So this chapter isn't entirely what I had wanted it to be at first. It took me some time to find the right rhythm for it. And I have no idea if I'm going to leave the raviris as it is. I'm nearly done with that big project, which deadline kept getting pushed back and farther back. Another project showed up, but I'm up for it. Today we have a few answers about Crowe, I swear, more of them in next chapter for real. Also, lots of sibling times, more hurt/comfort and one extensive raviris scene. Enjoy…

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Unexpected

Chapter 55 – Give us time

Light of providence. Those worlds meant nothing to Iris, but they were like a condemnation for Crowe. Luna had looked shocked as she first heard them and now, both women were going through every cosmonology books they had, not giving Iris a second glance, while she felt just as overwhelmed as either of them. Why would Etro want anything to do with their world? Wasn't the goddess of death happy with the recent loss of human lives? As much as she had tried to understand the cult a majority of people held for Etro in Insomnia, Iris had grown with nothing but resentment for the so-called goddess of her country. She doubted her current state of mind would be any help to Crowe or Luna and decided to head out for a bit.

She needed some sense of normalcy and the only person giving her that lately was a brooding, runaway army commander. On her way to his tent, she met her brother, who had clearly been looking for her.

"Is something wrong, Gladdy?"

"I should be the one asking you that," he retorted. "I've been neglecting you an awful lot lately."

Iris could see in his eyes just how much he resented himself for not looking any closer after her and wondered if he really should work himself up for it.

"You don't need to hold my hand all the time now."

"Well, it's not like I can anyway. But you were forced to fight on your own and turned blind. I just wanted to make sure… If you need your big brother, you just need to say a word and I'll come running."

It was a bit mushier than the usual Gladiolus, but she could tell he was shaken. The guys had taken time to themselves and from yesterday's ride and the look in his eyes, he was the one who needed to be looked after. Her throat felt a bit too tight to give an immediate answer, so she walked up into his arms instead, giving him a warm hug.

"I know that. And it's fine that you focus on Crowe right now. She's gone through way worse than me."

He heaved a sigh, his hold on her not as strong as the usual bear hug he'd give her.

"I wish I could always keep an eye on you on the battlefield. We make a really good team and… I need you safe, Iris."

His voice nearly wavered and she was torn between her gratitude for his honesty and how hard it felt to hear her brother sounding this scared.

"I know I can count on you. And I'll stay safe. There are a lot of people looking after me," she reminded him.

Gladiolus took a step back, his large hands heavy on her thin shoulders.

"I've noticed. Are you off to see that blond jerk-prince again?"

Iris didn't see a point in pretending otherwise and squared her shoulders, eyes sharp.

"Anything wrong with that?"

"That depends… What do you want from him? And what is he expecting from you?"

She fought against the light blush that threatened to grow on her cheeks. She knew what Gladiolus was worried about, and while she understood his fears, she also knew that his guess regarding Ravus's intentions might be closer to home.

"I'm trying to clear that up. But I'm not going to do anything rash."

"It's not your actions I'm worried about," Gladiolus warranted her.

"Ravus has done nothing but to look after me lately."

"That and ordering you around. He buried our father as redemption and…"

Her anger spiked up at that, since she could already hear his next warning and she snapped, pushing his hands away.

"Gladio, please! How can we treat any relationship as normal in the times we're living? Luna and Noctis are bound by fate, Prompto is clinging to Cindy for comfort, Crowe might very well be possessed by the goddess of the death…!"

Gladiolus's face fell at the notion, eyes blinking in incomprehension. Iris felt her anger replaced by guilt as he gripped her shoulders, panic laced to his features. She'd never seen him like that. And it was painful to realize her strong, confident brother was so lost.

"She's what?!"

"We don't know yet. It's only what Luna suggested…"

"I was trying to focus on you, Iris," he reminded her.

"Well, I can have some privacy too, can't I? Ravus is my friend now, whether you like it or not, he's actually a good friend. If he tries or says anything I don't like, I'll stop him. I was friend with other guys before, I put them back in their place if the need arises, you were the one who had to pick me up from the principal office most of the time."

"I know, I get that you're just as on edge as any of us. I'm not saying you shouldn't talk to the guy either. I just want you to be careful. Not only about Luna's brother. Ever since Insomnia fell… Maybe even before then… Somehow we drifted apart."

And he clearly blamed himself for it. Iris wanted to tell him wrong, but his overbearing reactions during the last few months had made her want to keep her distance and with everything else on her mind, she'd been avoiding him most of the time. She still worried about him, knowing how hard he pushed himself, forgetting sometimes that he was just as human as anyone else.

