A/N- No idea what to do with this one, so I'm gonna make it about something I had been planning and force the words to do my bidding. So Blaine is a yoga instructor, and I don't actually know that many yoga poses, but I would imagine Blaine wouldn't either or would forget them (like he does with song lyrics) and make something up.

This is from Ehmber: strawberry fuchsia gape ostrich egg emu lemur mahogany chibi cobble basket heater kitten kite backpack bicycle television picture internet marathon.

"I can't believe you're dragging me into this," Kurt said to his roommate, Rachel. The tiny woman shrugged and tightened her grip on her fuchsia yoga mat. "I don't need to go to yoga, I'm not stressed!"

"Kurt Elizabeth Hummel, do not lie to me. You're so stressed!" Rachel crossed her arms, an unwavering force. "You can not stay home working on the internet all day. I don't care how much intern work you need to do, you're taking the day off."

Kurt opened his mouth to argue, but a handsome man with curly black hair walked passed, leaving Kurt to gape in his wake. He quickened his pace, almost running through the gym to try and reach him, to try and catch another glimpse. He gave himself a quick once-over as he ran; Kurt wore skin-tight yoga pants, a thin white shirt, and he smelled like deodorant and strawberry shampoo. Perfect.

"Hey there," Kurt said, getting in front of the man and leaning on an exercise bicycle as he passed. "What brings you here?"

"Umm... yoga class?" The shorter man held up his backpack, which had a pink yoga mat sticking out of it.

"Oh, really?" Kurt broke into a wide smile and held up his own mat, a greenish-blue one. "Me too! It's my first time. I'm Kurt," he said, extending a hand.

The man laughed. "Blaine. And I can tell it's your first time," he replied while shaking Kurt's pale hand, "because I know everyone in my yoga class."

"Hi, Blaine," Rachel said, finally catching up. "What're we doing in class today?"

"Hey, Rach." Blaine smiled at her and started walking towards the room in the back of the gym with mahogany floors and full-length mirrors against every wall. "You know I don't keep a plan, I'll just cobble something together as we go." Kurt watched as the man became animated while he spoke, his face lighting up and his expression changing frequently. Kurt was fondly reminded of a chibi drawing. Rachel and Blaine carried out an entire conversation while Kurt stared, wondering if it would be creepy if he took a picture of himself with Blaine somehow. But now Blaine was walking away, calling over his shoulder, "I'll see you two in class!"

"Bye!" Kurt stammered, smiling giddily until Blaine was out of earshot. "That's the teacher?" Kurt asked excitedly, rounding on his friend. She nodded slowly, just now realizing that Kurt hadn't paid attention to any of their previous conversation. "WHY DIDN'T YOU BRING ME HERE SOONER?"

"Oh, so suddenly you want to be here?" Rachel asked sarcastically, cocking her hip to the side.

"YES!" Rachel rolled her eyes and went into the large back room. There was a large television hanging from the ceiling, just above a set of expensive speakers. Blaine stood before them, putting in a CD of fast music with a heavy bass. The women standing around the water cooler and the large heater in the back of the room glanced over at him, realizing their lesson was about to begin.

"Alright, everyone!" Kurt and Rachel took their mats to the front row as Blaine spoke. "We're gonna do some quick cardio work to get your heart pumping, then we'll go right into yoga." Blaine grabbed a remote, turned up the music, and immediately started hopping around like a lunatic. Jumping jacks, running in place, kicks, lunges, push-ups, sit-ups; by the end of it, Kurt was sweating like he had just run a marathon. The women around him, however, were clearly used to their overly energetic instructor.

"You guys can grab a drink, and then we'll get started." Kurt rolled off his mat and allowed Rachel to lead him to the water cooler. He made a basket with his hands and flung a handful of water in his face, then drank greedily from his palms.

"There are cups, you know." Rachel slipped a plastic cup into his hand before getting a drink for herself.

"Whatever," Kurt said breathlessly. "Now, about this instructor..."

"What?" Rachel asked, rolling her eyes.

"What team does he play for?" Kurt asked bluntly.

Rachel gave him a look of indignation. "How should I know? It's not something you just ask someone. 'Hey, Blaine, I was just wondering, do you like cock?'"

