Hey guys!
Chapter 56 is here. At last. *falls over* I'm so glad I was able to get this out before the start of summer classes. I'm only taking two but my fellow college goes know history courses pack a punch.
Congrats to the people who won the mini contest. It was difficult to give the preview to just the winners but they earned it, and hey the big cheese is here now so yay :) I sincerely hope you guys enjoy this chapter. It was perhaps by far both the easiest and hardest chapter to write. Mostly because it can be difficult to put an image in your head to words but I guess that's the fun of writing isn't it? The challenge of elaborating on a feeling or a thought and giving it literary sentience.
Anyways, before I get carried away here is chapter 56. Hope you guys like reading it as much as I did writing it.
P.s. I will totally admit to having written this while listening to "My December" by both Josh Groban and Linkin Park. I know it's WAY out of season considering summer just started for some of us but it gets a teeny weeny difficult to write about the cold when its blistering hot outside. When editing this I listened to that song so if you're into having musical accompaniment I suggest that one. Then again no passage is truly ever read the same way so have at it any way you want. It was just a suggestion since I love listening to music while reading. Anyways~
Enjoy!
Eddy gave an involuntary yawn, lifting his hand to his mouth but immediately regretting his choice when the smell of his breath filled his nostrils. Fast-food and energy drinks were the meal of champions but the bane of existence to all dentists. Oh well. If he was so inclined he could always slip into a bathroom and give his mouth a good scrubbing, though the thought of brushing his teeth in a men's public restroom did not appeal to him in the slightest.
Whereas the outside had transformed into a cold snowy wasteland the inside of the metro station was thankfully not. With a great number of mobile bodies warm air was pumped into nearly every nook and cranny, the hum of the centralized heater thrumming blissfully overhead like a swarm of singing bees. From where he sat there was a vent that was situated directly on top of him, sporadically pumping bursts of hot air down the back column of his neck. He had shed his winter coat hours ago and was now sitting comfortably, or at least as comfortably as one could, on just one of the many wooden benches provided by the station personnel.
In cases of overcrowding it was a general rule of thumb to share as much space as possible with the other passengers; however Ed's natural stench, as musk would be putting it lightly, kept pretty much everyone and everything within a four foot radius at bay. Eddy had tried to be nice and offered a seat so some woman who had just turned out to be a bitch and stuck her nose up at him. Whatever. The snob could stand for all he cared. He was used to Ed's smell. The guy just couldn't help it. Besides, without his regular jacket he had to grab something else from the dark beyond that was his closet so the smell really wasn't all that bad. In the end it was of no consequence to him when he and his buddy earned a few nasty looks their way. Hey, he tried to be nice. Not his fault everyone here is a stuck up twat.
Sliding back in his seat Eddy took to staring up at the vent for what felt like the millionth time that evening. The snow storm hadn't yet hit but all departures had been delayed in preparation for it. In no time at all the place became packed with passengers both tired from waiting and hungry for something other than the junk that came from the over price vending machines. For the entire four hours he'd been waiting there to catch his ride back to trade school only two trains had even bothered to arrive. Neither of them had taken any passengers, causing enough of a stir among the unhappy customers to force the station personnel to try and speed things up. It was futile seeing as it wasn't the poor ticket girl's fault the weather was bad but nobody seemed to care. The poor thing probably only makes minimum wage as it is. At least she didn't shut the window in their faces. Now that could have caused an all-out riot.
At the moment the two trains were sitting idly by while everyone waited around the platforms. One of the trains was being prepped for embarkation but it wasn't heading Eddy's way. That train wouldn't take off for a good forty five minutes and there was not telling when the other one would be ready so he settled himself down for the long haul. In the meantime he and Ed kept themselves busy playing card games and counting the glass panels in the vaulted ceiling. He was thankful Ed decided to stick around after dropping him off at the terminal. Now that Double D was gone he understood Ed's reluctance to head back home and frankly he appreciated the company.
Between them they shared a bag of cookies and somehow stumbled onto the topic of cats versus dogs. Ed was trying to convince him how loveable a dog could be but Eddy argued he'd never give his tabby up for some mangy mutt.
"But Eddy-"
"No way no how." Eddy said, slapping his ace on top of their growing card pile. "My cat ain't going nowhere."
Ed stuck his bottom lip out as he pouted, digging into the bag of cookies and stuffing them into his face as he spoke.
"Buh Ebby. It nah faeh." Ed swallowed the mound in his mouth and licked the crumbs from his lips. "Your cat is mean."
"Uncle Pennybags? Nah." Eddy waved his hand. "He's just… particular."
"He bit me!" Ed retorted, setting down a card of his own.
Eddy shrugged. "He's picky about the company he keeps."
"But-"
Before Ed could finish his thought an air horn suddenly sounded from behind. Eddy jumped rather suddenly, dropping the cards in his hand as others around him suddenly turned his way to see what the commotion was about. Realizing fast that the air horn had come from his back pocket Eddy took to glaring at the sheepish grin Ed had on his face.
"Ok that is the last time I let you play with my phone."
Quickly reaching into his back pocket Eddy fished out his phone and quickly swiped his finger across the lock screen. Ed had set his ring tone to an air horn and the damn thing nearly caused him to jump out of his skin. The people that were staring at him thankfully turned their attention away as he answered the call, shoving his hand directly into Ed's giggling face. He didn't recognize the caller ID nor the area code it seemed to be hailing from so he turned slightly from Ed, in case the call came from somewhere important. Hopefully it wasn't his phone company.
"Hello, Eddy speaking." He said, swatting Ed's hand away when he offered the scammer the bag of cookies.
For a second he didn't hear anything on the other end, his brows drawing together in irritation. If this was another crank call from his roomies-
"Hello? Eddy? Is this Eddy Hawthworts?"
The scammer's thumb paused just over the end call button and instead switched over to speaker. Ed cocked a brow but Eddy merely shrugged. The caller sounded too informal for it to be something important so he didn't care if Ed listened in or not.
"This is him." Eddy said. "Who's wants to know?"
A bit of static came through before a voice cut through, causing something inside Eddy to stir.
