The Isadora Diaries:
Storyful:
Wednesday, April 11th
What up, Laptop? I'm back.
And I have got another story!
I've always got some sort of story.
I'm so full of stories!
I'm so storyful!
Shut up, it's a word.
And if it's not, it will be.
I once read this book called Frindle like ten million years ago (just kidding it was actually, like seven), and this boy in the book made up a word which was frindle, and it eventually became a word.
So if he can make up a word, I can.
I just added storyful to my laptop's dictionary.
What. Now.
We haven't even gotten to the story I wanted to tell yet.
I'm such a failure!
Anywho…
Earlier this afternoon (today is Wednesday, and I texted him on Monday. MONDAY), Mark finally decided to text me back.
Straying off subject for a minute here, Klaus did try to talk to me again today and find out why I'm being such a massive weirdo, but the story's not really that interesting, so I won't be going into detail about it. It just involves the now usual him being all "What's wrong?" and me punching him in the face.
Oh.
Maybe I should go into detail.
But not now because I want to talk about Mark first.
Well, look at me telling you about my day all backwards.
Anywho…
I had just set my stuff down in the corner of my room (so its nasty school germs won't infect the rest of my room) when I heard my phone vibrate in the pocket of my purse.
I bent down to take it out of the pocket and unlocked it to see that Mark had texted me.
I do not think that you could possibly believe how absolutely relieved I was that it was not Klaus. For a second there, I was afraid that he remembered that he had a phone with my cell phone number programmed into it. I seriously think that he forgot because it just doesn't make sense for him to be all relentless at school, and then not bother to text me either after school. I mean what does that say about him?
It says that he only cares about me at school and not anywhere else!
That would actually be really depressing…
No, I really do believe that he forgot. Klaus isn't exactly the brightest light bulb in the…on the ceiling (yeah, that's a good one). He hardly ever uses his phone anyway, so it'd be way too easy for him to forget. The boy literally forgets he even has one.
That's right. I was serious when I said that he probably forgot he had a phone earlier.
This actually happened while my cousins were. It was the day we went out for a walk. After we got back to my house, we sat in the living room for a while. I clearly remember him taking his phone out of his pocket and leaving it on the table. We sat there for a while just talking until my Aunt Josie saw us and had a supersized freak attack and kicked him out of the house.
Okay, she didn't kick him out of the house.
But her freak attack was so big, I told him that it would probably be best if he left so that there wouldn't be another funeral in my family.
The boy had just stepped out the front door when I yelled at him from the living room, "Hey, Klaus! You forgot your phone!"
I could hear his footsteps coming closer to the living room, and I heard him muttering loud enough for me to hear, "I don't have a phone." Then he saw me holding out his black cellular device. "Oh, yeah!" And suddenly, his memory came back.
See?
He forgets.
Texting him is just as bad. This is what our conversations look like:
Isadora:
December 8th, 2010
Hey
Klaus:
March 27th, 2012
Hey
I'm dead serious.
Look at me getting all off-topic.
I'm sorry, we had left-over cake! Don't hate me!
I don't mean to get distracted!
These things just happen.
Movie quote time!
These things don't just happen.
You're right, Klaus Baudelaire.
You are so right.
The cake planned this all along.
…all along…
BACK ON-TOPIC NOW OKAY.
So, yeah I was really relieved that it was Mark who texted me and not Klaus. He told me that he was sorry for texting him back so late. Apparently he was grounded for accidentally running over his sister with his car.
I'm just kidding, it was his bike.
You should've known that wasn't true before you read it. He's not old enough to drive!
I'M TALKING TO THE LAPTOP AGAIN.
Anywho…
In the first text I sent him, I was asking him if he could help me with something, and now he wanted to know what I needed.
I need to figure out the passcode to this girl's phone without her knowing. Any ideas?
It didn't take long for him to answer. I had just enough time to step out of the room. He's a fast texter.
Unlike most guys.
Definitely unlike Klaus.
Anywho…
His answer read,
Um, can I ask why?
I decided it wouldn't hurt to him the truth.
Who was he going to tell?
Not Haley.
Because she has videos on her phone of me and my brothers that she's blackmailing me with.
Mark:
What? Oh my, god why?
Me:
Because I'm best friends with the guy she likes, and she wants me to stay away from him.
Mark:
It's not Klaus, is it?
Me:
It is, actually…
Mark:
Okay, she's trying to break up my favorite couple, and that's not cool. You should punch her in the throat.
Me:
Hahaha! That's not a bad idea! But seriously, I need to find out her passcode, and I have no idea how.
Mark:
I really want to help, but I really don't know…can I get back to you on that?
Me:
Sure, but please hurry.
I didn't send the message just yet because I was thinking about asking him to the dance in the message, too. Before I could stop myself, I added, Hey, can you help me with something else, too?
Mark:
Sure, what?
Me:
It involves you going to my school's dance with me. JUST AS FRIENDS OF COURSE.
Mark:
Can I ask why?
