Authors Note: As always, thanks for your reviews! I had to split this one up; I know, what else is new, right? Part 3 is almost finished; it shouldn't be too long of a wait.

Chapter 52- Every Rose Has Its Thorn – Part 2

Any hopes for a weekend reconciliation that Johanna had been harboring were thoroughly dashed come Monday. She didn't hear from Jim, although in all honesty she hadn't really expected to…not in a relationship sense, but she thought that he might call…under the guise of discussing the case they were working on but the phone line had remained silent on his end. He didn't come around and she didn't run into him anywhere while out on her errands…not that she was trying to run into him…she had just hoped that she would and that the contact would garner some form of discussion. Apparently Jim felt no need to talk about anything; maybe he was happy with his freedom…maybe he had been tired of her already and the whole thing had been an excuse to break up because he couldn't figure out a way to let her down gently. She sighed, that wasn't a happy thought.

She had reluctantly gone to her mother's for Sunday dinner and she had to force herself not to give anything away when her mother had asked about Jim. She had smiled and said that he was fine…but she had a feeling that she hadn't been very convincing for Naomi had eyed her in the way only a mother could, as if she was analyzing everything about her and making a diagnosis. Before her mother could pry further, Colleen had jumped in and changed the subject, sparing her from further comment about the topic. She was thankful that her sister had been there, she was, in some ways surprisingly, being a comfort and support. She wondered if maybe Colleen wasn't quietly asking for some support herself, Paul had been notably absent and she seemed a little quiet. Colleen had assured her that everything was fine but she wasn't so sure that she believed that. She accepted the answer though, not prying further but reminded her sister that she could always talk to her about anything if she needed to.

Maybe the McKenzie sisters were just cursed when it came to love, Johanna thought to herself. Colleen had her dream wedding and achieved her lifelong goal marrying a rich man but she didn't seem very happy lately. Then there was her…she had finally found the man she could see herself spending more than a few months with and she had blown it despite her every attempt to keep their relationship stable and happy. Yes, they seemed to be cursed…the question was, how did you get rid of the curse? That might have to be a question she posed to her grandmother when she talked to her again; after all, Sophia proclaimed to know all about such things.

She did her best to shake off her melancholy thoughts and turned her attention to her work once again. The door of her office opened and her secretary slipped inside.

"So?" Sharon asked after she laid a few files on Johanna's desk.

"So what?" Johanna asked as she looked up from her work. She and Sharon hadn't talked much since the morning after the break up. She had tried a few times on Friday but her friend had given her the cold shoulder so she had ceased her attempts. She was tired of begging people to be a part of her life.

"Are you through with being mad at me?" her secretary asked.

"You're the one who got mad," Johanna answered. "I invited you to go out with me and Maggie; I also tried to talk to you Friday before I went to court but you weren't interested in conversation."

"Well you did accuse me of causing your break up."

"No, I accused all of you of contributing to my break up and I haven't changed my opinion on that. The jokes pushed over a domino and set off a chain reaction it seems, but there's nothing to be done about it now. It's over. I'm fine if you're fine."

"You're awful blasé about all of this," Sharon replied. "I really didn't expect you to be over it so soon."

"I'm not over him," Johanna stated; "But I feel like my hands are tied."

"Why don't you just tell him to get over it? It was just some harmless teasing like we've all done before to each other. Since when did he get so sensitive?"

She shrugged. "I don't know, but I certainly can't tell him to get over it and resume our relationship."

"I don't see why not; he's just being ridiculous."

"Well maybe it's not ridiculous to him," she retorted. "I don't know why it bothered him the way it did, he wouldn't talk to me about it so what am I supposed to do?"

Sharon looked at her incredulously. "Oh I don't know, how about anything but nothing?" she exclaimed. "Why do you do this? All of the energy you put into getting him to date you and the first time he gets cold feet you just let him end it all without even trying to stop it. I don't understand you sometimes."

"The feeling is mutual," Johanna said pointedly. "I'm not going to force him to stay with me if it isn't what he wants. What do you want me to do? Get down on my hands and knees and beg him? I'm not begging…and I did all of my fighting back in May; I'm not going through that again. He knows where I am if he wants to come back; until then…it's just something I have to deal with, work through, and make my peace with."

Her secretary shook her head. "Sometimes I feel like you've changed, Jo."

She held her gaze. "Sometimes I feel like you have."

Sharon shrugged. "I don't think I've changed…I think I just handle things better than you do. Phil and I have been together a good while and we've never had as much drama as you and Jim…and you've only been with Jim for a few months."

Johanna scoffed. "Seriously? You and Phil have broken up before. The two of you have had your issues and don't tell me otherwise because I'm the one who listened to you cry about them. Don't let the wedding cloud your head, Sharon; you and Phil have had plenty of drama and there's probably more to come in the future."

Sharon's eyes narrowed slightly. "Maybe we have had some issues, but they've never been on par with what you and Jim go through. You two make everything worse than you need to. Why do you over complicate things?"

"Gee, I don't know, Sharon; it's possible we do it just to annoy you," she replied sarcastically.

"Don't get bitchy," her friend retorted.

Johanna eyed her. "My moods are limited this week, Sharon; there's professional, there's okay and there's bitchy…which one you get depends on which button you push when you drop your coin into the slot. You seem to be leaning on the bitch switch at the moment by insinuating that I don't know how to handle things and that I like things in my life to be complicated."

"Maybe you do like it complicated, maybe that's why it keeps happening…and you don't handle things well. If you really wanted to keep this break up from happening you would've fought harder. Since when did you become a quitter? Why didn't you just ask him what you've been doing wrong to make him want to flee already?"

The accusation that she had driven Jim away made her flinch as if she had been slapped. "Everything was fine between Jim and I until you made your comments about marriage."

Sharon shook her head. "It might've looked fine but obviously something somewhere was going wrong or he wouldn't have dumped you over a few stupid remarks about marriage…so what did you do, Jo?"

"I didn't do anything except play along with all of you at the bar," she said, her voice low and tight with tension as she struggled to keep hold of her temper. "That is the only fault I bear in this. He clearly has something to work out and I'm giving him the freedom to do it. If he wants to come back, he will."

"Not if he thinks you don't care."

"He knows I care…there's no way he can sit beside me most of the day in court and not know that I'm affected by this. He knows…he knows better than you do."

The phone on Sharon's desk rang as they stared at each other, their friendship suddenly seeming to be teetering precariously. Johanna held her gaze. "Go answer the phone; it could be one of my clients…and I won't have them saying I can't do my job because my secretary can't handle answering the phone."

Sharon smirked at her. "Touché, Johanna."

Johanna smiled coolly. "You're still leaning on the switch, Sharon."

The secretary shrugged as she stepped across the threshold and back into her own office space. "I don't move until I'm ready; you know that."

"And you should know that I don't either."

"Obviously," Sharon answered before switching her focus to her job.

Johanna blew out a breath and turned her attention back to the documents on her desk. It looked like things were going to stay off balance between her and Sharon for awhile longer. She also didn't think she was wrong in the way she was handling things with Jim.


"What's wrong, Jimmy?" Robert asked as he sat across the table from his son at the diner where they had met for lunch that day.

"Nothing, why?" he answered.

"You seem like something's bothering you, son."

"I'm fine," Jim remarked as he took a bite of his sandwich.

Robert wasn't fooled. His son was too quiet and his food wasn't disappearing as fast as it usually did. He decided to take a shot in the dark. "How's Johanna?"

He shrugged, his gaze remaining locked on his plate. "She's alright I guess."

"You guess?" his father asked. "You don't know?"

Jim took a long sip of his soda, figuring that he may as well confess. "We broke up."

Robert's eyes widened in surprise at the revelation. "Why?"

"It just wasn't working out."

"I kind of find that hard to believe when the two of you are always together. You just went on vacation not long ago and from what I've heard from your unwanted guests, the two of you were all about each other."

He shrugged. "Things happen."

"May I ask who broke up with whom?"

"We had a fight; she told me if I wanted out of the relationship that I knew where the door was. I told her it wasn't working out and I left, end of story."

Robert picked up his cup of coffee and took a sip. "Jimmy, why do you feel like it isn't working out?"

"Because it's not," Jim retorted. "She wants more than I'm willing to give right now."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning marriage," he said sharply.

His father eyed him. "Johanna came right out and asked you to marry her?"

"No."

"I didn't think so. What makes you think she wants marriage?"

Jim blew out an aggravated breath and told him what happened.

"Son, I think she was joking…she even said so," Robert stated.

"Yeah, well, I think there's a grain of truth in it. She pushed to move on from friends to dating; I gave in. Now she's going to push for marriage. We've only been together a few months and she's already trying to jump ahead again."

"If I recall correctly and I'm sure I do; you and Johanna have joked about marriage before."

"Well this is now and I'm not joking."

Robert weighed the situation carefully. "If you feel so strongly about not getting married anytime in the near future, why didn't you just tell her how you feel instead of ending things?"

"Because I tried that approach before," Jim replied. "Last summer when we talked about our relationship we agreed that we weren't ready for more but that things could change someday. Nine months later she's demanding a commitment. I gave it to her and it's still not enough."

"Why are you so convinced that she wasn't joking? Don't you think you might be convicting her without a fair trial?"

Jim shrugged. "I just feel like it's her next move and that pretending to think it's only a joke is only going to buy me so much time before it's a real demand."

"You don't have a lot of faith in her, do you?" Robert asked.

His head snapped up. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that knowing her as well as you claim to, does she really seem like the type of woman who would rush into marriage?"

"I think all women are secretly mining for a diamond," Jim remarked.

Robert sighed. "You know, Jimmy; she didn't wait nine months for you to make a commitment to her; she waited years…so why wouldn't she wait a little longer for marriage? You're trying to say you were essentially forced into this relationship…and yet you've seemed pretty happy in it…probably the happiest I've seen you in a long time. Were you pretending to be happy with her?"

"No," he said gruffly. "I was happy. I didn't lie when I told her that I love her, I do…but it feels like it isn't enough; that everything's moving too fast. It's not just the jokes from her and our friends; it's you and Mom too."