"Well, it was always clear who was the Shield and who was supposed to enjoy a normal, mundane life between us two," she observed, her lips thinning as he winced at her remark. "But I'm still your sister, no matter who I look for first when I'm in trouble. I know you'll do everything you can to protect me, but I don't think what I need now is protection."

Gladiolus nodded, his crossed arms falling limply at his sides.

"That might be better that way. I'm not too good at protecting anyone lately."

His honesty nearly scared her, but she accepted it with a knowing smile.

"Maybe it's about time you accept to share that burden. We're all aiming to protect Noctis, while he wants to protect us right back."

"Yeah… You're all growing up a little too fast to my liking," he declared, scratching the back of his head. "Noctis is thinking of revisiting Insomnia in a few days. We'll have to visit a few graves."

The notion brought a wave of queasiness through her entire being.

"I barely saw any of them, but there were bodies in every of these buildings, weren't there? Who's going to check on them all? Identifying and…"

"Don't fret about it sis. Monica has already sent her hunters on the case."

"But my friends… I wrote their name back in Free Crown, but what if they…"

He opened his arms to her, hugging her close as he tried to take away her new fear.

"I'll be with you the entire time. If you want to look for them, we'll look for them."

She agreed with him, realizing she didn't want someone else by her side to face the ruin of their home. She was going to face a lot of answers and wasn't sure how well her heart could take the knowledge of every loss she'd simply assumed.

It was a mere two days later when Noctis had everyone gather around him and agree on visiting Insomnia for the second time. The place was mostly secure by then, daemons dispatched by either Monica's hunters or Cor's soldiers. It had been many months since the first imperial assault and Ravus had warned them. The smell had been mostly covered by the daemons everywhere a few days ago. But Insomnia was reeking with death at every corner.

"Do you have any notion of what Ardyn's true goal could be?" Noctis insisted, eyeing his future brother-in-law with an unreadable expression.

Ravus had barely joined any group activity, helping with hunting their meals or theorizing with Luna about what the brand on Crowe could mean. He'd even run a few tests on a skin sample, but deplored the lack of good instruments to draw any serious conclusion. Cindy had tinkered on his arm after finding him messing with the prosthetic to take his mind off. Iris was the only one to learn that whenever he took the thing apart, it was because it was itching so bad, he didn't see another way to relieve himself. Something had changed between Iris and Ravus and no one was blind to it. They already shared a bond due to the rescues they'd pull for each other and their regular talks through texts and calls, but something else had changed. It seemed as though they were playing a game of cat and mouse and even Luna had difficulty saying which one was the cat.

Prompto had started to laugh again, but he was still subdued. Luna was only starting to regain her full strength with all the magic she'd used in the crown city. News from Free Crown was the best part of the day, unless Ignis outdid himself with food, which he did for most of the dishes he prepared.

Aranea had spent a lot of time with Crowe, drinking or training, often taunting Ravus into training with them. Gladiolus had been splitting his time between his sister, his girlfriend, his friends and his own training. Cindy was growing restless, having only one or two cars to work on. She'd gotten into a few fights with Prompto, which had surprised everyone, but the gunman seemed to prefer it that way. Being treated differently only reminded him of all the Ottos. Monica and Cor had looked after them as best they could, while still checking regularly on the activities concerning Insomnia. Cor and Ravus barely tolerated each other, Cor unable to let go of the base the man took and the men lost in the violent assault. One could point out that MTs did all the job, but Cor knew who the real culprit was in his heart. The ends might justify the means, but seeing Luna's brother only reminded him of his recent failures. Ravus was almost comfortable in the role of an enemy, but that would shift whenever Luna, Iris or even Aranea started a conversation with him. The guys had hunted with him again, Noctis and him sparring once, managing to keep their exchange almost fully polite.

A fishing contest might have been their next competition if Noctis had felt up for more time off, but Lunafreya wanted to verify something at Etro's church, back in Insomnia and he couldn't really object, seeing as one of their teammates was possibly under the goddess's influence. He wasn't sure what to think about that.

"Ardyn's true goals? Outside of chaos, your bet is as good as mine," Ravus answered him, snapping him back to reality.

"The report says that no trace of the chancellor was found," Cor reminded them.

"What about any guy looking like me," Prompto asked.

The unease was clear, especially since they'd only recently sat down to confer about the Otto situation. It was Prompto who'd insisted on it, having everyone describe the Otto they'd fought, or the numbers they called themselves. On the 11 who'd attack them in Insomnia, only one remained unaccounted for. Number 2 was out there alive and while everyone pointed out that someone else might have gotten through him, Prompto was still convinced.

"2 was always the most careful out of us all," he'd declared. "If there's only one left, it has to be him."

