I do not own One Piece. Eiichiro Oda does.

I really gotta stop taking so long to do this... Well, let's get on with it!

MetalMadness122: I have a specific question for each Straw Hat.

Luffy- Why are you so intent on becoming pirate king? Isn't having a 300 mil. Beri bounty enough?

Luffy: Nope, it isn't. I have a promise to keep. I promised Shanks I'd become the Pirate King!

MetalMadness122: Zoro- Why do you always get so lost?

Zoro: WHAT!?

MG: Nah, Zoro doesn't get lost. He just takes the scenic route.

Zoro glares at MG

Metal: Nami- Can you do anything other than use the clima tact?

Nami: You mean to fight? Um, no. I don't like fighting.

MG: Not always, anyway. She's "part-pacifist", you might say.

Metal: Ussop- Where do you come up with your stories?

Usopp: Come up with? They're all true--

MG:Well, Usopp has a big imagination! 'Nuff said.

Usopp: angrily Hey, MG! I wasn't finished!

Metal: Sanji- How could you deal with sounding like the Fonz combined with a Brooklyn cab driver?

Sanji: I didn't, thank God. None of us had to go through any of that shitty 4Kids dub. But, to put it mildly, I'm not impressed.

Metal: Chopper- Shouldn't you be in medical school instead of on a pirate ship?

Chopper:I learned all I know about medicine from Doctor and Doctorine.

Metal: Robin- How bad was it to sound like a hick in the U.S.?

Robin:Well, like Cook-san said, none of us had to go through the 4Kids dub. I imagine, however, that it would be unpleasant.

Metal: Franky- WHY DO YOU NEVER WEAR PANTS?!

Franky:Hoo, boy. rolls eyes Another pants question?

MG: Eh, I'll answer it. to Metal Well, Franky likes to "express himself", though what about himself, I'm not sure.

Franky: Easy! My manliness! Ow! poses

MG: rolls eyesAhem. Anyway, he's just eccentric. Fuggedaboudit!

Metal: Brook- How can you play instruments if your brain rotted out, leaving you unable to even think?

Brook:Hmm... You know, that's a good question. I guess the Devil Fruit allows you to think just as you always have, with or without a brain. Amazing, isn't it! Yohohohohoho!


Now for Uzumaki Kagome-chan...

(same introdution as before...you know, the ship...)

UK-chan: hey guys...(soaked in blood) (cute smile)

Chopper screams and hides behind Robin's leg. Everyone is shocked.

Usopp:Wh-Why are you covered in blood!?

UK-chan:hey luffy-chan! 8D!(glomp)

Luffy: Whoa! Wait. looks at her sternly in the eyes Why are you covered in blood?

Author's Note: See her reply next chapter. Or the chapter after that.

UK-chan: well, i'm in mine yaoi-fangirl mode right now, so, to start...

MG: Uh-oh.

UK-chan: Zoro/Sanji: Have you ever read the LEMONS about you 2?i read ALL zoroxsanji fics in ff and i luv them , THEY'RE HOT!-

Sanji: !? a bit depressed Oh, not again!

Zoro: stress markDon't you people have better things to do than create, or even look at, pairings that'll never exist?

MG: It seems they don't WANT to read those pairings. To be honest, neither do I.

UK-chan:Nami:(opens a hole in the air and pulls Kakuzu from it) meet the only person who luvs money more than you!

Nami:...Um, hello...? (Geez, this girl's random!)

Author's note: I don't know who Kakuzu is, so I'm unable to write a reply. Sorry.

UK-chan: Luffy:If you could get the powers from other DEVIL FRUIT, what fruit would be?

Luffy: ... thinks about it...Oh! I think I'd like the Baku-Baku Fruit! You know, the one Wapol ate?

UK-Chan:Chopper:Tsunade-obaa-chan sent you this(throws various corpses from criminals on him) have fun!

