I'm sorry I abandoned this story for a while. I hope I'll be able to keep writing it.

The Story So Far: Dylan has made a real connection with mental health nurse Angela. He enjoys her company and finds her very easy to talk to - he's even told her about the baby sister he's never met. Angela loves Dervla too. She seems perfect for Dylan, but he just won't seem to make the first move. A severely depressed Ethan has been admitted to the Holby psych ward where Angela works. Cal is desperate to help him enjoy life again. After a disastrous attempt at a relationship with Dylan, Zoe is reunited with Max and they want to make a go of their marriage.

Bonnie Sveen Fan, thank you for your review. It is really sad for Cal and Ethan. All Ethan can see is his diagnosis and Cal feels so helpless. I agree that Dylan's awkwardness can be very cute!

westlife4ever80, I think Dylan might love Angela! He's certainly letting into his life a lot more than he would most people. But I don't think he can see what is obvious to all of us! I really like that you can see the sweetness in Cal and Ethan's relationship as well as the sadness. Thank you for your review.

Tanith Panic, thank you for your review. It is getting more difficult to keep the Cal and Ethan scenes fresh and interesting, but I'm glad I'm just about managing it! I'm glad you like the pace of the relationship between Dylan and Angela. I think some people find it too slow.

LoveFiction2016, I find Dylan's awkwardness very cute too and that's part of why I love him. His awkwardness can be amusing, but it can also be very touching because it's a sign he's really trying to connect, which is unusual for him. Thank you for your review.

Lou, thank you for your review. I'm glad you're reading and enjoying the story, even if you do think it's a bit slow. All I can say about that is... please read this chapter! I am actually planning for someone to have an accident.

Amyxoxo, thank you for your review. I'm really glad you're enjoying the story. You'll find out some of what happens to Dylan and Angela on the boat in this chapter - I hope you like it.

Guest, thank you for your review. It doesn't sound evil - we're Casualty fans and it wouldn't be Casualty without accidents! Don't worry: someone will be admitted to the ED fairly soon.

MrsDylanKeogh, Dylan is a really interesting character and great to read about, but he has such a distinctive personality, I find him difficult to write and I'm probably not the only one. I hope this chapter will help make up for the shortage of Dylan stories! Thank you for your review.

Thank you to hot2trot619 LaughLikeTheJoker for the follow and favourite.


Cal paced the corridor near the psych ward and wondered what was wrong with him. He was only going to see his brother. He'd actually seen him several times throughout the day, thanks to Dylan's kindness and generosity (which Cal would have expected to find surprising, yet somehow didn't) and although Cal loved being with his brother more than anything, it still broke his heart every time he saw him.

"Cal?"

Cal turned to see Zoe and Max walking towards him, hand in hand. Cal wished for a moment that he had a hand to hold on to, but he couldn't think of anyone he'd like to hold hands with. Except his beautiful little Matilda, but he was glad she didn't have to see her Uncle Nibbles like this.

"Cal?" said Zoe gently. She placed her hand on his arm. "How are you?"

Cal shrugged.

"It's always hard," said Zoe. "Seeing Ethan like that… of course it's hard. And that's okay. It's because you love him. "

Cal nodded. He loved Ethan so much.

"But he does need you," said Zoe softly. "And you can help him, Cal. It might take time – it probably will take time – but I believe in you."

Cal knew she was right. He did need to go in.

But he was so scared.

"We'll go in with you if you like," offered Max. "If that would help."

Cal didn't think anything would help. Nothing but seeing Ethan restored to his old self. He'd thought it was bad before when Ethan had been getting drunk and bringing shopping trolleys home, but at least he'd been happy. "I know it's stupid. But the idea of walking in there and seeing my brother… it scares me."

Zoe gave him a hug. "I know, Cal. I know."

"He's only been in there for a day." Cal tried not to cry. He didn't want Ethan to see the signs of tears on his face. He couldn't give Ethan another reason to hate himself. "But it can't be just a day. It feels so much longer than just a day."

Zoe held him more tightly.

"Um, there's some chairs over there if you want to…" Max nodded towards them.

Cal felt Zoe guiding him forward and then gently lowering him into a chair. Zoe sat beside him and hugged him again. Max sat on his other side.

"I just…" began Cal. He stopped. Zoe wouldn't want to hear how he was feeling. Ethan was the one who was really suffering. What Cal was going through was nothing.

"You can tell us, Cal," said Zoe. "We're listening and we want to support you. Not just Ethan. Both of you."

"I just… I'm so scared…"

Zoe stroked his arm.

"…so scared he won't get better," said Cal. Tears crowded his vision again; he paused before continuing. "And every time I go in there and he's still not better, the more I feel that maybe he won't and I've lost my brother forever."


Dylan unlocked the door of the boat and was about to go in, only to realise he should really stand back and let Angela go in first. He stepped back onto something soft and heard a muffled gasp from Angela. Dylan stepped away quickly and turned round. "I'm sorry. Was that your foot?"

"Oh, no, I don't think so," said Angela. "It's fine, Dylan."