"Hey um my name is Kevin. You don't know me but you do know Eddward. You know him as… ah shit… I forgot the nickname. You know, Edd. With two d's?"
Both and Eddy exchanged a plethora of looks. There was only one person in the world with a name like that.
"Ok how do you know Double D and how in the hell did you get my number?"
Eddy didn't like that some weirdo he didn't know could reach him on his private line. Surely Double D would have given him some warning if he was going to give someone his phone number, not that he ever would without Eddy's permission in the first place. He was just that kind of guy. This would have been extremely out of character so this couldn't bode well at all. The caller, Kevin, sighed into the phone. He sounded frustrated if not a little out of breath causing Eddy's suspicions to rise as he spoke.
"I'm his best buddy and I sure as hell don't know no Kevin. Do you Ed?"
The big lug next him shook his head, frowning. "Nope."
"Yeah, I thought so." Eddy said. "So I'ma give you thirty seconds to plead your case before I tell you to lose this number and hang up on you."
Kevin scoffed directly into the receiver. "Look I don't have the luxury of time to dick around. I need your help."
"Oh is that so?" Eddy said cockily. "And why should I help you?"
"Because Edd is out on the streets and no one knows where he is!"
Eddy's inside immediately froze.
"I stopped by his house and the woman and the guy that were living there couldn't tell me where he is."
As Kevin spoke his voice deepened with urgency but he was able to keep his cool, leveling his tone as not to further upset Eddy.
"I've been asking all around town and no one has seen him. If you know where he is you gotta tell me right now."
Eddy's eyes flickered up to Ed who had taken to staring at the phone, his eyes wide with worry.
"Um no. No we don't know where he is. He… he didn't tell us either." Eddy felt his mouth go dry so he licked his lips, switching the speaker function back to a regular call. "Shit are you serious? Is Double D really missing right now?"
"I'd give my left nut right now to tell you he isn't, but that's not the case." Kevin grumped. "Damnit. I was hoping he told you at least."
Eddy swallowed hard and pinched his fingers into the bridge of his nose. Well fuckin' aye. He never thought to ask Edd just where he was going. Wasn't that a part of, like, traveling 101? Tell someone where you're going in case some shit went down? Sighing, Eddy pressed the phone to his ear and spoke a little more quietly, his resonance flat and in control thanks to his months of study in strict business practices.
"Alright. I don't know you but you apparently know our buddy. Tell us how you know him, where you've looked and where you haven't. We know sockhead pretty well so if he's anywhere nearby we might know where he went."
"Oh thank god." Kevin said, heaving a sigh of relief. "He and I… well…"
"Well?" Eddy prodded.
"We were roommates." Kevin finally said, fighting the urge not to blush.
He wasn't entirely sure what would be appropriate to reveal to Edd's friends so he tried to keep any extracurricular activities as far from the conversation as possible.
"He lived with me in New York for a while and then he took off. Back home I guess." Half-truth. "I came down to see him but haven't been able to catch his trail. I've been to the mall, I asked people in grocery parking lots on Third and on Western, I searched around large neighborhoods but I've got zilch going for me right now."
Eddy hummed as he rubbed his temple in contemplation. Just where in the hell could Edd have gone? Shit he didn't know. They hadn't spoken to each other since their meetup at the coffee shop and if he was traveling on foot he could have ended up just about anywhere by now. Rubbing the side of his face Eddy glanced down at his watch and then up at the platform. Screw this.
"Ok look, blockhead and I are heading over to his place."
When Ed's brows rose to the top of his head Eddy merely waved his hand. This was too important to take lightly.
"When we get there I'll send you a text of some places we think he might have gone. For now try going to the library. I know he likes to hang out there when he wants to get away from Edwin for a bit so try there first. Make sure to check every corner. He's a master at hide and seek."
Kevin felt his lips turn upward, hope welling in his chest. "Gotcha."
"Hey wait a minute, how do I know I can trust you?"
Kevin paused. "Excuse me?"
"How do I know he ain't just running from you? You did say he left New York to come home after all."
Kevin growled. "Are you serious? I don't have time for this."
Eddy harrumphed in response. "Answer the question asshole."
Kevin groaned into his hand, wishing he had something to punch. "Edd means the world to me ok? Just… just help me find him. News reports are going around about this stupid storm and I don't know when or how hard it will hit. I just… I just don't want anything to happen to him. If that Edwin jerk let him out there just to get hurt I swear to god-"
"Wait a minute. You know Edwin?"
Kevin scoffed.
"Hardly. You could say we've 'crossed paths'." He said, rubbing his aching jaw.
Eddy's mouth twitched up into a grin and right then his mind was made up. "Alright pal. We're heading out."
Kevin sighed through his nose. "Thank you. Thank you so much."
Eddy wasted no time with pleasantries and simply ended the call. Ed watched him with a worrisome expression, reaching over to grab Eddy's bags as the scammer adjusted the mittens on his hands.
"Alright you big lug. We're heading out."
"To find Double D?" Ed asked, gripping Eddy's suite cases tightly.
Eddy nodded. "To find sockhead and get out of this hell hole. I swear if he got himself into trouble he is going to hear it from us. Right buddy?"
Ed's frown turned right side up in an instant, giving a show of teeth as he hurried after Eddy through the throng of people towards the exit. The temperature had lowered pretty significantly in the last half hour so the scammer hoped that whoever this Kevin guy was, he would be able to find Edd soon.
When Ed asked Eddy why he cared if Kevin knew Edwin, Eddy laughed.
"Hey, any enemy of Edwin's is a friend of mine." He smirked. "Now let's get out of here."
Across town Kevin pocketed his phone and shoved his helmet back on his head. The roar of his motor cut through the silence of the night, the sky having surprisingly opened up to reveal a dazzling starry canvas. The sky was painted in a lovely shade of cobalt but his mind was far too gone for him to even notice or appreciate the beauty of the evening.
Somewhere in this God forsaken town was his dork and Kevin was determined to find him.
