"Alright, so the game is at a tie right now! Let's see who will get ahead in our next challenge!" The commentator announced as the event-coordinators set up a turn-table (you know, the things that DJs use). "As you can probably guess, the name of this challenge is 'DJ in the Club'. Basically, the captain of each team will be DJ-ing at the tables and their team-mates have to say fifteen songs that they want to hear. Only... The captains will be wearing sound-proof headphones, so they'll have to act out their choices." Everyone muttered amongst themselves, trying to decide how they were going to do this.

"Since Team Uke won the last challenge, Itachi, get up here!" The commentator called for the brunette. Itachi strolled over to the table and, after putting the head-phones on, he called out,

"Alright, it's DJ Rokubi ( 1 ) mixing it up!" He scratched the records, signaling that they could start. A song list was given to the ukes and they read it over before they pointed to one and shoved Poland over. Itachi only raised an eyebrow but looked on, occasionally turning the records.

"Like, OMG, I have no idea where the hell I am!" Feliks slurred out, drunk on bar drinks. He took another sip of his drink and looked into the audience before seeing someone's top. "Wow... That' hot."

"California Gurls- Katy Perry." Itachi stated. Everyone cheered as Dawn held up a 1 on a red piece of paper.

"Huh, wha..?" Poland blinked, "But, like, I haven't even started yet~!"


"Ve..."

"Hey, let us get a picture!"

The Italy brothers called out before they both took cameras out of nowhere (Hammerspace) and began to repeatedly take pictures of Itachi.

"Ah!" Itachi had to shield his naturally sensitive eyes. He thought for a second before he yelled, "Get out of here, you damn Paparazzi!" There were more cheers, Dawn changing the 1 into a 2.


America stood in front of Itachi and, after a moment, took one of his guns out from his pocket. Itachi raised an eyebrow. But then Alfred tossed that gun away and took of his jacket. The blonde shook the bomber-jacket and, like a waterfall, a whole weaponry of guns fell out. When the onslaught stopped, Itachi yelled, "America, you have two many guns!" But then he smirked, "21 Guns- Green Day?" Alfred gave Itachi a high-five as Dawn displayed a 3 on the Team Uke sign.


Itachi simply stood there, confused, as he watched Deidara and Hidan have a fake argument. Anytime that Hidan tired to say something, Deidara would shake his head or cover his ears. After a while of that, Deidara took a napkin and borrowed a pen before he started writing random names down.

Itachi chuckled. "After watching that whole damn video, I never did find out who Alejandro was..."

"Another point!" Dawn cheered.


Next, Canada silently dragged America in front of the turn-table. "Hey Mattie, why did you bring me up here, anyway?" Matthew sighed before he made sure that he had Itachi's attention. Then he turned his brother around and pointed towards his behind.

"Yeah, it is pretty unbelievable..." Itachi laughed. Then it clicked, "I have never seen an Ass like That." As Dawn tallied the point, Alfred turned and fumed,

"I'll have you know that some people think that my ass is one of my best assets." Then he sighed, "Pun not intended, right guys?"

"Da!" Russia called over, Japan adding,

"It is... quite nice, Alfred-kun..." But no sooner had he said that did he hear the infamous 'kolkolkol's' from the larger nation.


Lovino stood there, by his brother and Germany, trying to get Itachi to figure what he was trying to say. "Oh, come on!" S. Italy yelled.

"First of all," Itachi sighed, pointing to the head-phones, "I can't hear you! Second of all, If you don't make yourself clearer-!"

"How much clearer can I make myself, damn it? Look at my cute brother and look at this potato-headed bastard! They don't go together, it's like a-"

"I can't hear you- You know what, fuck it! I'm skipping it, next song!"

"Chigii~!" Lovino seethed.


Pit, Haku, and Ranmaru were pointing to America and Itachi was just yelling out random things. "The American National Anthem! Barbie Girl! Surfin' Bird! Triple Baka!" The shota-like trio sighed, seriously wondering if Itachi was going to get this.

"Come on..." Haku sighed, "America..."