Surprise colored his father's features. "Me and your mother? What do we have to do with it?"

"A lot of things," he said sharply. "All I get to do is listen to her bitch about me being with Johanna and telling me I better not marry her, how she won't stand for it; and I can just imagine what kind of hell we'd both have to deal with from her if we did get married. And then there's you, and you're always telling me to settle down and marry her when we've only been together for a few months. Well maybe I'm not ready to get married."

"Jim; I never told you to run out and get married right this instant. All I ever said was that you should think about settling down and that Johanna was a good woman to do that with. She loves you and you love her and the two of you seemed to have a strong relationship. I was only supporting your relationship and letting you know that if Johanna was the woman you wanted to marry that I'd approve; not that you need my approval but you'd have it just the same."

"I got your vote of approval before we started dating."

"Son, if I put some kind of pressure on you to get married and it's led to you ending this relationship; I'm very sorry. That's not something I ever wanted. You're my son, I love you and want you to be happy; I saw that Johanna made you happy and wanted to encourage you to hang on to her. I know your mother gives you both a hard time about your relationship and maybe I was trying to balance things out. You once told your mother that you'd marry Johanna if you wanted to so I assumed that the thought that this might be heading down that road had entered your mind from time to time."

It had, but Jim wasn't about to admit that. The knowledge that it had entered his mind a time or two was just more proof that things were moving too fast.

"As for your mother; you shouldn't let her get into your head to the point that you'd give up something you love just to shut her up. You let her win when you do that; and that's why she keeps being the way she is, because in little small ways, you all give in on one thing or another. If you love Johanna and want to be with her, you should be. If you want to marry her one day, do it. It doesn't have to be this month or this year; but if it's what you want, you should have it."

"Maybe I don't want it," he muttered. "Maybe I don't want to end up like you."

Robert's brow rose. "Excuse me?"

"Come on, Dad; you know how Mom is; every year she gets a little worse. I can't imagine that she's always been this way; she had to have started out normal at some point or you wouldn't have married her. Marriage had to have changed her…and if that's what women turn into, I'm not sure I want to sign up for the life sentence."

Robert leaned back in the booth, eyeing his son sternly. "Everyone changes through the years, Jimmy; it's called maturing. Your mother is fundamentally the same as she was when I met her. Has age and children made her a little more stern and reserved? Yes. But that doesn't happen to everyone. We have our issues at times; we fight, we don't always see eye to eye. She's a little high strung and I'm more laid back…and maybe there's sides of both of us that you don't get to see because we only share them with each other; but we love each other; always have, through the good and the bad. I might tease her at times about trading her in, but I never would and I don't view her as a life sentence. If you view marriage that way, then you're right to cut that girl loose and avoid it at all costs because neither one of you deserve that kind of relationship. Johanna isn't anything like your mother; she may change in small ways through the years as she gets older and wiser, but I'm sure it wouldn't be anything you'd mind or couldn't handle."

Jim felt like he had been scolded and he avoided his father's gaze in regard to that feeling. "Maybe I'm not ready for it."

"I don't think anyone asked you to be; it's something you convinced yourself of," Robert remarked. "But it's your life, if you feel like things aren't working between you and Johanna and you no longer want to be in that relationship then you were right to end it. It wouldn't be fair to string her along if your heart wasn't fully in it. I think maybe you could've set her down and said 'hey, even if you were just joking, I want you to know that I'm not going to be ready to discuss a real marriage anytime soon' and then maybe you could've held on to her a little longer until you were more sure about whether she was the one of not. I'm not saying you were wrong to end things; I'd hope it wasn't a decision you made lightly. Maybe it is for the best that you two part ways; if she is looking for marriage, then she can move on and find someone to give her what she wants and needs and you can do the same. Seems like you two just can't figure out what to do with yourselves so maybe you can figure it out without each other," Robert remarked; hoping a change of attitude might get through to his son in a better way.

The thought of her moving on and marrying someone else at some point felt like a sucker punch to the gut. He didn't want her marrying someone else…he just wasn't sure they should be thinking about something so serious…things had gotten so very serious so quickly. A part of him felt like he had just suddenly needed to slam on the brakes and reevaluate things before he dove into something that they might not be ready for even if he hadn't had any plans for proposing.

He also had to admit that his father's comments about it being for the best that they split had stung a little. Jim figured the man was tired of listening to his troubles about Johanna all the time. He was always dumping his burdens at his feet and quietly asking him to help sort it out when he should be doing it himself. He needed to learn to keep his mouth shut…especially if things had gotten to the point where his father felt that breaking up with Johanna had been the right thing to do…because he wasn't all that sure that it had been.

Jim looked at the half of sandwich that remained on his plate and his stomach felt sour at the thought of eating it. He left it laying there and finished off his soda instead. His problems needed to be kept to himself; then he wouldn't have to listen to things he didn't want to hear…like the idea of Johanna being another man's wife. It just seemed so very wrong. He wasn't ready yet to think about the bigger picture of getting married…it sometimes popped up in his mind once in awhile in the early mornings when she was snuggled up against him and the thought always terrified him a little. It was too soon to be thinking of it.

He took some money from his pocket and tossed it on the table. "I'm going to head back to the courthouse, Dad. I have some things to look over. I'll see you around."

"Jimmy," Robert said as his son rose from the booth.

"Yeah?"

"Are you really afraid that you aren't ready to get married…or are you afraid that maybe you are?"

His lips parted to speak but no words came out; it was hard to deny something that he wasn't completely sure he knew the answer to.

"Maybe that's a question you should think about, son," Robert said as he held his gaze. "Think about it long and hard…and then if you really love her and want to be with her, without rushing into a marriage that she hasn't asked for, then go talk to her and see if you can work things out. I have a feeling she'll take you back once she understands how you're feeling. That's one of the good qualities a majority of women have; they're willing to listen, you just have to be willing to talk."

Jim gave the expected nod; knowing the question would plague his mind all day no matter what. "See you later, Dad."

"Bye, Jimmy…think about it."

"I will," he said quietly before walking away. What choice did he have now that it was out there?


By the time court ended for the day, Johanna was ready to scream. They had run into a few issues with the case and not only had it been annoying as hell but she and Jim had argued about the best way to handle things. To top it all off, their client had added his two cents to their argument, remarking that women were too damn hardheaded for their own good and it always caused grief for everyone around them. In the end, Jim vetoed her suggestions and handled things his way.

It wasn't that his ways were wrong, she just felt like they were more difficult to pull off. In her experience, simpler maneuvers caught people off guard and caused them to slip up more quickly and you gained what you needed from them in half the time and effort. He wouldn't even consider doing it her way…and Mr. Collins had encouraged him to side against her. She tried to shrug it off but with the multitude of feelings already coursing through her, she couldn't keep herself from feeling angry.

Johanna roughly shoved files into her briefcase, one of them sliding from her fingers and hitting the floor. She and Jim both reached for it at the same time, their heads smacking together. They both yelped and jerked apart, the file remaining on the floor until Johanna recovered enough to grab it, one hand rubbing the spot on her head where it had collided with Jim's.

"Sorry," Jim muttered as their gazes met.

"It's fine; I've heard that I have a hardhead anyway," she replied; her voice harsher than she intended.

"Going against you wasn't anything personal, Johanna," he remarked.

The words slipped from her lips before she could stop them. "I'm surprised you didn't say that when you dumped me."

Tension tightened the line of his jaw but he said nothing in response, taking the jab, figuring she had probably earned the right.

"I'm sorry," Johanna remarked. "I didn't mean to say that out loud. As for my head, I already had a headache anyway; don't worry about it."

"It really wasn't anything personal," Jim said once more.

She forced herself not to scoff. Everything felt personal when it came from your ex...a person who knew you intimately. The acknowledgement that he was now her ex hit her harder than the bump to her head; a wave of emotion crashing over her. She squeezed her eyes shut, forcing back the tears, forcing herself not to whisper, "why did you change your mind about us?"

Every time she thought she had a handle on the pain it sprang back up and slapped her in her face; making her crumble all over again. She told him that she wouldn't fight him on it…she respected his wishes for it to be done…but that didn't make it any easier…and being forced to be so close to him so soon after the demise of their relationship only made things so much harder.

"I can't wait for this to be over," she murmured softly without meaning to say it aloud.

"What?" Jim asked as he leaned closer to hear her words. When she turned her face in his direction, their lips were only mere inches apart and it felt like the world held still as her stomach dipped and her heart skipped a beat…her silly, overly optimistic heart. They seemed to be frozen in time, neither one of them moving as the tension and longing crackled between them. She swallowed hard, wondering if she should be bold and close that miniscule gap between them and brush her lips against his.

Jim was having the same war of thoughts as his gaze dipped to her lips…glossy red lips that were begging to be kissed. He breathed in the soft scent of her perfume, his hands itching to touch her. He closed his eyes, longing and desire sweeping through him. Her knee bumped his as her foot tapped nervously against the floor and it forced his eyes back open, his gaze meeting her green eyes and drowning in them for a moment. It was too much…just too much. He hadn't sorted anything out yet. He was still flip flopping on whether he had done the right thing. He jerked away from her, breaking the spell they had been under. "See you tomorrow," he muttered as he went back to packing up his belongings.

Johanna's heart fell; a new bruise spreading across her soul. For a moment she thought it was going to happen; that he'd kiss her…that it would open the door. Wrong again. She just didn't learn…she just kept allowing herself to get burned. She grabbed her briefcase and purse and bolted away from the table, needing to flee quickly before the tears broke free.

Remorse filled him as he watched Johanna bolt from the courtroom. He just couldn't seem to stop hurting her; he thought to himself as he walked slowly up the aisle to make his own exit; hoping to avoid sharing the elevator with her. Being too close to her clouded his thoughts more than they already were. When he stepped into the hallway, he saw her waiting for the elevator. Her gaze shifted to him as if she felt his stare and he saw the tears glimmering in her eyes. She turned away and walked a few steps to the door leading to the stairs, pushing it open and slipping through it, disappearing from his view. He sighed, a headache of his own forming above his eyes. He couldn't wait for this to be over either.