He was beyond upset that Edd's mother, who he assumed the woman to be, and Edwin, had just let him go. More so though, he was upset with himself. If he had just been there two hours earlier he wouldn't be out there now. In truth he felt it was just as much his fault as it was theirs. The worst part about this was coming to realize just how disassociated Edd had become to the people who lived here. It was as if he didn't want them to know where he was going. Where and why were important factors for loved ones to know, right? So what in the world could drive him to go so far, so fast, and so recklessly? It was an utter conundrum! Eddward was not a reckless man. It wasn't in his nature so this made absolutely no sense. It only filled him with worry.
People who walked away with purpose but no destination… They never come back. And the idea of losing his Eddward was a great and terrible cognizance he just couldn't bear to live with. If Edd went out there on purpose, to forever vanish from life then Kevin had to do whatever it took to find him before it was too late.
Cruising down the road at speeds even he would have second thoughts about, Kevin felt an urge to turn left at the nearest street. To his frustration all he saw was an empty alley way. A pair of tire tracks had been left in the snow and out of curiosity Kevin's eyes followed them down, leading away from the town's public areas. The next street over was the cul-de-sac and Kevin was tempted to return to Edd's house just to finish what Edwin started. Maybe he would have some answers but just as he maneuvered his bike to turn around he started to notice something peculiar. Beside the tire tracks were foot prints.
Now Kevin was no private eye but this admittedly peeked his curiosity.
It seemed whoever was on foot had hitched a ride as the tracks stopped half way through the alley and turned out on the main road. It was entirely possible it could have been Edd. So far he could find no other tracks other than his bikes, so with a silent prayer he turned the Harley around and followed them. The chance that Edd could have been picked up by a driver was so minuscule it was laughable but with no other leads and a library he had gone to earlier only to find it was closed, he didn't seem to have any other choice. The streets had completely emptied by the time nightfall came and everyone and their grandmother had scattered on home. If this failed at least he could say he tried. Then it was door to door for him.
Breathing heavily into his helmet Kevin steadied himself before taking off, his eyes switching from the tracks in front of him to the road up ahead. He couldn't afford to lose track of what he was doing.
Don't worry Edd I'm coming for ya.
His throat began to burn, acid coating the back of his mouth as his chest began to tighten. It was killing him to think of his precious dork's smile, but he honestly couldn't help it. It was cute the way his tongue would poke out from between the gap in his teeth and the silly way his cheeks rounded before turning red when he became flustered. So sensitive, so caring. He had been a fool to let Edd leave. He didn't even try to fight for him and the knowledge of that alone hung the heavy weight of guilt from his chest to his stomach. If something happened because of his carelessness he would never forgive himself.
I'm so sorry I ever let you go. Please forgive me.
His gloved fingers tightened over the handle bars, his knuckles burning white beneath their leather covering.
I don't know if you still care but I just need you be safe. For God's sake please be safe!
In another part of town, tucked into the center of a child's plastic play tube, Edd began to shake. The open sky that had greeted him just hours ago had hazed over with thick tufts of silver, hiding away the stars that had been watching over him like great empyrean spirits. Snowflakes the size of fingernails drifted down upon the abandoned play area like confetti, their decent slow and steady as they twirled down from the earth's atmosphere to kiss the earth and blanket it in a field of sparkling white.
He had woken several times to his body quivering, his legs and arms tucking even further into him as he tried to keep to warm. His toes were cold, his fingers near frozen but he kept a strong hold on his hope. All he had to do was get through the night and then he would be off.
The chill that encompassed him was making that difficult however. The tube made a great barrier against any stray winds that might have bypassed the brick walls surrounding the play area but made for a poor place of rest and an even crummier bed. His neck and shoulders hurt from laying on his side, the surface of the tube hard though its circular shape did help to keep his head propped. Sleeping in grass was preferable to this however the luxury of the soft green turf wouldn't be around for a few more months. Christmas was just around the corner and soon the New Year would be upon them. Until then spring would have to wait its turn.
Thick black lashes fluttered upwards, unveiling the sea of blue beneath that looked out upon the park with a kind of listlessness a seafarer would upon his ship's horizon. The ground had covered quickly in snow, hiding any evidence that dirt and plants had ever existed. Even the rubber matting had been concealed, mounds of that beautiful powdery whiteness having collected on the seats of swings and on the ledges of the walls. Anywhere it could gather it did and so he watched on in mild interest as the snowflakes fell and the seconds ticked on.
To his chagrin a gust had somehow wound its way towards him, blowing through the tube with surprising force and licking his face. Snowflakes pelted his eyes and nose like a slobbering dog and he quickly rubbed the uninvited substance from his face until the gust finally died away. His body shook harder. At this rate he wouldn't catch a wink's worth of sleep. Not here. Not like this.
A shudder ran through him, forcing out a sob that he had kept locked deep inside.
He was alone now. Companionless, isolated. Hungry.
Utterly alone.
This is my choice, he told himself. I want to be alone. It's ok to be alone.
Edd curled even further into himself, the hem of his hat falling over his eyes. A tear managed to escape unnoticed and fluttered down his cheek, disappearing under his chin. He didn't need a warm bed to know everything would be ok or friends nearby to console his every worry. He can handle those things on his own. He may have to suffer for a little while but this was only temporary. He just needed to be strong. He just needed to buck up and push onward. Just like Kevin would.
"Kevin…" The word slipped irresistibly past his lips, choking the air right out of his lungs.
He just needed to…
Edd swiped his wrist across his face, vigorously scrubbing away his fallen tear.
He can be strong. He can and he would do it for Kevin. Somehow he will find his way back to where he belonged. Even if Kevin wanted nothing to do with him he had to make his way to New York. He knew something now that had entirely changed his life and it was all he could think about. Kevin meant more to him than anything on this earth. He'd give anything to see that man smile. He wanted to better himself so that he was someone Kevin could be proud of, instead of that sniveling homeless kid he happened to find on some random Sunday afternoon. For all that he had done the man deserved that at least. Even if that meant having to build from the ground up then so be it. He might have to face a number of failures to reach success but he wasn't afraid of that. Not anymore.
It was with a heavy heart that Edd decided tonight would be the first of his many failures to come. Sleep would continue to evade him until he got warmer and by the looks of things the weather only promised to grow colder. Reluctantly Edd decided he had enough and climbed out from the tube. His legs had cramped from having been bent for such a long period of time but in mere seconds the blood began to flow through them, making his walk out from the play area a bit more comfortable.
