.
All characters are the property of Rebecca Sugar and Cartoon Network, except for Erica, Charlie, Victoria, Echo and Parker.
This fanfic is written from the perspective of E. K. Brooks.
Chapter 53: Clean up
As we walked to the temple the next morning, Jasper leaned down to take my hand in hers, bringing us to a stop just as we reached the sand.
"You sure you want to do this today?" she asked.
"Yes, darling… I think it would be good for me to… get out of my own head for a bit, just do something physical"
"Alright" she looked at me and smiled. "Just tell me if you need to talk, or a break or… like a hug or something"
I gave her hand a squeeze. "Thanks, beastie, I will…"
"I'm making cheeseburgers for dinner afterwards. With potato wedges. And garlic sauce. No arguing" she gave me a warm grin and my heart swelled with affection for her.
"Darling…" I said, feeling my cheeks heat up. I lifted her hand to my lips and kissed her knuckles in thanks.
We reached the stairs and climbed them, then knocked at the door.
"Greetings!" a perky looking Peridot appeared and opened the door for us. It squeaked a little differently than the old one. Somehow I had imagined Peridot would be in the same mood as I had last seen her – so her being enthusiastic to see us was a little unsettling.
"Uh, hi" I said. "How… how's it going, P-peridot?"
"It's going marvelously, thank you for asking! According to my calculations, your extra pairs of hands will provide enough help to clear the barn and make it fit to be inhabited – today! Well, technically tomorrow – the estimated work time is about seventeen hours, but as an earth day is a whole twenty four hours – " she clapped her hands and grinned at us. "Come on in, let's get started! Oh I can't wait to redecorate!" she hurried off with a squeak. Jasper and I exchanged a look.
"Did she just say seventeen hours?" I asked in disbelief.
"Yes" Jasper shook her head and scoffed. "We're not working that long"
"Good morning!" Steven greeted cheerily from the kitchen as we stepped inside. He was just putting some dishes in the sink.
"Morning Steven" Jasper said and I waved at him.
"Everybody on the warp pad!" Peridot shouted from the temple door. "We're losing daylight, people!"
"Coming!" Steven dashed over to Peridot, looking excited. Pearl and Garnet exited the temple from what looked like a purple tinted room, talking in low voices. Jasper and I approached the others.
"Where is Amethyst?" Peridot asked with a hint of annoyance.
"She… needs a moment. To um. Get ready" Pearl said with an unconvincing smile.
"She'll come later. Let's go" Garnet stepped up onto the warp pad.
"'Later'?" Peridot frowned at Pearl as if she was horribly offended. "This is the agreed upon time, she can't just… not show up! My whole flow chart goes out the window if she's not here!" the little green gem stomped over to the temple door and pounded on it with a tiny fist. "Amethyst, get your butt out here this instant!"
"Come on Peridot, we can start without her, it'll just take a little longer, that's all" Steven wheedled.
"She is seventeen percent of our carrying capacity!" Peridot gestured toward the door angrily. "Now I'm going to have to recalculate everything!" she pulled out her tablet and began tapping at it, grumbling.
"We won't all fit" Garnet said as Jasper and I stopped in front of the raised white circle. I instantly remembered Jasper telling me about gems being pushed out of the warp stream during the last evacuation of the war.
"We'll uh… take the next one?" I suggested, looking up at Jasper. She nodded and Steven waved goodbye as the lights flashed into life. "How long do we have to wait, do you think?"
"Not very long…" she said distractedly, her eyes on the temple door. I followed her gaze. "What's up with Amethyst…" she wondered aloud and walked over the pad to knock on the door. "Hey Amethyst, what's going on?" she turned her head to listen and I walked up to her.
"Is she in there?" the words had barely left me when the door made a noise and split down the middle – the two halves opened like they had a bunch of purple bubblegum stuck between them. We waited a moment for her to come out, but she didn't. Jasper raised an eyebrow, then ducked inside.
"Come on babe" she called and I followed her.
"Are you sure it's OK I come too – oh" the huge purple tinted room was full of large crystals and junk arranged in tottering piles. There was the sound of a waterfall somewhere close by, too. I looked up – I couldn't see the ceiling. "Whoa…" I breathed, stopping a moment.
"Amethyst, where are you?" Jasper walked on ahead, apparently knowing how to navigate the maze of – not to put too fine a point on it – garbage. I followed her slowly, looking around at all the different kinds of things. The word 'hoarder' came to mind…
There was a rumbling crash and I froze, thinking one of the piles must have collapsed.
"So this is what Amethyst does to get ready, is it?" I heard Jasper's voice coming from behind a large stack of broken TVs and other electronics.
"What should I be getting ready for, exactly?" Amethyst answered grumpily.
"The barn. Clean up"
"Pff… as if…"
I stepped carefully around a precarious heap of newspapers and the two gems came into view.
"Uh… hi" I said a tad awkwardly. "Hope it was OK I came in"
"Oh. Hey, E…" Amethyst stopped in the middle of ripping the seat off a toilet. "Yeah. 's fine"
I glanced over at Jasper. This… didn't sound like the usual cheery Amethyst.
"What's up with you?" Jasper inquired rather brusquely. I knew she always slipped into a… cockier? Version of herself around Amethyst, but the purple gem seemed almost sad.
"Nothing. I'm fine" well. That was obviously a lie.
"Should I… maybe go?" I asked tentatively.
"We should all go" Jasper said, taking the toilet seat from Amethyst, tore it off its hinges without effort and threw it over her shoulder. "Come on" she started walking toward me.
"I'm not going" Amethyst said sulkily, kicking the remnants of the toilet over with a thump.
"Why not?" Jasper stopped and half turned.
"I'm just not going, OK. So if you're gonna go, just go already!" Amethyst turned away with a swish of her mane. Jasper looked at me with pursed lips, then smirked and gave me a reassuring smile. I raised an inquiring eyebrow at her.
"Why'd you let us in here?" Jasper asked, turning back to look at Amethyst.
"Fuck, I don't know. Figured you'd want to hang out" she kicked an old can into a puddle. It made a 'plunk' sound as it hit the surface.
"So let's hang out"
"Fine. What you wanna do?"
"I want to go to the barn" Jasper stated firmly.
"Fuck, Jay-tard I said I'm not going!"
"Why not?"
"Cuz I don't want to"
"Why don't you want to?"
"Just leave it, Jasper…" Amethyst's shoulders sagged.
"No, tell me. Why don't you want to go to the barn?" Jasper took a step closer.
"Just leave it…"
"Tell me" another step.
"No"
"Amethyst" Jasper was standing just behind her now.
"No, Jasper!"
"Come on, tell me"
"It's none of your fucking business!" Amethyst shouted, her words echoed around the room. Then she turned around and pushed Jasper away from her. Or tried to. The purple gem gave a growl of frustration and kicked at her shins instead.
"Are you done?" Jasper asked and Amethyst glared up at her.
"Go fuck yourself!"
"Did that yesterday" Jasper shrugged nonchalantly. I felt my ears heat up.
"Then go do it again!"
"Might, later. But not until you tell me why you won't go to the b-"
"Because Peridot's there, you asshole!"
Jasper looked at her. Then nodded, and said; "Well, OK then" then turned her heel and started to walk toward me. She was smirking and holding out a hand to me. I looked at her, feeling very confused. I took her proffered hand and fell into step next to her, glancing back worriedly at the fuming Amethyst.
"Darling, what the h-"
"Wait for it…" she said in a low whisper as we walked away quickly. There was an almighty crash and an angry scream.
"Jasper! You can't just – " the sound of running feet came from behind us. "You can't just come in here and piss me the hell off and then walk away!"
"Duck" Jasper said with a grin.
"What?" her hand pushed me down gently as something wooshed over both our heads and crashed into a pile of junk, making it fall over with a loud clanging. Jasper stood up quickly and stepped behind me. I got to my feet, wincing slightly. "Darling?"
"One second, babe" then she grunted as she caught something in her arms and put it down next to her with a thump. It was an engine. I stared at it, horrified.
"Is Amethyst throwing things?!"
"Yep. Do you trust me?"
"Of course, darling, but – "
"Just stay behind me. It'll be over soon" she gave me a crooked grin over her shoulder. I… guess I'll just stand here then, I thought dazedly, the situation completely lost on me. This is the weirdest trust exercise in the world. "Is that all you got, runt?" Jasper called mockingly. Um. Not what I'd do here, but… OK. Trust. Fuck this was hard.
"Fuck you, Beta bitch!" whip cracks and light came from in front of Jasper and then she grunted as she caught and discarded a washing machine, half a piano and a refrigerator door in turn. I couldn't see around her and winced as the fridge door clanged on the engine. I covered my ears.
"That's Beta sir to you, you deformed little mongrel!" Jasper roared gleefully.
"You're a steaming pile of shit!" more heavy objects sailed toward us and were caught deftly by Jasper.
"You are the tiniest, most miniscule Amethyst I have ever seen!"
"Limp stem!"
"Why don't you come over here and say that, fuck head?!"
"Eat shit, you cunt!"
"Make me!" a whole plane wing thudded into Jasper's arms and she threw it to the side with a crash, then she stood there, heaving with breath. I could hear Amethyst panting from in front of her. Were they done? I drew in a breath to speak, but Jasper shook her head slightly and I remained quiet. After a few more seconds of relative silence, Jasper straightened up and cricked her neck, then let out a pleased chuckle. "Is precious getting tired?"
