Once we are in the car, Josh grins like a little boy. "This is exciting. We're having a baby."

I try to smile back. All day long I thought the thing I wanted most today was to meet my daughter but now I'm feeling kind of apprehensive. I have no idea what this is going to be like. I'd sort of like to do it without pain medication. I have a pretty high tolerance for pain but I don't really like it. I don't really like how out of it the morphine makes me feel either. Anyway, I guess there's no turning back now.

It only takes a few minutes to get to the hospital. I didn't realize that our SUV had lights and a siren. It is kind of cool. The hospital is expecting us when we arrive. Phil's announcement into his wrist really did trigger a secret service action plan that included notifying the hospital and dispatching additional agents.

We are escorted direct to a private room, where a clerk is waiting with my file.

"We just need you to sign a few forms, please. This one is to treat you. This authorizes us to give you pain medication."

"Um, I'm not sure. I wanted to try to do it without."

"What method are you using?"

"Lamaze, but we kind of dropped out of the class."

"Are you completely opposed to pain medication?"

"No, but I'd like to try to avoid it."

"Sign the form. They won't give you any without talking it over anyway. But they need it to do an epidural, and in case of a c-section."

"Okay"

"And this one authorizes us to treat the baby. You both need to sign that one."

Once we've both signed she stands up. "There is a gown there, go ahead and put it on. The nurse will be in shortly."

'Okay. Thanks."

Sure enough within seconds of me changing, someone is tapping on the door.

"Come in!"

The nurse comes in smiling. "Got a couple of night owls, huh? And VIP ones from the looks of the men standing outside the door."

"I'm Josh Lyman. This is my wife Donna. We work in the White House."

"It's nice to meet you. I'm Bridget. I'll be your nurse. So, what brings you in?"

Josh's mouth falls open and he gestures at my belly. Bridget laughs. She's obviously playing with us.

"I think my water broke."

"Are you having any contractions?"

"No."

"Are you still leaking fluid?"

"Yes."

"Okay, let's just check." Bridget walks over to the cabinet, opens a drawer and pulls out a thing strip of paper. "Okay slide down and put your feet in the stirrups."

I feel the paper touch me. She looks at it and smiles. "Yep. Your water broke. You're a keeper. Let's do an exam and see if you're dilated at all."

"She wasn't this afternoon at 5. We had a doctor's appointment then. Has someone paged Dr. Andrews?"

"We'll just check again. Maybe she's made some progress since then."

Josh looks away as Bridget does the exam. It makes him squeamish.

"Nope. Still closed up. Okay you can scoot back." She folds up the stirrups. " I'm going to call Dr. Andrews and see how she wants to proceed. Why don't you close your eyes and try to rest for a few minutes. I'll be back before you know it."

"Well, she doesn't seem fazed? Does she?"

"I think she's probably done this before."

"Well, it's good that one of us has." I let out a huge yawn. I am really tired.

"Come on. Lay down. Even a few minutes rest is probably a good idea." Josh stands next to me and runs his fingers over my forehead, brushing the hair off to the side. Maybe I will close my eyes for a few minutes.

It doesn't feel like long before the nurse is back. "Okay. I spoke with Dr. Andrews and here's what we are going to do. We're going to start an IV and give you a drug called Pitocin to induce labor. We're going to hook you up to a machine and we're going to monitor the progress. Dr. Andrews will be in to check on you in an hour or two."

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

I open my eyes feeling kind of foggy. "Josh?"

"Hey. I'm right here." He sitting right next to the bed. " Are you really wake?" He looks more haggard than I've seen him in a long time.

"Yeah. Oooohhhhh." I let out a low moan. That was a really hard contraction. But it brings me back into focus. My water broke, I'm in the hospital. I'm still pregnant.

I look to Josh trying to piece together what is happening. He must see the confusion in my eyes.

"They gave you Pitocin to start the contractions. After a few hours a nurse offered you some demoral just to take the edge off. You didn't react well to it at all."

"I remember throwing up."

"Yeah," He wipes the hair off my face. "You threw up a lot. And in between that you were pretty delirious. Rambling all sort of incoherent things."

He looks rather stricken. Oh my god I hope I didn't say something horrible to him. I've only been joking about this all being his fault.

"What did I say?"