Chopper: EEK! pops out of the pile of corpses and runs awayNOOOOO!

MG:Oo; Uh, sometimes, UK, I swear there's something wrong with you!

UK-chan: Robin:do you know who is Uchiha itachi?(it's in the books i gave you)if yes, what's your opinion about him?(i think you 2 would make a great couple!)

Robin: blushes, and actually seems angryYes, I know who Itachi is. He's the man who killed his own parents. I'd rather not think about him.

UK-chan: Marimo-chan!:why the hll you are paired up with luffy in so many yaoi fics? oO?

Zoro: What the hell are you asking ME for!?

MG: He dunno.

UK-chan:MG:YOUR FIC ROCKS MY WORLD! ;P

MG: smiles Thanks, UK.

UK-chan:DATTEBAYO!

returns to ship and start to plan...things...yeah...


(some trumpet music plays in the background, then a boat, similar to the one George Washington sailed back in the war between the America and the British, soon came near the Thousand Sunny. Dr.Dude is seen in a George Washington costume in a similar pose.)

Most of the Straw Hats: sweatdrop What the hell?

Luffy and Chopper: eyes sparkling COOL!

Brook: My, my! Very distinguished!

Dr.D:(opens his eyes to see the Thousand Sunny before him) Alright, stop here men! (the boat stops near the Thousand Sunny, then Dr.D starts climbing up the ship. Then he hops onto the deck as the crew sees him) Hello again Strawhats! Here, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that I have questions for you all! The bad news is that my pirate crew is taking a vacation in the bahamas, so sorry if you wanted to meet the rest of them.

MG, Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper: depressed AW!

Dr.D: Well anyway, question time!

MG: Are you crazy man?! (starts shaking MG like a British Nanny) Don't cancel the story man! The fans love it! Take a look at the huge amount of reviews and ratings this story has! You can't give up on it now!

MG:S-STOP SH-SHAKING MEEE! once he stops, he shakes his head Brbrbrbr! Uh, you're a little late to tell me that. Thanks for the concern, though.

Dr.D:Luffy: 1. So Luffy, what would happen if you fought a dark version of yourself?

Luffy: I'd kick his ass. grins

MG:(sigh) Wish my life was as simple as Luffy's.

Dr.D: 2. Would you, as a pirate, consider drifters of the desert or wasteland to be Pirates of the Land?

Luffy: ? tilts head What's a drifter?

MG: Um... I guess they're what Dr.D said: Pirates of the Land.

Dr.D:3. If so, here are some drifters I know. (gets out a wanted poster of the four) One of them is sort've like you.

Straw Hats and MG look at the poster.

Dr.D: 4. (points to the girl in the picture holding two revolvers) That's Virginia Maxwell. She wanted to be a drifter like her father when she was a child. So now she is. A drifter looking for her long-lost father. She's good with those two guns.

5. (whispers to MG) If you played Wild Arms 3, you would know what I'm talking about.

MG:...Well...I can look it up on Wikipedia, right?

Dr.D:Zoro: 1. So Zoro, since you've heard of Ichigo, have you met any of the other Soul Reapers?

Zoro: Yes.

MG: He met all the Soul Reapers that participated in the Jump Super Stars and Ultimate Stars tourneys.

Dr.D: 2. If so, what did you think of each of them in general?

Zoro: In general? Well, I thought some made good warriors, but others... Well, I wondered why those others were fighting.

Dr.D:Nami: 1. I know someone who's even greedier than you!

Nami: That so? Who're they?

Dr.D:2. (gets out a picture of Wario) Meet Wario! The greediest guy on the face of the universe!

Nami: grimacesEw!

MG:Geh! sarcastically Hey, handsome! seriously One word of advice for him: HYGIENE.

Dr.D:3. Wario is a treasure hunter who travels the world, hunting for treasure.

4. Wario can even suck up money with his mouth!

Nami: ...For some weird reason, I envy him.