There was a scoff and then a growling Amethyst landed on Jasper's shoulders as Purple Puma. Jasper grunted and they fell to the ground, rolling over and over, trying to pin each other. I looked on in stunned silence, then I realized what she was doing. I let out a sigh and my shoulders dropped. They growled and scratched at each other, knocking over piles of junk as they wrestled. I leaned against the broken piano and looked on with a grin on my face. After a minute's struggle, Amethyst caught Jasper in a leg lock and laughed triumphantly as Jasper patted the ground in surrender.
"And Purple Puma is the winner!" Amethyst whooped and returned to her normal shape. Jasper chuckled and got to her feet, dusting herself off.
"Feel better?" she asked with a smirk and Amethyst stopped in the middle of her victory dance.
"You dick!" she exclaimed and punched Jasper on the thigh. "Fuck you!"
"Fuck you too" Jasper ruffled Amethyst's hair with a laugh.
"Hey, not the hair!" Amethyst readjusted her mane fussily. I looked at the two of them with a smile. Rough and tumble gems… It was quite sweet really. Jasper had seen Amethyst was upset about something and needed to… vent, I guess.
"Let's go" Jasper nodded in the direction of the warp pad.
"Fine… Just give me a sec" Amethyst trotted off down one of the narrow aisles and disappeared from view. Jasper walked up to me with a hugely satisfied grin on her face.
"Darling, that was…" I began with a little laugh.
"Impressive? Amazing? Sexy?" she smirked.
"Sweet…" I said quietly, then stood on tip toe to kiss her cheek. "Very sweet" her face flushed slightly and I giggled. "And impressive. And amazing. And…" I leaned in closer and slid my hand over her bum, giving it a squeeze. "Sexy…"
"Guh! I leave for five seconds and you're already groping each other?" Amethyst groaned theatrically at us.
"Just a little" I sniggered and gave Jasper's taught rump another squeeze. She chuckled appreciatively.
We made our way back through the maze of junk, Jasper and Amethyst continuing to call each other names in a casual sort of way. I burst out laughing when Amethyst called Jasper 'a pussy binging pony lover' and ten or so bright butterflies joined us on the warp pad. It wasn't only Amethyst that was in a better mood now and I grinned up at Jasper fondly, taking her hand in mine.
"Will you warp us, babe?"
"Sure darling… Jump!" the lights sprang into life around us with a ping and soon the barn appeared in front of us. We made it up the hill and I stopped for a moment to take in the scene. Pearl, Steven, Garnet and Peridot were hard at work, picking apart a huge tangle of what looked like random metal parts and wooden debris. The area in front of the barn was less muddy now, but there was even more stuff spread around it then last time I was there. The storm must have come through here as well. Yes, definitely I decided after seeing some planks sticking out of the barn wall and uprooted trees near the edge of the forest.
"Holy fuck balls…" I breathed, thinking that there must be much more than just seventeen hours work to do here.
"About time you showed up!" Peridot griped at us as we approached the gems. Amethyst tensed up noticeably and looked away from her. What was going on here?
"What are we doing?" Jasper asked loudly.
"We are sorting this collection of scrap metal. You three can start by clearing sector twelve"
"Sector twelve?" I asked confusedly.
Peridot frowned at me like I was being deliberately dense. "The area behind the barn? Oh! Does no one read their emails?!" she grumbled and stomped back to the metal pile.
"How would she have my email?" I asked aloud, then checked my phone. I found an email marked urgent in my spam folder from a peridot5XG .
"Don't even bother adding her to your contacts" Amethyst huffed. "She'll fill your inbox with anything she finds funny. Which could be absolutely anything. Heh, this one time she sent me…" she trailed off and her eyes darkened. "Let's just get this over with…" she started to walk toward the other end of the barn. I exchanged a look with Jasper, who shrugged.
Amethyst, Jasper and I worked together to rid our assigned area of debris. Jasper and Amethyst taking the really heavy stuff, naturally. I had to stop and fan my face a little after I saw Jasper pick up an entire fallen tree and carry it off to one side with no apparent effort. Amethyst sniggered at me when she noticed.
"You're balls deep into that aren't you?" she smirked at me as she kicked the dirt off a tire before throwing it onto a pile. I let out a surprised little laugh.
"Jesus, Amethyst"
"Hey, no judgement here" she held up her hands and closed her eyes.
"What is the 'that' that I'm supposed to be balls deep into, exactly?" I asked with a grin.
"You know, that whole 'I can lift a house'-deal. Big, buff… stuff"
"Yes. Most definitely" I said seriously. "Didn't know how much, to be honest. I've always liked tall girls, but I'm quite tall as it is. Hard to find you know, ladies taller than me. Not that short women were a deal breaker, but there's just something… And Jasper's got more of the something than I've ever seen. Confidence. Mhm… confidence…"
"Confidence, eh? What's the size of her confidence exactly?" she waggled her eyebrow at me and I let out another laugh.
"If she hasn't told you, I'm not going to" I shook my head at her with a grin. "And that wasn't what I was talking about, just fyi"
"Riiiight" she said sarcastically.
"So what floats you boat then?" I asked curiously.
"Oh you know" she said nonchalantly. "Women, men… everything in between, tall, short, wide, skinny… Amethyst welcomes all"
"Really?"
"Yeah, it's all just… bodies with minds in, right?"
"That's really beautiful, Amethyst" I said with a smile. "Are you… seeing anyone right now?"
"Nah…" she picked up a couple of branches as I dug out a tricycle. "Used to be with Vidalia, back in the day, before she met Marty, Sour Cream's dad, then a bit on and off. Then Yellow Tail came along and there was little Onion… Had the odd little yummy treat at a concert, a couple of one night stands… Been a bit of a dry spell lately, though"
"Oh, that sucks"
"No, that's the problem" she sniggered. Jesus, she had a filthy mind. Awesome.
"Is that what you're looking for, just a little… roll in the hay?"
"I'm not planning on pulling a Rose or anything" she said with a sigh. "But I wouldn't mind, you know… a bit more than just hello hot stuff, let's fuck, see you never…"
"Bit more of the hello hot stuff, let's fuck, see you at dinner?"
"Yeah, more like that" she snickered. "But that stuff's kinda scary, you know?"
"How so?"
"All the little things, like remembering important dates and… exactly what lies you told them and such…"
"Lies?" Amethyst blushed a bit.
"Well, it's a bit… difficult with humans, me being purple and all. I've had all sorts of lines prepared, like it's just body paint or a full body tattoo or, like, I have a genetic abnormality or whatevs… Not everyone's down with purple. And I'm not keen on telling every single person I boink that hey, guess what, I'm the result of a failed alien invasion to your planet thousands of years ago, and also I'm older than the Reman Empire" she kicked a clod of earth with a frown. "Freaks people out, that stuff. Well, except for Vidalia. And Greg. And you. But Vi wanted that whole… family thing"
"That not something you want?"
"Nah… I mean kids are cool and all, but I feel like I'm still a kid, in a way. Not that I ever was a kid, but… I don't know…" she rubbed her arm.
"Amethyst… Is everything… OK?"
"Pff, yeah – why wouldn't it be?" she put on a smile and shrugged her shoulders. "Besides, you're the one with all the drama going on lately. Pearl told me about the epic fight you and your sister had" I was taken a little aback with the sudden subject change.
"Y-yeah…" she looked at me as she threw the branches onto the combustible pile.
"Not something you wanna talk about?"
"Not… really no" I felt a surge of sadness flood my chest.
"Sorry man. Fighting like that's… hard"
"Yes… Um. Would you excuse me a moment?"
"Uh, sure" she gave me an uncertain look. I walked over to Jasper who was just picking up a rusted car door.
"Hey babe, how's it going?"
"Hug break?" I asked and Jasper's eyebrows wrinkled, then she put the door down and wiped her hands on her pants.
"Something happen?" she glanced over at Amethyst who stiffened and then hurried off to pick up more junk.
"Amethyst asked about the fight a bit" Jasper frowned for a moment, then held out her arms. "I think she was just changing the subject because we got close to something she didn't want to talk about" I said quietly as I leaned gratefully on Jasper's chest. She huffed slightly and stroked my back. "Please don't be mad at her… I was just taken a little off guard is all"
She sighed and put her gem in my hair. "I'll try not to"
After a minute or so in her embrace I felt better. "Thanks darling" I said as I broke the hug. "Hug breaks were a great idea"
"I have lots of great ideas" she said with a smile.
"Yes you do" I pulled out a cigarette and lit it by saying 'genius beastie' and Jasper snickered as the pale orange lightning arced through the air. "Hey, darling?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you and Amethyst ever… hug?" she looked at me with an amused grin.
"No, babe, we don't"
"Why not?"
"I don't really… hug – well, I hug you. And Steven, Connie and Charlie, but not other people. I wrestle Amethyst instead I guess"
"Do you remember… the first time we made Echo… she had a thought about Amethyst, that she needed a kiss and a cuddle?"
"Oh yeah" Jasper smiled reminiscently. "Didn't she say it out loud?"
"That's right, she did… What I mean is, do you think she ever got it? The kiss and cuddle?"
"Uh… no idea"
"Maybe she needs one? She looked so sad before…" I looked over at Amethyst pulling a large root out of the ground. "When we talked she sounded like she was lonely too"
"Something's bothering her, sure. Don't know what, but… that was what the stuff in her room was for. So she wouldn't have to talk about it, she could just… get it out of her system anyway"
"Darling…" I looked up at her fondly. "You are such a good friend to her" Jasper blushed slightly. "You are…" now she smiled at me a little embarrassedly.