Me:
Bea and I can't distract Haley enough at school to be able to get a hold of her phone. She always has it next to her so it's kind of impossible. If we find out her passcode soon, we're hoping to get her distracted at the dance so we can get her phone and delete the videos. You would be a really good distraction.
Mark:
So is that all I am to you? A distraction?
Me:
Come on, Mark! IT's not like that!
Mark:
I know, I'm just kidding. Yeah, I'll do it. How do you want me to distract her?
Me:
You're attractive, and she's a flirt. And since you'll be with me, she'll want you even more. Seriously, just talk to her and she'll be all over you.
Mark:
That's kind of weird.
Me:
I know. Will you still do it?
Mark:
Yeah, sure. I've wanted to be a part of a crazy scheme.
Me:
Another reason why I asked you.
Mark:
I bet you asked me because you're hoping it'll make Klaus jealous, too, didn't you? ;)
Me:
Shut up.
Me:
Okay, maybe a little.
And just like that, I had a date to the dance, and another associate in the scheme that was stealing Haley's phone.
Who knew that stealing a stupid phone would take so much planning.
Honestly, I feel like I'm a part of Charlie's Angels or something.
Dude, I haven't seen that movie in forever.
Okay, I'm off-topic again.
Anywho…
I explained to Mark that he needed to come dressed up as one of his favorite characters, and then we had to say goodbye because he had to do homework. He said he would text me later if he came up with an idea that could me and Bea get Haley's passcode.
I hope he does.
Because Bea and I can't get it.
I'm so surprised, too! Bea is usually an evil genius! Today, we tried to get her to say her passcode by using reverse psychology, and tricking her into saying it after getting it wrong.
We were careful both times to not make her suspicious about we were trying to do. To do that, Bea was the one who had to try and get it from her because is weird anyway. No one would ever question why she wants someone else's passcode.
We never got her to say her passcode, but we did get a clue what it could be. Today at lunch, Bea even went over to Haley's lunch table (where she sits with Kaley and a bunch of guys) and said, "Hey, I want to put a passcode on my phone, but I'm afraid I might forget it. How did you come up with your passcodes?"
A bunch of guys said it was, like, they're dog's name or something. Bea didn't really pay attention to them because they're not Haley.
Haley actually never said anything, but Kaley did, and those two are just about the same in every aspect. "
Kaley rolled her eyes and said, "Why don't you just use a birthday just like everyone else in the world?"
So we had one possibility there. If Kaley thought it was best to use a birthday, then Haley must think the same thing.
Bea came back and told me what she said right afterwards. "Do you know Haley's birthday?" she asked.
I shook my head. "I never felt the need to learn it. Besides, it could be anyone's birthday."
Bea frowned. "That's true. Hey, did Mark ever text you back?"
I shook my head, "No. I try to talk to him again tonight and ask him if he has any ideas, but we should still keep thinking just in case he doesn't answer."
"Or if he doesn't have an idea," Bea said.
"That too."
And I already told you about Mark texting me back and the conversation we had, so we're just going to move along to the next story.
Which starts this morning.
Wow, I'm just going so backwards today. What is wrong with me?
UGH. THE STORY IS SO LONG.
No, it's not. I'm just getting too lazy to type it down.
Okay, I'll suck it up and do it.
Anywho…
It started this morning in history class (just like the other times) when Klaus tried to talk to me. He waited until the end of class when the teacher lets everyone talk so we wouldn't get in any trouble. Instead of just talking to me like a normal human being, he passed me a note (again). This time it said something different, though. It read,
Hey.
(I didn't write 'best friend' this time, so you don't have to spit on the paper.)
Since 'best friend' was indeed written on the paper, whether he was calling me that or not, I could still spit on it. But that was yesterday's joke. Today is a new day. Well, it's almost eight o'clock, so it was a new day.
New day = new joke.
I wasn't sure how I could possibly top spitting on his paper, though.
After I read the note, I turned around and handed it to Duncan. "Here. This is for you."
"No, it's for her!" Klaus protested taking the note back. "Come on, Isadora, here's a pencil," he handed me a pencil and the note. "Now write something back."
"Dude," Duncan said, "why don't you just talk to her like a normal human being?"
Obviously I'm not the only one in this world who he think that Klaus isn't a normal human being.
"Because she won't talk to me!" Klaus said with frustration easily traced in his voice.
Without saying a word, I turned back to sit in my seat correctly and began writing.
I'm sorry, I wrote. Then I added underneath it, Jk, no I'm not, and handed it back to him without looking up.
Klaus sighed loudly.
He didn't get a chance to try anything else because the bell rang, freeing me from his constant attempts to get me to talk to him.
This time around, I left the class before Klaus did, so he couldn't corner me again.
I was prepared this time.
But I wasn't prepared for Haley to corner me by my next class.
WHY CAN'T THESE PEOPLE LEAVE ME ALONE?