Maggie watched as Johanna sliced them each a piece of cake the next evening. "Doing a lot of baking?" she asked as Johanna put the plates on the table. She had spotted a container of fudge on the counter and the kitchen smelled like fresh baked cookies.

"I haven't been sleeping well," Johanna replied as she picked up her glass of wine.

"You bake when you can't sleep? I usually read…or if Jeff's staying with me, I wake him up and make him talk to me."

She laughed. "I bet he likes that."

Maggie grinned. "We've had some very interesting conversations when he's more asleep than awake…one of them was about how I couldn't name his monkey."

Johanna nearly choked on her drink as she burst into giggles. "His monkey?"

"Yeah…apparently in whatever dream he was having, he had acquired a pet monkey and I wasn't allowed to name it."

She continued to laugh, unable to get the image out of her mind, Maggie's giggles mingling with hers. "Did he ever name the monkey?" she asked.

Maggie nodded. "He named him Floyd."

"Floyd!"

"Yes; Floyd the monkey…oh wait, by then, he was insisting I address him properly as an orangutan; because Floyd might be offended by being addressed as just a 'monkey'."

"Oh my God," Johanna said as she tried to get her laughter under control. "Does he know about this conversation; because I would love to ask him how Floyd is?"

Maggie laughed. "Oh he knows, I couldn't let that one go. Please ask him about it…do it while I'm there to watch."

"I will, you just watch. As for me, I try to watch TV or read when I can't sleep, but after awhile some of the networks start signing off and I don't have much concentration for reading lately. It's like I'm conserving all of my focus for work…so I bake."

"Was court any better today?" Maggie asked, recalling the details she had learned from Johanna the night before when they had talked on the phone.

She swallowed her bite of cake and breathed deeply. "Case wise, things were better. Jim wise…not so much."

"No more near misses?"

"No…in fact I think he ignored me more today than he has been…or maybe I should say it was a more 'felt' avoidance…and that's saying something."

Her friend nodded as she picked up a bite of cake with her fork. "That's because he still wants you."

"Then why won't he just talk to me?" Johanna wondered out loud. "The whole thing feels so ridiculous and I feel like everything is out of my control. I hate this. I hate having to be so close to him with the way things are. If things stay like this between us, we're not going to be able to work together anymore. It's too difficult and awkward."

"I know it's hard," Maggie replied; "But either way, time will make it easier."

"I hope so. I dread going to work. I don't want to be in court with him…and yet on the other hand, I do want to be near him in case his mood shifts and the opportunity to fix things springs to life."

"I understand that…I wish he'd just talk to you too because I'm sure it could be worked out."

"Tell him that," Johanna remarked as she stabbed her fork back into her cake.

Maggie eyed her seriously. "Don't think for a moment that I won't."

She smiled. "I know...can I ask you something?"

"Always."

Johanna met her eye. "Do you think I'm handling things with Jim the wrong way?"

She shook her head. "No; I don't think you're doing anything wrong. You offered him his freedom and he took it so you're allowing him to have it. Do you feel like you're doing something wrong?"

"No…but Sharon seems to think I'm handling it wrong. Hell, to hear her talk yesterday, I handle my whole life wrong. She has a much better relationship than I do."

Maggie scoffed. "Oh please, her and Phil argue all the time, they've broken up before, she doesn't need to act like their relationship has been all sunshine and lollipops because it hasn't. I remember quite a few lunches when we sat and listened to her bitch about him. Don't pay any attention to her. What does she want you to do, beg? You already did all the hard work back in May; this one is on Jim."

"She seemed to be insinuating that I should chase after him…but I already did that. I don't want to have to do that every time I turn around. I thought maybe if I backed off and kept to my word, he'd take some time and sort himself out and come back…so far he hasn't…maybe he won't…but I feel like I'd just be making things worse if I kept pushing."

"Personally, in this case, I feel like that's true," Maggie agreed. "I think it would only make him run further because then he'd feel certain you have an agenda regarding your future with him."

"Exactly; I don't want him getting that message in his head."

"Just do what feels right for you, Jo. Don't let Sharon get in your head. I feel like the closer this wedding gets the more uppity she's getting."

Johanna nodded. "You noticed too?"

"Oh yeah; definitely. Did she speak to you today or is she back to giving the cold shoulder?"

"We talked, but we avoided conversations about my relationship or lack there of. Today's main topic was finding a nail polish color to go with our dresses for the wedding.'

Maggie swallowed a bite of cake. "It's going to be hard to match something to that dark green."

"I know, that's what I told her. I think we'll probably have to go with a creamy white color for nail polish. I don't think anything else will look right."

"A soft creamy white would work," her friend agreed; "That way it's not distracting to anyone. I wish she would've gone with the red dresses; they were so pretty."

"Me too; I thought they were the best."

"Has she made up her mind about how we're doing our hair?" Maggie asked.

"No, not really; she's leaning toward having us wear our hair up but she's not sure. We need to get her bridal shower planned soon too."

"Any ideas?"

"I want it to be fun," Johanna replied. "Or at the very least, relaxing. So many of these things end up being stuffy and somewhat dry…I want to do something better for her."

"I guess we could make it more a party than a shower," Maggie suggested.

"I was thinking that too…she loves to dance; what if we had it at one of the smaller clubs that rents out spaces for events? We'd have music and dancing; some of them offer specials on drinks for parties and we could have food brought it. We could add other little touches to the plan as we work on it."

"I think it sounds good," Maggie replied. "We could even have a dinner before hand and then go to the club for the more 'party' type vibe, in case any of her older family members or friends want to skip that part. We could still bring in food to the party; like cupcakes and smaller, snack type items."

Johanna nodded. "I like it, that sounds good. Then it's like a whole evening event and that would be great for her."

"We can go check places out this weekend, if you want."

"Yeah; that's a good idea; we'll start getting things organized and I'll ask her tomorrow when she wants to have it so we'll have a date to work with."

Maggie's head bobbed in response. "Personally I think she should've set the wedding date for Halloween…then we could come in costume."

Johanna laughed. "Yeah; I could dig out mine from last year and be the witch of honor."

Her friend giggled. "I want to be a witch too!"

"We could've made the whole bridal party witches."

"And Phil could've worn his bunny suit."

Johanna laughed. "That would've been a sight to behold…Bride Sharon and Bunny Phil."

"Match made in heaven."

"It's too bad she didn't want to do that; a costume wedding could've been fun."

"Maybe I'll do it for mine," Maggie remarked, scooping up the last bite of her cake.

Johanna froze for a split second; her heart faltering at the thought of yet another friend getting married. "Did Jeff propose?" she asked, doing her best to keep her voice normal.

The other woman shook her head. "No; but I'm hoping one day he does."

"Well, take my advice and don't make any jokes about it to him…he might get upset like Jim," she said lightly.

"Oh don't worry, I won't," Maggie said with a laugh. "I'm just quietly waiting and hoping that maybe one day he'll want to get married. I'm not in any hurry right now though; I'm fine with how things are between us…although I have a feeling that if we ever do get married, we'll elope."

"Why?"

"Because of my Dad," she answered. "He's so hard on Jeff and I hate it."

"Jeff's mentioned that your dad doesn't like him," Johanna replied. "He said it's because he wasn't in the military."

Maggie nodded. "Dad wants his daughters married to military men…I told him he couldn't pay me enough to marry a man in the service. I spent a good part of my childhood being uprooted every time we turned around because he was being stationed somewhere else. I don't like living like a gypsy and neither did my sister and youngest brother. We bounced between New York and every corner of the world. When I was 13, my sister Mary was 15 and my brother Todd was 10; we were living in Kentucky; we liked it there; we were there for two years and we had settled in, made friends…again…and then he comes home and says we're going to Japan. Mary said she wasn't going…and Todd and I said the same thing. Our grandmother had come to Kentucky to see us and we asked her if we could move back to New York with her. It was a big war…but in the end, Mary, Todd and I moved back home with Grandma. Mom and my two oldest brothers went to Japan with Dad…Mom, John and Billy were back six months later, Mom couldn't stand it anymore…we didn't move with him anymore after that. Mom said she was tired of living that life…she wanted stability. It's what I want too…no more roaming. I just want to be here in New York."

"But your father is stubborn, right?" Johanna asked.

"Yeah; he's always complaining about Jeff's lack of service and it's stupid. I don't care that Jeff wasn't in the military…more specifically, the war. I'm glad he wasn't. Jeff and Jim and half the guys we know were in college, thankfully. You know, Dad basically ordered John to follow in his footsteps and go into the service; he went to Vietnam…he was wounded, thankfully he survived, but he's never really been the same, you know? That place, what he saw and went through, it took a toll on him. He's not the happy, laid back guy he used to be. We lost a cousin over there…I'm glad for the ones that didn't have to go and be put through that."

Johanna nodded. "We lost a cousin on my mom's side over there too. Mom was always terrified that Frankie would be drafted…I worried about it too, honestly. I didn't want my brother going over there…you're right, a lot of people came back and they weren't the same and I didn't want to see that happen to him…or worse. Dad always told us that Frankie could never be drafted because he was his only son…I don't know if that's true or not and I guess I didn't want to know. I just wanted to believe it. I don't know if that or him being in school kept him out of it but I was glad he didn't get a letter."

Maggie debated telling her the truth, that she did know of only sons who had been drafted but the war was over and she didn't want her to worry about it should it ever happen again. It was best for her friend to believe what her father had told her; best for her mother too. "My father thinks it's such a great life," she said quietly; "And while it's noble and wonderful that we have so many brave people who go out and defend our country…its not easy for the families. We were always moving, always leaving friends and homes behind; we'd get to know someone and he'd go off to war and not come back. We saw military wives getting the news about their husbands…I don't ever want to be in that position."

"I don't blame you," Johanna told her. "Jeff's a wonderful man; what he hasn't done in his life shouldn't matter."

"No it shouldn't; he's successful and good at what he does. He's smart and loving and funny…he's everything I could hope for…and Dad just rakes him over the coals. Even John told him to lay off; that Jeff was lucky he didn't have to go over there and be tormented for the rest of his life with the memories. Dad says it makes a man out of them…don't get me wrong, I love my Dad…but I think all it's done for him is make him uppity; he thinks he's better than everyone else and he ends up behaving like an ass and it's embarrassing."