"She's fun to be around"
"I like her too" I looked over at her again. "And I really want to go over there and hug her, but I don't think it's me she needs a hug from"
"Maybe she just needs a hug?"
"But does she want one?" I pondered aloud. Jasper chuckled at me.
"Go find out" she stroked my back slowly. "I think… I should go pick up that mess over there" she pointed to a half buried car under a bunch of fallen saplings. I gave her a grin, knowing she was removing herself slightly out of respect for Amethyst. I stubbed out my cigarette and walked over to the purple gem. She looked up at me apprehensively, but relaxed a bit when she saw I was smiling at her.
"You… ok there, E?" she asked tentatively.
"I'm OK… Do you want to… hug?"
"Uh…" she glanced over at Jasper. Then in a voice that sounded both a little uncertain and amused, she said; "Sure, E, I'll hug ya"
We embraced each other. The top of her head was on a level with my collarbones, so her massive amount of hair was in my face. It felt different from Jaspers, a little less dense maybe, but still impossibly soft. She smelled nice too, a kind of subtle sweet and earthy, like an unripened melon.
"I have a big mouth sometimes… sorry" she said as she relaxed.
"It's OK, I was just taken a little off guard…" I decided she was the one who had to choose to break the hug and just stood there, breathing deeply. It was a nice hug… After a long moment, she drew in a breath to say something, but before she could get it out there was an indignant little noise from over to my left.
"Opff! You should be working, not hugging!" Peridot's voice was petulant. Amethyst stiffened and I felt her swallow before she stepped back from me slowly, her lips pursed in disapproval. Her arms folded protectively across her chest and she half turned away from the green gem.
"Peridot, take it easy" I said with a frown. "We were just taking a little break"
"Break? You've hardly even cleared half this sector!" she pointed to the different piles.
"That's stuff that's been sorted, see – that's compost, that's plastic, that's metal, and that's the random shit pile. We thought maybe you'd want to use something we found…"
Peridot frowned at me, then her face relaxed slightly and she cleared her throat. "Well. Carry on then" she glanced at Amethyst's back and her little fist clenched. "I like your organizational pattern, keep doing that!" she screeched and then spun on her heel and stomped off. My eyes had widened at her sudden outburst – the words she had said and the way it had been delivered clashed in my mind.
"Gudars skymning… is she always so… um" what word would best describe this? "T-tightly wound?" I tried. Amethyst huffed.
"Yeah… Right little powder keg, our Peri…" she grumbled, then stooped to pick up half a coffee mug and threw it onto the random pile. "Better get back to it…"
I looked after the green gem. Something must have happened between them, and neither of them seemed the kind of people to talk openly about their feelings – well, willingly. Peridot's little moment at Rose's sanctuary was the result of being pushed, or at least that's what I figured. And Jasper had told me she had provoked Amethyst to get her to vent without having to talk about it. I decided I'd just say one thing and then leave it.
"Hey, Amethyst…"
"What?"
"If you ever want to talk…" I smiled at her faintly and her face relaxed a bit, then she looked away from me.
"Yeah, thanks…" she said quietly. I wasn't sure if she believed me. A part of me ached to go hug her again, but I had decided that that was it. If she wanted to talk, she knew, or had at least heard, that she could talk to me. I started walking over to a patch we hadn't yet covered and bent down to pick up a water damaged book. If it got to dry, maybe it could still be read? I brushed the wet mud off the cover. It was called 'Pretty Hairstylist'. Maybe not something to keep then. I put it down as the start of my new random pile. After about twenty minutes or so I felt the need to go to the bathroom. I was pretty sure the barn didn't have one, so I headed into the trees and squatted down behind a thick patch of brambles. A blackbird hopped out of a hole in a tree and settled on a nearby branch to look at me with a beady eye.
"Perv" I sniggered as I pulled my shorts up – the bird flew off with a tweet. I made my way back to the back of the barn and found Jasper and Amethyst as Purple Puma having a bit of a wrestle. I smiled at the sight. Maybe Jasper had seen Amethyst needed some TLC. It really was cute that that's how they expressed their affection.
"Who's winning?" I asked with a smile as they rolled past me in a cloud of dust. Amethyst let out a laugh and caught Jasper in a headlock.
"I am" Jasper said and gave me a crooked grin.
"Who's got who in a headlock, huh?" Amethyst huffed.
"Not for long" Jasper growled, then threw Amethyst over her shoulder and pinned her with her arm behind her back. "Hah, what do you say, runt?" Amethyst panted a moment and strained to get free, then gave up.
"Prime's got nothing on this Beta" she grunted in a sing-song voice and Jasper released her arm immediately. Amethyst stood up and returned to her normal shape, brushing herself off with a grin.
"Where'd you go, babe?" Jasper asked as she brushed herself down too.
"Just needed to pee" I giggled and stood on tip toe to remove a twig from her hair.
"How about a kiss for the winner?" she grinned crookedly at me. Our lips met and Amethyst groaned beside us. Jasper glanced at her and then back at me as we broke apart, then gave me a wink. "Think we're about ready to move on to the next section now. Race you!" she stepped away from me and turned into a large spinning Sonic like thing, then shot off. Amethyst laughed and copied her, dashing after her and knocking her to the side. I smiled to myself. If I didn't know any better I'd say they were like siblings. But maybe they were, in a way. Same mother planet, different Kindergartens. Sisters… I let out a sigh that had a bit of dark in it, but it was mostly pale yellow.
As I went to follow them I felt a cold burning sensation in my lower right abdomen. Fuck… Was it time for ovulation already? I pulled out my phone as I rubbed the aching spot and the pain subsided. Yep. Bout time… Crap. I reached into my EDC and took a few painkillers, then patted the bag as I buckled it shut. It had been a very good investment. But… with ovulation came something else, didn't it? I knew you could get pregnant at any time of the month, but the likelihood of conceiving was better at ovulation. I felt a tiny tingle of happiness inside and the image of the little white and brown haired toddler flashed across my mind. Was it too early in the relationship to start trying? I should bring it up with Jasper later, when we were alone.
At around midday Steven warped back to the house and returned a few minutes later with a large stack of steaming pizza boxes.
"Lunch break!" he called happily and we all gathered at the front of the barn. They had set up an improvised eating area by dragging two logs close together and put a door on two wooden crates as a table. I was ravenous and found my garlic tuna pizza quickly. I sat nestled between Jasper and Amethyst who both ate with gusto. Garnet had a slice, as did Peridot. Pearl sat next to Steven and politely declined when he offered her some.
"Mmph!" I hummed as I remembered Echo's request, I waved my hand in front of my face as I chewed. This was a great opportunity to show them, since they were all here. "Darling, Echo's video" I looked up at her.
"Oh yeah" she said with her mouth full. She wiped her hand on her pants before reaching into her pocket and taking out her tablet. She tapped at it, then paused. "Should we show the whole thing or just the last bit?"
"Skip to the end, please"
"What are you talking about?" Steven asked with a broadening grin, leaning forwards playfully. Jasper smiled at him.
"Echo has a message for you. All of you"
"Really?" Steven asked excitedly.
"Echo has a message… for us?" Pearl's eyebrows rose in surprise and Garnet grinned widely. Peridot looked a bit doubtful. Jasper nodded and held out the tablet to Steven. He took it and the other gems crowded around him. Echo's beautiful voice started to flow from the speaker.
"Hello everyone. I have a request… I would quite like to meet other fusions, to talk – Garnet, I would love if you and I could have a conversation… And I'm so curious to meet Opal and what was it… Stevonnie? And the others too. Is that something you would be interested in? Please let Jasper and Erica know. Hope to see you soon"
"A fusion playdate!" Steven said with stars in his eyes. Pearl's hand had risen to her mouth, her cheeks a bit flushed, but she was smiling faintly. Garnet grinned even broader than before. Amethyst gave Pearl a dig in the ribs.
"How 'bout it, P? Wanna take Opal for a spin?" as Pearl sputtered slightly my eyes were drawn to Peridot. She had taken a step away from the others and looked quite forlorn. When she noticed me looking she blushed, then pursed her lips and sat down next to Garnet.
"Stevonnie would love to meet Echo!" Steven exclaimed happily. "When was she thinking?"
"She didn't give us a date" Jasper chuckled. "She wanted to know if you were interested in meeting"
"Yes, oh, I'm gonna text Connie right now!" Steven handed the tablet back to Jasper and took out his phone.
"Ahem, uh, well, forming Opal…" Pearl began, but Amethyst interrupted her.
"I wonder who's taller, Opal or Echo? Oh, what's Echo´s weapon like?"
"Weapon?" I turned to look at Amethyst.
"Yeah, like your gem weapon. My whip and Pearl's spear becomes a bow. But, you don't have a gem weapon, do you?"
"Uh… don't think so?" I said uncertainly.
"Echo's got Erica's vocal powers, but amplified" Jasper said proudly. "She hasn't summoned my helmet yet. Hasn't needed to" she leaned back cockily.
"Pff… I bet Opal could take Echo in a fight" Amethyst said with a smirk.
"Noo, not fighting" Steven pleaded. "Echo wanted to talk"
"I'd gladly have a conversation with her" Garnet said with a nod. I felt my ears burn with happiness. "And I'm sure she and Sardonyx could have all sorts of fun together" she patted Pearl on the shoulder and the pale gem smiled hesitantly.