They sat together in Cor's truck and braced themselves for their visit of Insomnia. The plan was to head for the Citadel first. Noctis, Gladiolus, Iris, Luna, Monica and Cor had all people they wanted to pay their respect to. Prompto wanted to check on his old place, and Aranea had talked of revisiting a few streets, an attempt Ignis didn't want her to face alone. It had already been agreed that they wouldn't let anyone go out their own. Ardyn's magic was too threatening and Ravus had agreed to forego his lone wolf attitude until they had a proper way of preventing that curse from happening again. After that, they'd locate Etro's church to better understand what was going on with Crowe. She was nervous and no one had the heart to tease Gladio about the way he held her hand during the entire ride.

Hearts heavy and mind heavier still, they rode out, thankful for the sun above their head. Iris sat next to her brother, trying to convey her support to him and reign in her thoughts. Ravus was sitting across from her, between Luna and the trunk's door. She couldn't help but remember their last one on one talk.

Ravus had been tinkering with his metallic arm for most of the morning. It had been itching all night and the fact he couldn't scratch at it properly had nearly driven him up a wall. Ravus knew how to be patient, but his sleep had been haunted by nightmares and memories he'd rather swallow back than face at the moment. The scent of burned flesh was all he could smell, and his head ached. He knew he was most certainly concussed from being dragged around by some Uttu the other day and mentally cursed. He should have looked for Luna or Iris for some healing, but he didn't want to bother either girl when a hi-potion could dampen the symptoms long enough for him to think clearly. And align a few more bolts in the mechanism of his prosthetic.

His tent was large, duffle bag folded in four to serve as a chair, the content of his travel bag was lying all over the space. Books and a few notebooks he'd written in during the course of the last months. Writing with his left hand wasn't easy yet, but as anything else he dedicated himself to, it was slowly working. He had left the flap door unzipped to let in some light. No one had walked close enough for him to give a look outside and he was aiming to keep to himself for a little longer if possible. Until light steps halted too close for comfort. Ravus dropped a bolt and swore under his breath when Iris peeked into the tent, effectively making him jump. She was wearing her usual tank top and black skirt plus her travel boots.

"Did I surprise you?" she asked.

He had his back half turned to her and bent his neck to get a full look at her face.

"You should walk a bit louder if it's not your goal," he commented.

"Is that how you greet the first human being you meet every day?"

"Only when I'm grumpy," Ravus shot back, noticing she was staying by the entrance, gazing in, but hesitating too much to walk in. She rarely looked uneasy around him, not since that first night in the cave and he had to fight against a smile. How endearing could she get? He clipped his elbow into place, flexed his fingers and looked around for the fallen bolt, uttering in a gentler tone: "getting in wouldn't look too good, but you can if you're so eager to check on me."

Iris didn't need to be asked twice and stepped right in.

"How often would you say you're not grumpy?" she asked him.

"There it went…" Ravus whispered, wanting to finish his reparations so he could focus on her.

He was wearing a dark tank top and loose cotton pants that Luna had totally forced on him during their shopping spree, insisting he needed proper sleeping wear. His hair was loosely tied, pushed on his good shoulder and he looked a lot more normal than his usual. It still felt new to Iris. She noticed tension in his shoulders and the fact he wasn't wearing any socks. His two-day beard was a golden brown, and she wondered why it didn't turn out as pale as his hair.

"Are you tuning me out on purpose?"

"What?"

"When are you ever not grumpy?" she insisted.

He screwed the bolt back in his wrist and closed the black cover, slowly turning his metal hand into an experimental fist, before to flex his fingers one last time.

"I'm not grumpy yet. I'm groggy if anything."

"Groggy?" Iris repeated, frowning. "Did Luna check you for wounds?"

He blinked at her once, trying to move away slowly when she shuffled closer to him, as though ready to give him an examination right here and then. A wave of dizziness hit, and he slurred a curse as the smell of burned flesh got worse.

"I think I'm concussed," he admitted dejectedly.

He'd taken pride in walking out of Insomnia unscathed for once, but Iris' hands reached to his head before he could feel any sorrier for himself, her fingers and eyes alight with magic. As much as he'd seen his sister healing people, it felt strange to see the small girl use the same power at the bat of an eye. The light bathing him with warmth felt different too. He'd been healed by three different light bearers in his life now and he could tell. His mother was precise and methodical, somewhat cold in her care, where Luna was gentle and patient. Iris was always in a rush to make the wounded feel better. Her light was like a spark of lightning coursing through his veins. Warm and filled with energy, awaking his entire being.

When she was done fixing the internal bruising, Ravus was left light-headed for reasons very different from any concussion's symptoms. He averted his eyes from her, wondering why this tent looked suddenly far smaller than before. Could he let her as close as before now that he'd admitted to himself what he was truly feeling for her?