"Yes, I see that it's America..." Itachi nodded. Team Uke groaned before Kyle got the idea to take a napkin and a pen and scribble a D on it. He rolled it into a cone and then placed it on Alfred's head. Itachi snickered a bit before he gasped, "Oh... American Idiot!"


"I know that I could easily regret asking this but..." Itachi droned out as he saw Hidan lead Sonic to the front of the table. After he handed Sonic his scythe, the albino slowly counted down from three. At three, Sonic shrugged his shoulders before swiftly lopping off the Jashinist's head. "Oh God, Zombie! It's Zombie by The Cranberries! Now could you put on your head, please?"


Itachi was enjoying the martial-arts display that China was putting on. Problem was, Yao had been doing this for a while without Itachi saying anything. Finally, China huffed, "Aiya! Haven't you figured this out yet, aru?"

"Not that I can hear you," Itachi sighed, "But I figured it out a while ago, But I enjoy Karate, both the actual practice and the song, so..."

"Damn you, aru!"


"Judging from the death-glare that Chazz is giving Team Seme..." Itachi began, watching the young Princeton glare at the other team. "Would the song be... I Wish They'd Just Die?"

"And I mean it, too." Chazz smirked, giving Itachi a high-five.


"Okay people, still waiting for the song requests to be brought in!" Itachi called out. China walked up again and pulled a Leek out of his sleeve. Then, he started to spin it. "Oh, so you think you can spin a leek, huh? Well, let's just see how well you can make that Leekspin!"


As he saw Deidara and Marth fighting over a compact mirror, Itachi was so tempted to see how long he could make them keep it up. But when Marth had Deidara pinned to the floor, the blonde crying 'uncle', Itachi sighed, "Honey, This Mirror Isn't Big Enough for the Both of Us... And judging from the looks of it, it was barely enough room for you two."

"It's not my fault that Marth's a diva, un!" At that, Marth pulled one of Deidara's legs back until the blonde was crying.


"I win this hand!" France cheered. He, Canada, and Sheik were playing a faux game of Poker right in front of Itachi. "Now, Sheik can start stripping for us anytime..."

"Since when were we playing Strip Poker?" Sheik and Canada yelled.

"Wait, we weren't playing Strip Poker?"

"Hey, Poker Face!" Itachi called out, "You guys can sit down now!"


Next up was Gregory. The blonde mercenary looked at Itachi, just until he got his attention. Then the show began. Gregory got out one of his guns out and, began a very sensual dance with it. He lazily ran it up his sides before he pressed it to his crotch. The slightest whimper was released as the blonde ran the the gun up his abdomen, up his chest, and finally got to his face. He smirked before licking at it and shooting a single shot into the ceiling.

The bar was silent, mostly because everyone was either shocked or really enjoying Gregory's little gun show. Itachi simply shook his head, "Happiness is a warm gun, isn't it Gregory?"

"But of course!" Gregory replied, going to help his lover with the problem he was surely sporting.


"Fratello, fratello stop!" N. Italy yelled as Lovino continued to try and beat up Germany.

"I'll teach you to corrupt my brother with your stupid macho-ness, you stupid potato!" Itachi watched on as S. Italy kicked and pushed at Germany.

"Hey, wait a minute." Kick, push, kick, push... "I haven't heard that song in ages, Kick, Push..."


"Now it's time for Team Seme's turn, so if Kisame could get up here..." Kisame walked up to the table and put the head-phones on with a,

"Wow, these work great! Hey, can I get a pair of these, I could really use them when I need to tune Kakuzu out!" Before said brunette could say anything, Team Seme got their list of songs and, immediately, Prussia jumped in front of the table and pointed to himself with a,

"Come on!" Kisame chuckled and asked,

"Do I have to say the whole title of the song?" When the judges nodded he sighed, "Song of the Amazing Me For Me According To Me?"

"Damn straight, kesesese..." Gilbert laughed, high-fiving the team-captain.


England walked in front of the table and was swinging a golden pocket-watch in front of the sharks face.

Five minutes later...