"What about your mom?"

"She loves Jeff," Maggie replied. "He makes her laugh; she treats him like another one of her kids. She always wants me to bring him over…and it's always a fight to get him there; not because of her, Jeff's very good to my mom and he likes her, it's because he doesn't want to put up with Dad."

Johanna shook her head. "Fathers…they're just trouble."

"Yeah they are…but then again, they are men…and aren't all men trouble at one time or another?"

"Most definitely," she replied, clinking her wine glass against Maggie's. "Why we get mixed up with them, I don't know."

Her friend laughed. "It's a question women everywhere have been pondering since the beginning of time."

"True," Johanna remarked. "I just wish the one I love would learn to behave himself."

"He'll be back," Maggie said confidently. "He misses you, I know he does. Once he gets sorted out, you can get back to subtly training him to be better."

Johanna laughed. "We have to undo the damage their mothers did."

"It's a dirty job, but I guess someone has to do it."

"Yeah…when they let us."

Maggie patted her hand. "Don't worry, everything will get straightened out. It'll be okay."

"I hope so," she murmured. "I think I miss him more every day…there's this big hole in my life all of a sudden and I just want him back. I know I have to wait but it's not easy."

"I know…but it'll be worth it when he finds his way back."

Johanna gave a slight nod of agreement and finished off her wine. She hoped that moment was coming soon.


Jim hit the pool balls with a little more force than necessary, scattering the balls all over the table and only managing to sink one into a side pocket.

"Who are you mad at today?" Jeff asked. "Yourself, Johanna or both?"

Jim shrugged and picked up his bottle of beer from the side of the table. "If you want the truth, I kind of feel mad at the whole world right now but I'm not really sure why."

"I think I know why," his friend replied. "It's because you, for some unfathomable reason, allowed a few comments and stupid jokes to convince you that your girlfriend was pushing you down the aisle of a church to strap the ole ball and chain on you…which in turn made you dump her…which is why you're cranky."

"Thank you for your diagnosis, Dr. Campbell," Jim said sarcastically.

Jeff smiled. "Being the good doctor that I am, I know a cure for what ails you."

"What's that?"

"Go talk to Jo," he suggested as he lined up his shot.

"No," Jim replied; raising his bottle for another sip.

"Why not? It would be better than hanging around bars all the time because you don't know what to do with yourself without her."

"I haven't been hanging around bars all the time," he retorted. "I've only gone out a couple times. I've been home and I've found other things to do."

Jeff nodded. "Living it up now that those strings have been cut?"

Jim shot him a glare before taking his turn. "I wouldn't say that."

"If you think that I believe for a minute that you don't miss her, you're crazy."

"I didn't say that I don't miss her," he remarked. "I do."

"Funny choice of words for a man who dumped his girlfriend because of 'I do' type jokes."

"You've already mentioned that," Jim said with a glare. "Don't be an ass."

"But I'm so good at it," Jeff replied with a grin. "At least that's what Mags tells me."

"I know all about what an ass you are; I've known you longer than she has. I lived in a dorm room with you."

"Those were good times," his friend said. "Remember when we got arrested?"

Jim laughed. "How could I forget? It was fun…but I am glad that Michael came and bailed us out."

"Me too…I'm also glad they dropped the charges."

"Yeah," he agreed. "I think that was the last time we snuck into someone's house."

Jeff gave a nod. "It was our last high speed chase too."

"It was also the night we decided not to date twins anymore."

"Yeah," Jeff replied. "It's too bad we didn't know that their father was a police captain before we climbed in that window."

Jim laughed. "It's a wonder we didn't kill ourselves jumping back out of it…it wasn't a short jump."

"I'm surprised we didn't kill ourselves when you took that curve on two wheels," Jeff laughed as he grabbed his beer.

"We were lucky…but it was fun."

"It sure was," Jeff stated. "I wonder whatever happened to those twins."

"I don't know but you couldn't pay me enough to go near them."

"Me neither."

They each took another turn at their game, silence falling for a few minutes before Jeff struck up the conversation once more. "Why don't you go talk to Jo?"

"And say what?"

"That you want her back."

Jim was silent, his heart echoing Jeff's statement. It wasn't that he didn't want Johanna; he did…he just wasn't sure what to do or what to think. Everything had gotten so jumbled, everything had suddenly seemed to be moving so fast and was so serious. Everyone seemed to be pressuring him to get married…and yet Johanna had been keeping her word. She hadn't once asked him to reconsider…she let him go and didn't try to stop him.

"She hasn't even tried to talk about it," Jim said as he took his next shot.

"Would you talk about it if she brought it up or would you shut her down?"

"I don't know….I'd probably remind her that she said she wouldn't stop me. But it's odd that she hasn't tried."

"Maybe she's just trying to show you that she respects what you need and want. Maybe she's willing to give you some time and space to sort things out."

His gut tightened as another option occurred to him. "Maybe she doesn't care; maybe she's tired of waiting on me to make up my mind all the time."

Jeff shook his head. "That's not true at all. If she didn't care she wouldn't have been on the phone crying to Maggie last night."

Jim's gaze jerked toward his best friend at the comment. "She was crying?"

He nodded. "Yeah; from what I gathered by casually eavesdropping, and you better not tell Maggie I'm giving you insider info, apparently you and Jo had some sort of 'moment' after court yesterday. One of those she was hoping you'd kiss her and put her out of her misery moments…that then might turn into a conversation; but you backed out."

He sighed heavily. "Sounds about right."

"So why didn't you just kiss her and make up?" Jeff asked.

"I just feel like I can't right now. I haven't figured anything out."

"Did it ever occur to you that you might not be able to figure it out without Johanna?"

Jim paused for a minute as he chalked his cue stick. The thought hadn't really occurred to him; he had been so convinced that he had to cut ties to get back on track. "No, I guess I haven't considered it; but I know what she'd say. She'd say she was only joking, that she didn't mean anything by it, that she's not looking to get married…but we all know that all women are looking to get married. After all, that same sort of pushing is how we ended up dating."

"She didn't put a gun to your head, Jim. If you didn't want to date her then you should've just let her go back in May and been done with it altogether, but you wanted her…you wouldn't even consider letting it be over; so why change now? Why throw that up as evidence when it's clearly something you wanted too but were hoping you could have without the strings? You and Jo have been pretty damn happy together and don't lie and tell me otherwise because I won't believe you for a minute. I know you; I know when you're happy…and you're happiest when you're with her. You love her."

"I know that," he replied.

"Then stop this and put both of you out of your misery. Let's finish our game and our drinks and then you go see Jo and talk to her; work things out and get back together. She's home; Maggie's with her, they're having a little girls night, I'm going to pick her up later; you could just follow me over."

"It's nice of you to let her monopolize Maggie lately," Jim stated, ignoring the suggestion of going over.

Jeff looked at him oddly. "Johanna isn't monopolizing Maggie; I see her all the time. They're friends, if they want to have some girl time together that's fine with me; no matter what's going on in their lives. They need their time just like we do."

"I know that; I wasn't implying there was anything wrong with it…it just seems like from what I've been hearing from you that Jo's been sticking close to Maggie."

"Maggie's her friend; she needs some support and comforting right now because some doofus who shall remain nameless dumped her. You know they have lunch together at least once a week and do girl stuff on Saturdays, usually with Sharon too; and they've always talked on the phone. What's the matter, are you afraid Maggie's giving Jo ideas on ways to torment you?"

"I wouldn't put it past her," he replied; "And really I didn't mean to imply that there was anything wrong with the girls hanging out. I'm glad they're good friends…I am surprised though that Sharon doesn't have Jo set up for lunch dates everyday."

Jeff shook his head. "Jo doesn't want any part of that; besides, things are little rocky between her and Sharon."

Jim looked at him in surprise. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about how they're not on the greatest terms since last week. Jo accused Sharon of being part of the reason you dumped her because Sharon's the one who started that marriage business at the bar that night. Sharon got royally pissed about it and they're not really talking much. You'd know these things if you'd stop being a coward and hiding in your office because you're afraid you'll run into Jo."

"I've been seeing her in court every day, that's more than enough," he said gruffly.

"You should've just kissed her yesterday and told her that you were ready to get back together."

"I don't want to talk about it anymore," Jim replied.

His friend turned his attention to the pool table and set up his next shot without a word. They played the game in silence for several minutes before Jim spoke; the words slipping from his mouth before he could stop them. "Does Maggie say how she is?"

Jeff glanced at him. "She's hurting but she's okay…she cries, but she's doing her best to be fine with how things are. She doesn't want it to be over; she only let you go because it was what you wanted. She didn't want to try to hold you when you wanted out. She's not happy, not by a long shot; but she's as okay as she can be for now. I think she'll feel better once she doesn't have to work on that case with you anymore; that's what's keeping the wound open; she has to sit next to you everyday and it takes a toll."

"It's not all that easy for me either," he retorted.

"Hey; you asked me how she is, I'm telling you," Jeff remarked. "And like I said, don't go telling Maggie I'm giving you insider info."

"I'm not telling Maggie anything. All I was saying is that it isn't easy for me to sit beside her every day either."

His friend nodded. "Guilt creeps up, doesn't it?"

Jim took a drink of his beer. "Among other things."

"No one is trying to force you to get married, Jim; in fact, as your best friend, if it'll make you feel better, I forbid you to get married until you're good and damn ready; okay?"

He gave a short laugh. "Yeah; sure."

Jeff eyed him. "So; how about you go see Jo after we finish the game?"

Jim shook his head. "No…I don't think I should. I'd only end up making things worse and she's going to say whatever I want to hear; I know her…she'll say what I want just to make me happy."

"What's wrong with that?"

"It has a way of biting me in the ass."

"Seems like most things you do bite you in the ass."

"Yeah; I wish there was a cure for that," Jim replied.

"There is," Jeff remarked. "Quit being a dumb ass."

He laughed. "There's the pot calling the kettle black."