Dr.D:Usopp: 1. Have you ever played Super Smash Bros Brawl?

Usopp:No, but I've read that Smash Adventure fanfiction. Not everything in that story's accurate, but most of it is.

Dr.D: 2. If so, what do you think of each of the characters in general?

Usopp: Cool, or scary! Of course, none of them are a match for me!

Dr.D:Sanji: 1. So Sanji, if you were able to do ANYTHING you wanted, what would it be?

Sanji: blushes A-Anything?

Dr.D:2. NOT including Nami or Robin or any other girl in the world.

Sanji: blush disappears Oh... Well, get to All Blue faster, I guess. Have all the best cooking tools at my disposal. smiles, deep in thought

Dr.D: 3. I personally think that you would be a good chef or a kickboxing teacher.

Sanji: snaps out of thoughts No, not kickboxing. You need your feet AND hands for that, and you know I don't like using my hands in combat.

Dr.D: 4. Remember the Ice Hunter Arc where you and Usopp were up against Sarco and Arubelle?

Sanji: Yes...?

Dr.D: 5. I find their ice skating act VERY stupid and annoying.

Sanji: sighI know. What did Arubelle see in that mascara'd monkey?

Dr.D: Chopper: 1. Ever heard of Sweeney Todd?

Chopper: Uh, no.

Dr.D: 2. Well he's said to be called the demon barber of Fleet Street.

Chopper: D-Demon barber?

Dr.D: 3. If you want a shave from him, better think twice, for if you go there... (makes a gesture as if I'm slitting my throat)

Chopper: (Gulp!) trembles

Dr.D: Robin: 1. So if you've read the stories of Alice in Wonderland, did you know that there was a third story?

Robin: Is there?

Dr.D:2. I suggest you don't read it to children, because it's sort've a macabre version of the story.

Robin: ...Tell me.

Dr.D:3. The story has Alice in an asylum, becoming catonic after a tragic fire killed her family. She's then transported back into Wonderland, also changed because of the tragedy. Here, Alice has to go through Wonderland and destroy the evil Red Queen in order to gain her sanity back.

All the Straw Hats and MG look on in stunned silence.

Dr.D:4. And trust me, that sounds worse than the fanart on Deviantart I found that has you and Lucc--

MG: quickly covers Dr.D's mouth STOP! Don't tell THEM about it! It'll burn their mind's eyes...! whispers Personally, I think the picture's worse...

Dr.D: Franky: Have you tried wearing a spandex suit? It might show off more of your manliness!

Franky: smirks Now THAT sounds like an idea!

MG: ...Franky, please, I beg you, DON'T!

Franky:All right! Fine! Sheesh...

Dr.D: Brook: 1. Did you know that there's someone on Deviantart who's OC loves you?

Brook:Wha--!? R-Really!?

Dr.D:2. And yes, she'll let you see her panties.

Brook: ...Oh, my... If I still had flesh, I'd be blushing! starts dancing and playing his fiddle YOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO! I'll express my joy instead!

MG chuckles

Dr.D: Well guys, that's it for me! See you later! (sails away on the boat I came to the ship on)


Note from SM:Ok, first off, I agree with Dr.Dude 100 percent. But if you really feel like ending this, at least give it a few more chapters. ON WITH THE SHOW!

A low, moaning noise comes from above. Then, a gigantic alien mothership, and I mean HUGE, hovers over the TS.

Straw Hats and MG: WHOA!

The bottom opens, and a small elevator-thing with SM and the gang standing on it lowers down to the ship. Once there, the gang steps off

SM: (waving to aliens) Thanks for the lift, guys!

Aliens:GGK-NORUI-VJII. (Translation: Your welcome.)

Aliens fly off, leaving the Straw Hats and MG staring into the sky where they disappeared.

MG:...Oh, Dib would've LOVED that!

Author's note: Dib belongs to Jhonen Vasquez.

SM:(To Strawhats, as if nothing happened) Hi guys!