"A lot of 'I'm sorry," "Please stop" and apparently you are very concerned about the Christmas Tree at Rockefeller Center being bigger than the Christmas Tree at the White House." He smiles a bit a the last one and I feel relieved.

"You also called my name a lot. And apparently, you really do love me." He chokes up a little and his eyes are filling with tears.

I grab his hand and squeeze. "Are you okay? Is there something you aren't telling me?"

"I've never seen anyone as sick or hurting as you were last night. And I couldn't do anything to stop it. And the nurses didn't really seem concerned at all. And then you were apologizing to me every time you vomited. I just . . . "

He's choked up again and the tears are rolling down his cheeks now. "I'm sorry. This is my fault. I did this to you."

"Josh . . . " Oooohhhh, it's another contraction and it really hurts. I squeeze his hand but clench my jaw determined not to release a moan while he's feeling so guilty. I pant through it and then it's over.

"Josh, you didn't do this to me. We did this together. We made a baby! And we are going to get to meet her soon. I do love you. More than anything. Everything's going to be fine."

A nurse comes bustling in. I think her name is Bridget.

"Well, now. You are looking a lot better. Glad that nasty demoral is out of your system now."

"Yeah, me too."

"Your husband though. He's a keeper. It was like you had a bulldog guarding you all night long."

I can't escape the peal of giggles. Does she know who he is or was that just a coincidence?

She looks at me quizzically. "Well maybe still a little of the narcotic left?" She checks the machine. "Dr. Andrews will be in on morning rounds in a few minutes."

Sure enough Dr. Andrews comes through the door less than a minute later.

"Hi Josh, Hi Donna. I hear you had a rough night. Let's just see if we made any progress."

Once again Josh keeps eye contact with me while Dr. Andrews does her thing. He can't see her face but I can. There's a quick frown that she immediately smooths over with her neutral professional face.

"What's wrong?" I ask anxiously.

"Oh nothing. I was just hoping for a little more progress. You're barely 1 cm dilated. We need you to get to 10 before we can deliver the baby. I'd really like to have the baby delivered within 12 hours of your water breaking."

"I thought the book said 24 hours?" Josh inquires.

"In my experience if we can't get labor to really get going within 12, it's not going to happen naturally. I don't see any reason to put Donna through 24 hours of trying especially after the night you just had."

"So what does that mean?" I'm still a little foggy.

"We're going to up the Pitocin and see if we can get some good hard contractions to open the cervix. If we don't see some measurable results in the next couple hours, we'll do a C-section."

She smiles at us. "I think you'll need a table for three for lunch." Then she flits out of the room.

Bridge walks over to the machine and turns the dial up a notch. "Okay. Here we go, folks. I'll go get you some ice chips."

"Did you call our parents last night?"

"Yeah. Do you want your Mom?"

"God, no!" I pause, then softly say "Maybe your Mom." He smiles softly at me.

"She's on her way. She was going to try to catch a red eye last night but I told her to wait until the morning. I hope that's okay. I didn't like the idea of her traveling all alone at night. There's a 6:54 direct flight to National. She'll be here in a few hours."

"Okay, good."

"Your Parents are going to book a flight this morning too."

Another wave of pain hits me and I close my eyes. I don't remember the pain being this sharp when I was recovering from Gaza. Of course, I had a morphine drip. I definitely don't want any more of whatever they gave me earlier. I try to think of something else but there's really nothing but pain and trying not to scream.

When I open my eyes again, Josh is standing there, completely pale. The nurse is there too, looking concerned.

"Do you remember your breathing, honey? It helps to try to breath through it. When the next contraction comes I want you," she gestures to Josh, "to sit next to her and hold her hand, and try breathing together."

"And you," she looks at me, "I want you to keep your eyes open and keep eye contact with him. He's going to help you through this, okay?"

She turns the machine up another notch. "I'm trying to get these to start coming a little closer together than every 10-15 minutes."

"I'll come back when the next one starts."

"Do you want some ice chips?"

I nod and he feeds me a few on a spoon. He looks really exhausted. "Did you sleep at all?" I ask, stroking his face.

"No. I'm fine, though. You know I can go along time. I got 7 hours on Thursday night."

He could, but he's not as young as he used to be. He needs to take care of himself too. I feel my stomach tightening and I tense up. Josh notices the change in my posture.

"Is one starting?"