"Hey; I never said I didn't have dumb ass moments; I have plenty of them. I'm just willing to fix them when I realize it. You need to learn to do that more quickly."

"I'll put it on my to-do list," Jim remarked. "And for what it's worth, it doesn't make me feel good to know that I hurt Johanna…or that she's been crying. I do still love her, you know. That hasn't changed."

"I know; I just wish the two of you weren't going through this because things seemed to be pretty good between you. I really don't think she was trying to push you in to anything; she was just playing…and if you ever do get back together, I doubt she'll ever play along with a joke again. I'm sure she's learned her lesson."

Jim took another swallow of his beer. Johanna might've learned a lesson, but he still didn't have his head sorted out. It was just as difficult for him as it was for her; maybe worse because he had to carry the guilt of knowing that he hurt her no matter how many brave fronts she put on in front of everyone. He wished it could be as easy as Jeff and Robert had suggested but it wasn't. He had wanted to kiss her so badly the day before in the courtroom and he had hated himself all night for not doing so…for being the reason that tears had shimmered in her eyes as she turned away from the elevator and took the stairs to get away. It wasn't easy to live with…it wasn't enjoyable, and yet he felt like he had no choice but to leave things as they were for the moment.


The next morning, Johanna stood in the break room, bracing herself for another day of awkwardness with Jim. It had been a week now, she thought to herself as she stirred cream into her coffee. A long, frustrating, lonely week. To make it worse, Wednesdays were the nights he had been staying at her place ever since they had gotten together. It was an added ache to carry. It felt odd to know that she couldn't look forward to him going home with her after work that day…just as it had been odd not to have him to go home with over the weekend.

Johanna sighed deeply; having him go home with her was a midweek pick me up. In between meetings and court appearances, she would've been planning what to make for dinner for them. She would've been looking forward to his company while she cooked…she would've enjoyed seeing him across the table as they chatted while they ate. It was always cozy and she enjoyed those dinners at home just as much as their evenings out. She liked curling up with him on the couch as they watched TV; liked their talks and how he made her laugh. It always felt so good when they settled down for the night together…when he filled that vacant space in her bed; his arms warm and inviting. There was always a goodnight kiss…and more often than not, that kiss would turn into love making. Longing swept through her; what she wouldn't give to have their usual Wednesday night…but then she remembered that Jim had accused her of playing house because she had wanted to have their usual evening the week before…she frowned; she hadn't thought of it in the way he had, but maybe it was playing house…she hadn't meant to behave like a wife; her only intention had been to enjoy the private time they had together. Why was that so wrong?

She took a long sip of her coffee, hoping the caffeine would ease the tension headache she could feel building and that the hot liquid would somehow wash away the melancholy feelings that were coursing through her body. Damn him. Why did he always have to tease her? It had been a long dance to reach the dating phase…and when she finally got him on the same page with her, they had built what seemed like a stable happy relationship that she could see lasting for a good while…he teased her with how good it could be…and then he changed his mind and shattered her heart. It wasn't fair.

Johanna's hands curled tightly around her mug. She wished she could hate him. She wished she could just scream at him and tell him to get over it as Sharon had suggested. She wished that she could just grab a hold of him and shake him until his scattered brain cells settled back into place. Why did he have to do this? They were happy…it couldn't have been an act. She felt the sting of emotion in her eyes and quickly blinked it back as she heard voices approaching the break room.

Maggie and Jeff entered the room and Johanna tried not to grimace at the sight of the happy couple as they held hands. She hated feeling slightly jealous of her friends but she missed Jim so badly; and after a week of holding her tongue and having to sit by him knowing how things were between them, she was growing weary. He never once attempted to talk about anything, which shouldn't surprise her, she figured. Apparently he wasn't big on talking…just big on leaving her. Johanna shook her head slightly; trying to rid her brain of that thought.

She had no sooner finished saying hello to her friends when Jim walked into the room, shooting what appeared to be a pointed look at Jeff and she grew uneasy. Was it some sort of set up or was it in regard to some comment Jeff might've made when they last spoke? She didn't know, but she wasn't sure she liked it.

"How are you doing, Sassy?" Jeff asked; feeling the tension in the room rise as Jim poured himself a cup of coffee.

"I'm fine," she replied; and then recalling her conversation with Maggie the night before, she added, "How's Floyd?"

Jeff looked at her oddly for a moment as she and Maggie struggled to hold back giggles. Finally realization spread across his features and he shot Johanna a small slightly amused smirk. "Maggie, I'm going to wring your neck," he stated.

The girls burst into laughter. "Aren't you going to tell me how he is?" Johanna asked as she laughed.

"No, Floyd prides himself on his privacy," he answered, his gaze sliding to his girlfriend. "Damn you, Maggie; why are you spreading that around?"

"I'm not," she laughed. "I only told Jo, she needed a laugh."

"And I laughed a lot," Johanna added.

'I'm sure you did," Jeff replied; an amused gleam in his eye. "I guess I can live with Maggie revealing that one secret if it was for the sole purpose of making you laugh, Sassy."

"Who's Floyd?" Jim asked.

"Nobody," Jeff stated.

"Is that any way to talk about Floyd?" Maggie asked. "Don't you think he might be offended to hear you call him a nobody?"

"Who the hell is Floyd?" Jim asked once again as Johanna laughed.

Maggie glanced at him. "Jeff's monkey."

"Monkey?" Jim repeated; eyeing his friend warily. "A real one or are we headed into something I don't want to know?"

Maggie's burst into uncontrollable giggles which seemed to be contagious as Johanna started to laugh again too.

"It's not that funny," Jeff said, his gaze pinned to his girlfriend.

"I think it is," she laughed.

"What the hell is going on here?" Jim demanded to know.

His best friend turned his attention to him. "My girlfriend has a habit of waking me in the middle of the night when she can't sleep so she'll have someone to talk to; which would be fine if I really woke up for these discussions but apparently I don't."

"And?"

"And one night he was dreaming that he got a monkey," Maggie laughed; "And I wasn't allowed to name it."

Jim smirked at his friend in amusement. "A pet monkey? Really?"

Jeff raised his chin smugly. "For the record, he was an orangutan and highly intelligent."

"Then what was he doing hanging around with you?" Jim teased.

"There are dumber people he could've been hanging around with…like you," his friend replied.

The men shared a look and Johanna felt that tension returning. She jumped back into the conversation, hoping to ease it some. "I want to know why you named him Floyd," she remarked.

Jeff shrugged. "He just seemed like a Floyd."

"You're a strange man, Jeff Campbell," Johanna said lightly.

He grinned. "You wouldn't want me any other way, Sassy."

"You're probably right," she admitted. "You're like my honorary big brother."

Jeff pulled her into a quick hug. "I'm happy to have you as an honorary little sister."

"Of course you are, how could you not be; it's me," Johanna teased.

"Point taken," he laughed; "And as your big brother, I demand that you stop listening to the stories of that blonde troublemaker to my left…she's a bad influence."

Maggie swatted him. "I am not; I'm just right as an influence. If anyone is a bad influence, it would be you."

Jeff shook his head. "I'm the prefect, saintly influence."

Jim scoffed. "Saintly is stretching it a bit, don't you think?"

"Nope, not in my opinion."

"Believe me, it's stretching it," Maggie commented as she grabbed a cold drink from the fridge.

"I don't believe anyone asked you, Muffin," Jeff replied; "So zip your sweet lips."

Maggie smirked at him and then glanced at Johanna. "Remind me to tell you about his pony later."

Johanna laughed as she looked at Jeff. "You have a pony too? What's his name?"

"You'll never know," Jeff replied. "Because Maggie's not going to be able to tell you."

"You seem to have a lot of dreams about animals," Jim remarked.

Jeff gave a short laugh. "It's no wonder; this place is like working in a zoo."

"Can't deny that," Jim replied. His gaze met Johanna's and held for a moment; the comment not directed at her but felt in some manner just the same. She offered a small smile and then lowered her gaze, turning away slightly.

Jeff and Maggie sensed the awkwardness growing between them and they shifted on their feet as they tried to think of a topic that wouldn't bring up the elephant in the room. Jeff figured there was no way to avoid it completely so he decided to dive into the work angle. "How's the case going that you two have in court right now?" he asked.

Maggie elbowed him in the ribs and gave him a slight shake of her head. He shrugged and shot an apologetic glance at his friends.

"It's going fine," Jim remarked. "I'll be glad when it's over."

Johanna felt the same way but the remark stung as she figured he couldn't wait for it to be over so that he could get away from her. She remained quiet, unsure of what to say because she feared that anything that came out of her mouth would be sharp and tinged with the anger and hurt she was feeling keenly that day. A week and not a word; just every indication that he wanted to get away from her…maybe they should make it permanent in the work sense; at least that would make one part of her life easier where he was concerned.

"When will it be finished?" Maggie asked; hoping it was soon for Johanna's sake.

"It should wrap up Friday unless something unexpected happens," Jim answered.

"God I hope not," Johanna remarked without thought. "I can't take another week of it."

Jim looked startled as his gaze darted toward her and she cringed; throwing a please help me look at Maggie. Her friend came through for her, thankfully. "I understand the feeling; you have mentioned that you have a difficult client."

She nodded. "Yeah; he's a jackass."

"Rumor has it that your co-counsel has a history of being a jackass at times too," Jeff remarked playfully but the comment.

"No one asked your opinion, Jeff," Jim replied. "Besides; it takes one to know one."

"I never said I wasn't in the club with you; I am."

"You got that right," Maggie remarked; "Let's go before you stick your foot in your mouth some more. Jim and Johanna might want to discuss their upcoming appearance today."

"Sorry guys; it's hard not to misstep when it's so obvious there's a problem here," Jeff told them. "We're all hoping you'll work it out soon. If you'll recall, I told you back in May that it's always the friends who suffer in these cases."

"I remember," Johanna said quietly; a sigh escaping her lips that she couldn't hold back.

"Call me later, Jo," Maggie said as she dragged Jeff toward the door.

She gave her a smile and a nod but said nothing and made no move to follow behind them and leave. She was tired of always being the one to leave the room in deference to Jim's feelings and the way he made her ache. Let him leave this time.