Without moonlight or stars Edd was forced to walk blindly across the field, nearly slipping a time or two before he reached the wall opening and stepped out onto the rest of the park. Barren trees loomed over him like starving demons but instead of fearing the shadows that flickered across their sharpened branched, he acknowledged their beauty. Some of the branches twinkled like diamonds, as though having been coated in a fine spray that sparkled and dazzled in the light of the lamp posts. He made sure to stick close to lamp posts that were lit, pale light spilling over the ground and marking the path for him to follow.
He walked through the park for about a mile or so. Every few posts he spotted a pair of benches and covered receptacle bins, each coated in their own layer of snow. Walking kept his blood flowing and his body warm but he also couldn't resist the urge to sit and rest his feet. It would make him cold again but he supposed it couldn't hurt to sit for just a few short minutes. He'd have to start walking again to stay warm but at least he would be able give his feet a well-deserved break.
Brushing away the snow from the seat Edd plopped himself down on the wooden bench and sighed. Already he could feel the pressure releasing as he stretched out his legs to rest each on his heels. His stomach churned from being empty but he ignored it, bending his head from side to side in hopes of easing out the knot that had formed from having tried to sleep in that blasted children's tube. It helped some but not very much. Oh well. It was hardly a pain to be concerned about. He could live with it.
Quietly he watched as snow continued to rain down from the sky like New Year's confetti. His jaw stretched wide open as he yawned, the fatigue from his day's tremulous escapades having now caught up with him. He was so tired he almost felt willing to fall asleep where he was now. Of course he couldn't do that but that didn't stop his body from wanting to sink into the bench and lull him back towards slumber.
I suppose I could close my eyes. Just for a couple of minutes.
In no time at all the sockhead had fallen asleep, his hands tucked safely into his pockets and his chin resting atop his chest. Though he continued to shake it was nowhere near as intense as it had been at the play area. Here the sky was still opened up and the wind had inexplicably died down. Perhaps the weather had decided to take pity upon him or perhaps it was just a bit of good luck shinning down on him. Whatever the case was, it was enough to get the sockhead to finally succumb and rest his weary head. Even if it wasn't to last for very long.
Kevin screamed.
"GODDAMNIT!"
And he punched the ground.
His fist landed with a sickening thud among the roots of a tree, sinking straight through the snow to land upon frozen dirt. His teeth ground so hard in his mouth the ache in his jaw grew three fold as another frustrated scream leapt from his mouth.
He had followed the tracks to Clancy but it seemed as though the truck had pulled aside to let whoever it carried out before taking off. Kevin had searched the ground like a blood hound looking for footprints for what seemed like ages. The start of the evening's snowfall had begun to fill each impression, hiding away what little Kevin had to go on. As wild a goose chase as it had become he simply could not let this go.
He searched for what felt like a century, grinding his father's poor bike against the asphalt as he followed the disappearing foot tracks. Every step had begun to fade and Kevin's heart was about ready to burst. If he lost his lead he would be forced to go back. Eddy had called him some minutes ago, suggesting he return to the cul-de-sac to convene but Kevin refused. He couldn't go back. Not while Edd was still out there. Eddy and Ed had suggested a number of places but Kevin was convinced Edd wasn't there. If Edd wanted to be alone he certainly found a way to go unseen by the public so he had to think outside of the box.
The wind had calmed some but as the midnight hour crept upon him Kevin's hope had begun to diminish. He struggled not to think of what might happen if he didn't find Edd in time. Even if the image of Eddward sprawled in the snow, cold and lifeless haunted his waking thoughts, he had stay focused. He couldn't let his emotions run wild when there was still a sliver of hope.
Inevitably the foot prints did disappear, but not before leading him to a park. Kevin didn't care as he rode his bike right up onto the side walk and cruised down the walkways. They were large enough to accommodate his bike and then some, and he seriously doubted any authority figures were around to stop him. So he carried on, emerald depths firmly set on his surroundings. Through his shaded visor he couldn't see anything. Not a speck of life was present. Everything but the snowfall was still, disturbingly so.
Pushing forward Kevin had come upon a brick wall. It was a strange structure to find so he followed it all the way around. Much to his surprise the brick wall led him to a large play area for children, decked out with swings and a jungle gym; but there was no sign of life. Devastated, Kevin climbed off his bike and ran for the gym. Like a mad man he searched through the pen, gazing up the length of the slides and running across the little rickety bridge that connected one post to another. He checked under the cubby holes and even behind the bushes surrounding it. He looked up into the trees, dug his way through larger piles of snow but came up empty handed each time.
The tracks had led him nowhere. There was nothing to find.
In despair Kevin had allowed his anger to fuel the rage behind his fist, pounding mercilessly into the ground until his entire arm began to hurt and he was forced to back off. Hand throbbing and blood pounding in his ears Kevin collapsed like a house of cards, his back sliding against the tough bark of the tree as he stared forlornly up at the sky. He'd been searching for hours. What if he was too late? What if Edd was already so far gone he couldn't be found?
No, his mind barked. It's not too late. It can't be. I'll find him. I fucking swear it.
Kevin dropped his hand to his side and idly picked at the fabric of his pants. This wasn't fair. He came all this way to find him only to have lost him again. He wanted nothing more than to know Edd was ok. There was no telling what kind of danger he might get himself into. Kevin had promised to be there to protect him but what was his word if he couldn't even do this? Whether he wanted it to happen or not the sockhead had become his responsibility and no amount sponging could clear away the stain of this night if Edd simply could not be found.
Kevin flicked up the visor on his helmet and sighed. The sky looked so beautiful yet he felt nothing for it. He didn't bother to look at the time and for a moment just allowed himself to become one with the tree as his raging heart beat fell into a slow and steady rhythm. He should be on his feet but his leg felts like lead, threatening to slow him down if he didn't stop to breathe. He needed to collect himself. As he was it would only hold him back. He needed to keep his head on straight. Think like his father would.
