Disclaimer: This chapter is probably going to be short, since I'm losing my motivation to write. I should take a break.
Chapter 54:
Michiru sat in the living room, trying to think of ways to get Haruka to eat a proper amount of food.
As she sat there, she was unaware that Haruka had been trying to get her attention for the past couple of minutes.
Haruka was finally able to gain her attention by roughly shaking her shoulder.
"Huh, what? Oh, Haruka it's you. What brings you here?"
"I live here, remember? Are you alright, I've been trying to get your attention for the past couple of minutes but you were really lost in thought."
"Yes, I'm alright. I was just trying to figure something out."
"What were you trying to figure out?"
"You. Well more specifically your eating habits."
"What about them?"
"Setsuna mentioned to Dr. Furuya that she was concerned about you still not eating enough."
"Okay, well I'll eat more when I'm ready."
"That's what I told Setsuna, but she wants you to start eating more asap."
"Why?"
"There's a lot that's going to be brought up at the trial, and one of those things is your hospital stay and the reasons behind it. If you don't start eating normally the judge may think Setsuna won't be able to get you to and order that you be placed with someone that can get you to eat."
"Would they really do that? Would they really take me away from my family if I don't eat?"
Sadness was clear in Haruka's voice, and Michiru wrapped her arms around her.
"I'm not sure, but you're not going anywhere. I'm not letting anyone take you away from me. Not now, not ever."
Michiru then kissed the top of Haruka's head, the small gesture let her know that she was loved and protected.
As Michiru sat there holding Haruka, something occurred to her.
"You know, I just realized you haven't eaten anything all day."
"That's because I spent the day with you. Also, you haven't eaten anything all day either."
"You're right, guess it must've slipped my mind. What about you though, why haven't you eaten anything all day?"
Haruka shrugged her shoulders.
"I guess I wasn't all that hungry."
"Are you sure you weren't just planning not to eat today?"
"Not at first, but since the day is nearly over I don't see the point in eating anything today."
Michiru gave Haruka a look of concern.
"Baby, you need to eat Especially with the medication you're on."
"I'll eat, just not today."
"Ruka...it's not good to starve yourself. You really need to eat dinner tonight."
"I can't."
"Why, because it's too late to eat anything today?"
"That's one of the reasons."
"What's the other reason?"
"I can't break the vow I made not to eat normally until I reach my goal weight."
"Sure you can. You haven't eaten today, so you aren't thinking clearly. Just eat dinner tonight and then you'll feel better, trust me."
Haruka shook her head.
"No, you don't understand. I can't do it, I can't break the vow I made."
"Why can't you break it?"
Haruka let out a heavy sigh. She wanted to tell Michiru why she couldn't break her vow, but she didn't want her to freak out.
After a few moments of having an inner debate with herself, Haruka decided it was time to come clean.
"Follow me, there's something I need to show you."
Haruka then walked up the stairs to their bedroom with Michiru following behind.
When they got into the room, Haruka went into her school bag and pulled out a notebook. She then handed it to Michiru who opened it and began to read.
As she read it, she felt her heart drop and a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.
In the notebook Haruka had written about how much she hated herself, how worthless she thought she was, and how she viewed herself as a fat waste of space.
Michiru wanted to close the notebook and not read anymore, but something in her gut was telling her to read one more page. So, turning the page Michiru found something that made her heart shatter. Haruka had written about vowing to reach her goal weight by a certain date and if she didn't she had a plan to end her own life.
Michiru was unaware that she had begun to cry, until she felt Haruka's hand on her cheek wiping her tears away. The tall blonde then pulled her lover close, wrapping her in a strong embrace.
"Why...why are you doing this to yourself?"
Michiru managed to choke out between sobs.
"Despite the positivity going on in my life, I'm still in a very dark place mentally."
"What can I do to help you get out of the negative mental state you're in?"
Haruka smiled, thankful to have such great support.
"Just the fact that you're willing to still love me despite my constant self loathing is more than enough."
"Still though, there must be something else I can do."
"You're already doing enough, I couldn't ask for more."
"I just don't want to see you hurt yourself."
"I know, and I'm going to get better. But it'll be at my own pace."
"Okay, but will you at least eat dinner tonight?"
"I'll think about it."
Michiru let out a sigh, but knew that when it comes to Haruka and food it's best to let her do as she pleases.
"Alright, just please make the right decision."
End of chapter 54:
A/N: I'll try to post the next chapter soon, but like I said I should probably take a break. Until next time, this is PokémonSoulMaster93 signing out.
