Chapter 50: I am a Murderer
Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy.
RPOV
"I killed Viktor Dashkov." Adrian's voice echoed in my ears and I felt myself gasp at his words.
"What?" I managed. "But you were unconscious." I was utterly confused by the look of anguish on his face.
Tears rolled down his cheeks as he grasped my hands tightly.
"I am so sorry Little Dhampir. I didn't mean to do it. It was an accident. I'm not a murderer." His eyes pleaded with me to forgive him.
"I still don't get it," I replied as calmly as I could. "How did you kill him if you were unconscious?"
He gulped and looked me in the eyes. "We were in the in between and he attacked me. I fought him and ended up smothering him with a couch cushion. I thought it was a dream. I didn't know he'd really die. I had to. He would have killed me," He sobbed begging for understanding.
So I hadn't been responsible after all. No wonder he had gotten so drunk and went on a bender. I now understood why his life had gone down the road it had in my fake future. The guilt must have been eating him alive. I felt sick at his admission. I didn't like the thought of having had killed Viktor myself, but I would never wish the guilt of taking the life of another on anyone especially Adrian. He was already too unstable from the effects of Spirit.
I was lost in my own thoughts when I heard his voice break.
"Please say you forgive me Rose. You're my best friend. I would never have wanted you to take the blame for what I did. I'm so so sorry," he apologized profusely.
"Adrian you have nothing to be sorry for," I told him pulling him into a bone crushing hug.
"But you almost died because of what I did." He shook harder as he spoke.
"Shhh! It's okay. It wasn't me. It was the darkness I took from Lissa. I should have been able to handle it, but I let it take over. It was not your fault. I was too weak to fight it." I cradled him in my arms.
"No you're so strong. You're amazing," He responded back. "I was so scared you were going to die and I'd never get to tell you the truth. I tried telling you while you were asleep, but you couldn't hear me," He cried.
"Hey, I know it's hard, but you have to forgive yourself. It was him or you and in my book it's no contest. You had to do what you had to do and I'm so proud of you for remembering how to defend yourself," I said stroking his hair soothingly. His breathing had calmed and he'd stopped shaking.
"You really don't hate me?" He asked pulling away and looking at my face for clarification.
"Of course I don't hate you. I could never hate you. I love you too much," I told him with a smile.
"I love you too Little Dhampir. You're the best friend anyone could ever have."
"Besides he had it coming for all the trouble he caused," I said with a wink.
He managed a small smile.
"So are we going to go turn me in now?" he asked looking at me with fear in his eyes.
"What? No of course not. Why would you think that?"
"Because I am guilty," He replied sadly. "I'm a murderer."
"No you're not! Stop saying that!" I yelled at him.
"We're just going to stick to the story that I killed him in self defense and no one will have to know," I told him.
"I can't let you take the blame for me Rose," he argued.
"Yes you can and you will or I'll kick your ass," I told him.
"Okay okay why does it always have to come down to you threatening to pummel me?" he relented. I knew he'd give in if I threatened him with violence. That always worked. Moroi had little or no tolerance for pain.
"So no one will know but you?" He asked.
"No not exactly. Dimitri and Lissa got pulled in when you told me. They heard everything, but they agree with me that we should just leave things alone," I informed him.
"I could feel Lissa and Dimitri's sympathy for Adrian through the bond. He wasn't nearly as mentally capable as I was and there was a good chance that this would eat at him for the rest of his life. I mean look what it had done to me when I thought I was the one who killed Viktor.
"Tell them thanks for me."
"Don't worry I will. Now I need to go get Alisa and go home and you need to sleep off the rest of your booze and then go apologize to your girlfriend who might I say is not too happy with you right now."
He sighed heavily. "I don't know why she put up with me so long? It's probably too late for apologies."
"What makes you think that?"
"She gave me an ultimatum the other day. Either I stopped drinking or she'd ask to be reassigned," He said miserably.
"Just come clean with her about Viktor and beg her forgiveness. It might take some heavy groveling, but that girl loves you and given time I'm sure she'll take you back," I tried reassuring him.
"I don't deserve it."
"Stop saying that. You deserve to be happy and I know beyond a reasonable doubt that Viktoria makes you the happiest you've ever been,"
"She does," he confirmed.
"Well then tell her that you dufus," I said shoving him playfully.
"I will tomorrow. I promise."
"Good, now get some sleep." He nodded.
"Sorry about the door. Dimitri says he'll replace it tomorrow," I said as I was leaving.
VPOV
"You're amazing." I heard Adrian tell her as I hovered outside the door to our bedroom that Rose had broken down just a few minutes ago.
I peeked my head around the corner peering into the room and they were sitting on the bed wrapped up in each other's arms.
"Gah!" I cried softly putting my arms up in surrender. I can't win! How can Dimka stand this? It's driving me mad. It was just as I thought. He wouldn't open up to me this whole week and five minutes with her and he was baring his soul.
The most frustrating thing was that I knew my brother could see and hear what went on between them and he didn't do anything to stop it. I'd never understand his patience. I loved Roza and Adrian so much, but there was a limit as to how much I could handle.