"Yeah." I grit out through my teeth.

"Okay. Take deep breath." I take one and he takes one too. "Okay, let it out slowly"

I try, I really do, but it comes out as a low moan. I can't believe how freakin' much this hurts!

Bridget comes in toward the tail end of it and seems pleased that we are trying to breathe. Barely ten minutes go by and another one comes. They seem to be getting harder and lasting longer. After an hour like this, I'm shaking. Josh is shaking too. And every time I moan, Josh looks like he's in physical pain.

Bridget zips in to check if we are making any progress. She does the exam and looks at the clock. She seems to be contemplating something.

"Well?" Josh asks anxiously.

"How opposed are you to an epidural?" Bridget finally asks me.

"I don't really like the idea of them sticking a needle in my back. I read there can be some lasting side effects. But at this point, I don't care. I just want this baby out."

"Here's the thing. You're just over two centimeters dilated. You're exhausted. The epidural will block the pain. And then maybe your body will relax. That might do the trick. And if not, Dr. Andrews is going to come in and start talking to you about a C-section. If you have a C-section you're going to need an epidural to be awake for it. Otherwise they'll put you completely out."

'How quickly can she get the epidural?" Josh asks eagerly.

"I have to call Dr. Andrews and have her order it, then the anesthesiologist will be down as soon as possible. So probably about 30 minutes or so."

"That's like only 3 more contractions to get through, baby." Josh looks at me anxiously. I can tell he just wants me to not be in pain anymore. And I guess if there is a chance to avoid a C-section, I'd really like to take it.

"Okay. I'll take the epidural." Josh looks relieved.

Bridget smiles at me. "I think that's wise, dear."

Just as she leaves the room, another strong contraction hits, and I'm glad I made the decision. I don't know how much more of this I can take. Josh and I try to breathe but neither of us are very good at it. He looks very, very tired.

Right after the contraction ends, Dr. Andrews pokes her head in.

"I hear that you'd like an epidural." She says cheerfully. "Let's just check things out."

Josh looks quickly away. And Dr. Andrews grins at me.

"Okay, I'm going to be generous and call this a four. We don't normally do epidurals until you're at least a four because we worry about it slowing down labor. But in your case, I don't think that's really an issue. And we are quickly heading toward the twelve hour mark, so I'd like you to get the epidural anyway."

She stands up. Takes off her gloves and washes her hands.

"Knock, Knock" A man in a scrubs pushes back the curtain and rolls a cart in.

"Ah. Here's Dr. Nolan now." Dr. Andrews says by way of introduction. "He's about to be your favorite person."

Another contraction hits while he's setting up his stuff, and Dr. Andrews studies the little print out. Bridget comes in at the tail end. Josh and I muddle through the breathing. I'm kind of surprised no one tells us what to do.

When it's done Josh and I both notice Dr. Nolan's tray. It's got a very large needle on it. Josh's eyes get very wide and he gulps loudly. Little beads of perspiration break out on his forehead.

"Okay, Dad, time to step out." Dr. Nolan suggests.

'N-n-no. I'll stay." Josh stammers bravely. I know he hates this medical stuff.

"Actually, we need you leave the room." Bridget says kindly. When Josh looks like he's going to protest, she says "I'll be right here with her."

"It's okay, go ahead." I put on a brave face when really there's nothing more I want at this moment than for him to stay and hold my hand.

Once he leaves, Bridget sits me up even more. "Okay, Donna, what we're going to do is have you curve over this pillow and hold very, very still."

Bridget holds my hands and keeps eye contact with me and whispers encouraging things and with just a little prick of pain, it's over in a few minutes. She helps me get all settled in and then gives me an oxygen mask.

"You did great Donna. Now I want to you lay back and close your eyes and breath deeply and see if you can get a few minutes rest okay?"

Josh comes in the room and his eyes bug out at the sight of the mask.

"It's okay, Dad, nothing to worry about. It's just oxygen. Good for Donna and the baby. Now, I was just telling Donna to close her eyes for a few minutes, and I'm going to tell you to do the same." She points to the comfy chair in the corner, and Josh sits obediently.

"I'm going to turn this Pitocin up again, and hopefully it won't be long until we need you to push." Bridget turns out the light as she leaves.

As soon as she's gone, Josh gets up out of the chair and pushes the other chair back over to my side.