"Anything else I should worry about?"

"Nothing a potion hasn't already fixed. You didn't come all the way over here only to play nurse, did you?" Ravus tried to tease her.

The sour taste in his mouth was gone, and all he could smell was the scent of the shampoo she'd used.

"Why not? Someone clearly needs to look after you. What was wrong with that arm?"

He looked a bit embarrassed as he declared:

"I can't scratch it. And I'm not very good at sitting still."

"You never showed me how well it healed, did you? Mind if I take a look?"

He'd barely shaken his head, before to feel her hands tugging on his shirt to expose the stump linked to the metal limb. Her touch wasn't softer than before, but there was something familiar in it, something that made his heart swell with more hope. And want.

The scars were white, the flesh looking sane and Iris couldn't help but notice how his muscles had filled up again. There were scars on his back she hadn't noticed before and her curiosity was getting the better of her, while Ravus mentally counted the seconds she spent examining him. When her hands moved away from the stump, he couldn't stand it in silence anymore.

"Never seen a guy's back without tattoos?"

"I've seen you shirtless before," she reminded him, taking a step back. "It just… seems different now."

He turned around to face her.

"Different how?" Ravus asked her.

The blush on her cheeks could have made him gulp down if he had any saliva left. As it was, he felt just as lost as her. And it didn't seem fair to either of them. Speak up, Luna had said. Hell, that had never been a problem before!

"I…"

"I'm going to ask you a question and I'm going to need a straight answer from you," she stated, looking serious.

She waited for a protest and he sounded quite genuine as he relented:

"Anything."

Her eyes softened, and it took all her resolve to voice the words she'd repeated in her mind on her way there.

"I already know you care for me. But do you like me or not?"

For a second, he couldn't breathe, and his first instinct was to run. But she was between him and the only way out, and it was about time he fessed up.

"I'm still pondering why," he blurted out. He was always clumsy when it came to open up and mentally winced as she frowned.

"What is that supposed to mean?!"

"Give me a chance, Iris. The straight answer is yes, I like you. It runs so deep now, I don't think I could carve you out of my mind even if I tried."

Her hands dropped in her lap, and she saw his hesitation as he pondered the next words. They were sitting face to face, knees nearly touching, and it wouldn't have taken much to tackle her into a hug or for her to shuffle until she sat in his lap, but the distance helped with both of their nerves.

"But I don't…" Ravus halted himself, closing his eyes to gather his thoughts and the feelings that threatened to turn his voice unsteady. "It's been quite a while since I've let myself grow attached to anyone. I've done things… You know how far the limits were. First time we met, you were an obstacle in my path."

"And ever since, you've been a thorn in my side," she retorted. "Treating me like some guinea pig for your big science project."

His face turned two shades paler and she wondered how he managed to make her feel guilty with his mere eyes, simply staring back at her.

"But then you started worrying about me." Iris went on. "You called me whenever you thought I was making things look better than they were."

"And you answered every freaking time. Do you have any idea how… You became my ally, Iris."

When I had no one, I had you. But can I really have you? In every possible sense of these words? Doesn't that make me a monster to ask for even more?

"I think we both kept the other sane. You were always ready to consider my opinion. But where does that leave us now?"

He steeled himself, throat tighter than before.

"At first, I thought I could look at you as a spy. I revised my opinion, thinking you could be like a sister to me. I've dealt with Luna enough to know I can somehow handle that. But I don't want another sister. And I need…"

His eyes wavered and his hands turned to fists as the words eluded him. He didn't want to pressure her into anything and had a feeling that was exactly what he was doing. Iris already felt overwhelmed, but since he was finally being open about his feelings, she decided to take a risk too.

"I know I like you, Ravus. Being around you, even arguing with you."

"Don't smile like that," he cut her off, raking both hands through his hair, as though he wanted to tear it off.

"Why not?"

"It makes your eyes shine," he whispered, despair mixing with amazement.

His heart ached at the very idea someone as sweet as Iris could even like him. Was that all he really wanted? Someone who'd love him back? Iris's smile turned even sweeter and her hands gently reached for his.

"I'm not looking for a brother. I'm not looking for a charming prince or a replacement for my crush on Noctis. I think all I'm looking for is you, Ravus. I don't know which one it is yet, between the fallen prince, the runaway army commander, the passionate scientist or the prosthetic engineer. But I get the feeling I've caught a few glimpses of him."

She knew far too much about him. His well-honed defenses warned him, alarms should have been blaring all over his mind, but his heart felt too big in his chest. His body was numb. He felt heavy and light at the same time.

"Who's the real you, Ravus?"

He wasn't sure anymore. The him from before didn't feel anything that strongly, or that many things at the same time, that was for sure.

