Teller wasn't the only person on Danielle's mind these days. For the rest of the week, although allowed some time at the bar with each other, she could not figure out what to do with Logan. After saying that he loved her some time ago, there had been more hints that he wanted to stay with her, although he was keeping his distance and seeing that she was not ready, even if he was. A touch of her hand by chance in the kitchen, waking up with the kids and telling her to go back to bed (which even amazed the boys), a random dinner even hunted down in the back property, stripped and cooked…little things were noticed, like an effort to show more than love. It might be commitment, but Danielle could not be sure with Logan. She and her children (well, Michael, she knew) figured he would be leaving after the mission, but it was a long shot now he was doing things around the house.
Mae had taking the children that week too, taking on more of the lessons they had missed for school, to give her more of something to do than anything else…and to prepare them for the worst. Although greatly appreciated, it was something that Danielle did not expect, with all that tension between her and Logan and the upcoming mission. She greatly missed her children, but the ease into which Mae took them was heart wrenching to her. It was a transition they had to make, a sacrifice on her part, to ensure that she did not become to overly attached to them when she left them for Kansas. If the case stood that she did not come back or they went missing, she had to harden herself…and so did they.
This too gave her time to focus on Logan, who sparked imagination with each new day, each new surprise. While her mind worked around her life without Michael and Riley for hours at a time, she gave way to thoughts of him constantly, even when they were holding each other, day and night. She felt closer to him than ever before. But why couldn't she take the plunge? Why couldn't she decide to be his mate, to demand that he say something and stay? And why could she not decide to stay her age forever and to be practically immortal, just as he was too?
Because she couldn't decide anything or take power over anyone. Danielle had no more control over Logan than the Professor did. However, with one so lost since his arrival at the mansion year before, she did not seem surprised by the mission and how it was eating Logan, more so now than at the beginning, when he could not decide anything either. She too it a step at a time, willing herself to believe that there was hope…because there usually was.
Towards the end of the week, when she knew that Michael and Riley were coming home for a few days with her, she decided that it was time. Danielle had to say something to them, to explain what was happening, or leave them in the dark and be apart from them forever without being the proper mother she was supposed to be. There had been too many clues for them to follow and not enough truth from the person who mattered to them the most.
After a joyous reunion later that day, just as dinnertime approached and she was thinking of skipping on the cooking that night, Danielle set them to their chores upstairs, mainly asking that they clean their room. When Logan went to the garage to work on the convertible (and smoke, Danielle suspected), she followed her children upstairs. Reaching their room, she heard them groan, but she quickly reassured them that it was not to yell at them about their habits. Their room was a mess too.
"We need to talk," Danielle admitted, taking a chair in the room as the two boys stood, tranquil as deer in the headlights, all before the slaughter.
Michael and Riley exchanged glances. They did not expect their mother to be so forthwith about something. The tone of her voice was gentle, but there had been undertones of fear in there too. Both of them had not seen her totally afraid of something before, even of their father or the situations they've been through. She had been strong for them, tearful sometimes when there was no hope, but there was something different in Danielle's hazel eyes.
"What is it, Momma?" Michael asked first, sitting on the floor and motioning that Riley do the same. When he did, Michael motioned that Danielle speak.
"There are many things I want to say, but not enough words to express them." Danielle was quiet for a moment. "I want to say how sorry I've been to you. There have been many things I've wanted to protect you from, but now isn't the time to hide behind a shadow. Now, you both know what it has been like for many of us growing up. We've been worse sometimes, lost and curious as you are as to why we're all different…spit upon…ridiculed. We have to take a stand now, more so than ever before.
"I've always fought with your father, even before we married, and it destroyed me to marry him when I was eighteen. I had no choice to marry him, even when I was young, so sure of myself and an assassin that nobody wanted to mess with…a black widow. I had to save those I loved and it cost me a lot of things with your father, but I will never regret you both. You both have been the joy in my life, the light in my darkness, and without you, I wouldn't know what my life would be like. This is why I know that I have to prepare myself, just as you do, for the coming events.
"Things have been progressing to where things would be deadly for us if we're not careful. There are places in which they want to send us, camps in which they would slowly kill us. They would separate us and classify us, to keep humanity from seeing us as the same. We may be different, humans and mutants, but we are made of the same stuff. Nothing can change that except for hatred and extremism, which are feelings. We are seeing that nowadays. But we have many choices…and I think I've made mine."
Michael and Riley sat there, transfixed upon Danielle's words. They could not think of why she would be telling them this, but Michael was slowing forming an idea.
In case Momma does not come back, wherever she's going…she wants us to continue. She wants us to fight too.
"I've lost myself many times before and have wanted to die," Danielle continued. "But I found out that, even after all these years, I am still the mean, caring and even cocky person I used to be. I had not changed, but the many circumstances of my life had. And I decided that I needed to continue that fight…and I want you both to do the same, if you can. I love you both and would never trade you for the world and would make sure that you're content and alive, even if it means my death. But there was a crossroad I did not see, did not even realize was there…and I am taking it."
"What about Logan?" Riley asked, still unsure of what to make of the conversation.
"Logan goes where he needs to," Danielle explained. "But he's coming with me for now, as far as I know. We, along with our Uncle Roger, will be going to Kansas. You probably heard already that mutants are being held there, against their will, and are dying in waves because they deemed them prisoners on death row. We need to save them…and bring us all together. We are the X-Men. There's nothing that can change that."