I went back downstairs to tend to Alisa. She cooed happily from her pack and play. I sighed as I realized that it was probably over between Adrian and I and that as much as I wanted it, I would never have his baby. Tears sprung to my eyes as I watched the rise and fall of my niece's tiny chest. She was such a miracle.
"Hey Vik, he's calmed down and he'd going to try and sleep the rest of the alcohol off," Said Rose coming up behind me. I casually swept my hand across my eyes wiping away my tears.
"Thanks for talking to him Roza," I told her picking up Alisa and putting her into Roza's waiting arms.
"No problem," She said heading for the doors leading into her own house.
"Hey Viv, don't be too hard on him tomorrow," She called over her shoulder.
"Yeah," I muttered. "Right," I added as I climbed the stairs to the guest room. I had moved all my stuff out of our room a few days ago. He'd been so drunk he'd been mumbling Roza's name in his sleep. It had been my undoing. I couldn't stand to listen to it anymore and I'd given him an ultimatum and packed up my stuff.
I showered, changed into my sweats and climbed beneath the cold sheets going to sleep alone for the fourth time this week.
RPOV
Dimitri, Lissa and Christian were waiting for me when I returned home. I placed Alisa into her father's waiting arms and plopped down on the couch.
"I can't believe it," exclaimed Lissa. I mean I knew he'd been murdered, but by Adrian? That's unbelievable."
"Yea unbelievable that a drunk like him could actually defend himself," muttered Christian. Lissa socked him in the ribs and he grunted.
"Wait what do you mean you knew he'd been murdered?" I could feel the guilt rolling off Lissa and Dimitri.
"Comrade?" I questioned narrowing my eyes at my husband. I knew that he wasn't telling me something. He and Lissa both were hiding something from me.
"Lissa had an autopsy run and it showed that the cause of death was suffocation. It wasn't consistent with the injuries you caused," He told me sitting down next to me and taking my hand in his.
I could feel the anger swell inside me. "Just when exactly were you going to tell me I wasn't a murderer?"
"We were going to tell you after you got released from the hospital," said Lissa. "But then that one over there decided to…"
"I get the picture," I said cutting her off.
I'm sorry Roza, I just really needed to be close to you. I couldn't wait.
It's okay Comrade. I needed to be close to you too!
He held our daughter in one hand and put the other one around my shoulders pulling me into his side. I rested my head against his shoulder contently.
"How's Tasha Sparky?" I asked trying to change the subject.
"She's doing pretty well considering what's she's been through. She's nervous to see Clay though."
"I'll bet. Does he know what happened?"
"Not yet. I'm going to go over there and tell him tomorrow."
"How do you think he'll take it?"
"I don't know. I hope he takes it well. She needs him. He loves her so much. I'm hoping he can get past it and they can rekindle their relationship."
"Can she have other visitors?" asked Dimitri.
"Sure. I know she'd enjoy seeing you," Christian replied.
"I'll probably stop by tomorrow," He said.
"You should bring Alisa. Tasha will be so excited to meet her," I suggested.
"She'd really love that. She asked about all of you and I told her about Alisa and how cute and perfect she is,"
"Aww Sparky, you're so sweet," I teased him getting up and pinching his cheek.
He turned red with embarrassment. "Quit it," he warned.
"You gonna make me?"
"You're not pregnant anymore and I still owe you a few good tricks," he responded with an evil grin.
"Only if you can catch me," I egged him on with a wink before I tore off in the direction of the kitchen.
I could hear him right behind me.
"Hey guys not in the house," cried Lissa. "And no fire!"
We both laughed and rolled our eyes before taking our little squabble outside.
"Payback is going to be sweet," called Sparky.
"That's what you think," I called back.
I could feel Dimitri's amusement as he watched us from the window.
VPOV
"Adrian I'm home," I called out placing my shopping bags on the counter. I'd brought home some steaks for a nice dinner so we could reconnect after everything that had happened.
The house was quiet. He must be upstairs. I put the steaks in the fridge and the rest of the groceries away and decided to go upstairs and find him.
I could hear the shower running in the bedroom. I laughed to myself as I decided to surprise him in the shower. He loved it when I did that.
I discarded my clothes on the bed and crept quietly to the bathroom in just my lacy blue bra and panties. The door was closed and when I walked in I was met with a cloud of steam in my face.
I heard noises coming from the shower stall. It sounded like moaning. In fact it was Adrian moaning.
I stifled a laugh. He was so busted. I'd always thought it would be funny to catch him pleasuring himself and this was going to be so good.
I crept closer with stealth and flung open the shower door. I was about to say gotcha when I stopped dead in my tracks. What I saw would be forever burned into my memory.
Adrian had Rose pressed up against the shower wall. They were both buck naked, her legs were wrapped around his waist and he was inside of her.
I screamed bloody murder as the pain coursed through my entire body tearing my heart in two.
Oh no! What's a girl to do when she catches her boyfriend and her brother's wife having sex in her shower? Which Russian is going to kill them first Dimka or Vicktoria? Oh yea and how much do you hate me right now? I think I might have to go into the witness protection program for this one=)