The unease felt like it reached new levels but neither one of them moved. "It'll be over soon," Jim said quietly.

She nodded; tears springing to her eyes against her will. "Maybe we shouldn't work together anymore after this," she suggested; her tone soft.

Jim's gaze jerked to her face. "I don't think we need to stop working together."

She gave a soft, short bitter laugh. "Just can't make up your mind can you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You want me and then you don't want me. You want this case to be over, obviously so you can get away from me, and yet you think we should still work together. We barely say two words to each other and when we do, it's about work and with this case, we haven't agreed and you just veto everything I say and do it your way so why should we work together?"

"We haven't been that bad, Johanna. Yes; I vetoed your suggestions but I told you it wasn't personal; I just felt my way was better."

"Yeah; your way is always better; isn't it?" she said harshly.

"You're the one making it personal."

She met his eye. "How can it not be personal, Jim? Everything feels personal right now."

"Well stop making it feel that way," he retorted. "Quit making something out of nothing."

She laughed. "Why don't you practice what you preach and take your own advice?"

"Johanna," he sighed.

She clamped her lips shut although she desperately wanted to unload on him. She knew it would only make things worse, especially when she was trying so hard to quietly give him what he wanted so he'd see that she wasn't the pushy, man trapping jezebel that he suddenly seemed to think she was. "I'm sorry," she forced herself to say; even though she wasn't. "I won't say another word about it. I'm looking forward to this case being over too…it'll be a great relief."

Guilt filled him as he looked at her, seeing her struggle to hold back her emotions. "I never meant to hurt you," he murmured.

She nodded and forced a smile to her lips. "I'm fine; don't worry about it."

He scoffed. "If you're so fine and don't care, why do you act the way you do?"

"I never said I didn't care," she retorted. "I said I was fine; and I am."

Jim eyed her, taking in the stubborn look on her face. She was going to play the tough girl card; pretend like she flicked away hurts like a pesky fly and went on unaffected. If that was what she wanted to do, more power to her, he thought to himself. He knew she was angry and hurt; she'd been shoving it down within herself anytime he was around but he knew…after all, Jeff told him that she had been crying to Maggie. "Since you feel like you're being discriminated against in the handling of this case," he stated; "You run it the way you want to today."

Johanna's chin quivered as tears surged to the surface. "Don't do me any favors," she murmured; her voice tight as she gave a shake of her head. "You're first chair; as always and I'm just there to dress the set, so do what you want and I'll keep my mouth shut. That's what women are supposed to do anyway; right? Isn't that one of the comments Mr. Collins made?"

"It's not like that and you know it. I'm first chair because I have more experience than you, Johanna."

"A whole two years," she scoffed. "I'm just as capable as you are."

"I know that," he retorted, aggravation coloring his tone. "Two years might not seem like much to you but it is what it is, Jo. I didn't shut down your ideas for the reason you think. I declined them because they weren't tailored to trip people up the way we needed."

"You're wrong; I've used those tactics many times and they've rarely ever failed me."

"Good for you," he said sharply; "But this is my case too and when my name is on it, it gets done the way I feel it should get done and I don't care who likes it and who doesn't…and I especially don't care if the person who doesn't like it is a person who's spent time in my bed so now you can get that nonsense out of your head and stop being a sore loser about it."

Johanna curled her hand into a fist at her side to resist the urge to reach out and smack the smug look off his face. "Now that I know my place, in all aspects of life, you won't have any further problem with me," she said curtly. "You're right; you're first chair, you have two more years experience, it's more your case than mine, you call all the shots and I'll keep my mouth shut. I don't know why I had to be on this case in the first place, seems like it's under enough control with just you but I guess the firm wants to look good for Collins since he has a boat load of money and always seems to be in one legal scrape or another. Whatever happens in court today, you handle it; don't ask my opinion, I don't have one."

"I hate it when you act this way," Jim said tartly; his jaw tight with tension.

It was on the tip of her tongue to ask how he wanted her to act…and if acting the way he wanted would make a difference. She shook off that notion; she didn't want to be that kind of woman. It was bad enough that Sharon was turning into that kind of woman now that she was getting married. She hated to see her best friend taking a turn down that road in some ways and she didn't want to follow her. "What do you want me to do, Jim?" she whispered.

"I just want you to settle down and behave yourself," he said gruffly.

"Settle down?" she repeated incredulously. "I wasn't aware that I was causing scenes and causing you distress. In the scheme of things I feel like I've been largely silent. Have I made any arguments with the case that you think I wouldn't have made if things were different between us?"

Jim said nothing; he couldn't accuse her of doing that; he knew without a doubt that if she felt strongly about something she'd fight him no matter their status.

"That's what I thought," Johanna said as he remained silent. "Quit accusing me of things I'm not doing. I don't know what's going on with you lately because you don't like to talk about things; but you really need to work it out; not for me, but for yourself."

"There's nothing wrong with me," he retorted.

"Then what do you call it?"

"It's called stress and women are the number one cause of that!"

Johanna smirked at him. "In that case, I guess it's a good thing you don't have one anymore."

Jim scoffed. "You're on my mind every day, Johanna."

"Only because you have to sit next to me every day for the moment."

"You're on my mind because I know I hurt you."

She gave a shake of her head. "I'm fine…I was fine before you and I can be fine after you. I always am. You don't need to worry yourself about me…I can take care of myself, I always have," she told him, her chin jutting up a notch with McKenzie arrogance even as her voice trembled.

Anger flicked across his face and he advanced toward her at lightning speed, startling her and making her scurry backwards until her back hit the wall. His hand reached out and roughly cupped her face, his lips claiming hers without warning. She tried to resist his kiss but he was determined, that flicker of fiery temper she had shown him igniting a spark and touching upon the well of longing he felt for her. He knew his kiss was rough and demanding but she was returning it with her own anger fueled passion. If they had been somewhere more private, he had a feeling that anger could've driven them further than a kiss…but they were in the break room, the building was crawling with people and anyone could walk in at any moment. He reluctantly ended their kiss; unsure of whether to be relieved or angry with himself for indulging in that sudden need to silence her with a kiss.

Johanna's eyes opened, catching the slight hint of smugness in Jim's gaze and she reacted to it without thought. "You're getting real good at those literal kiss offs aren't you?" she asked.

The flippant remark made him angry and his response was to grab her and kiss her again, leaving her breathless. "I'll see you in court," he stated as he began to back away.

"And then what?" she asked.

He turned and faced her, looking puzzled. "I'm not sure I know what you mean?"

Hurt and disappointment rippled through her; she had thought that maybe since he had kissed her that it might mean he was ready to come back…or at the very least open a discussion about the state of their relationship. "Nothing, I guess," she murmured.

"What is it, Jo?"

She shook her head. "Nothing…it's clearly nothing."

He exhaled a weighted breath. "If you want an apology then I'm sorry I kissed you; I know I probably shouldn't have."

What was left of her heart shattered and it must've shown on her face as Jim's gaze immediately hit the ground. Remorse filled him; he should've never said that. "I didn't mean it that way," he stated; his tone tinged with self loathing.

"It doesn't matter," Johanna proclaimed as she grabbed her forgotten mug of coffee and hurried to the door. "I'll see you in court…and I'll be a good little co-counsel and keep my mouth shut and let you run your show. I wouldn't want you to think I was making any demands on you."

It was a parting shot, Jim thought to himself as Johanna crossed the threshold of the room and moved out of his line of sight. He figured he deserved that shot…after all; he had just hurt her again. He hated himself sometimes, he really did. Everything was a mess now…and he had a feeling that they couldn't share blame for it like they had back in May. This one was all on him and he hadn't done much to sort himself out. One thing was for sure; kissing her wasn't the best idea when he still hadn't gotten his head straightened out. He couldn't do that anymore right now…no matter how much he wanted to.


Johanna had a headache at the end of the day as she made the trek back to her office. The hall was largely silent and she was thankful that the building had apparently promptly emptied out before she got back. She had walked from the courthouse…it wasn't exactly a short trip but she didn't really mind. She had hoped that it would clear her head but it hadn't worked. Maybe if she had been running it would've, but walking only gave her mind free rein to roam all over the thoughts she didn't want to deal with.

The day in court had been long and tedious; the tension palpable between her and Jim. She had held her tongue, just as she had promised she would. She didn't argue any points about the way he wanted to handle things, and he had a feeling that a few of his whispered remarks were meant only to goad her into fighting him but she merely gave a nod of her head in acceptance to his wishes and stayed quiet. She had expected him to be irritated by that but he seemed somewhat pleased. It figured.

Their client had behaved like an ass as usual with his smart remarks about women in the legal field. Johanna hadn't bothered to fight back against him. She was tired of fighting; all she ever seemed to do was defend herself, fight for herself, prove herself…and it never seemed to be enough. Even when she won she always ended up losing something. Jim was a prime example of that. She had been kicking herself all day for allowing her anger to show in the break room that morning. Arguing with him probably hadn't been the best idea…and yet it had felt good to release some of that pent up tension…and then there had been that kiss…two kisses…kisses she had been desperately craving and wanting for a week. Her hopes had risen only to be quickly deflated. Jim didn't seem like it had thrown him off balance at all. Part of her hoped that meant that maybe he was coming around; that maybe it wouldn't be long before he wanted to talk…but somehow she doubted it.

She sighed heavily; she could hope, despite knowing how her hopes usually went. She was doing her best to remain optimistic about things with Jim but it was growing harder, especially now that she had lost her temper with him. She felt like her day couldn't get any worse.

"Where have you been?" Sharon demanded to know as Johanna stepped into the office.

Johanna glanced at her and raised a brow in regard to her sharp tone. "Court ran over."

"That's real nice," her secretary stated. "I have an appointment with Phil and Mom to go talk to people about music for the reception. I'm running out of time to get this stuff done, Jo."

"Hey, Sharon; I can't control the courtroom to suit you; you didn't have to wait on me to get back. You could've left me a note with anything I need to know and went on about your business. As for the music, I told you that you needed to get that stuff taken care of weeks ago but you always have to wait for your mother for everything."