Ryu: (To Hana) See? I told you we would come back.

Hana:(As usual, she runs over and hugs Chopper) Yay! I get to see Chopper more! C'mon, lets play!

Chopper and Hana run off, laughing. MG and Robin look on, smiling warmly.

MG:Y'know, Robin, Hana's really brought out the best in Chopper. I've never seen him so happy.

Robin simply nods in agreement.

SM:Zoro: Here' a name you should know very well: Himura Kenshin, formerly known as Hitokiri Battosai. He is an extremly awesome swordsman. If you ever meet him, you should fight. Oh, and here's something interesting about him also: He uses a Sakbato, a sword witch has its blade upside-down. Its very interesting.

Zoro: Oh, I heard his name before. I MET him during the Jump tournaments. smirks He proved his strength was real. Glad to have faced him.

SM:Nami: (wits until Ryu isnt looking) (whispers) Have some gold. (hands her a billion wads of cash)

Nami: eyes silently turn to beri signs; whispering Ah! Thanks! takes the money

Ryu: OI, I SAW THAT, YOU STUPID HEDGEHOG!

SM: EEK! (runs for his life)

TL:(sweatdrop) I cant believe we're related. (To Ussop) So, why wouldn't you admit the Going Merry was doomed? Was it because of your love for Kaya?(smiles like a smartass)

Usopp: blushShuddup! calms down I wouldn't admit that because I BELIEVED in it. It was a strong little ship, what can I say?

(Ryu is still chasing SM)

TL:(To MG) My bro gets chased around by Ryu almost every day.

MG: arches eyebrow Really?

TL: Yesterday it was because he was trying to teach sex-ed to Hana.

(RANDOM FAMILY GUY-LIKE FLASHBACK)

(SM and Hana are in the living room. SM is on the couch with some books, while Hana is on the floor in front of him)

SM:...and so, Hana, when a man and woman love each other very much... THIS HAPPENS!! (Shows her a very graphic page from a hentai magazine)

Hana:(anime freak out) AGH!

(Ryu walks in, looking enraged)

Ryu:YOU (BLEEP)ING (BLEP)! I'LL (BLEEP)(BLEEP) (BLEP)! (Takes sword out and charges. Sm screams like a little girl and runs away)

(END FLASHBACK)

TL:(sigh) I think I'll move to Alabasta when I grow up.

MG: ...Dammit, SM, you did the wrong thing.

Sanji: starts chasing SM as well HEY! HOW COULD YOU SHOW SUCH A DISGUSTING IMAGE TO A LITTLE GIRL, YOU SHITTY HEDGEHOG!?

(later, Ryu has stopped chasing SM, who has a bump on his head)

SM:So, Luffy, Nami. How would you feel if this really happend? (shows them Ulrilra's fanfic 'An Uneventful Dinner')

The two read the story. Luffy doesn't seem to get it, while Nami seems embarrassed and pissed.

Luffy: I don't really know.

Nami: blushing, angryI know one thing, I'm gonna kick this Ulrilra's ass!

MG: pats Nami's shoulder Calm down, Nami. Breathe.

SM: (looks at watch) Well, we'd better get going.

Hana:(dissapointed) Aw...

Ryu: (Smiles) how about we stop for ice cream on the way back?

Hana:(brightens up a bit) Ok! (Turns to Chopper) Well... bye. (Hugs him, and runs back to the boat with Ryu)

Chopper: smiles Bye! waves to her as she leaves

SM: Huh, for some reason I feel like listening to the Beatles. (Puts on a wig, takes out a guitar, and starts singing) Hey Jude...

TL:(chuckles) Well, see you guys later! (gets into boat. It speeds off, and Hana can be seen on Ryu's shoulders waving)

Luffy: with Chopper on his shoulders; both waving BYE!