"Hey, what about Sugilite? Don't forget the big purple boss! She's definitely taller than Echo"
"Mmm…" Garnet hummed uncertainly. "She did behave last time…"
"Aww yissss!" Amethyst pumped her arm in celebration. "Bigger, better!"
"Hmhm" Pearl trilled and made a twirling hand gesture. "I'm sure Sardonyx would very much like to pick Echo´s brain – she's very inquisitive"
"And a bit of a show off" Amethyst sniggered and gave Pearl's shoulder a playful push. I looked around at all of them with a broad smile.
"Echo's going to be so happy" I said excitedly, grabbing Jasper's arm. A few bright butterflies appeared and Jasper watched them for a moment before meeting my gaze with a warm, crooked smile.
"Yeah, she is" she said quietly.
"This is going to be so much fun!" Steven cheered.
"Yes, I'm sure you'll all have a marvelous time" Peridot said sarcastically. "Now can we get back to work?"
"Peridot, we're not done eating yet" Steven smiled at her. "Would you like another slice of pizza?"
"No thank you" she huffed and stood up. "I'm going to go keep working" she stalked off into the barn. Steven watched her go with a concerned look on his face.
"Is… Peridot alright?"
"I think she's anxious to move back in" Pearl said and patted him on the shoulder.
Amethyst huffed and flicked her hair. "More like she can't stand it when other people have fun" her voice was uncharacteristically cold.
"Amethyst…" Garnet said warningly.
"We agreed we were going to make more of an effort with her" Pearl looked at Amethyst disapprovingly.
"Whatever…" Amethyst said sulkily, sitting down next to me again and crossing both her arms and legs. Tense silence stretched for a moment.
"So um… What's Sugilite, that's her name right? What's she like?" I asked Amethyst as casually as I could. She didn't answer.
"She's really cool" Steven said, filling the silence. "Like, super tall, huge! And she's got four arms, and five eyes!"
"Five?" unbidden an image of Shelob from Lord of the Rings appeared in my mind. Out of all his many monsters, I had always found her the most disgusting. I'd much rather face Sauron himself, given the choice.
"Yeah, and fangs!"
"Fangs?" Jasper smirked down at me and rubbed her shoulder where I had bitten her yesterday – that summoned a much better mental picture than Shelob. I felt my ears heat up.
"And a flail" Amethyst supplied a bit reluctantly.
"Branched or single?" I asked interestedly.
"Single" she said, unfolding her arms. "But it's huge"
"Like the Lich King's flail?" Jasper asked.
"'Lich King'?" Pearl's eyebrows creased.
"It's from Lord of the Rings" Jasper explained with a smile.
"Oh you are such a nerd!" Amethyst burst out. "You've completely ruined her, E"
"Auta miqula orqu, you little shit" Jasper chuckled and pushed Amethyst off the log behind my back.
"You wanna go again, limp stem?" Amethyst said as she got to her feet.
"Language, please!" Pearl gasped and put her hands over Steven's ears. Her cheeks had gone bright blue.
"After lunch, Ai' atar" Jasper smirked and took another slice of pizza as I burst out laughing.
"What did she call me?" Amethyst looked at me.
"First she told you to go kiss an orc. And, hah – Ai' atar means 'little father' – it's a sweet thing to call an adult male dwarf!" I laughed some more.
"Adult male…?" then the penny dropped for Amethyst. "Oh, fuck you!" she said with a huge smile.
"Amethyst!" Pearl barked.
The purple gem leant in close and asked me in a whisper; "Hey, E, what's the word for huge nerd?"
I cleared my throat and threw a glance at Jasper before saying; "Beleger*"
"Hey, Ass-per, you're a Beleger" Amethyst said cockily and it was Jasper's turn to laugh. She looked at me fondly, then responded;
"Yup, sure am"
"If you're quite done with the insults" Pearl glared between the two of them before uncovering Steven's ears.
"For now" Amethyst sniggered and helped herself to more pizza.
When I was finished eating I leaned back and lit a smoke with a giggled 'Beleger'. Pearl stared at me with raised eyebrows, as did Steven.
"Whoa!" he breathed. "I didn't know you could do that!"
"Me neither" Pearl said, sounding pleasantly surprised. "You and I need to have a private session soon, Erica"
"Oh, yes, I'd love to" I said with a bright smile. It had been a while now. Pearl's eyes lingered on mine for a moment. I got the feeling there was something she wanted to talk to me about. A little spasm of dread twisted in my chest.
When we were done with lunch Jasper and Amethyst sauntered over to our next area. Their boisterous laughs floated toward me on the wind. I got to my feet slowly and helped Pearl clean up a bit as Steven and Garnet went to join Peridot in the barn. My stomach seared icily again and I rubbed at it with a grimace, a few red sparks left me.
"Too much pizza?" Pearl asked with a half worried smile.
"No, just… um… things" I said uncertainly.
"Oh" she stopped folding the pizza boxes and her cheeks went blue. "Um… Erica?"
"Yes, Pearl?"
"H-how… are you?" she looked at me with slightly concerned eyes. I felt a surge of sadness well up inside.
"Um, I – " I stopped when I saw the puff of dark purple, red and black leave me. Pearl's eyes focused on it.
"Oh…" then her gaze met mine.
"Pearl, I don't… really want to talk about it… today. I was kind of hoping to get out of my own head for a while. Sort of… let it settle a little" the image of Victoria's unmoving body under the planks flashed across my mind.
"Oh, I'm sorry…"
"But there is one thing" I steeled myself. "One thing you guys should know… Maybe it's better if I show you…" I mumbled.
"What's that?"
"If I show you a memory… can we not talk too much about it afterwards? I really don't know more than it shows, but you… should know"
"O-of course, Erica…" she stepped closer to me, looking both curious and worried. I closed my eyes a moment and the memory leapt onto my internal screen immediately. The howling wind, the cold rain… and out of it walked… Lapis… And then I was running, then slipping and then I looked down on Victoria – I breathed out and my throat tingled – that curious feeling as if the air was being sucked from my lungs filled me and I opened my eyes in surprise. A small but very dense looking cloud of purple, green and black surged and rolled as it drifted slowly toward the ground. It looked… agitated.
"This is new" Pearl said fascinatedly. "I must remember to write it down later – may I?"
"Brace yourself, I don't know where it ends…" Pearl sat down on the ground and let the cloud fall into her hands – for a moment she held it as if it was a solid thing, but then it floated through her fingers. Her eyes snapped shut for almost a minute and I could hear her mumbling. Then she opened her eyes again and stared at the ground for a moment, taking calming breaths.
"Oh my stars…" she said slowly.
"Are you OK?"
"Yes… I'm fine"
"Did… you guys know she was here?"
"We had no idea… Why did she…" she met my gaze and fell silent.
"I don't know why… But without her… help… Victoria might have um… died" I looked down on the ground. The little voice inside snickered. You used to want her to die… You wished and wished so much that they all would just… cease to be… Yes… I did, I admitted. There was no point in lying to the voice, it knew the truth. If she had died… Maybe Charlie could be yours– a spasm of rage surged through me. "No! That's not what I want!" a burst of blue sparks flew from me, then my eyes widened and I clapped my hand across my mouth. Fuck, it had made me so mad I said it aloud! I glanced at Pearl – she looked spooked. My knees went suddenly weak and I sat down rather hard on to the log. I felt my chest begin to constrict.
"A-are you OK?" she asked worriedly.
"Sometimes… some crimes" I began to sing to myself, rubbing my chest. I closed my eyes so I wouldn't have to look at Pearl's anxious face. What the voice had said, oh! It made me feel so disgusted. I heard Pearl take a step toward me and then she sat down on the log next to me. She put a tentative hand between my shoulder blades. Just like she had done in the desert… I finished the song quietly, then opened my eyes again and tried to calm my breath further.
"What… happened there?"
"Unpleasant… thought…" I said quietly.
"I see…" Pearl let out a sad sigh.
"Could you tell the others? About… her? I feel like a heel for asking, just don't think I could deal with… everyone's questions and or reactions. But they need to know… Gods…" I put my head in my hands and rubbed my temples.
"I'll tell them" she said reassuringly and patted my back gently. "And I'll ask them not to bother you with questions. I saw what happened…"
"Thanks Pearl" we fell silent for a while. Pearl's hand moved in little circles on my back and I was very grateful for it. I tried to rid my mind of the awful feeling the voice had given me.
Quick footsteps approached and Peridot strode into view. She looked at us sternly at first, but then her expression softened.
"This is one of the times where I shouldn't… raise my voice, right?" she asked Pearl.
"That is correct" Pearl said carefully, putting her other hand on my shoulder a little protectively.
"Alright" she cleared her throat. "Please get back to work" she put her hands behind her back and marched away. Somehow it was both touching, annoying and hilarious at the same time and I let out a slightly confused breath of mirth.
Pearl relaxed beside me. "I really thought she was going to yell at us" she said with a relieved smile.
"Yeah me too…" I rubbed my knees, wondering if they would carry me. "Maybe we should get back to it?"
"Are you OK?"
"OK enough" I gave her a thin smile, then stood up slowly. Pearl rose to her feet too and gave my shoulder a little pat.
"That word – beleger? It doesn't mean huge nerd, does it?" she asked curiously.
"No, it means 'Mighty one'" Pearl smiled appreciatively.