Geez. Klaus isn't making staying with the plan any easier, and now Haley wants to bother me some more. She's already got me trying to stay away from Klaus. What more could she possibly want?
Haley opened her mouth to say something, but I immediately cut her off. "Before you say something, I just want you to know that I really am doing my best to stay away from Klaus, but I can't help that he's been coming to me! You can't post that video online or anything because I've been doing exactly what you said."
Haley rolled her eyes. "Relax. I just came to tell you that Klaus is starting to give up on you. At first he you'd be all he would talk about. 'Haley what should I do?' 'Haley, you're a girl, what could be wrong?' Blah, blah, blah, it was very annoying. But now he's starting to surrender." She smiled not-so-sweetly. "Keep up the good work." And she left.
What. A. Relief.
I thought I'd been doing a bad job of looking like I was totally with her plan, but I guess not.
YES!
I couldn't believe that Klaus was 'starting to surrender' because it really didn't feel like it. He was still trying to talk to me whenever he could. Like I said before, he's persistent.
He also tried to talk to me during lunch while Bea was trying to figure out Haley's passcode at her lunch table.
He sat next to me at lunch and said, "Isadora, I'm not giving up on you. I will try to talk to you every single day until you tell me what's wrong."
So much for starting to surrender.
I have no idea where Haley got that idea. 'I'm not giving up on you' doesn't sound like surrender to me.
I think Haley needs a dictionary.
Anywho…
I dropped my head onto my arms, which were resting on the table and groaned.
"Isadora," he said putting his hand on my arm.
"Don't touch me!" I yelled sharply, flailing my arms about, and accidentally punching Klaus in the face.
"Ow!"
After realizing what I had done, I brought both of my hands to cover my mouth as I gasped in surprise. "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry." Then I remembered that I was supposed to be mean to him, so I quickly added, "Oh, wait. Never mind, it's just you." And I turned back to my food.
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Klaus staring at me and rubbing his cheek. "Quigley was right; your punches have gotten harder."
I felt really bad for accidentally punching him in the face, but under the circumstances, it was probably a good idea to use it to my advantage.
"Yeah, uh, Klaus," Duncan said warningly, "you might not want to bother her. She's been really moody. It's not exactly safe to mess with her. She kicked me in the ear today."
It's true I did.
He woke me up five minutes earlier than I get up by jumping on my bed.
If you ask me, he deserved it.
"Sweet Jesus," Bea, who just returned from Haley's table, muttered under her breath. "Come on, Klaus." Bea pulled Klaus out of the seat by his elbow. "Your girlfriend's waiting for you over there."
"She's not my—ow! Why is everyone hurting me today?!" Klaus cried as Bea kicked in the leg. I gave her questioning look. "Was kicking him necessary?"
She shrugged. "It was to get him going. See? He's leaving."
"Okay, we are obviously missing something," Katelyn said, crossing her arms.
I didn't expect her or Jo to be paying attention because they were having a deep conversation about what they were wearing to the dance.
I guess you get automatic attention from everyone around you when you punch someone in the face.
I shrugged. "You're not really missing anything."
"Then why are you being so mean to Klaus?" Jo asked.
Great.
Now I had to come up with a lie to tell my friends.
I considered fake crying and babbling about nonsense. It doesn't matter what you're saying when you're crying. When you see someone cry, you just sort of act like you understand what's going on and try to comfort them.
So I started fake crying.
I tried forcing tears into my eyes and began trying to explain myself sounding the way a crying girl would sound. "Because I just don't want to talk to him, okay? *sniffle* And sometimes I just want things, and no one understands, and I've just been PMSing all day, and I don't know what to do!"
It's also a good idea to throw PMSing in there because then any surrounding girls will be like, "OH MY GOSH I UNDERSTAND YOUR PAIN HERE HAVE SOME CHOCOLATE." And everything is all good.
Don't get me wrong, I hated having to lie to my friends. I actually kind of regret it, and I'm seriously considering telling them the truth. The only problem is, Jo can't really keep a secret. She knows it, too. She once told me that you can easily pressure her into telling you something she's not supposed to talk about. And I've believe her because I've actually seen it happen before.
That's why when Jo and I first became friends, she told me to do us both a favor and not tell her any secrets.
I could tell Katelyn, but she and Jo are best friends, so Jo would probably find out anyway. Besides, I don't want her to be the only one excluded from the loop. They both know Bea and I are best friends, so it's okay to keep things between us. They do the same thing, anyhow.
I still feel bad, though…we all are friends.
I make up for it and tell them after the dance, when I get those videos deleted from Haley's phone.
Oh, hey! Mark just texted me, and he says he has an idea!
I knew I could count on this guy.
3,121
"We're just a mess of moments
That's adding up to where we are
And you're the frame and focus
That's making sense of it so far
I'm not depressed or hopeless
I'm only walking in a blur
And you're the frame and focus
I'm the scene, you're the director..."
~ Frame and Focus by Lights
One of my most favorite songs by her. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. :3
;)