"You have two gay dads! Your gay-dar should be good enough that you can figure it out."

"Says the gay guy," she retorted. "What do you think he is?"

"Gay. And I can prove it too," he said slyly over his shoulder. Rachel rolled her eyes and followed him back to their mats. Everyone sat to match Blaine's butterfly position and they stretched in unison, raising their hands high and arcing them outward as they fell to their sides. The music had changed now, it was soft and soothing like a crashing wave. Blaine's voice was soft too, telling them to curl into a ball.

"Now, wrap you arms around your knees to create... an egg." Kurt furrowed his brow and looked up at Blaine. It was obvious he was coming up with this off the top of his head. "Then hatch from your egg, stretching your arms up and your legs outward."

"What the hell kind of yoga pose is that?" Kurt whispered frantically. Rachel shushed him and waved her hand in his face, making him turn back to Blaine. Blaine continued, saying, "Now we lay on our backs and bring our knees in. You're now in the kitten pose, and you're going to reach up and kick at the ball of string." Blaine lifted his arms and legs into the air, waving them around and batting at an object that wasn't really there.

"What. The. Fuck." Kurt looked around, seeing all the women dutifully waving their limbs in the air. He halfheartedly followed suit, waiting until Blaine moved to the downward-facing dog position before becoming an active participant. Finally understanding what they were doing, Kurt gave Rachel a wink and whispered, "Ask Blaine to check your form."

She raised an eyebrow as they moved from the plank to the upward-facing dog. "Blaine," she called out slowly, "I don't know if I'm doing this right."

Blaine glanced over at her in confusion. Rachel had never asked for help before... It was unsettling, to say the least. He walked over and put a hand to her back, feeling the arc of her spine. "You're doing very well, Rachel." He was about to leave, but Kurt called out, "What about me?" Kurt bent at the waist instead of curving his back, messing up his pose on purpose.

"You- you've got it wrong," Blaine stammered. He put his hand just below Kurt's ribs and on the small of his back, helping the man move into and arched position. "There you go," he said quickly before scampering away.

Rachel waited until Blaine had moved onto what he called the 'ostrich position' (bending over and pretending to bury your head in sand) before speaking. "What was that for?" she asked suspiciously.

"That proves he's gay."

"How?" Rachel asked in disbelief.

"Because," Kurt replied haughtily, "Blaine was comfortable with helping you. He blushed and stammered when I needed help."

Rachel scowled. "Don't be silly. He just doesn't know you very well!"

"And you two are the best of friends?" She didn't respond, so Kurt knew he had won. "Trust me, if I ask him out after class, he'll say yes." They moved into what Blaine called the 'kite pose,' holding their arms out and swaying on the spot. Kurt felt ridiculous.

"Oh, really? Well I-"

"Okay, class," Blaine said, interrupting her. "Now we're going to do the emu pose." He spread his feet apart and bent at the waist, then craned his neck forward. Kurt attempted it, but worried that it would give him a bad kink in his neck. "And slowly move into the tree position," Blaine said, standing straight and extending his arms like branches.

Kurt could tell Rachel still didn't believe him, so he had to do something more to convince her. With a mischievous glint in his eyes, Kurt slowly peeled off his shirt when Blaine was looking in his general direction. Blaine turned bright red and looked away quickly. "A- and now," he stammered, "we'll go into the lemur position." Blaine reached forward with one arm as far as he could, then swung the other one forward. "Just... reach for the vines." Kurt snickered. Blaine was lucky he had loose yoga pants on.

Class continued, and Blaine made them do plenty more strange poses (including but not limited to 'the hummingbird,' 'the growing flower,' and 'the elephant'). After they had finished and began packing up, Kurt approached Blaine, his shirt clutched in his hand.

"That was a great class," he said quietly. Blaine muttered a quick thanks and started stuffing his mat in his backpack. "Maybe I could see you again sometime and we could do something other than yoga."

Blaine chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. "I'd like that," he said. "But on one condition."

"And what's that?" Kurt asked, his smile wide.

"Don't come back to class with Rachel," Blaine said with a wink. "You're much too distracting."