He remembered as a child when his mother had left Ron in charge of looking after their son at the mall. When she didn't immediately return Ron had grown worried, carrying Kevin everywhere with him in search of his wife. The look on his father's face as they traveled from store to store, asking everyone in passing if they had seen her, had seared itself into his mind. It proved just how much his father loved his mother but never once did Ron ever let Kevin down. He held onto his boy and patted his back until they could find her, making a game of their search and never giving up until her smiling face was found at the entrance of the women's restrooms. Turns out food sickness at the mall was a terrible thing to have happen and she later laughed at how ridiculous they had been about the whole thing. But it was an adventure that taught their son the most basic of lessons; to never lose himself when the gauntlet was thrown.
Breathing in through the nose and out the mouth, Kevin allowed the winter air to enter into him. It cooled his insides enough to make him shiver, his thoughts threatening once more to lose control, but upon the exhale allowed every fear and concern to flow from him. And in that exact moment he saw something out of the corner of his eye. Something… red. A shiny apple red that inexplicably stuck out above the snow. He didn't see much of a point to it but he was drawn towards its cylindrical shape regardless, its color calling to him like a siren's song.
From what he could tell it was a children's play thing. A tube large enough for even a small adult to climb into. He didn't see much point in staring at for long and nearly walked away. Suddenly the bleakness that horded over him manifested itself into something new and exciting, plucking at his heartstrings as he gaze down at feet to find none other than a familiar set of foot prints.
Kevin would have jumped for joy had his feet not already been in the process of running. Snow kicked up behind as he ran, legs carrying him as far as they could past the red tube, out the opening in the wall and somewhere into the heart of the park. Up ahead he saw lamp posts whose lights glimmered in the dark, the foot prints leading him right to them. The prints looked fresh, as if having just been laid and Kevin felt his heart rattle about in his ribcage. Anticipation filled his veins and all he could think to do was run faster.
Ascending through the trees Kevin took a short cut. He knocked back branches and rushed through the bushes at a maddening pace, uncaring if they caught at his jacket or scratched at the sides of his helmet. The foot prints carried on along a cemented pathway that his eyes followed while he continued to rush through the frozen foliage. Whoever had been walking had taken care not to stray far from the pathway and this tiny bit of information tingled at the back of his mind. Only one person in the world was that much of a rule follower.
In the distance he spotted one of the many lit lamp posts. Below it was a bench. An occupied bench.
Kevin's pace slowed the loser he drew near. He was very much out of breath, sweat having collected on the back of his neck. He felt felt suffocated in his helmet but he was afraid to take the riding gear off. He was terrified of losing sight of his find, as though it would suddenly disappear if he even so much as blinked.
Through the jutting branches Kevin watched as the figure began to stir, his heart and limbs stilling as he watched what he found to be a person ever so casually cross one leg over the other. From where he stood he could not their face. The light over them had shrouded their eyes in darkness, further covered the black hat that was snuggled nice and tight over their ears and hair. Their face was tucked towards their chest and protected by the raised collar of their coat, a disturbing moss colored affair that Kevin honestly couldn't see his dork wearing.
Yet he was transfixed on this figure. Practically spellbound as his feet carried him like a predator towards the tree line and beyond. This person could have been anyone; a woman out for a stroll, some penniless drunk down on his luck. A fucking mirage for all he knew but Kevin's trepidation was not enough to overpower his will. He wanted to believe in his heart of hearts that he had found what he was looking for. That the figure before him was his precious Eddward and that he was alive and well.
He clasped his hands into fists to keep them from shaking.
Edd had crossed his legs in an attempt to get the blood flowing so he could encourage himself to start moving. He just felt so darn comfortable on that bench, his body boneless as he waded through the gentle fog of hibernation to see his quiet world now shrouded in starlight. Light pollution in small towns was significantly lower than in larger cities, where traffic lights and street lights and tall buildings that never knew sleep kept the world lit in artificial illumination. Fine and dandy as it was, nothing could beat the kind of luminescence that came from the sun or its moon. Not even the stars.
Each speck in the sky was like a child's wish, flickering so powerfully they could be seen in the velvet sky all the way from earth. Edd wondered as he sat there with a hazy gleam to his eyes if maybe his wishes were still up there. He had made many as a child, when he believed in that sort of frivolity, so if the sky were just a jar of collected hopes and dreams maybe his were still up there somewhere. Waiting patiently to be answered. He wasn't a child any longer. Those days were far behind, but even adults could dream. He still did. Though his wishes might have changed over time he still had a heart that could believe in the impossible. An imagination paired with a mind that could make those very dreams of his become a reality. To some extend children had that capacity where the prize resulted from magic or grit.
Youth, maturity, were they really so different?
No one could say Edd's life was easy or that it was a hardship of the century. When children mature it is believed that their ideals and burdens change. Their wants become addictions and their needs amplify, propagating the natural effect of change.
Change is a scary concept. A general census in the fear of the unknown.
What if I make a mistake? What if I fail? If I make this choice, will I have it worse off than I did before? Nobody wants to lose what they have gained but experiencing loss is just a part of the natural order of things. Misplacing objects, losing loved ones, and having being stolen from are just minuscule moments in our existence that force us to stop and take a look around. Sometimes we fall for the charisma of comfort, neither backtracking nor accelerating; and Edd had been caught in that terrible loop. He'd been racing in place for years without even knowing it.
He had doubted himself and his intelligence. He had convinced himself that by returning to the devil he knew he wouldn't have to concern himself with having to learn a new one. With Edwin and his mother he knew what to expect but being on his own, alone and struggling to integrate what little knowledge of the world he carried with him, it was terrifying. Edd is not the first person in the world to have been faced with the opportunity of change only to run from it, and he certainly wouldn't be the last. He ran from his past, ran from his future, but now he wasn't running.
Was he still afraid? Of course. Life is a gamble. You can never hope to gain when you are unwilling to let go.
Man was born with only to hands and in each palm we are granted a key, one to our past and the other to our future. At birth we are gifted with the blessing of choice. There was never a day that Edd had lived where he was without his options. He chose to run his past, leaving the door wide open for his problems to follow. Then he proceeded to jam the key to his future in the lock but he never bothered to turn it. Somewhere in the in between he had lost his identity. His sense of self-worth had been drained and he had meandered angrily in his mother's home for days before something inside of him snapped.