Dylan looked at her for a moment, trying to remember what he was meant to be doing. "After you."

Angela looked slightly surprised, then she smiled and walked into the boat. As soon as she had, Dylan started to panic that he'd left it in a mess. He knew Angela wouldn't complain, but that wasn't the point.

He followed Angela into the boat, Dervla at his heels, and he was relieved to discover it was reasonably tidy.

"Dylan, it's lovely!" exclaimed Angela, turning to smile at him.

Dylan felt rather dizzy. Clearly, he was in need of food.

"You are lucky to live here," said Angela. "It's a lovely boat and you're right here on the river… does it get noisy?"

"Sometimes," admitted Dylan. "But the nearest pub is several streets away. So it's mostly quiet."

"It's lovely," said Angela, as though she really meant it. "It's like being part of a different world – and after working in the ED, perhaps that's what you need most: to leave it all behind and step into a different world."

Dylan looked at her in surprise.

Angela lowered her head. "I'm sorry. That probably sounds so silly."

"No, not at all," said Dylan. "I was actually thinking you're probably exactly right, though it had never occurred to me before. Shall we sit down?"

Angela went to sit on the sofa, Dervla immediately jumping up beside her and lying her head in Angela's lap.

Dylan wished he could do that and was immediately appalled by the thought. "Would you like some coffee?"

To his relief, Angela said yes, and Dylan took the opportunity to put a bit of distance between them. But as soon as they were further apart, the atmosphere of the boat seemed to change. It seemed several degrees colder, for one thing, and though his unexpected jitters had gone, he found he almost missed them.

Something was certainly missing that he'd been very aware of just seconds before.

Dylan made the coffee and carried the mugs over to Angela. They sat in silence for a while, though not an uncomfortable silence, then Dylan decided he really should mention his reason for inviting Angela to come to the boat. "It does become easier."

Angela looked slightly confused, but then she smiled and said: "I'm sure you're right, Dylan," in a grateful tone of voice.

Dylan nevertheless had the impression she didn't know what he was talking about. "I mean treating patients you know becomes easier. It never becomes easy and for that reason it's usually not advised, but detachment becomes easier with time. You also, with experience, develop more confidence in your own ability to help. Also, as you get to know your colleagues, you feel more confidence in them when you work as a team."

He hoped he wouldn't offend Angela. Dylan knew he quite often offended others without meaning to and he didn't usually let it bother him, but he didn't ever want to offend Angela. She was so…

"Thank you, Dylan," said Angela, smiling at him. "That really helps. I really can't imagine being detached from helping Ethan, but knowing you can do it… it gives me a bit of hope that perhaps I'll be able to do it to a small extent too. One day."

"I'm sure you can," said Dylan. He hesitated. "I'm telling you this in the strictest confidence and I can't give any details as I wasn't working at the ED at that time, but shortly before I did return, a number of the staff were in a bus crash, including Ethan. Cal was distraught, naturally, but he performed a pericardiocentesis – a procedure on the heart – and saved Ethan's life."

Angela's eyes widened. "That's incredible. That was so brave of Cal."

Dylan nodded. "It was. I've never had a sibling – well, of course, as you know, I do have a sibling now, but I can't say I know her – but I can… imagine the difficulty. It would be similar to my performing a procedure on Dervla, though of course I'm not qualified for that."

Angela smiled. "I'm sure it's exactly like that. It's hard to see someone you care about suffering, especially when you have to do things that could make it worse. That's part of the problem for me with Ethan. With all my patients, it's easy to say and do the wrong thing. The right thing is different for every patient and it isn't the same all the time. If something works once, that doesn't mean it'll work five minutes later. It's like we're feeling around in the dark for the light switch, knowing that the chances are the bulb has gone. And even if I find the switch, it might not be the light switch at all. It might be the switch that causes a horrific electric shock."

"That's very eloquent and descriptive," said Dylan, "and it describes your situation exactly. It's an excellent way of explaining it – but I'm not sure it helps you."

Angela looked at him eagerly. "Do you know what would help?"

"Of course I can't be absolutely sure it doesn't help," said Dylan quickly. "We're all as different and varied as our patients are. But I find it helps to make everything as simple and basic and technical as possible. If we're thinking of a situation in an emotional way in our minds, we feel the emotions and it's difficult to be objective and detached."

"Yes, that's a really good point," said Angela.

"Of course, I usually go too far in the other direction and become too detached," said Dylan. "This can make the patients feel threatened and then they're less likely to confide in me. It's a delicate balance which not everyone is ever able to work out." He looked at her and smiled, finding it came naturally to him as he looked at her. "But I believe you can do it. You have the intelligence, but you also compassionate and insightful. You're an exceptional mental health nurse and I believe you will become even better."

"Thank you," said Angela breathlessly.

Her eyes looked so big and wide; Dylan had a feeling he should be looking away from her now, but he couldn't. All he could do was watch as her eyes appeared larger than ever and it was only at the last minute that he realised she'd moved closer to him and only when her lips touched his that he knew why.