Disclaimer: Not mine, big thanks to GLee68!

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Chapter 51

"Mmmm Blaine, turn off the alarm," Kurt mumbled the next morning.

Blaine's hand snaked out from beneath the covers and began pounding the nightstand randomly until he managed to find and hit the snooze button on the clock. But no matter how hard or often he made contact with the clock, the noise just wouldn't stop.

"Blaaaaaaaaaaaaine, turn it offffffffffffff already," Kurt whined.

"I'm trying but this fucker just won't. shut. UP," Blaine said, rapidly getting frustrated.

Kurt sat up in bed and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes with his knuckles. Gradually gaining more and more consciousness, he realized that Blaine's efforts were worthless. "Blaine, that's not the alarm."

"Well what the hell is it, then? Make it STOP."

Kurt crawled out of the snug cocoon he had made for himself between Blaine and the blankets and followed the sound, which he had identified as a large quantity of cowbells, to the window. He opened the curtains and looked outside, and immediately did a double take. "What in the WORLD…?"

By then, Blaine had finished using the alarm clock as a punching bag and padded over to the window to join Kurt and see what the commotion was. "The fuck?" he said in surprise. "Kurt, am I seeing things?"

"If you're seeing a giant inflatable RAT outside the hotel across the street, then either we both ARE seeing things or we both are NOT seeing things."

"Oh my god, is that an inflatable cockroach they're blowing up at the back of the truck there?"

Kurt shuddered. "Yep, that's a roach all right. I wonder what that's all about and why they feel they must do something about it at…" he looked at the alarm clock that was still managing to function even after the beating Blaine had given it, "7:12am? How rude," he said in his best Stephanie Tanner voice.

Blaine sighed. "Well, we're up now. We might as well grab some breakfast and go through these housing ads we picked up yesterday. The gang will be here tomorrow and once they get here, our free time is going to be GONE."

They decided that, in the interest of getting an early start, they would perform their morning bathroom routines separately. Once they were dressed in clothing appropriate for apartment hunting, they headed to the hotel lobby to take advantage of the free continental breakfast (one of the main reasons they chose that hotel), and sat down at a table with their ads and Kurt's laptop. They read each ad together, and as they found one that looked okay, Kurt would make a note of it on his computer and plot out the address on a map. When they had a list of possibilities, they ranked them and called the agents to make appointments to see them that day. By the time they were done, they had a list of half a dozen apartments to see, most of them stretching the upper limits of their price range, but they expected that after getting the reality slapped into them by their bus tour guide.

Kurt finished his now-soggy bowl of corn flakes while Blaine inhaled the last of his donut ("with rainbow sprinkles, Kurt! I love sprinkles!") and chugged down one last glass of orange juice. Kurt was glad for the free meal – he himself ate what he considered a normal amount of food, but Blaine's appetite could stretch the budget on occasion.

Upon speaking with the hotel doorman, who was really sweet and was happy to talk to anyone who acknowledged his presence, Kurt and Blaine learned that the racket that woke them was a group of protesting hotel workers fed up with the working conditions. They were happy to be told that the group of protesters usually didn't stay in front of the same place very long (they represented workers of many different hotels) and that they didn't usually protest at the same place two days in a row. They sighed in relief knowing that it was unlikely that their sleep would be interrupted again before they went home. "Remind me, though, to make sure that any apartment we are interested is NOT located on the same block as a hotel," Kurt said to Blaine. Blaine nodded in agreement. New York was noisy enough – they didn't want to invite trouble.

The doorman was also kind enough to tell them which bus and subway routes would be best to get to some of the addresses on their list. Both the subway and the bus went to pretty much anywhere, but the first apartment was farther away from where they were than the rest of them, so they decided to be brave and try the subway for the first time.

They located a subway entrance with the correct route on the sign and made their way down underneath the streets. They took a moment to look around and get their bearings, and then made their way over to a vending machine selling MetroCards. After doing a little bit of quick math, they decided that a pay-per-ride would be the best value for them that day – when they moved there, they would be taking advantage of the unlimited ride passes, but since they would only be on their own for one day more, the unlimited ride passes weren't necessary.