(A black haired girl jump to the deck. She's 16 years old and wearing a pink t-shirt, black knee-length baggy pants and pink sport shoes)

uRufu:Hello everyone!! I'm uRufu! Nice to meet you guys!

Luffy, Usopp, MG, Nami, Franky: Yo!

Sanji: elegant twirl, bow Good evening, miss.

Chopper shyly stays quiet.

Robin: smiles Hello.

Brook: Good evening!

Zoro: Zzz...

Sanji: kicks Zoro Hey! Wake up, Marimo!

uRufu: Uh? I don't remember where i came from.. (rub the back of her neck).

Most of Straw Hats and MG: sweatdrop Just like Luffy!

uRufu: Nee... (comes closer to the straw hats) Do you guys miss Vivi?

Luffy, Nami, Usopp, Sanji, and Chopper: looking depressed Yes...

Zoro just rolls his eyes. MG looks at the depressed Straw Hats sympathetically.

uRufu: (smile sweetly) Really? Ne...

Luffy

1. (smile sweetly) You guys are awesome! Can i join your crew?

Luffy: Sure!

Most of the other Straw Hats: punch or kick his headLUFFY!

uRufu: 2. Well, i can't fight, but i can sing well! (start singing Luffy's song, Holy Holiday)

Luffy: after listening to the song Whoa! That was good!

Sanji: hearts in eyes THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL!

MG: Hey! That wasn't bad at all!

uRufu: 3. (suddenly hug Luffy)

Luffy: a bit startled Hm?

uRufu: 4. Mmh.. Can i kiss you?You're so cute, Luffy-san (kiss Luffy softly)

Luffy: ! blushes a little

MG snickers, then bursts out laughing and rolling on the floor.

uRufu: 5. (hold her cheek) Kyaa...!! I did it! I kissed him! (love marks everywhere)

Usopp: sweatdrop Hoo boy, UK's not gonna be happy about that...

uRufu: 6. This is for you, cutie (gives Luffy a big chunk of lamb meat)

Luffy: MEAT!! Thanks! starts wolfing down the meat

uRufu: Zoro

1. I think you're hot.

Zoro: I don't care.

uRufu: 2. Zoro, what will you do if Nami kiss you?

Zoro: jumps a little ...I'd likely be surprised. Or pissed. Depends on what else was happening.

uRufu: 3. What will you do if you've defeated Mihawk?

Zoro: Hmm... I guess I'll just do what I usually do.

MG: Gonna be kinda lonely at the top, isn't it?

Zoro: Shut up.

uRufu: Nami

1. What will you do if i cut off all of your mikan trees?

Nami: I'll kill you.

MG: chuckles That sounded like Achmed. You know, "Silence! I kill you!"

uRufu: 2. Just kidding. Geez. Sorry (give her 100 thousand beli)

Nami: beri signs in eyes I forgive you! takes money

MG just slaps his forehead.

uRufu: Usopp

1. When you lied, why didnt your nose become longer?

Usopp: ?? What!?

MG: Pinocchio joke.

Usopp: Uh- hey!

uRufu: 2. Would you make a weapon for me like you did with Nami?

Usopp: Uh, sorry, uRufu. I only make weapons for my nakama, and I don't really know you well enough.

uRufu: 3. I'll give you this (give him a small sack of pink powder)

Usopp: Huh? takes sack What is it?

uRufu: 4. This is the powder that i made. If you use this to your enemies, they will start singing and forget about you.

Usopp: interested Oh... Kinda like what Brook can do, only the enemies are making the music, and nobody falls asleep. Clever!

uRufu: Sanji

1. Sanji-san, you're a kind person, you know.

Sanji: bows Thank you kindly.

uRufu: 2. I've made a chocolate cake. (give the cake to Sanji) Would you want to try it?

Sanji: Oh, sure! bites into it

uRufu: 3. Is it delicious?