"You said you'd asked one question. And if you're telling me you're interested in the wreck I am one more time, I don't know how…"

"Is it so wrong?"

"You're still too young. As mature as you've gotten in the recent weeks, we need to remember the circumstances that…"

Iris's heart was a rightful mess by now. Why did he have to make it so much more complicated? She didn't feel threatened by him, she didn't feel scared or even afraid, in fact, all she was scared was to be rejected and if his only reason was her age…

"Isn't every relationship circumstantial? I've already had a thing for older guys…"

"Stop comparing me to that baby prince!" Ravus snapped.

She cringed at that and nearly pulled her hands away, only to feel him squeezing her palms in an unspoken apology.

"So… I'm a baby?" she insisted, not ready to let it go.

"If our only criteria were age, then yes, you are a baby. But it's not… I've got a lot of baggage. You could do much better than... this," he explained, clearly referring to himself.

Iris felt her anger rising again. Why was everyone always deciding in her stead?

"Then, you want me to be with someone else?"

"Hell no!"

His answer was instantaneous, and she felt her smile come back. Ravus couldn't help himself then. His eyes softened. Iris moved forward and backing away from her was the last wish on his mind, but he still did.

"I see one way for this to… maybe work itself out…" he started.

Iris's hands cupped his face and something inside him ached so strongly, he wondered if he'd audibly gasped at her touch. He'd hugged her and held her and clang to her before, but as she kneeled in his lap, their faces nearly aligned, he felt between peace and torture. Could she belong with him? Could this be… not as wrong as he first thought?

Iris stopped with their nose brushing, screwing her eyes to still be able to look into his. She wasn't sure what she wanted. She knew her heart was ready to burst and a mix of exhilaration and fear was claiming her soul. Wasn't she being rash? But this time around, her heart had fallen for someone who could love her back the way she wanted to. She wouldn't know if she was wrong, if it was wrong, unless she tried. And so many bridges had been burned already. She'd bleed, she'd hurt, she'd doubted, but she was still alive. His hands felt too big, one cold, one warm. Like his words, like his eyes, two colors for one mesmerizing stare.

Her heart was beating so fast, he was bound to hear it. Her palms felt sweaty and she was worried he'd laugh at how little she knew, how inexperienced she was, how nervous she felt. But Ravus wasn't laughing or mocking or even pushing her away. He followed the tug of her hands, neck bending, his metal hand following the line of her spine, his human hand slipping through her hair. Cupping the side of her face. His thumb followed her jaw, his index tracing the shell of her ear. His skin felt rough, battered by training and time. She nearly shivered, or maybe did she want to tremble for some reason she couldn't figure out, but he angled her head upward, pulling her just an inch closer. Their lips brushed, the ghost of a touch, before that his voice rang in her ears.

"We should wait…"

"You're always going to be older and it's not my fault," she retorted.

Where she found the nerves to turn the tables around and make him realize that whatever obstacle he was seeing was in his head.

"Two years," he offered.

"Either of us could be dead by then. And my first kiss can't stop like that."

She heard a rumble coming up his throat and this time, the pressure on her lips was sure. She could feel the scratch of his stubble. The warmth of his skin. The way his fingers held her a bit firmer, as though she could vanish from his grasp. She wanted to melt into him. She wasn't sure what to do, but accepted the kiss, surprised by how gentle it felt despite the urgency she sensed from him.

She gripped to his shirt, pinching him through the fabric without meaning to, but it was all she could do to stay sane as the kiss threatened to turn less pure. He pulled away from her as her lips parted, eyes dark from the rush in his veins.

"You feel so damn soft," he whispered.

The blush on her cheeks rose to her ears and she forced herself to blink, not to stare at his mouth. Her heart was up in her throat.

"I don't know what to do…" she confessed.

"You think I do?" he nearly laughed, but he sounded so overwhelmed, she couldn't feel offended. "This… Give me two years."

"If this is about me growing up or larger in places, I must warn you, I think I'm pretty stunt."

"It has nothing to do with how you look, believe me."

He replaced a few strands of hair on her head and heaved a sigh.

"I don't want you to regret this one day. And as strong as I am, I can't take on your brother and his three best friends…"

"So you love me… But you want it to appear legal before we date…"

"You make it sound even worse than it is. I'll give it to you straight, and I have no idea how wrong it will sound… But I'll want more than you can handle before long."

His eyes had never felt heavier on her and Iris find it hard to hold his gaze. She wanted to shift around, but he was too close and his warning was enough to make her hesitate.

"Are you going to order our relationship around too? What if I can handle it?"