"Oh, come on!" Arthur groaned, "Alfred would have figured this out by now! Kisame!" Kisame drowsily replied,

"I am under your command..." One of England's furry eyebrows twitched before he grabbed Kisame's head and repetitively banged it against the table, scratching the records every time he made impact,

"You!" Record-scratch. "Idiot!" Record-scratch. "Snap!" Record-scratch. "Out!" Record-scratch. "Of!" Record-scratch. "It!" After the assault, Kisame dizzily replied,

"Tik Tok,

On the clock~!"


Spain used a simple approach. He stood in front of the turn-table and held up a sign that read "It's Spanish for 'Long Live Life'."

"Oh, Viva La Vida!" Kisame laughed.


Aster walked up on the stage and proceeded o toss a bunch of dollar bills on the ground. After every made a rush for the money, Kisame called out, "Spoiled rich kid? Rich jerk? Privileged little bastard? Kid that me and Kakuzu are going to mug later on tonight?" Aster frowned before he took out a bill-fold and started fanning himself with it. "Oh! Rich Girl!"

"No!" Aster groaned. He jerked a thumb to the side, mouthing the words, "Older... Think older!"

"Um..." Kisame hummed, the it clicked, "If I Were a Rich Man?"

"Yes!" Aster yelled, falling to the ground, "Thank you God that he's not a complete idiot!"


Kisame was laughing out loud (along with everyone else) as Damien, Kevin, and Stan did the dance from Sgt. Frog. From the swinging of their arms, to the less-than-happy looks on their faces, it was just a funny sight. "The song is Kurutto, Mawatte, Ikkaiten, but can you guys keep dancing? This is hilarious!"

"Hell to the no!" Damien growled, walking back to his seat.


Korea hummed at the song on the paper before he thought of something. He quickly sat Tobi, Naruto, and America together and pointed to them. Kisame blinked, "Um... The Three Stooges?" Yong Soo shook his head. "Three morons?" Yong Soo shook his head again. "A.D.H.D.?"

"No!"

"Um..." Kisame frowned. "Let's see... Three... Tres... Third..." Kisame thought for a minute more before he clapped his hands together, "Triple Baka!"

"Yes! Korea cheered but Naruto yelled,

"I am not a baka!"


Neji walked up onstage and didn't do anything before he bowed, like an actor just finished with a piece. "Okay kid, go on and Take a Bow." Kisame shook his head.


For the next song, Kisame had to narrow his eyes to look into the audience. He saw Russia pouring some kind of chemical into Japan's glass. "Ivan, what are you doing there?"

"Just taking care of something."

"What are you pouring in there?"

"It is the same thing that they use to make moth balls, da?"

"Moth balls..." Kisame whispered. But then he groaned, "God, that name is so freaking long! Para... Para-dichl... Paradichloro... Paradichlorobenzene!" Ivan nodded and handed the glass back to Japan. Kiku merely gulped before he poured the drink out onto the floor, a hole melting through.


"So here I am..." Kakashi began, talking into a cell-phone, "Talking in a..."

"Cell-phone?" Kisame asked. Kakashi shook his head.

"Talking in a..."

"Annoying voice that just makes me want to punch your lights out?" Kisame offered. Kakashi dead-panned,

"No... And how can you even hear me?" The copy-nin shook his head and pretended to talk into the cell-phone when Kisame sighed,

"This is making just as much sense as Lady GaGa's Telephone video..." When Kakashi pointed to him, he added, "Was that what it was, Telephone? Geez, Kakashi, why didn't you just say that in the first place? Whoa!" The Mizukage had to quickly duck before a kunai met his head.


"Hey, give that back!" Pit cried out, flying after Turkey who had taken the angels head-wreath. Every once in a while, he would wave it in the air, trying to get Kisame's attention. After a moment, Kisame sighed,

"You know, Sadiq, I think you should give Pit back his Halo before Ike gets mad and-"

"GREAT... AETHER!" After a blast that cleared away a third of the bar, Kisame sighed,

"Too late."


"You're... dancing!" Kisame called out, seeing Shadow dancing while swinging a sword. "You really shouldn't be dancing while swinging that though, you could poke an eye out." Shadow groaned as he swung the sword down and began dancing again. "Dancing... Hero? Dancing... swordsman?"