I walked toward Jasper and Amethyst, rubbing my smarting belly and trying not to think about what the voice had said. I knew it was just another part of me that had spoken, not like a different being or anything. A part I did not like... But it was still me. My thought. Which meant that somewhere I had had it, somewhere I wanted it. I would give anything to be a bigger part of Charlie's life, but I wouldn't take anything from someone else to make it so. Especially not someone's actual life… Gods I felt so disgusted… Jasper appeared in my field of vision suddenly and I stopped in my tracks.
" - you hear me?" her face looked worried.
"Sorry?"
"I was talking to you, babe" her eyebrows furrowed. "Didn't you hear me?"
"Uh, no… sorry I was um… thinking" the cold burning sensation came back and I drew in a breath through my teeth. Jasper looked down at my hand rubbing the aching spot. "What… um, what did you say?"
"I was asking if you could take a picture of me and Amethyst on that" she pointed over her shoulder to a huge uprooted tree – Amethyst was swinging from one of the long roots and whooping. "But that can wait…" she lifted my chin and looked me in the eye. "Tell me what's wrong"
I hesitated for a moment before answering. I didn't want to tell her about the little voice.
"I… just told Pearl about Lapis, to get it out of the way… I asked her not to ask me a lot of questions about it and if she could tell the others, so I wouldn't have to… Don't think I could um… deal with their reactions. Not today"
"Good thinking, babe. Did… she ask you questions?"
"She started to, but stopped" Jasper glanced down at my stomach again. "I'm um… ovulating…"
"That's the thing… without the bleeding, that still hurts?" I nodded at her.
"But it's not that bad…" she gave me a doubtful look, then put her hand on my belly, heating it slowly. I let out a sigh as the pain ebbed. I gave myself a little mental shake. I accept that I have a part that thinks the bad thoughts, I told myself. I am a good person, I treat people well – unless they're complete bastards. And that's OK, I'm not a saint. I am – mostly – human and there is no such thing as perfect. Except for Jasper. She is fucking perfect, isn't she? Or as close as can be achieved. I looked up at her fondly. My caring, wonderful beastie… So thoughtful, so kind…
Jasper smiled at me warmly. "Does that feel better?"
"Much better, Melamin…" I put my hand on hers and caressed her knuckles.
"Are we taking a picture or what!?" Amethyst shouted from the tree.
"Hang on a minute" Jasper said over her shoulder.
"It's OK, beastie" I smiled at her. "Give me your tablet?"
"You sure? How's the pain?"
"It's gone for now" I patted her hand. "Now get up there and look pretty for your little monster" Jasper gave me an amused smirk and kissed my forehead before she handed me her tablet. Then she turned around and jumped up on the huge trunk. I took a few pictures of them posing impressively, then flipped over into video mode and recorded them messing around for a minute or so. It was really endearing.
"How are we going to move this thing?" I asked as they both jumped down a little while later. "Can you lift it darling?"
"Hmm…" we all looked at the tree. It was enormous. Probably more than a yard and a half in diameter and around forty feet long. "Might be stretching it"
"Pff… this little thing?" Amethyst said and laughed. "Come on, Beleger… Give it a go!"
Jasper rubbed her hands together and cricked her neck.
"Careful, darling" I said a little worriedly.
Jasper walked up to the middle of the tree and squatted down, then rammed her hands under it and Amethyst started to chant.
"Jas-per, Jas-per, Jas-per! Woop! Woop! Oh, shit, oh shit!"
Jasper grunted and growled and slowly, slowly the enormous trunk started to lift off the ground. I stared in amazement, the hairs on the back of my neck standing on end. Sweat ran down Jasper's face and with a 'Thoom!' her helmet appeared. The trunk was level with her knees and it creaked and groaned loudly. I looked down on Jasper's shaking legs, then noticed cracks in the ground radiating from her feet. She might be able to lift the tree, but could the ground support them both?
"Darliiing…" I said slowly. "I think you should put it down…" Amethyst turned to me with an affronted look on her face.
"Dude! She can do it, she is doing it!"
"Yeah, I know, but the ground" I pointed at the rapidly expanding cracks.
"Oh shit! Jazzy-pee put it down!"
"What?!" Jasper grunted, red in the face.
"Put! It! Down!" Amethyst and I both shouted at her. With a grunt she let the tree go and it thudded down on the ground with an almighty crash that was far louder than I had expected. Jasper panted and leaned against the trunk with both hands, sweat dripping onto the ground.
"Are you OK, darling?" I asked as I hurried up to her, putting a hand on her trembling back.
"Give me a" she paused to draw in a huge breath. "Minute…"
"Boosh!" Amethyst danced up next to her. "That was badass, Jayster! Too bad the ground couldn't take it"
Jasper looked down at the cracked earth and chuckled exhaustedly. With another 'Thoom!' her helmet vanished.
"That was incredible, darling…" I said, feeling terribly impressed.
Jasper panted hard for a while, then stood up and stretched her back with a grunt.
"Stars… that fucker's heavy…" she said with a crooked grin. I noticed she was rubbing the part of her lower back that pained her sometimes.
"Darling, how's your back?"
"'s fine" she grimaced and straightened up, looking over my shoulder. I turned around.
"You should be careful, Jasper" Pearl said reproachfully. "Let's work smart, not hard. Amethyst? Could you saw through this thing with your spin dash?"
"Yeah, probably" the purple gem said with a shrug.
"Good, alright, let's get it into six pieces to begin with" the two of them walked off.
"How's your back, really?" I asked worriedly.
"Hurts" Jasper grunted and sagged now that no one else was looking.
"Can I help? Where does it hurt?" Jasper pointed to her lower back. "Is it like… burning? Tension? Does it feel like something… needs to snap back into place?"
"Third option, fuck"
"Alright, um… try this" I sat down and put one leg over the other. Jasper copied me, wincing. "Then you just – twist" I felt my back crack slightly and some tension I hadn't realized I had been carrying vanished. "Oh… that's sooo much better…" I breathed. Jasper looked at my dazed face with a slightly pained grin, then twisted herself. There was a loud series of cracks and she yowled feraly.
"Fuuuck meeee…" she panted as her body relaxed. "Don't let me do something like that again…"
"I'll do my best, beastie" I smiled and patted her thigh. "It was very impressive, though"
"Yeah, I know" she grinned cockily at me, then got to her feet and stretched. "Mmh! Better to keep to the little things, like cars"
Garnet and Steven joined Amethyst and Pearl by the big tree. Peridot was still over in front of the barn, tapping on her tablet. She bent to pick something up and seemed to struggle with it.
"I'll go help Peridot" I said to Jasper as Amethyst jogged by, rolling a five foot long and three feet wide piece of the trunk like it was nothing. "More my speed over there" I pointed to Peridot.
"OK, babe" she gave me a kiss on the cheek, then cracked her knuckles impressively.
I walked over to the little green gem. She was huffing and puffing dragging what looked like a cast iron ladder through the dirt.
"Need some help?" I asked and she looked up at me.
"Yes"
We carried the heavy ladder into the barn and put it against the far back wall. I looked around in there, realizing I hadn't actually set foot in there before. Barns, in my experience, were always full of hay or straw and I was kind of disappointed to not be enveloped by the wonderful smell they produced. There were all sorts of things in here, everything from paint cans to what looked like a propeller in a corner. Most of the stuff seemed to be mechanical or electrical in various stages of repair. The half-finished tractor stood in the center, a tool box open next to it.
"You are… were? a technician, right?" I asked as I wiped my hands on my shorts.
"Yes. And I am a certified Kindergartner" she said, patting the ladder thoughtfully, perhaps wondering if it'd look better somewhere else.
"What does that… entail?"
"We managed the Kindergartens. Made sure the injectors were functioning correctly, greeted newly emerged gems, maintained the integrity of the surrounding rock…" she let out a sigh and for a moment she looked sadly into the distance. "I was made for making gems and now I make… nothing"
I felt a little uncomfortable. Peridot and I had barely talked before and when we had it had been mostly… not very pleasant.
"Don't you um… make merp derps?" I asked carefully.
"Meep morps"
"Sorry"
"Steven calls it 'art' but I like Lapis' term better" I stiffened at the mention of the name. Shit. How would she react to Pearl telling her about Lapis helping me in the storm? She had been so upset with our fight… Finding out that your roommate might have taken you prisoner… She must have felt so betrayed… Crap. Change the subject or you're going to have to tell her, and then she'll get angry or worse and you can't deal with that right now. Let Pearl do it. Pearl's got your back in this. I took a calming breath.
"How's the um… tractor coming along?"
"It's still missing some parts. Do you happen to have a three inch camshaft sprocket in your possession?"
"Uh… don't think so, sorry"
"Hmm" she hummed as she picked up a cardboard box full of screws. "Could you hand me that leverage optimizer?"
"The what now?"
"Oh, what did Ameth…" her voice trailed off and she got a grumpy look on her face. "Screwdriver" she growled and thrust out a hand to me. I picked up the tool and gave it to her gingerly. Jesus she switched gears quickly. Powder keg was an apt description. Peridot stomped over to the tractor and threw the box on the ground. I walked past her carefully – she was picking up some screws that had fallen out of the box and grumbling menacingly under her breath. She seemed completely absorbed in what she was doing and didn't notice me leaving.