"Maybe one year and a half then. I'm not saying I want us to act like total strangers. Just…"

He took her hands off him and held them between them, looking quite conflicted as he tried to decide between pushing her away or leaning right back in.

"I've been on my own for a very long time now. Give me a chance to get my bearings first. I'll be there for talks, I'll always text you back, if we're stuck somewhere cold, I'll keep you warm, but don't… Don't think the man I am now can make you happy. I'd only take twice as much as I'd give."

Iris felt the knot in her throat grow even larger. And as unfair as a part of her found his arguments, she had to admit there was something chivalrous in his desire to wait. Almost everyone around them had paired up, some throwing caution to the wind due to the dire circumstances they were facing. But Ravus was convinced she'd survived and grow older and wanted to give her a chance to decide for herself, maybe when the world was more at peace. He was also conscious of how broken he was himself and didn't want to burden her with his baggage. And while she wanted to tell him a girlfriend was made for that, she could admit, there were steps she didn't feel ready for. Kissing felt good and she could tell why Gladio barely let go of Crowe or why Prompto had sometimes a stupid smile on his face. But how close could she let him before these feelings overwhelmed her? Was she letting her fantasies shine a better light on him? Was she acting rashly, when all she'd come for were answers?

She felt giddy just holding his hands. Even the metal one. Her heart had made its decision it seemed. She didn't want to think otherwise. She took a few steps back, forced to kneel since they were still in his tent, her hands slowly slipping out from his hold. She nearly wanted to run, so she could hide her blush and regain some sort of composure, but decided she couldn't let him have the final word in this.

"Fine then… We'll wait. And I'll make you regret every wasted minute," she declared cockily, before to rush out of his tent, lips tingling, heart aflutter with more questions than before.

What was she agreeing to?

"I'll hold you to that," Ravus sighed, unable to hold back a smirk.

It was pretty much a miracle either Ravus or Iris managed to act casual when they next met, and she was slowly starting to wonder if she'd dreamed that heart to heart or not. The road was bumpy and Iris had to rego over the words she'd typed before hitting send.

I'm thinking of visiting my old school if it's possible. Would you come with me?

Ravus had put his phone on silent and didn't check it before meeting her pointed gaze, but he gave her a nearly imperceptible nod, typing a few digital keys of his own.

R- Alone?

I- Would that be so bad?

R- Worse. But we can surely get Luna to come along. Although, you'd better keep in mind, what awaits us won't be nice.

I- I know. I just think it would help…

Their eyes met another time and he mouthed the word "sure".

R- I just need to find a way to be more of a jerk, otherwise, Luna will have doubts about my sanity.

Iris rolled her eyes at him and the princess noticed their antics, raising one brow at the young girl before to poke her brother in the ribs, effectively breaking their little exchange.

"That was so uncalled for!"

"I owe you a lot more than that," Luna replied.

The rest of their ride was mostly quiet, the four men from Insomnia trying to list the places they should visit and the one they really wanted to avoid at all costs. Luna could tell Noctis didn't want to go quite as much when they got in sight of the crown city.

The wounds were still fresh and while the empire had no hold left on the city, the damage looked irreparable. After a status report, Cor gave them a few pointers:

"The place is 85 % secure. Daemons are laying low. So, you can split into smaller groups to visit whichever place. Recovering bodies or checking for loved ones isn't… It's been weeks and for stepping on enough battlefield in my life, I recommend you avoid it."

"Our radio lines are working all over the city and we'll be a call away if either of you need anything. This way, we can deploy our men in support at the flick of a button," Monica told them. "Don't try to take everything by yourself."

Cor and her were planning on taking their own route to reach the Citadel. Monica wanted to collect more batteries and they might have a few places they wanted to check for themselves, while not admitting it out loud. The first few steps inside Insomnia weren't the worst. Noctis realized that every new step forward would be just as hard as the one before. The sun shone its harsh light on an endless scenery of destruction.

Carcasses of car, corpses piled up next to the buildings by the hunters who worked tirelessly, the buildings either lying or leaning around, all the ghosts of the biggest city in Lucis. Shards of glass threatened their every step, as did the rubble and the few, sticky puddle of blood the rain hadn't washed out yet. It was a disheartening sight if they'd ever seen one. The few hunters they met on their way lowered their head at the sight of their prince and his retinue. Free Crown knew what Noctis had done to help them develop, but the fight they'd join in a few days ago had been the first official business their new king undertook in the name of Lucis. The people knew he was the reason why the dropships had stopped.

Noctis struggled to keep a straight face as he realized the deference in the eyes on him. He wasn't used to that. There was a nervous knot building up in his throat. Walking up the streets and gazing at the destruction was already a lot to take. Knowing that most of the survivors might expect him to fix this? When it was downright impossible to fix the hole in his chest as he imagined what the destruction might have looked like as it happened. How could ever make up for not being there when his people needed him?