"Mothers are supposed to be a part of the process," her friend retorted; "And maybe I need her opinion since my maid of honor isn't as involved as she should be."

"Now you wait just a damn minute," Johanna said tartly. "How haven't I been involved? I helped you find a dress; we did the bridesmaid and flower girls dress shopping. I helped you pick flowers and centerpieces. I've listened to you change the color scheme twenty times and have made suggestions for each one. You call me at midnight about place settings, rehearsal dinners, and whatever other doubts you and I have never once not answered or hung up on you. We've been planning everything together, Sharon; so don't you dare say I haven't been involved. If you have somewhere to go, then I suggest you get going because I've already had a hellish day and I'm about out of patience so it might be in your best interest to get out of my sight."

"I know all about your bad mood, you've had it for over a week now," her secretary retorted. "You either need to do something about it or move on and find someone else. If he's going to be this much aggravation to you over something so stupid, is he really worth it?"

Johanna's gaze narrowed. "He's always worth it to me."

Sharon picked up her purse from the desk and then handed Johanna a small stack of papers. "Those are the papers you wanted; your phone messages are on your desk and so is a copy of the schedule for tomorrow."

"Thank you," Johanna replied; her tone clipped and icy. "Have a nice time making your music selection."

Sharon said goodnight and headed for the door as Johanna watched her go; apparently she had been wrong earlier; her day had gotten worse…she hoped it was done now.


Jim lingered at the office even though he didn't really have any reason to. He scrubbed a hand over his face; the case was going smoothly enough now that they had gotten over a few hurdles but everything else was still hanging in the balance. It was his own fault; he knew that without a doubt…although there was some blame to be shared by everyone involved in this latest crisis in their lives.

He blew out a breath and gathered up his briefcase; there was no reason to hang around there and go all over it again in his for the millionth time. It didn't get him anywhere; he always came to the same conclusions; he was either stupid for letting this happen, or smart for getting out before he got invited to a wedding where he was the groom. He wondered which scenario was the lesser of two evils as his father's question rang in his head. "Are you really afraid that you aren't ready to get married…or are you afraid that are ready?" He frowned; lately his father was a troublemaker with his words and alleged wisdom…and his mother wasn't any better. He shook his head; he definitely didn't want to think about that.

Jim caught a flash of lavender in the hallway and glanced up just in time to see Johanna walk past. He moved quietly to the door, his eyes following her as she went. He wondered if she knew how pretty she looked in her lavender dress. It must've been a new addition to her wardrobe; he hadn't ever seen it on her before. She stepped onto the elevator and he stepped back, not wanting her to see him. He waited several minutes for her to get on her way and then he locked up his office and headed for the elevator.


When Jim came out of the building, he spotted Johanna sitting on the sidewalk at the bottom of the steps, the contents that had spilled from her briefcase and purse on the ground around her. He couldn't see her face but he could see the broken heel of her shoe and the splash of red running down her leg. He hurried down the steps to her side, dropping his briefcase and kneeling down in front of her.

"What happened, Johanna?" he asked, his hands falling against her leg, taking in the sight of her wounded knee; the deep gash still bleeding steadily despite the tissue she had been pressing against it.

"My shoe broke and it threw me down the last few steps," she answered; her voice low and tight as she forced herself not to cry. She really had to quit thinking that the day couldn't get any worse; she'd done been wrong twice now.

Jim cast a glance at the broken stiletto heel that was still lying on the step. "I told you that you were going to break your neck one day in those damn things."

"I didn't break my neck," she retorted.

"No; but you did a hell of a job ripping all the skin off your knee."

She blanched at the words, feeling the slightest bit queasy as she looked down at the wound. It wasn't a pretty sight. "I'm not giving up my heels," she muttered, conjuring up an ounce of bravado.

"Of course not," he remarked as he dug in his briefcase for the left over napkins from his take out lunch. He found them and pressed a clean one against the wound, holding pressure against it. She winced and jerked at the hard press of his hand against her knee, a small moan escaping her lips before she could bite the inside of her cheek. The tears she was trying to hold back broke free and slid down her cheeks.

Jim held on to her leg, keeping her from jerking it out of his reach. He knew he was hurting her but it had to be done. "I have to press hard to stop the bleeding, Jo."

She didn't answer, merely sniffled as she kept biting the inside of her cheek. It hurt so badly; not just the pressure he was applying but being in this situation with him when things were over between them…especially after the encounter between them that morning that clearly didn't mean anything to him as he acted like it hadn't even happened.

After a few minutes, he pulled away the soiled napkin and examined her knee. The bleeding had slowed and was stopping but the wound was red and angry looking. "I think you're going to need a few stitches," he told her.

Johanna shook her head. "I'll be fine."

He glanced at her. "I really think you need stitches, sweetheart."

She grimaced slightly at the endearment and lowered her gaze. Jim realized what he had said and fell silent as he dabbed a clean napkin against the small trickles of blood that stubbornly remained. Using a term of endearment for your ex-girlfriend probably wasn't the best thing to do, especially when it was all still raw and painful…and she was bleeding. A knot formed in his stomach as he tended to the wound; that one was probably an easier fix than the one he had inflicted upon her. He hadn't wanted to hurt her…but he help feeling fearful of just how serious things were between them and where she clearly wanted it to go, even if she had been joking when she mentioned rings.

"This gash is going to need cleaned out good," he told her quietly as he avoided her gaze. "I know there's probably dirt in it."

"I'll clean it when I get home," she replied, her voice trembling with pain and emotion, both from her wound and from their broken relationship.

Jim busied himself with gathering up the things that had spilled from her purse and briefcase, shoving them back in their appropriate bag. "Are you hurt anywhere else?"

There was a long pause of silence. "No."

He glanced at her; she was lying. "Where does it hurt?"

Her eyes met his and for a moment she was tempted to say that it hurt everywhere, because her soul did ache from the bruise he had caused upon her heart and feelings. "I said it didn't," she murmured.

"Yeah, I know what you said; but I want the truth."

"I think I twisted my ankle a little but it's fine," she stated as she reached for the strap of her purse.

Jim's hands gently circled her ankle without hesitation, checking it for signs of bruising or swelling. He saw neither but he gently worked her foot and ankle. "Tell me if it hurts," he told her.

"It doesn't."

He sighed. She wasn't likely to tell him the truth about the matter and her hands were brushing his away from her skin. He spotted a hint of a broken skin on her hands and grabbed them, forcing her to allow him to see them. Jim carefully examined her hands, taking note of the scrapes on both of them that had come from trying to catch herself as she fell. "Sweetheart," he murmured, hating to see her soft skin marred and knowing that it had caused her pain. Without thought he brought her hands to his lips and began to press soft kisses against the minor scrapes.

A soft shuddering breath slipped from her lips and Jim realized what he was doing. He jerked his hands away from hers, knowing that he'd be hurting her again and yet feeling the need to put that distance back between them…he'd already crossed the line that morning, and if he kept crossing it he'd never sort anything out.

Hurt rippled through Johanna as he jerked his hands away and quickly rose to his feet. "Is there anything else I can do for you?" he asked, his tone reserved and his gaze pointedly kept away from hers.

Johanna took off her undamaged shoe and held it up to him. "Can you break the heel off of this one?"

"What, you want them to match again?" he asked sarcastically as he took the shoe from her hands.

"No; it'll just make it easier to walk," she replied, trying not to shiver from the sudden chill of his tone.

He didn't know why but a burst of anger rushed through him as he gripped the shoe and easily snapped the heel off. He handed it back to her without a word, watching as she put it back on her foot. He should leave; she proclaimed to be fine and yet he was standing there when really he should go.

"How were you planning on getting home?" he asked.

"I was planning to walk," Johanna said as she gingerly got to her feet, her knee throbbing and her ankle sending an ache of its own through her body, making her grimace.

"I don't think you're going to be able to do that."

"I know," she replied softly, hoping that maybe he'd offer to drive her home.

"So what are you going to do?"

Her heart fell; apparently she had fallen from his graces so much that she wasn't even worthy of a ten minute drive home…but then again maybe he feared she'd try to propose to him on the way. She scoffed, he didn't have to worry about that, he was safe from her alleged clutches. "Don't worry about it," she remarked. "I'll get there; I can take care of myself."

Jim's jaw tightened. "Do you want me to help you back inside so you can call someone?"

"No; I think I'll try to walk…it might work out the soreness."

"It might make it worse," he retorted.

"Maybe today I don't really care," Johanna replied. "Maybe if it gets bad enough I can call in sick and then we won't have to sit next to each other tomorrow."

It would be a relief if they didn't have to sit next to each other in court, he thought to himself, but that didn't mean that he wanted her to hurt herself just to avoid it. He didn't get a chance to say so as she slowly began to move away from him, hobbling and limping from the combination of her broken shoes and her injured knee and twisted ankle. A pang skittered across his heart; he shouldn't let her go…but he did. A feeling of self loathing crept up inside of him once more as she stumbled over something in her path but she quickly caught herself and remained on her feet.

"Do you want me to get you a cab?" he called after her.

"No," she answered. "I'll get one myself when I see one."

He said nothing more as he picked up his briefcase and the broken heels she had left behind. He glanced at her as she slowly made her way down the sidewalk; it would take her forever to get home…and what was worse was that he'd want to call and make sure she got there alright and yet he knew that he would deny himself the privilege.

Johanna tried to quicken her pace but it hurt too much and so she continued to move slowly, feeling Jim's eyes upon her back. She wasn't sure what hurt worse, her knee or her heart from his betrayal. The only good thing about her wounded knee was that it gave her a reason to cry in public. The tears ran down her face and for once as she found herself among more people, she was grateful for the standard New Yorker attitude of not seeing anything that was going on with anyone else.


"How does it look?" Johanna asked her sister that evening as she lifted the bandage on her knee.

Colleen grimaced slightly. "Nasty," she answered. "How's your ankle?"

She lifted the ice pack from it and examined it. "It's a little sore but I don't see any swelling; of course I've been keeping ice on it so maybe that's helped."

"You know, you could've just called me to come and get you instead of walking home; it's not like my office is all that far away," her sister remarked.