Like a puzzle piece fitting into place he now saw the bigger picture for what it was.
He had regarded his past and made his peace. That door was now closed. Now he faced the long and winding path that would hopefully lead him back to his future. Whether or not the key was still there he was determined to try. Some opportunities are allotted only so much time but even if that door too was closed, his journey would still be far from over. Even if Edd didn't get what he wanted, he didn't have to settle for the outcome. His ambitions could carry him to ends of the earth, take him to new and exciting heights! And the name of his ambition is purpose.
Persistence.
Endurance.
He would carry with him all these facets until the day he died. The child in him was still very much alive but now looked up to his adult self with trust, and the knowledge that every decision he made from here on out would be just as precious and as meaningful as the ones that lead him to this revelation. He would not look upon his bad decisions with too much criticism but instead see them as the stepping stones he needed to cross in order to come to this very moment in his life.
Humming quietly to himself Edd let his thoughts wander.
The sky tonight was just so beautiful. He couldn't count the number of stars he could see but he did make shapes out of them, lifting his hand and tracing over them with his finger. He made a teddy bear, a sea horse and a big smiley face just for the fun of it. He very much like his seven year old self, as though two warring halves of himself had finally made peace and merged. He no longer felt required to be one or the other. He could just be…him. The adorkable nerd who stuck his nose in books and cried like a babe when he lost his virginity.
Ah, yes. That night. He recollected on it fondly.
At the time it hadn't been funny but looking back upon it he could see just how silly he had been, blubbering in bed until Kevin came to console him. And awkwardly so he might add. The poor thing looked so guilty for what he had done but didn't regret it, and in the end neither did Edd. Never before had he been showered in such affection, the intimacy so real-so intense that it had knocked him right out of this world. Kevin had been a passionate lover, just as generous as he was demanding.
That night they had made love before the stars and in the glow of city lights, gasping and clutching onto one another as though it would be their last. He remembered the way Kevin had pressed him into the glass of the sliding door, his flushed expression greeting him as he peered directly into the reflection of Kevin's face. He had been so focused on his task, strumming his fingers across Edd's skin like a harp and making him call out his name until he knew nothing else.
What he would give to feel Kevin's arms wrapped around him in that very instant. He missed the man's smell, the way he felt beneath his hands. His cocky yet dashing smile. The way he groaned and moped when he didn't get his way, and the honorable way he treated every situation like he was a part of it and not above it, or trying to control it.
Edd felt another wave of sleepiness hit him as a yawn broke out amidst his thoughts, forcing his brain to stop thinking for just a second. He was sleeping in patches which was better than nothing he supposed however he wouldn't be as rested as he hoped come morning. He had a long an arduous walk ahead of him so when his eyes fell shut once more he allowed it. He tried not to think about Kevin too much as the park's unique quietness lulled him into a sense of security, the snowflakes having stopped falling but the wind having just begun to pick up.
The chill of the night tugged at Edd's hat and coat, loosening his black and white beanie just the slightest so his hair could spill out from beneath it. A curtain of ebony tickled his cheeks, causing him to smile while the wind continued to bombard him from the front. Perhaps he should switch benches, maybe to one that was facing away from the wind. Ah but he was just so comfortable right here. Maybe if the wind died he could stay here until morning. He was tempted to do just that but he didn't want to have to face trouble should park authorities be in the vicinity at that time. Deciding to stay here for just a few hours longer Edd tried to let himself sleep. It was hard to do so with the wind chilling his face and a brain that never stopped functioning, but he was confident the longer he sat still the more likely he would succumb to the sandman's call.
Much to his delight the wind at his face finally stilled. He let out a sigh of relief, the warm air from his lungs drifting up and away from his lips in a cloud of smoky grey. This was much better. Hopefully, if the wind picked up again, it wouldn't wake him like it did before and he could stay asleep for a bit longer.
Much to his fortunate however, the wind did pickup. A little stronger this time.
Edd felt the air around him shift, the breeze causing the upturned collar and the ends of his jacket to flap wildly around. The burst was sudden, causing him to flinch before it eased in a gentle sway that caused the branches of the trees and the bushes around him to crackle and rustle together. The sound was strangely peaceful. Relaxing.
Had it not been for the shadow that draped over him.
The caress of the wind at his front immediately ceased but he felt the tug of it at his shoulders and legs. Chin tilted down Edd's eyes fluttered back open, his long black lashes sweeping over his reddened cheeks as his eyes stared sleepily at the ground. The light of the lamp post had not gone out on but a black and indecipherable shadow had been cast upon the tips of his shoes. It was neither shaped nor perfectly round, eliminating the chance that perhaps it was the lamp posts own shadow or perhaps that of the trees around him.
Gliding like skates on ice his eyes peered further along the floor, dancing curiously over the shape of a large and heavy looking boot. Blinking curiously Edd lifted his gaze, the boots giving way to a pair of padded black leather leggings. A rather obnoxious stripe of red ran diagonally from thigh to ankle, disappearing beneath the boot's tongue which laced nearly half way up each leg. Further up he saw a pair of hips and a belt that latched securely at the midsection before continuing on to a slim center and another pair of red lines that crisscrossed over a broad expansion of chest. The shoulders were broad as well, arms hanging with purposes at either side as the turtle like neckline disappeared beneath the sleek black shine of a motorcycle helmet.
At first Edd's brain didn't register what he was seeing. He thought it was a mirage, a neat trick his brain concocted while he dozed somewhere in between sleep and the waking world. The cold was perhaps to blame for this but he could not deny the very real sound of crunching snow as those heavy boots made a slow and steady approach towards him. Snapping open his eyes Edd stared up into the darkened visor of the helmet, the heart in his chest beating a mile a minute as he stared on in silent awe. He hadn't realized someone else was out here. He thought for sure he was alone.
Rather suddenly the figure stopped walking, the fists as his side shaking and causing a bubble of concern to rise in Eddward's gullet. Not wanting to be rude however, he greeted this stranger with a smile.
"Greetings. Lovely evening we have don't we?"
He tried not to let his teeth chatter as he spoke but it was very had to do so when one was without many layers on a night like this. The person standing before him was cutting off the brunt of the wind and for that smell blessing he was thankful.