"Are you okay?" He asks softly, caressing my face.

I move the oxygen mask out of the way. "Yes. It wasn't that bad."

"Can you feel the contractions now?"

"No."

"That's good." He yawns. He has got to be so tired. I think we both need to shut our eyes for a bit.

"Let's try what Bridget said, okay?"

Josh intertwines his fingers through mine, then leans down and puts his head on the bed right next to my arm. "Okay."

I put the mask back over my mouth and nose and close my eyes. I feel so much better now.

About an hour later, Bridget wakes us when she comes back into the room.

"Sorry, dearie. We're at the twelve hour mark. I need to check you and see how things are going."

Josh keeps his head down but I can tell he's awake.

"Yes!" Bridget crows triumphantly. "This is what we like to see. You're a good nine and 3 quarters. Those doctors always want to wait until 4 centimeters for an epidural, but for some women the pain just shuts their body down. It's how they cope. Eliminate the pain and the body does exactly what it's supposed to do."

Josh sits up and grins at her. Then he leans over and gives me a kiss. "Good job, baby."

All I can do is smile at him. It still doesn't feel like I've done anything.

"Okay," Bridget announces, "were going to turn this bed into a delivery table now. Scoot your legs up for a minute." She flips a switch then she takes the bottom part of the bed away.

When she comes back she takes the heel of my right leg in her hand, keeping my leg bend and pushed back toward me.

"Okay, Josh, take Donna's other leg like this. Now Donna, let's give a little practice push, okay? You're going to take a deep breath, then as you let it out slowly you are going to bear down while I count to three. Ready?"

"Okay."

"Alright take the breath." I do. "Let it out and push, one, two, three. . . . okay. Stop. Oh yes, that was perfect. She's crowning. Look here, Josh, you can see the top of the baby's head."

For some inexplicable reason Josh actually looks. His eyes roll back in his head and he wobbles.

"WHOA!" Bridget exclaims jumping up and pushing Josh into the easy chair. "Head between your knees, deep breaths now."

"Donna, push your call button, please." I don't know how she's so calm. I've got a baby coming out of me and my husband is about to pass out!

"Yes, Mrs. Lyman?" A voice answers the call signal.

Bridget speaks up. "Bonnie, it's me. Can you bring some juice and cookies in here. We got a woozy Dad and a Mom about to deliver, and send Dr. Andrews in STAT."

After that everything happens really quickly. An aide hustles in with a package of cookies and a can of juice for Josh. Dr. Andrews and Bridget talk me through the pushing, Josh resumes his place next to me and holds my hand and keeps telling me I'm doing great.

Then before long, Dr. Andrews says "And here she is!" She asks Josh if he wants to cut the cord. He turns pale and quickly says no.

Then she puts Lulu on my chest for a minute. She's gooey, and squalling, and squishy, but she's mine!

Josh looks at her in amazement. Then another nurse takes her away.

"Hey! Where are you taking her?" Josh exclaims.

'Just getting her cleaned up and taking measurements. You can come over here and watch."

Josh looks to me for permission and I nod. Bridget helps me through the rest of the delivery process, and I get stiches because apparently something tore, and then, finally, it's over.

Suddenly, Josh is standing next to me again. I'm overwhelmed by the sight of him holding a little bundle wrapped in a striped blanket. He's looking down at her with pure bliss. I've truly never seen him happier.

Just like that all of my reservations about her name vanish. He can call her anything he wants. If he looks at her like that, she'll know without a doubt that she's loved.

"Hey. You look good with a baby."

"Oh my god, Donna. She's amazing. Ten fingers, Ten toes. A little button nose. She's got blue eyes! And look-" he pulls off her little hat, "brown fuzz!"

"So, what's her name?"

He looks up in surprise. "Really? You're letting me pick?"

I give him my brightest smile and nod. I'm pretty sure I know what he'll pick. And oddly, I'm okay with it. It feels right. Plus if she hates it when she's older, I'll just tell her it's her Dad's fault.

"Leonora" He whispers reverently. "Leonora Moss Lyman."

Oh! We hadn't talked about middle names. Neither of us had them. I just started using Moss as a middle name when we got married. Leonora Moss Lyman. I like that.

"Hey Lulu" he grins while he places her in my arms. "Say hello to your Mom."