I let out a breath of relief as I stepped around the corner. Gods, my feelings were just all over the place today… I lit a smoke and walked slowly round the barn to the back where we had started the clean up this morning. It looked… neat now. The piles nicely organized. Maybe Peridot would find a use for some of the stuff we had found. She certainly had a lot of firewood now, even if she didn't need it. I had no idea if she did. A mental image of the little green gem sitting by a campfire appeared in my head. Was that how it had been? She and… Lapis just… living out here, sitting by the fire at night, telling stories of the good ol' time six thousand years ago, before the war? Or perhaps they were talking about newer things… It was so strange and oddly disturbing to think that Lapis could do something as normal as that – just sit and talk… Fuck… How did I feel about her now? It was so confusing… She had tried to kill me and Jasper – then she helped me save my sister. Would she have attacked if it had been me and Jasper out in the storm? I winced as my ovary twinged and seared suddenly.
"Sonofabitch" I hissed, some red sparks leaping from my mouth. As I rubbed the area I realized I needed another bathroom break. I walked into the forest and hunkered down behind a large tree with a sigh. When I was on my way back I spied Amethyst over by the metal pile and I was about to say hello when I saw her look around apprehensively. I stopped in my tracks. She took something out of her pocket, then grabbed a handful of dirt and rubbed it on the object before placing it on the pile and walking away hurriedly. What the hell? Immensely curious I slunk over to the pile and picked up the thing she had just put down. It was a toothed wheel, like a spiky cogwheel, about three inches in diameter. Oh. Ooh… I put it back down and smiled, shaking my head and looking after Amethyst. Gods, what must be going on between them? They were both mad at each other and they bickered and sulked, but then Amethyst still does something like this? It was the part Peridot had mentioned to me a little while ago. A cam sprocket or whatever. I think they were for putting chains on, like a bike chain, to drive something forward. Amethyst obviously wanted her to have it, but didn't want to give it to her in person… I decided to leave it alone, even though I was very curious to find out what had happened. Instead I went to a new sector and began to sort the not so heavy stuff.
When they were done with the huge tree Amethyst and Jasper joined me and we cleared the sector and moved on to the next.
At around five I took a water break and had an apple to hold me over until dinner. There was a handy log around the corner of the barn. My belly was troubling me quite a bit and I took some more painkillers. For a few hours my mind had been clear as I focused on sorting and carrying. As I sat on the log however a memory came floating back to me. It had been one of those little daytrips we took with dad sometimes. We had gone fishing by a lake and me and Victoria had had our little collapsible fishing poles. It had been so nice to just sit on a log, just like where I was now, and stare out onto the lake in silence. I remembered imagining what sort of creatures lived in there – everything from mermaids to water dragons. I don't think we actually caught any fish that day. It was just… nice… And peaceful. When we were getting into the car to drive home I had felt so sad. Because I knew it would be months until we would be able to do this again. Months of not being able to wear comfortable clothes, of sniping and nasty words, pushing and pinching, noise and clamor and so many, many hidden tears… That's when I decided I would tell dad how it was when he was away. ' – you went and lied to him about how mom was when he wasn't around – you were the problem – ', Victoria's words echoed in my head. The hateful tone sparked a wave of anguish and I quite lost my breath for a moment. The tears came fast and I put my head in my hands to steady myself. Oh, it hurt… Even so many years later my father's betrayal still ached… It would have been way less painful to have been hit for some other reason – for breaking some crazy rule – sure the blow would still be a blow, but the emotional part of it was so much bigger and heavier than that… He went to my mother and told her what I had said. Then she hit me. And nothing changed. Dad still didn't see… He could have stopped it… He could have done something… He could have trusted me…
After a while the wave passed and the memories crept back into the cracks in my soul. I wiped my cheeks and blew my nose on my handkerchief, feeling a bit silly now that it was over. I told myself I wasn't and that it was OK to cry. I didn't have to be ashamed of it anymore, no one was going to punish me for it. Or laugh. Feel the things, feel it all – let it wash over you, you will not drown… You always come back. You always resurface – now breathe…
"Breathe…" I sighed hoarsely, then took deep breaths until the world came into focus again. I lit a cigarette with slightly shaking hands, then wrung them together to try to get rid of the trembling. I accept the fact that this is happening, I told myself. I accept that the fight with Victoria dredged up a lot of old stuff. It is the past and it will remain the past. It's not like that now. You don't ever have to go back to that house. Now, you get to go home with the most beautiful person you've ever met. And she's making cheese burgers and potato wedges with garlic sauce for dinner. You are very lucky. Extremely lucky. But it's still OK to be sad. And you can be sad around her. She holds you. Hugs you. Kisses you. She loves you, despite… or maybe because of your past. It made you you. The person worthy of her love. That is more than enough… I sat up straighter, wincing only slightly as my ovaries protested. I finished my cigarette and then stood up slowly to avoid a head rush, then dusted myself off. I walked back around the corner to find Jasper and Amethyst had moved on to the next sector. As I approached them, Jasper looked up with a grin that faltered a little when she saw me. Crap.
"Honey?" she put down the trunk she was carrying and walked up to me.
"I'm OK" I said hoarsely. Amethyst looked up from what she was doing, then sauntered away. "But I wouldn't mind a hug" I smiled up at her weakly. Jasper enveloped me in her arms quickly, looking worried.
"What happened?"
"Just… memories" I mumbled against her chest. "Had a bit of a cry"
"Why didn't you say anything?"
"There wasn't time, it just… pounced on me. But it's OK, I'm OK…" I let out a long sigh and relaxed against her. I felt her shoulders drop when her tension disappeared and she stroked my back slowly. After a minute I broke the hug and looked up into her slightly less worried face. "Thank you, darling"
"You're welcome, babe" she smiled a little uncertainly. "How's the pain?" her eyes flicked down to my stomach and then back up.
"Annoying more than anything" I said but she didn't look convinced. "It's not as bad as the one I let you feel…"
"Well thank the stars for that" she let out a faint chuckle. "Still…" her hand moved onto my belly and warmed me. The pain fled and I let out a little sigh of relief – this made her smile more confidently. "We should be getting home soon"
"Yes, that'd be nice… I'm so looking forward to a shower… And dinner" I patted her arm. "How's your back?"
She threw an eye over her shoulder – Amethyst was out of earshot. "Bit sore"
"I could give you a massage when we get home" Jasper's face lit up.
"Babe, that'd be great" she leant down to kiss my lips and then my forehead. "Fuck I can't be arsed to do anymore heavy lifting today" she said and rolled her shoulders. "We've been at it since this morning – let's just call it a day"
"I'd love that"
We strode over to Amethyst hand in hand.
"We're calling it" Jasper said to her.
"Alright! I'm so done with this biz" she dropped the tire she was holding and dusted her hands off. We walked to the others and said goodbye. Peridot grumbled at first, but Garnet said this was good enough for today. We warped back to Steven's house and Jasper and I headed home. As we walked through the sand I took out my phone and called the landlord to ask about the cat flap. She said there was an old garden door with a flap in it in storage and she would be by tomorrow morning to replace it.
When we got home we went upstairs and had a long shower together.
"Oh my gods…" I sighed as I stepped into the warm spray. Jasper joined me in the shower stall and sat down with her back against the wall, but I remained standing for now.
"Stars…" she groaned and rubbed her shoulders. "I think I might have overdone it a bit…"
"Your shoulders hurt too?" I asked with concern.
"Most of me hurts…" she gave me a little embarrassed grin.
"Darling…" I put my hands on her shoulders and she looked up at me. When she was sitting down her gem was just above my belly button. "You should have said something… Now I'm going to have to rub you all over – oh, how terrible for me" I smiled at her and she grinned back. I moved behind her and started to rub her shoulders. They were quite tense but loosened up rather quickly. When we had washed ourselves clean we exited the shower and went downstairs and made dinner together which we ate at the kitchen table. It was divine, as always and I burped very happily afterwards. After I had done the dishes I went into the living room.
"Want to watch something while I massage your back?" I asked and Jasper raised an eyebrow.
"Sure, honey"
I put the laptop on the bed and she lay down on her stomach.
"Is it OK if I sit on your tush?" I patted her bum with a smile, making her chuckle.
"Go for it babe" I climbed on top of her as she started the next episode of Battlestar Galactica. I began to warm up her muscles and locate the problem areas. "Ohh, fuck, right there" Jasper hissed as I found a very tense knot.
"Want me to go soft or hard?"
"Soft, definitely soft" she said quickly.
"Alright… how's this?"
"Oh, bit slower… Mmmf…"
I massaged her for a good twenty minutes before the muscle relaxed. As it did she let out a huge sigh of relief.
"Babe… I fucking love you…" she said in a muffled voice. I sniggered and let my hands rest a moment.
"Love you too, beastie…" I had been wiggling around on her butt and was feeling quite aroused. "Hey darling?"
"Mhmm?"
"Can I… play with Kara?"
Jasper lifted her head and half turned to face me with a huge grin. "I have no objections whatsoever to that" she chuckled and paused the episode, then rolled onto her back.
"No, don't pause it… Let it play in the background…" I smiled at her and felt myself blush. "I just want to… play around with her, no pressure kind of thing…"
Jasper raised an amused eyebrow. "Alright" she resumed the episode and propped herself up on some pillows so she could see.
I began to caress her on the outside of her pants, trailing Kara's outline with my fingers. Just slowly, lightly. She squirmed under the cloth. After a few minutes I unzipped her pants and Kara wriggled free. I looked at her, took in the beauty of how she curved on her own, caressing Jasper's belly. I held out my finger and she wrapped around it eagerly, then moved up past my knuckle and into my palm. I folded my fingers around her and squeezed gently, pulling her out to her full extent. She didn't stay that way for very long and after a few seconds she started caressing Jasper's abs again. I lay down with my head on Jasper's belly so I could see better. I ran a finger from the base all the way to the tip and back down again very, very slowly. I could feel her pulse and saw her swell slightly as my warm breath flowed over her. Jasper let out a little grunt of pleasure.