The stranger in black neither answered nor moved a step closer. They simply remained where they stood, feet planted in the snow and shoulders squared with their head tilted down as though they were staring directly back at him. This confused Edd. Surely the man had some purpose of being here. It was rather cold for a leisurely stroll and he didn't dare think of what ungodly hour it was for them to be out there. The stranger hardly looked like an authority figure so Edd wasn't too concerned about being harassed by park authorities but that didn't mean this stranger didn't mean him any harm. So Edd stared back at them. Just as silent and unmoving as a statue. If this person didn't want to talk he wouldn't force them but whoever they were had best not step closer. They were close enough for a silent person as far as he was concerned and he wasn't about to get himself mixed up in trouble.
They stayed there like that for what seemed like an eternity, neither one of their gazes shifting even when the winds decided to change and came at them from the side. With hardly any sleep and no food in his system Edd's patience ran dry far more quickly than he expected so he smiled up at the stranger as he took a chance and stood. Snow had collected on the seat around him so it fell like powdered sugar to the ground as he stood. Patting his legs he brushing away what little snow had collected on his person and kept his grin confident.
"Pardon me, but I must be going."
There was no telling if this person was dangerous or not and without so much as a peep from them Edd did not want to take the chance of incurring their wrath. He wasn't much of a fighter but he would protect himself if he needed to. Hopefully this encounter wouldn't amount to that and was just an odd occurrence, something he could later laugh at.
There was a total of three steps taken before a gloved fist reached out and grabbed Edd by the center of his coat, a force he was not expecting dragging him forward into a solid wall of muscle.
Edd's head whipped forward and his nose collided with something padded and hard, causing him to cry out in shock. Cupping his face Edd pressed his fingers to his tender nose, thanking the universe there hadn't been any damage, but now he was mad. How dare this ruffian place a hand on him! Glaring first at the fist coiled like metal spring in his coat he his stare intensified as he lifted his eyes to glower at the stranger's face. He was met with his own sour expression reflecting back at him through the helmet's glossy shine and if he wasn't so upset he would have laughed at how silly his warped face looked in it.
"You uncouth barbarian! How dare you lay a hand on my person without my permission."
Edd's outrage seemed to pass on deaf ears, the material of his coat deviating as the leathered fingers in it shifted for a tighter grip. The only consolation Edd could find in that moment was that the figure had eased him back so that he wasn't chest to chest with them, but he was still forced to tilt his head back to look at them. Compared to them Edd was at least an entire head shorter, practically half the size of this towering giant. Edds's personal space had been violated without his consent and that was something the sockhead refused to tolerate.
Grabbing ahold of the stranger's fist he rose up onto his toes and made sure his displeasure could not in fact be misinterpreted as he dug his fingers in.
"If you do not unhand me at once I shall be forced to remove you myself. Now let go"
The fist in Edd's hand began to shake, his eyes bouncing down to it before lifting back up to find the stranger's head tilted down and away. His brows knitted together in confusion. Just who was this person and why were they acting this way? Suddenly he heard from the dome of the helmet a sound he wasn't expecting. Laughter.
"Hehe, you're funny kid."
The sound was muffled but the words were heard clear as day.
"Funny?" Edd couldn't have been anymore offended. "With all due respect sir, you seem to be the funny one."
The stranger, a man from what he could tell, shifted his head to stare at him.
"For some asinine reason you seem to find very little disrespect in taking hold of one's attire. These, I'll have you know, are the only ones I have and I do intend to keep them in the best condition that I can manage." Edd's hand had yet to release the man's fist. "Now if you will excuse me-"
"Nah I don't think so." The man purred. "I think I'll bug you for a bit longer."
Deciding not to let this dork go the man stepped closer, however to his surprise Edd did not back down. Their chests brushed in the process, their hips dangerously close to meeting as their hearts leapt in time. Something in the back of Edd's mind poked and prodded at his memories but whatever image had struggled to conjure forth became hazy, clouded. It was as though he should know something about this person yet he was more than certain he had never known a man so intrusive or crass in all his life.
Well there was one.
Edd's eyes lit furiously and his fingers slipped fast the man's fist, his fingers entwining around the man's wrist instead. Edwin had taught him very minor self-defense and thanks to that he knew exactly where and where not to apply pressure.
"I will not play into your mad wiles good sir." He spat, his thumb hovering dangerously close to the joint.
The man smirked and Edd could swear he could feel it. The man's gaze was… something else. He might not have been able to see his eyes but Edd could feel the way the man leered at him, unseen depths roaming over his form like a thirsty man in the desert; and the sockhead was the oasis.
"You afraid of me?"
Now what on earth kind of question is that?
Edd could only scoff as he turned his nose up at the stranger. "Of course not. You present yourself as quite the intimidating presence hiding behind your silly helmet, but I am not afraid of you."
When he spoke it was with true conviction. His chrome depths set and his frown painting the picture of absolute seriousness. If this man did not release him he could not be held accountable for the pain he was about to deliver; and a thumb to the wrist was a pain he could easily equate to grazing his testicles. Yeah, that happened once and boy did that not feel so fresh.
Edd poised his finger so that he was ready for anything. "Now step aside so that I may pass peacefully."
The man shook his head but before Edd could deliver the blow, he spoke. Catching the sockhead's attention immediately. "How did you get this way?"
That tickle at the back of his mind had now grown into a full blown itch. Something about this encounter, was familiar. He felt hit with a sense of deja vu and shaking his head was all he could to rid himself of the oddly euphoric sensation.
"Uh…well… Not that long." He answered truthfully, his thumb idly brushing away from the man's wrist. "Just a few hours actually." His eyes then softened, his tone quickly following suite though he hadn't meant to do. "If you must know I've simply outgrown the need for my immediate family and have chosen to change my environment. Including the people in it."
The man tilted his head. "That's... brutal."
Edd nodded. "For them perhaps but this was for my own well-being."
The man's fist ceased its infernal shaking and Edd felt the fingers in his coat release him.
"Can… can you stand to live like this?"
Edd fell back on his heels as the hand departed from his clothes. He let out a mental sigh of relief.