"This is ridiculous..." Shadow huffed, taking a break to get a drink of sake.

"Oh!" Kisame cheered, "Dancing Samurai, I love that song!"


"Oh boy, here comes England again..." Kisame rolled his eyes, "What do you have for me to play this time?" Arthur shook his head before he slowly took off his shirt.

"Whoo! Take it off mon amour!" France called out. Kisame raised an eyebrow,

"I'm too sexy for my shirt?" England shook his head before sitting down and taking off one of his shoes. "Uh... Whiny British boy taking off his clothes? Whiny British boy who really needs to get more sun?" England buried his face in his hand, shaking his head. "Whiny British boy..." Kisame began before he asked, "Is this that one song by James Blunt? You're Beautiful?"

"Took you long enough, you bloody wanker!" Arthur growled, picking up his clothes and going to get changed.


Just Germany walked on stage, Kisame called out, "Hold on a minute! I don't want Germany to yell at me, so I'm just going to take a quick guess. Is the song I Am German-Made?"

"How did you know? I didn't even do anything!" Ludwig sputtered, going to sit back down.


Link walked up and made sure that he got Kisame's attention before he got out his bow and shot an arrow towards Ganondorf, who had just been in the audience (having a drink, trying to get some). "What the hell?" The villain growled. Link simply brought out a bomb and tossed it towards Ganondorf, watching it explode on contact. "Would you stop it?"

"Yeah, Link, it's clear that you wanted me to play Ganon Slayer..." Kisame laughed.


For the final song, Zane walked up and just before he was about to start acting out his song, he blinked and said, "Hold that thought." The older teen then walked back to where his team was sitting and grabbed Sasuke.

"Hey, easy on the leather!" Sasuke growled as his jacket was grabbed. When both males were in front of the table, Zane took a deep breath. "Why am I here ag—Mph!" Out of nowhere, Zane had locked lips with the youngest Uchiha. Everyone had to cover their ears when the fangirls' screams rose up, but when they calmed down, Kisame laughed,

"I kissed a boy

And he liked it~!" Sasuke all but punched Zane away but before he stomped off, he wiped his mouth and said,

"Not bad."


"The winners, by a narrow margin..." Zoey began (holding her sign that read 15), just to have Dawn (holding a sign that said 14) huff,

"Narrow is right."

"Quiet you!" Zoey chuckled before she announced, "Team Seme!" Team Seme cheered before Kisame brought out a record and called out,

"Yeah, let's party!", placing the record on the table an d scratching it.


A/N:

Team Seme: 650

Team Uke: 600

( 1 ) This is a little joke, those who are reading LOH: Metronome of Time will get it.

And Just in case anyone was playing along, her are the songs that were used.

Team Uke:

California Gurls- Katy Perry

Paparazzi-Lady Gaga

21 Guns- Green Day

Alejandro- Lady Gaga

Bad Romance- Lady Gaga

Ass Like That- Eminem

Honey, This Mirror Isn't Big Enough For the Both of Us- My Chemical Romance

Zombie- The Cranberries

Kick, Push- Lupe Fiasco

I Wish They'd Just Die- Kaito Shione

Karate- Jack Black

Happiness is A Warm Gun- U2

Leekspin- Miku Hatsune

Poker Face- Lady GaGa

American Idiot- Green Day

Team Seme

Song of the Amazing Me For Me According to Me

Telephone- Lady Gaga

Tik Tok- Ke$ha

Paradichlorobenzene- Len Kagamine

I Am German-Made

Triple Baka- Miku Hatsune, Akita Neru, Teto Kasane

Kurutto, Mawatte, Ikkaiten- Kigurumi

Take A Bow- Rihanna

You're Beautiful- James Blunt

Ganon Slayer- Mad Hatter

Dancing Samurai- Gakupo Kamui

Viva La Vida- Coldplay

Rich Man- Fiddler on the Roof

Halo- Beyonce

I Kissed A Boy- Cobra Starship

I personally didn't think this chapter was that good but, hey, tell me what you guys think. Please review!

-Tyranno's girl.