There were a few challenges on their way. While Crowe agreed to follow the most direct path to the Citadel, even though it meant walking by the metro station and the traces of her crisis, they hadn't expected to be reminded in more than one way of their most recent visit.

Prompto paled as he noticed one really smile pile a few streets away from the entrance. Blond hair and pale skin in dark, imperial garments. His brethren. Cindy gasped and Noctis felt something in his heart break when his best friend asked him to burn them. The hunters had their hands full already as it was, still extracting more people from the wreckage. Trying to collect name for some, or gather some distinctive features. Breaking down when they discovered someone else they'd known.

The fire the prince called burned and charred, red and blue flames rising in the air. Prompto insisted on going forward, not really keen on staring at a dozen of guys wearing his face while they slowly burned down. They would never be entirely gone, he could never truly separate himself from that past, but he could still try.

A few daemons made them jump, only to be dismissed by either of the fighters. Taking out their weapons actually felt better than the nearly silent walking. Ignis was lost in thought, Luna walking closer to her brother, while Noctis had Prompto by his side, his tactician close on his trail, Gladiolus on the left. Holding hands seemed meaningless and Iris wondered why her feet felt heavier and heavier with every new step. When they approached Prompto's old district, he decided to part with the guys. Anyone he could miss from the Citadel were already among his friends, still breathing and alive.

"If you don't mind, I'd rather pass… seeing that place again," he explained.

"Sure, man. Give us a call if you need any help."

Cindy followed him and after a few more caution words, both groups parted. It was an ordeal to get inside the citadel with the airship Cindy had crashed and Ravus actually guided them, regarding which path to use and which to stay away from.

Walking through the peace treaty room was a sad necessity and seeing the state in which the councilmen were left little to the Amicitias's imagination regarding the state of their own father. Gladiolus had spotted his sword almost instantly and Iris was holding on her brother's hand for dear life as they hurried across the room. Noctis's shoulders were hanging lower than ever and he had to reel himself in not to break into a run. Luna hadn't gone through the details, but she'd seen his father's last moment and the old resentment he'd pushed aside was back. What he wouldn't give to have a few words with the man, different words then that ominous "Walk tall."

Ravus didn't seem too keen on following at that point and while Aranea, Crowe and Ignis followed the prince and the brown-haired siblings, Luna lingered.

"You know you shouldn't be alone, especially not here. They would all be too happy to pretend you aren't yourself anymore," she warned Ravus, only half meaning it.

"Well, I'm out of place being myself or not. But I… I think I should grab Regis's crown. It wouldn't take long."

A dozen questions came to her mind, but instead, she gave him an approving smile.

"I'll go with you," she offered.

"You sure?"

"I think Noctis will be happy to get it back."

"Thing is, I'm not sure where it fell off."

"Just lead the way, Rave," Luna retorted.

She was pushing herself, but so was he. He relented, happy for the absence of questions about the last time he was here. And the times before. A few helmets lied in corridors. They went up stairs and down dark hallways, Luna lighting her trident to better see in the dark.

"They really do love black, don't they?" Ravus commented two floors later.

Despite the gloomy ambiance, he already seemed less tensed since it was only Luna around. Exploring this castle-like manor was reminding them a little of the first time they'd walked inside their home after their mother's passing.

"They used to worship Etro," she observed. "But if Noctis does build me a castle one day, we'll have white walls."

Ravus chuckled.

"Princesses." He grunted, prying the elevator door open, grateful for his prosthetic. "Careful now," he warned her.

The elevator cage was that same empty hole he'd seen on his last visit. The cables were hanging limply at one side and Luna voiced some concern as he stepped in.

"You monkeyed around this with your red arm barely hanging to your shoulder?"

"Which means there's nothing to fear now that it's well attached. You can wait for me here, but I'm pretty sure it had fallen in that room three floors up and the nearby stairs are all broken."

Luna held back a violent shudder at the idea of stepping back into that room. Where she'd seen Regis' life flickered from his eyes. The body might be gone, but her feelings hadn't mended yet. Her brother had always been one agile climber and she barely weighed anything compared to the weight already on his shoulders.

"You really ought to eat more," he complained.

"I don't comment on your waist line, so I won't take your bullying."

He had no comeback for once and focused on the task at hand. Luna's smile vanished entirely as they reached the room where Regis had fought his last battle. The air was crisp and cold, and among the debris lying around, as Ravus had suspected, the Lucian half crown waited. It looked smaller than Lunafreya remembered, but then again, she hadn't seen it too often.

"You just left it lying around?"

"I remember how you treated mother's tiara."