"And us?" Michael was silent, but could not keep his tightly wound emotions from spilling out. "What will it mean for us?"
"Many things," Danielle confirmed. "You've been with your aunt for a long time, on and off. You're safe with her and her husband and have ways to run if you need to. And that's where I need you to be until I return. Wait for me and never leave until you get word that we're coming back for you. I promise you nothing, but I always will do the best I can to come home from this trip. Just like you, I can live and die and make it my will. I can live forever at one age if I wanted to, just like you both. But in war, there are no happy endings, never any victories or glorious battles. There are no twists and turns that make it perfect. Nobody can be spared and it's possible that anyone can die, even me if I chose to."
"Even us?" Riley asked, finally understanding what was going on.
"Children are never spared sometimes in war, my darling," Danielle said, allowing a rare tear to run down her face as she opened her arms for her sons. When they got up and embraced her, safe in her arms, she added, "I promise you this though. I will protect you for as long as I draw breath. You will not have to fear anymore when I can here. We will all teach you what you need to know to survive, even without me."
Danielle held her children for a long time. When the sun had set and darkness settled into the house, they let go of her. Michael was still awake, but Riley had fallen asleep. Slowly and carefully, Danielle put him to bed, Michael watching her keenly from behind. When Danielle turned to face him, he kept his emotions in check, being brave for his mother's sake. He did know want his mother to know his feelings, unaware that she had a connection to him from birth that rendered almost all secrets practically null…if she wanted to even bother reading his mind.
"I love you, Momma," Michael said after a lengthy silence. "Don't go. Don't die."
Danielle kneeled in front of Michael, her eldest and the wisest. She said nothing for a minute, but ruffled his strawberry-blonde hair and smiled.
"You know I love you too, Michael," she finally said. "You know I have to go. One day, you will understand…and you will so the same as I did too."
Getting up, Danielle left the room. She heard the sucked-in sob from behind her, but said nothing to Michael. She braved herself, sighing before going downstairs. She had to allow her children more room. She had protected them long enough, been there too long to heal them from the hurts of the world. Today, she had to allow them to see the world for what it was and allow them to digest her departure. She thought it was a mistake when Michael was younger and protected him fiercely when they were at the mansion, doing the same for Riley, who had nearly died before he was born. Seeing the way things are, it was a mistake to even bother shielding them. It was worse to see the pain her husband had inflicted time and again, a whip they would never be free of, even when he's been dead for almost a year.
At the bottom of the stairs, Danielle stopped. And all we have to do is fight back too. There can be no turning back.
~00~
Xavier and Magneto had been waiting for hours for Mystique, sitting well into the night to make sure she was safe. Promising, as she transformed into her usual disguise earlier that day, that she would be back in time for dinner, she went out, intent on surveying the people. New laws had been pushed upon the Russian Federation from other European countries, but they were an entity of its own…and a dangerous one, at that, and one none liked. Both of the older men were not keen on allowing the mutant on her own because of the new dangers, but tonight was very different. The air had been rife with hatred, Xavier felt, more so than ever before. It wasn't just for mutants…it was because of the changes.
Hiding behind the thick curtains and staying away from the windows, the two men stared at each other for hours, silent and worried. They communicated in little ways, gesturing for food and maybe to answer the door for another mutant who lived with them. None who came in and out had seen Mystique yet, but they had hope that she'd return soon. She always did, the two men were reassured and what they told each other. She had no reason to run away…or be killed.
After midnight though, Magneto had enough of the waiting game. "We need to go after her," he declared in a belligerent tone, his defenses up. "We cannot leave her to the wolves, Charles!"
"We shall not," Xavier agreed as he voiced his concerns too. "However, I am sure that –"
"I'm leaving for America soon." The two men turned around, seeing Mystique turning into her blue form, the door opened behind her. "It's been hell out there. It's worse and it's coming faster than I expected. And if we can't turn one country's head around and stop its source, what else can we do? We cannot be safe."
Xavier smiled. Magneto, on the other hand, was outraged, surprised by this sudden change of events.
"And who is heading your trip?" he asked her unkindly, crossing his arms.
"I am going alone," Mystique announced, almost in a sarcastic manner. "I was going to ask if you two would mind the fort, but that would be asking for too much…wouldn't it?"
"Not at all," Xavier reassured her, before Magneto could say another word (and wishing he would remain silent). "I am sure that Erik and I would be delighted to ensure the safety of everyone here and move them to the next safe house. Do you, by chance, have a plan, in case we need to move?"
"I will reveal that before I go, little by little," Mystique replied slowly, seeing Magneto give Xavier a nasty, albeit annoyed, glance. "Right now, I think a little more of that hope is needed elsewhere."
"And you think America would give you a warm welcome?" Magneto asked Mystique, his arms still crossed stubbornly. "They denied your existence and tried to kill you many times."
"No, but if we are to come together as a team against a common enemy, I guess I would have to." Mystique suddenly transformed into her elderly, although beautiful, blonde woman, a favorite from long ago. "I have my flight ready and my passport already checks out with the American government. I'll be safe for the time being."
"Anything else you would need us to do?" Xavier asked her gently, wishing for some moment in which he could wish her luck.
"Just be yourself, Charles," Mystique only said, heading for the door again as she turned to leave, not telling them her mission yet. "Just trust we'll get though this alive."