After a little bit of running around, they successfully found the train they were supposed to be on and began their journey to the first apartment.

"This is so exciting!" Kurt said, wiggling in his seat. "I feel so….grown up going house hunting with you!"

"And you have the nerve to call ME hyper," Blaine joked. "But I love it too. I can't wait to find our place, move in, watch you decorate it as fabulously as possible within our budget and whatever limitations there are in our lease, wake up with you every morning, fall asleep with you every night…"

Kurt snuggled up closer to Blaine. "Some people's idea of Heaven is endless wealth, no responsibility, unlimited sexual partners with no consequences… mine is sitting right here next to me." Kurt jumped. "Eek!" he squeaked. "The cold hands up the back of my shirt when I'm not looking were NOT part of the vision, Blaine!"

Blaine cackled evilly. "I have to take my chances when I can get them!"

Kurt raised his eyebrow into his patented Kurt Hummel bitchbrow just as their stop was announced. "I will save my death glare for another time, Mr. Anderson. Be afraid, and watch your ass."

"No, thanks, I'd rather watch yours."

"Just get off the damn train before it leaves again with us on it," Kurt ordered as he shoved Blaine gently ahead of him. "Now, according to the map, the apartment should be just a couple of blocks…" He paused, getting himself reoriented. "…over that way," he said, pointing north.

"Sounds good. I'll trust you. Let's get moving, though. We've only got ten minutes before the agent is supposed to be there so we should walk fast."

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"Kurt and Blaine?" A woman in a (highly unflattering, Kurt thought) skirt suit addressed them as they jogged up to the building.

"Yes, we're sorry if we kept you waiting. It was our first time navigating the subway," Kurt apologized.

"No, no worries. I was already here, just checking to make sure the apartment was ready to show. My name is Sherry. Let's, uh, take a look, shall we?" Sherry eyed the boys uneasily. Kurt wondered to himself if she might be a little homophobic, but tried to push the thought out of his mind. He knew homophobes were everywhere, but he kind of assumed people in such an occupation would be a little more open-minded.

As they climbed the stairs to the apartment (there was no elevator as this was not a traditional apartment building – it was merely a storefront at street level with a few units above), Kurt began to understand why Sherry had developed such a sour face. She opened the door and led them inside.

The boys both stopped dead, right in the doorway.

"BLAINE! This looks just like the place they filmed Joe's Apartment!" Kurt hissed.

"I kinda liked that movie," Blaine said thoughtfully.

"Well, I did too, but I don't want to LIVE it! Singing and dancing COCKROACHES, Blaine."

"Hey, those cockroaches were pretty talented. All those carefully choreographed numbers in the toilet…"

"Blaine!"

"And they were rather sweet, once Joe wasn't trying to kill them…"

"BLAINE! Concentrate! This is NOT our new home. Sherry?" The agent, who was shuffling about the space waiting for Blaine and Kurt to finish their conversation, looked up at Kurt questioningly. "I'm sorry to have taken up your time, but this apartment is nothing like we were hoping for."

She nodded understandingly. "I knew from the moment I saw both of you that it probably wouldn't be. You two both appear to require something a little more…clean."

Kurt sighed in relief. He was glad to have confirmation that Sherry's reaction wasn't them, it was the space. "Right, exactly. We kind of expect our first apartment in New York to be somewhat of a hovel, but this is pushing it."

The three of them shook hands and made their way back down to the street. After the boys thanked her for her time, she confided in them, saying, "I heard your conversation earlier, and I just wanted to say, you're not far off about Joe's Apartment. That was filmed down the street."

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A/N – I don't know where Joe's Apartment was filmed. I just thought it was funny to have her say that.

So, I am DONE writing this story. I have submitted the end of the story and the epilogue to my beta. So, what do you say I bump up the update schedule from what I said last chapter? Yeah, I thought so. I think it's a good idea, too. We'll go with Mondays and Thursdays til the end unless I feel like giving you even more.

By the way - the rat and cockroach are NOT something I made up. That is EXACTLY what happened on my first morning in New York. I was not impressed LOL