"Having fun?" she asked huskily.
"Mhmm…" I hummed. I ran my hand through her pubes and pulled at them slightly, then let my hand push Kara upright. There was such a heaviness to her, I thought to myself. I ran my hand up and down her lower half slowly for a while, the tip waving and squirming happily. "She's so flexible…" I mused. I pulled her gently in all different directions, watching her move back to her starting position. I moved a little closer and she responded by trying to reach my lips. I moved closer still and her very tip brushed my lower lip. I saw a tremble run through her then and smiled. "Hello gorgeous…" I whispered, then I was rocked slightly as Jasper chuckled. I moved back a smidge and could see her skin begin to glisten – did the liquid emanate from the skin itself? The secretion built up slowly as I breathed on her and she seemed to swell further. Soon I could see the pulse beating through the soft skin. I leaned in half an inch and Kara reached for my mouth again. I felt Jaspers stomach muscles contract and she gave a little grunt – then Kara stroked my lips almost like she was applying lipstick. It was incredibly sensual – I took a quick breath and she trembled against my skin. I moved in another half inch, parting my lips to give her the tiniest kiss, she responded with a happy twitch. My nostrils almost burned with her scent, gods it was arousing… I parted my lips further and timidly licked her tip – Jasper gasped. She slid onto my tongue slowly, then looped down and caressed the underside. I felt my cheeks burning with heat as she went a little deeper, now sweeping over my tongue in a lazy, warm wave. Before I had met Jasper I had no idea that my mouth was so sensitive, but oh how I was learning now… I made quiet humming noises, enjoying her little trembling responses. I heard the episode end and the credits rolled to the outro. Then there was only Jasper's heavy breath and occasional moan.
"Babe…" Jasper panted from behind me.
"Mmmh?"
"I don't know how much longer I can… ah… hold on…" a thrill of excitement leapt in my belly, as did a cold pinch. I released Kara slowly, not wanting to break the slow rhythm.
"Don't hold back, darling…" I whispered, my hand caressing her upper thigh softly. She shuddered under my touch and I parted my lips again, welcoming Kara back inside with a gentle press up against the roof of my mouth. She was throbbing now and I heard Jasper's ramp up breaths – long and slow and utterly relaxed this time. I didn't change a thing, just kept on caressing her lovingly. After a sensual stuttering gasp from Jasper Kara stiffened momentarily and then trembled and writhed in ecstasy against my tongue. My mouth was flooded with her sweet release and I swallowed it slowly, still suckling her gently. I let out little moans of my own pleasure as Jasper's stomach tensed and shook. Another wave of liquid spilled into my mouth and I swallowed again, breathing heavily through my nose and digging my nails into Jasper's thigh. This made her hiss out a breath through her teeth and a large warm and trembling hand landed carefully on my shoulder.
"Nnngh" she grunted and Kara spasmed again, producing a third wave of sweetness. Then her body relaxed and her chest rose up and down quickly. I lifted my head slightly, still with the tip between my lips, so that my neck was spared the jostling. After a few seconds I let her go and she fell onto Jasper's stomach, stirring rather feebly. I smiled at this and turned to look up at Jasper's face. She looked dazed and her gem was glowing dully.
"B-babe…" she panted happily.
"Mmmyes?" I hummed sultrily, wiping a stray droplet of her juice from the corner of my mouth with my index finger.
"Ssssa-h nghat…"
I sniggered and lay down on her chest. "Have I just made you lose the ability to speak coherently?" she nodded with a huge grin on her face. "Bad, bad little monster" I shook my head and smiled before moving up further to kiss her wonderful lips. Her tongue caressed mine and her hands slid up my back. Our kiss went on for a long time, and when we finally broke it I looked down into her beautiful, predatory eyes.
"Wonderful, wonderful little curious monster…" she said croakily, then carefully tucked a lock of hair behind my ear.
"Mhm… Oh… I so need a cigarette" I sniggered, a few bright butterflies appearing. Jasper raised an eyebrow.
"You don't want me to…?"
"I'd love it if you did, but you don't have to"
"I want to, babe, stars you have no idea how much" she said with a lustful growl.
"Cigarette first – it'll give me a moment to calm down… Otherwise I'll come too fast"
Jasper groaned impatiently, then bit her lip. "Hurry, will you?"
"I'll be quick" I said with a smile, then got up. When I returned inside Jasper was lying naked on the bed. She got up when she saw me and smiled seductively.
"Why are you still wearing pants?" she asked with a purr in her voice.
"No idea" I breathed and began undressing. When they were gone I sat down on the edge of the bed. She knelt in front of me and spread my legs gently and kissed her way from my knee to my mound. As the first lick landed I let out a gasp of pleasure and lay back on the bed, letting my arms fall wherever. She chuckled into me and lifted my legs up and continued to lick me slowly, lightly …
"Stars, you're so wet…" she growled passionately, then began to suckle my clit greedily. Her tongue flicked it from time to time but mostly it was just gloriously slow, gentle, loving sucking. She moaned and slurped and soon I hit that plateau of pleasure, complete putty in her hands.
"Mmmmnnhh – beastie – ohh – !" I whined as I began to tremble, this made her snort lustfully and speed up. An icy pinch in the middle of all this pleasure made me twitch and gasp. "Ah! Ow!"
Jasper stopped and looked up, panting. "Wha-huh?"
"Hands, hands" I groaned and patted my lower abdomen. She put both her hands there, then looked at me again. "W-warm"
"Oh" she breathed and heat spread through me.
"K-keep… keep going" I begged.
"You sure?"
"Mhmm" I nodded emphatically and she leaned forward again, resuming her wonderful caresses. A minute later the wave struck and I growled out streams of gold and pink, with a hint of red. She soothed me down form my peak, gently rubbing my belly at the same time. My legs trembled against her arms and I panted heavily. Jasper kept her eyes on my face and softened her licks further.
She paused for a moment to ask; "Are you OK, honey?"
"Yeah… fuck… I was so not expecting that… oh, ow, ow gods, come on…" I winced and groaned as the pain returned sharply. Jasper's heat intensified and it was quite strange to see her look up from my vagina with a concerned expression on her face. Slowly she stopped licking and kissed my mound before resting her chin on it.
"Babe…" she sounded worried.
"I'm OK, darling" I panted and stroked her knuckles. "It's going away again…" she got up, but still kept one hand on my belly, then lay down next to me, Kara curling around my right leg that was still upright. She kissed my shoulder, neck, cheek and then my lips.
"You scared me" she whispered.
"What? I'm sorry, darling – how?"
"I thought I must have hurt you"
"Oh, sweetheart, no, no, no…" I lifted her chin so she'd look at me. "My ovaries just have really bad timing is all" I tried to sound as reassuring as I could in my post-orgasm state. Jasper relaxed against me and let out a long sigh and Kara slid down to rest on my mound. I snuggled in closer to her and she wrapped her other arm around me. "You are so wonderful, beastie…" I whispered against her chest.
"So are you, little monster…" she chuckled and Kara squirmed and slipped down between my lips, making me let out a little noise of surprise. "Oops" Jasper said apologetically and moved her hand from my belly to relocate her, but I grabbed her thumb before she could do so.
"Leave her there…" I said with a little smile, feeling my cheeks flush.
"Alright" she grinned. "She um… might go exploring"
"Then let her… explore…" I murmured and kissed her chest. "Just… keep your hand where it is, just in case?"
"Sure, babe…" she looked down at me. "It won't… hurt, right? If she goes… inside now?"
"She won't cause me any pain, darling… Sometimes it even feels better than usual to… be penetrated during ovulation. I think it's some evolutionary thing. Make it more pleasant to mate at a time when it's more likely to get pregnant – oh" Kara had just slid up over my clit for a moment before lowering to my opening.
"More likely to get pregnant?"
"Mhmm" I mumbled as she circled my entrance carefully. "Fertilization happens as the egg travels to the uterus, and then… then… oh…" the tip hand just slipped inside me.
"And then…?" she asked me huskily, kissing my neck.
"Then… the fertilized egg attaches to the wall of the… the… uterus… and grows – grows into a – ah – a baby" Jaspers hips started to move slowly. "I may be a little sore… all the way in… so be gentle – ahn"
"Do you want me to – nnf – try?"
"Try… what?" I closed my lips around her right nipple.
"To make the – ah, stars – the miss-missing ingred-ient?"
"We probably… should decide that when – when we're not… not horny as fuck – oh!"
"Y-yeah – sounds good!" she grunted as Kara squirmed inside me. "Ah, honey, you're holding me so tightly"
"You're s-so thick – oh my gohhds…" the sensation was more intense than usual and I panted into her skin. "D-darling, I'm not sore – could you go a little – fuck – little deeper?" she grunted lustfully in response and I gasped as she grazed my deep spot. "Oh my fucking gods – yes"
"I love being inside you like this" she panted. Over the next ten or fifteen minutes we kept the speed and intensity low. It was incredibly sensual and I felt so close to her. My voice rose in ecstasy, then a few seconds later Jasper joined me as my insides thrummed with the force of my orgasm. She trembled inside me as she flooded me with warmth. I ground against her some more, not willing to relinquish the feeling of fullness and pleasure and a second wave broke over me, quite taking my breath away. When my vision returned a dense cloud of pink and golden orange hung in the air in front of me.