Sanji: swallows Oh, yeah!

uRufu: 4. (smile sweetly) Thanks Sanji-san (kiss his cheek)

Sanji: hearts in eyes WOO-HOO! Thank YOU, Rufu-chan! Mellorine! Mellorine!

uRufu: 5. Can i get your recipes? Or can you teach me more about cooking? Pleease? (puppy eyes)

Sanji: Of course, my dear! runs into the kitchen to get some copies of the recipes

uRufu: Chopper

1. (stare at Chopper)

Chopper: ... gets nervous Wh-What?

uRufu: 2. Aww.. (hug Chopper) Cute!

Chopper: GAH! NOT AGAIN!

uRufu: 3. (still hugging Chopper) You're amazing! Choppa SUGOOI!! I love you..!!

Chopper: finally manages to escape her grasp; starts dancing Baka! Even if you say that, it won't make me happy! Kunura! Kunura! Kunura!

uRufu: 4. I think 50 beli is too small for you, Choppa. You're stronger than your look.

Chopper: continues to dance Stop flattering me! I'm not happy! stops dancing ...You're right, though. seems depressed 50...!?

uRufu: Robin

1. Nee-san.. (hug her)

Robin chuckles and pats her back.

uRufu: 2. I got something for you (give her 7 series of Harry Potter). You should read them, nee-san. They are interesting.

Robin: Oh, thank you. to MG There are many kind people on , aren't there?

MG: Yeah, there are. looks depressed Unlike on DeviantART...

uRufu: Franky

1. Suppa! (poses)

Franky: YES! poses as well

uRufu: 2. Try these! (give him 7 barrels of pink cola)

Franky: Uh-oh. This had better be regular cola.

uRufu: Brook

1. Can you play "Somewhere over the rainbow"?

Brook: Well, I can try. pulls out his fiddle Do you have a booklet for the song?

uRufu: 2. Would you want me to find a female living skeleton for you?

Brook: Oh, yes, thank you!

uRufu: Ace

MG: Ace? Hm, let's see what I can do...

Moments later, we find MG (none of the Straw Hat Pirates) at Impel Down.

MG: peeks into Ace's cellar Ace? You there?

Ace: Oh! Hey, MG! Think you could get me outta here?

MG: Uh, sorry man. I've tried.

Ace: sigh Oh, well.

uRufu: 1. Hi Ace!

Ace: Huh? Oh, hello. Who're you?

MG: Her name is uRufu.

Ace: Oh, this is for that fanfiction thing, huh? I can kill some time.

uRufu: 2. You and your little brother are cute!

Ace: chuckles Thanks.

uRufu: 3. Why is your family name 'Portgas'? You're Luffy's real brother, aren't you? Why isn't your name 'Monkey D Ace'?

Ace: Oh, Whitebeard wanted me to make a...pseudonym...in case something happens.

MG: sigh I REALLY don't wanna leave here.

Marine guards: from down the hall Hey, who goes there!?

Ace: !! whispers Get outta here, quick!

MG hesitates, then runs for it.

Later, on the Thousand Sunny...

uRufu: MG

1. When did you join this crew?

MG: Oh, I didn't, really. I just drop by every so often so the crew can answer these questions.

uRufu: 2. What is (or are) your ability(ies)?

MG: Abilities? Well... I'm not sure I HAVE any abilities.

uRufu: 3. How did you handle the stupidity of this crew?

(The Straw Hat except Robin: (back hand snapping) Oi oi oi!)

MG: chuckles Well, I can relate to them, that's how.

uRufu: Thanks everyone! You guys rock!!

Everyone: Sayonara!

MG finds a note on the ground.

Note: Fiuh.. Sorry for the grammars. You can fix that if you want to. Hhe.. ;-D Thanks!!

MG: smiles, rolls eyes Well, Luffy, you lucky dog, you hit the jackpot in my opinion!

Luffy: Huh?

MG: Well... blush I kinda want a girl like that...

Usopp: ... laughs And people teased ME about that kind of thing!

END