"N-Not forever mind you. This is merely a temporary means of gathering my wits and resources without the need of assistance." Was it just him or did the man sound genuine in his interest? It honestly boggled the sockhead's mind, even as it began to race. Something about this was so damn familiar and yet he could not place it. "Until that becomes an absolute necessary I do intend to keep things that way."
The man stepped back suddenly, causing the sockhead to raise an inquiring brow at his actions.
"Don't you have some place to go, like a friend's?"
This question actually made Edd smile. "Actually, I'm headed home."
Edd's eyes danced to the sky and the man inhaled sharply.
"As long a journey as it is, I have hope that I will one day reach it." The sockhead sighed and straightened the front of his coat, brushing futilely at the wrinkles the man had caused in it. "I have come to realize that home is where the heart is and for a while I didn't know just what that meant. Then I met someone."
The man stayed silent.
"And now I know. Hopefully I haven't caused too much damage. I don't expect to be welcomed back with waiting arms but a man can always dream. Right?"
Eddward chuckled, his sense of fear and mistrust lost upon him as he grew more comfortable speaking. Oddly enough, it seemed like the right thing to do.
"It's about time I picked my life back up where it was. Where I should have been this whole time instead of running away like a frightened child."
The man once more fell silent and the gentle howl of the wind filled both their ears. Eddward couldn't hold back a shiver and huddled as much as he could into his coat.
"It is with some regret that I must inform you that our time here is up. I am rather chilly and need to find shelter before I freeze like a snow cone. Please, do excuse my rudeness and let me pass. I am very tired."
The man's hands balled into fists at his side as Eddward attempted to side step him. The man was generating a lot of heat and Edd was starting to feel suffocated in his presence. However history had a terrible habit of repeating of itself as Edd found himself once more pressed to a wall of muscle and his coat caught in the iron clad grip of the man's fist. The sockhead gasped and made a grab for the man's wrists but before he knew what was happening the man's head had come to land a top of Eddward's shoulder, their bodies pressing so tightly together Edd felt an unbidden quiver flutter through his system like butterflies.
Edd's cheeks immediately flushed. He was trapped against the man, their hips jutting so tightly into one another not even a sliver of fine paper could have weaseled its way in between them. The man whose head rested upon his shoulder turned his face toward's the sockhead's neck, his breath wanting to reach the fair skin just within his sight but still trapped within the perfect seal of his helmet.
"What's wrong? Can't handle the heat?"
Eddward's breath hitched, his body immediately tensing. That voice. He knew that voice.
"I-" He cleared his throat. "I-I can handle it just fine. T-thank you."
He swore he could feel the smirk forming right beside him, burning like fire through the side of his neck and up at his reddening face.
"Then why were you running away?"
Eddward turned his eyes skyward in reverence as tears catapulted past his eye lids. Like babbling brooks they trickled down both sides of his face, sweeping each red cheek in a trail of hot salty wetness. They were hot and threatened to freeze on his skin but nothing in the world could have convinced him to care.
Edd's breath shuddered as he spoke, turning his gaze ever so slowly to stare down at the man clinging to him like a life line. "I wasn't- I'm not. Not anymore."
That beautiful muffled baritone he knew so well chuckled and eyes of emerald green gazed over the boy in absolute praise. Through his shaded visor Edd looked like an angel in disguise, his blue depths dancing in the foreground of a star filled sky. With shaking hands Edd pressed the man back but his fingers clasped directly into his suit. Slowly, they reached for the man's helmet.
The dome felt smooth and perfectly circular in his palms. The helmet looked to be well taken care, save for a few scratches that could just barely be seen in the light of the lamp post. Ignoring each indentation and the stories they could tell, Edd braced himself and lifted the helmet. His heart skipped wildly in his chest as it came free and just as he realized he had forgotten to breathe, his new found breath was stolen in an instance and the helmet dropped to the ground.
Eddward covered his mouth.
There were tears in his eyes. Tears in Kevin's beautiful eyes.
Eddward had never seen such a sight. He never thought Kevin capable of shedding tears. He was always so bold, so strong. The perfect figure a man should aspire to be, and yet, there he stood. With wet freckled cheeks and red rimmed eyes that pierced through the sockhead's heart like a sharpened sword. Meeting his gaze for the first time in what felt like a century, Edd's heart could burst forth from his chest and he could have died happily right then and there knowing he got to see his one and only Kevin again.
Almost afraid of him being an illusion Edd reached his hands for Kevin's face, needing to feel him. Needing to assure himself that this was real, but before his fingertips could even grace the silk of skin that called to him Kevin collapsed to his knees. Edd gasped and his arms fell around Kevin's neck as the man grabbed a hold of his pants waist line, fingers clasping the hem so tightly they both could hear the groan of leather as his fingers rubbed together. The hand fisted in Edd's coat was reluctant to release but found home upon the dork's outer thigh, bracing Edd so close to him that his face was pressed directly into his hips and stomach.
And Kevin held him like that, unwilling to let him go. Uncaring that his knees were now dirty or that anyone in the waking world could step outside and see him as he was. He'd found his dork. He'd found his Edd alive and well. More tears sprang forth but he hid them against Eddward's stomach, allowing the ugly green coat to catch them as he basked in this reprieve.
"Oh god Edd." He strained, pressing his nose into the sockhead's thigh.
"Kevin." The dork choked on his words. "H-how… I don't-" He almost couldn't believe this was happening.
"Shh." Kevin whispered into his leg, his hot breath penetrating through the sockhead's pants and warming the pale skin beneath. "That doesn't matter right. What matters is that I'm here. I'm here Edd…. I'm here."
Kevin's grip was iron tight but Eddward didn't mind. Not as he held Kevin's face to his stomach and began to sob silently into the night. In no time at all his body began to shake and he too wanted to fall to the ground and be held. Yet he remained standing, anchoring the man in his arms to this cold and wish filled world as both he and Kevin reveled in each other's presence. At last.
And there you have it. Is this the end? Nah. Still got a little ways to go but every story has their curtain call. Eventually.
Anyways let me know what you guys thought. I look forward to hearing from you guys. Until next time~
Ciao!