"I was ten!" she protested almost instantly.

Ravus retorted by throwing the crown into her hands and Luna caught it, her outrage growing a little at his impudence. Thankfully, it did take her mind off the horror she'd been living between those walls. Forced to run away from the man she'd considered like a second father. Leave him to die alone. Unable to give him any assurance that things would be better after his time.

"Let's get you to your prince," Ravus declared, refusing to let her linger on dark thoughts.

The ambiance waiting for them down the elevator's shaft and past the council room was much somber already. Noctis had easily located the king's grave. The ground was still turned, but Ravus had done good work, digging deep enough to make sure nothing would disrupt Regis's eternal slumber. Everyone had taken a few minutes of silence for the king, before to leave Noctis alone in front of the gravestone. As much as the young man wanted to look out for Iris and Gladio, who were walking further down the rows of graves to look for their own father, Noctis felt too shaken to move. Luna found him kneeling before the tombstone, gazing at the letters engraved. King Regis Lucis Caelum, the 113th. There was no epitaph and the fact his name was even there, next to Aulea's own grave meant the world to their son.

It felt hard to breathe, and the ring hanging around his neck had never dug so deep in his flesh. Everything was silent, except for Iris's sobs a few meters away and Noctis fought against the tears that threatened to fall. He was half tempted to use his magic to engrave more words on the stone, but none of them felt right. Loving father… Couldn't he show his love in another way than sending him away from the people who needed them, only to keep him safe? Fair sovereign… Wise… His throat was constricted by so many contradicting feelings.

"Here we are, father... I found Luna. Or maybe she found me. Either way, I got your blasted ring now. I don't know when I'll find the strength to actually wear it. I've been trying… to do as you asked."

"Remember that wherever you go, our line goes with you. Walk tall, son."

The words came naturally, as though he was alone in front of that stone, as though his father was sitting behind it and lending him his ear for once.

"I know I have a lot to do yet before I can… even consider not running. I can't simply walk. Not with how things are right now. But sometimes, I wish it would all just stop."

His fists touched the ground, devoid of strength. His father was cold in the ground and there was no word that could reach him, no magic that could bring him back. Like all the bodies rotting across the city which had been his entire world. And he resented Regis for that.

"How did you do it, dad?"

Facing his fate head on. Standing the people's gaze. Their doubts and their fears. Standing tall when all he wanted was to crumble in a ball of shivers and never come back out.

Luna's hands touched his shoulders then, nearly making him jump in surprise. The tears rolled down then and for an instant he had a right to cry. Then he saw the crown she was holding in front of him. Half a circlet. He held on her hands, his voice breaking.

"Where…?"

"He would have wanted you to have it," she whispered to him.

He took the half crown, turning it around in his shaking hands. The only thought running through his mind was: it was no horn. Dad wasn't…

"I wish I could go back and be a better son," he whispered.

Luna seemed ready to move between him and the tomb, but he held her arms in place as more tears rolled down. He wanted to hide his face against the ground. To push away the memories, the crushed hopes, the questions he couldn't ask again. He could hear the sound of his cane on the marble floors. Remember the few times he'd hid under his desk with carbuncle because he couldn't stand being alone. The night they ran from Tenebrae and the empire. The day he learned on the news his father had gotten hurt and realized he didn't have a right to get the news directly from him anymore. The walls they'd build between them to keep up their roles. King and prince before family.

Instead of giving him empty comfort words, Luna held him closer, kneeling beside him. And she cried with him, because Regis had owed a better fate. To see his kingdom standing a definite chance against its enemies. Even to see his son right now, as he allowed himself to mourn the family he'd entirely lost.

Across the graveyard, the Amicitia tried to make their own goodbyes. Ravus looked up to the sky, sitting down on the ground as he silently prayed.

Give the living a chance to go on.

From the depths of the afterlife, a being heard all their words. Crying hearts. Broken hopes. And behind it all… Blighted flesh. And she vowed to right the unbalance in her world once and for all. For a tiny, measly price…

To be continued…

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This chapter feels like a bridge and I know that Noctis cried his father back in chapter 2, but it's one thing to face the death of someone you love and to see their gravestone. Mourning is really important to me. And I think it's a needed process for what I have planned next. Our following chapter will include some action, a bit of silver/gold and more Ignis. It's really hard to give Ignis the space he deserves in this fic.

Let me know if you think that Ravus and Iris confessed too soon. I think they're still in a weird place, but I honestly can't tell why this whole sequence left me wondering so much of what I should be doing with them. I think it was about time, but the dynamics are going to be harder to manage from now on.

I'll try to have chapter 56 come out faster. I need to get these kids to Free Crown soon. Please review, it makes me incredibly happy.