"D-darling – you have to try that…" I panted, pointing at it with a grin. "While you're still inside?" she panted too and smiled before reaching up and brushing her fingers through it. A deep, lustful moan left her and to my delight she began to thrust with passion.
"Oh fuck – oh fuck – oh fuuuck!" a growling roar left her and her gem flashed brightly. It didn't quite bring me a third orgasm, but holy crap if it wasn't enjoyable anyway. She panted against me, trembling all over. "Erica… Katheryn… Brooks… You are evil" she chuckled and kissed my neck passionately.
"Never said I was nice" I giggled. She shuddered further and I remembered about the laughing while she was still inside me.
"Eeeeeviilll" she groaned exhaustedly, but didn't pull out of me. I snuggled up against her, panting against her sweating chest.
"I think we need another shower, darling" I smiled.
"In… in a minute… Let me… catch my… breath…"
"There's no rush…"
"Oh my stars…" she chuckled, I felt her chest vibrating. "It felt like I was fucking myself…"
"What?"
"Your… cloud thing… your orgasm when I was… inside you – on my end I was and I felt yours at the same time – oh my fucking stars…"
"Oh, shit, really?"
"Yes…"
"Oh my gods"
"Yes…"
"Fuuuuuck" I felt a bit impressed with both Jasper and myself.
"I feel like I need a cigarette now..." she sniggered and pulled me closer. "Stars… the things you do to me, little monster…"
"You wouldn't have me any other way" I hummed and kissed her collar bone.
"True… true" she nodded. I felt a cold twisting pinch in my lower left abdomen and twitched, hissing out some red sparks. "Oaah!" Jasper yipped.
"S-sorry did they hit you? Ah… Hands please… fuck!"
"No, you just squeezed me rather um… hard" her hand was on my stomach now and she warmed it up nice and toasty. "Stars, was not expecting that… Oh… wow…"
"I'm sorry darling" I sighed as the sharp pain dulled.
"It's OK… It didn't hurt me, I was just surprised. And now… I can feel you… relaxing… Does it help more if I…"
I let out a little gasp as Kara warmed slightly. "Oh, darling… that's wonderful…" I looked up into her grinning face. We lay quite still, regaining our breath slowly. After a little while the pain vanished and I patted her hand. She gave a little grunt as she slid out of me. Her essence began to trickle out and I shivered slightly. It felt like there was… more leaving me than usual and I shivered again. Jasper looked at me with a slightly raised eyebrow.
"Bit uncomfortable still?" I scooted up further on the bed so that our faces were level (and to get away from the wet spot). I leaned in to kiss her smiling lips.
"A bit. The sensation is about the same as when um… blood comes out? Out of my control, sort of thing, so my body gets a little… confused? My brain's going 'aaah, you're bleeding all over the place', but I know that's not what's happening" I sniggered and met her gaze, feeling my ears heat up. Jasper chuckled with surprise.
"That does sound a tad weird yes" she kissed my forehead. "I feel as if I lose control over Kara when I climax, she goes a little… crazy"
"I've noticed" I tittered and kissed her gem. "Mmm… I had so much fun, playing with her earlier..."
"You seemed like you were enjoying yourself" she sniggered, blushing slightly. "I certainly did…" I felt Kara twitch against my thigh. "Gonna have to re-watch that episode though, I completely lost track after a minute"
"I take that as a compliment" I smiled at her, feeling a naughty sort of pride.
"Can I ask you stuff like that, too? If I can just… play a while with Galadriel? With no pressure?"
"Of course you can, might not always say 'yes' but…" an image of myself lying on my stomach and reading a book swam into my mind. Jasper was in between my legs, hands on my bum and licking me from behind... I shivered pleasantly.
"What did you think of now?" she asked me with an amused and curious look.
"Mmm… just a very pleasant scenario…" I hummed.
"Oh really?" she purred. "Care to share?"
"Me on my belly, reading… You playing with me from behind, massaging my butt…" I stroked her collarbone softly. Jasper smiled and pulled me closer.
"I like that idea…" she said huskily.
"For some reason I picture myself with really red hair"
"You've got a very interesting hair style at the moment" she sniggered and tucked a lock behind my ear again.
"Oh I bet" I giggled. "I really should get it cut, it's getting so long"
"Mmm, I like it like this" she snuffled into my bed head. "Wild"
"I prefer it a bit shorter – charmingly scruffy. Short enough to never need to brush it. Not that I'm brushing it now…" she grinned at me.
"Could you brush my hair after we've showered?" she asked a little shyly.
"Yes" I said and nodded.
We got unsteadily to our feet and meandered into the garden, me putting on one of Jasper's hoodies and a pair of shorts and she her pants from the day and a sweatshirt. I lit a smoke by saying 'bad little monster', making Jasper chuckle amusedly.
When I was finished we went upstairs and got in the shower again.
"Sweet baby Jesus" I sighed as I turned the water on. "I thought I was exhausted last time we were in here…" Jasper sniggered.
"Yeah, what were we thinking…"
We made it quite a quick affair this time and then headed downstairs again for a bit of a snack. We had worked up a bit of an appetite after all. As we sat at the kitchen table I remembered what she had said during our extended love making session.
"Darling – the thing we agreed we should talk about when we weren't…"
"Horny as hell?" she grinned at me crookedly.
"Yeah, that" I looked up at her tentatively. "Can we talk about it now?"
"Sure, babe"
I took a deep breath. "We both want kids, right?"
"Yes" she nodded.
"But do we want kids… now? Or, you know… at the earliest about ten months from now"
"Mmm… why not?" she gave me a warm smile and took my hand in hers. I smiled back at her, feeling a burst of happiness inside me.
"I certainly wouldn't mind that… But there are factors we have to consider"
"Like what?"
"Like… do we need to get a bigger place? The kid is going to need a nursery and the kitchen might be a bit… small. And… I would have to quit smoking…"
"Oh?" she raised her eyebrows.
"Yeah, I mean it is poison… It would hurt the baby"
"Shit, OK" she looked at me a little nervously. "There is a lot I don't know"
"Me too… But there are loads of books and I would have to get a regular OBGYN, they'd be able to answer a bunch of questions… And there's like… classes you can take and stuff"
"What's an 'o-bee-Y-N'?"
"It's a doctor for your vagina"
"Can't you ask Doctor Maheswaran?" I raised my eyebrows at her.
"Sure I could ask her questions, but I don't want her… all up in my lady business. We're friends, it would be super awkward… Don't think she'd be willing to do that either" I thought for a moment. "Do you know um… how to make sperm?"
"Um. No." she admitted with a pained smile. "But I've made myself a digestive system, that's pretty advanced… I'm sure it wouldn't be a problem, making the stuff. As long as I know, you know… How it all fits together. Stars… this making babies thing is complicated."
"You have no idea, darling…" I sighed. "Maybe we should get the information first, then decide…"
"Recon, yes. It's better to know what is coming than to be ambushed or arrive in an environment you've not prepared for" she nodded assertively.
I remembered something. "Maybe we should talk to Greg, like you said a while back? He's done the whole gem human baby making thing, well, in reverse. Rose had to make a womb, she had to have learned how from somewhere…"
"So… what do we do first?"
"I think there's a book called… 'What to expect when you're expecting'…" I pulled out my phone and googled it. "Ah, yes. Parker would be such a help, if you wouldn't mind involving her, she's great at getting stuff – even stuff you don't know you needed, but it turns out that you really did"
"That's fine. I like her"
"She likes you too" I smiled warmly at her. "But… the rest of the people we know, maybe we can keep it under wraps for a while, when we succeed... My grandma says it's good to keep the news until you're sure that the pregnancy will… go to term. Like three months I think"
"What… does that mean?" she furrowed her brow.
"There's a thing called… miscarriage, when your body decides that it can't or won't keep the baby for some reason"
"So the baby… dies?"
"Yes…"
"Does the mom die too?"
"No, not unless they're really, really unlucky – that has never happened in my family, I know that. If I'm anything like my… mother and sister" I felt a sting of sadness. "I'm sure it'll go fine, but… I might have to get a C-section during delivery – both me and my sister were born that way, same with Charlie"
"A 'see-section'?"
"It's… sometimes necessary. It's an operation. If your baby is in distress or facing the wrong way for instance – like me, Victoria and Charlie – it's a lot safer for both the mom and baby. You um, open up the stomach from the outside and sort of… take the baby out that way" Jasper looked horrified. "This does sound rather scary, doesn't it?" I said with an apologetic smile.
"Yep" she nodded, eyes wide.
"There are lots of things that can go wrong, but let's not worry… Garnet told me something, when I asked if it was possible for us to have a baby together – that they would be healthy and that everything else would be fine – as long as I didn't smoke during the pregnancy. And since she can see the future…"
"That's a load off my mind" Jasper let out a breath and shook her head.
"I don't mind if people know we want or are trying to have a baby – Garnet and Priyanka already know that. But for when we do get pregnant – can we wait with telling them? It would just make me
feel… safer"
"I'm OK with that. I can keep a secret – at least when I know it's supposed to be one" she smiled at me reassuringly. "So – we ask Parker to get the information, get you a vagina doctor, talk to Greg and see if there are any bigger houses available?"
"Yes"
"And after that?"
"I suppose that's when we make the baby" two bright gold butterflies appeared as I giggled. Jasper leaned over the table to kiss me sweetly.
"At least we know one thing we're good at" she chuckled.
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