"If I had known you were coming over tonight I would've called," she answered. Her sister had shown up an hour after she had gotten home. She had a feeling that something wasn't quite right but so far she hadn't said anything; waiting on Colleen to unburden herself but she hadn't yet.

"It was a last minute decision," Colleen replied. "I'm glad you didn't mind company for dinner."

"I never mind when you come over. I'm just glad you didn't mind leftovers," she said with a laugh.

Colleen smiled. "Sissy; you cook like Mom; your food never seems like leftovers. It's always good and you didn't need to be hobbling around on your ankle on my account."

Johanna decided that she may as well broach the subject of what was going on in her sister's marriage. "Did you and Paul have a fight?" she asked gently.

Her sister gave a soft laugh. "You could say that."

"What happened?"

"I'm sick of looking at his mother across the dinner table several times a week. Millicent issued her decree that we there tonight and I told him no. I said I'd rather we went out for an evening and you'd think I had murdered someone by suggesting that we turn down an invitation from his saint of a mother. We were just there Monday; this is Wednesday, we don't need to go back that soon."

"I agree," Johanna replied; "Especially when it's Millicent you have to eat with."

"She really rules the roost," Colleen remarked. "She says jump and Paul asks how high. It pisses me off. I told him I wasn't going and that was final. On his way out the door he said 'you just wait until I get home, this isn't over'. I stood there thinking 'the hell its not; I won't be here when you get home'."

"Do you want to stay here tonight?" Johanna offered.

Colleen glanced at her. "Would you mind?"

"No; I don't mind; it'll be like old times."

Her sister smiled. "I have a bag in the car. I didn't want to bring it in with me until I had asked."

Johanna took her hand. "Of course you can stay. Let him get mad and get over it. Why should you have to eat there all the time? Frankie doesn't eat at Valerie's parents all the time; you don't eat at Mom's all the time."

"Oh I know; getting him to go to Mom's for dinner is like pulling teeth and half the time he doesn't go but that's okay because it's him saying no to my family but when I do it, I'm just being a bitch."

"I don't think Paul likes our family too much."

"He doesn't mind Mom."

Johanna laughed. "It's just the rest of us?"

"It's one of those depends on what day it is things," she said reluctantly. "Like with you, he likes you as long as you're not putting him in his place. He doesn't like that you come back at him sometimes when he says something you don't like."

"Well that's too bad for him; that's a family trait in this family so he'll either have to get used to it or get over it."

"That's what I told him. He doesn't like Frankie at all."

"Why not?"

"He says he's not his kind of people."

"Frankie would love hearing that," Johanna said with a laugh. "He'd probably punch him in the mouth."

Colleen nodded. "I'm tempted to tell him so he can give Paul an attitude adjustment."

"Go ahead; you know he will. What about Dad? Does he have a problem with Dad?"

"Yes; Dad is never interested in his work on his advice about stocks."

"Dad has someone that takes care of his investments; he's been working with Richard Pendleton since we were babies and apparently he's doing a good job…if he wasn't Dad would've gotten rid of him long ago. Dad also isn't interested in deep stock market analysis; he knows what he needs to know and leaves the rest up to Richard."

"I know and I've told him that; I mean it's not like Dad sits and constantly talks about his work so why should Paul? It's boring as hell."

"True. Why doesn't he try to find something else to talk about?"

"I don't think he has anything in common with Dad and Frankie; they like sports and to fish and hunt and things like that. Paul doesn't like fishing or hunting; he doesn't belong to the clubs they belong to. He likes to play pool and the only sport I think he likes is football; Dad and Frankie seem to like a wide range of sports. They're just polar opposites."

"Well, I guess all you can do is start telling him the things about his family that you don't like so you don't have to spend so much time with them," Johanna suggested.

Colleen laughed. "I have a list of things I could use."

"Then use it," she laughed. "If he gets mad, let him. What's so wrong with staying home or going out for a night? You two were always going out before you were married."

"Yeah, well, apparently once the ring goes on the finger that stops. I have a feeling he figures it's no longer necessary now that he's gotten me."

"If I ask a question will you promise not to get mad at me?" Johanna asked.

"I promise."

"Do you wish you had waited a while longer to get married?"

Colleen was quiet for a moment. "Sometimes," she whispered. "I love him, and when it's good, it's perfect…but when it's not, like here lately…I start to wish that I had thought about it more I guess."

Johanna nodded. "I'm sure that's only natural…you're just working out the bugs."

"We've been married for a year and three months; shouldn't it be worked out by now?"

She shrugged. "I've never been married so I wouldn't know…but I do know that there's always a honeymoon phase before things sometimes get sticky. Maybe your honeymoon phase wore off and now you're in the sticky phase."

"I guess that could be it," Colleen remarked. "I wonder how long it lasts."

"I don't know…honestly I was thinking earlier that maybe we're cursed when it comes to relationships because I could tell that something was going on with you and then there's my issues."

Colleen nodded. "We need a cure for the curse…where do you think we can get one?"

"I don't know; we'll have to ask Grandma," Johanna replied. "Or call an exorcist."

"Things still aren't any better with Jim?"

She shook her head. "I thought maybe there was some hope this morning but I was wrong."

"What happened?"

Johanna explained the break room encounter and what had happened the rest of the day, including how he hadn't even offered her a ride home when he knew that she had hurt herself.

Colleen sighed, "What the hell is wrong with men this month? Is it the weather or is there just a stupid cell in the water?"

"I wish I knew," she replied, "I thought by hanging back it might help, but it hasn't. Losing my temper obviously hasn't helped despite getting kissed, so what the hell am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know, Sissy. I guess we just keep playing things by ear. Mom didn't prepare us very well for these things, did she?"

"Nope; I think she chalked this up as one of those sink or swim lessons Dad was always giving us."

"Yeah; you're probably right…and there probably wasn't a Harlequin that covered this topic in the way we needed," Colleen laughed.

Johanna laughed. "Harlequin didn't cover any topics in the way we really needed."

They giggled together and then sighed. "Sometimes it seems like we no sooner get on track and something comes along to derail it," Johanna remarked.

"I know…I hate it."

"So what are we going to do?"

Her sister glanced at her. "Forget our problems exist for a night; open up a bottle of wine, make popcorn and find an old movie to watch on TV while we read magazines, talk and paint each others nails like we did when we were teenagers."

Johanna laughed. "You know; that sounds pretty good."

Colleen smiled. "Let me go get my bag and we'll get this 'no stress from men' party under way."

"I'll get the popcorn started," Johanna said as she took the ice pack off of her ankle. Maybe a night with her sister was just the thing she needed.


Jim sat at the far end of the bar, taking solace in the shadowy area as he nursed his glass of scotch. He hated himself for letting Johanna walk home when he knew her ankle and knee were hurting her. Why had he done that? Regardless of their current situation, he could've still driven her home. He exhaled a heavy breath and scrubbed a hand over his face before downing half of his drink. What was wrong with him? He should've taken her home and taken care of her. He could've cleaned out that gash in her knee and maybe convinced her to go get it looked at because he still thought she might need a few stitches. If she refused, he could've made sue she stayed off of it as much as possible so that she wouldn't be making it worse. He knew letting her go off on her own was wrong as soon as she started to move away from him and yet he had done nothing…all because he had kissed her that morning…and caught a deeper glimpse of her hurt.

It had been a week now…a week since he told her that things weren't working out…a week since he broke her heart…because he knew that he had, no amount of denying it from her or him could convince anyone otherwise. He hurt her, and he hated himself for that too. He also felt like he had been lying to her when he told her that things weren't working out…they were working out just fine…maybe a little too fine. Maybe that's what the problem was; everything was working out so well and they fit together so comfortably that once in awhile he did think about it being for the long haul. It was a terrifying thought when you felt like you weren't ready, but maybe his father was right. Maybe he wasn't afraid that he wasn't ready…maybe he was afraid that some part of him was ready. He grimaced; he didn't really want to think about that…and that was probably a problem too.

Why did everything in life have to get so damn complicated? Jim stared down at the contents of his glass; it was only Wednesday and yet it felt like the week was barely moving along at all. Every day he had to sit by Johanna, and on the rare moments when their eyes met and held, he could see how pained she still was. Her demeanor was quiet and sedate in the courtroom…she never relaxed for a moment as she sat beside him; he could always feel the tension in her body, sense her unease as soon as she walked into the courtroom and spotted him. So far, Johanna had kept her promise to not try and stop him from ending their relationship, even give their conversation that morning. She hadn't really tried to talk to him about it; no pleas to work through things, no more apologies, no tearful asking of a second chance. Did it mean that she didn't care? He gave a slight shake of his head. That didn't sound feasible.

It was more logical to think that she was doing what she promised in hopes that it would carry weight with him that she wasn't trying to hold him. It felt odd though that she'd go against her nature and not try to at least attempt to smooth things over. Maybe she feared making it worse, a little voice whispered in the back of his mind. He had accused her of nagging, clinginess and husband fishing; those weren't charges a woman took lightly. Or maybe she was just simply done with him…not in the way that she didn't want him anymore, but in the way that she was tired of trying to have the kind of life she wanted with him when he kept digging in his heels and rebelling against it.

That was another topic that Jim didn't want to think too much about as he took a sip of his drink. He and Johanna spoke, and with the exception of their argument that morning, their conversations were only about work and even that was awkward and clearly hard for her…not that it was any easier for him, but he was the one who caused it, so he didn't have much right to complain about how things were between them at the moment. Their client was still on a mission to be an ass so he knew Johanna was suffering in that regard too. He had no choice but to share the elevator with her that afternoon…and his hand had itched to reach out and curl around hers, to pull her close and steal a kiss while they were out of view of everyone else…because having a taste of her earlier in the day had only left him wanting more as usual.

He missed her…especially tonight when he usually spent the night at her place. Jim glanced at his watch; if they hadn't broken up, they'd be sitting down to dinner right now. He couldn't help but wonder what she made for dinner…not that it mattered, everything she cooked was good. A frown crossed his lips, instead of Johanna's home cooking, he had a sandwich at a deli near the office and now the glass of scotch in his hand. Recalling his drink, he picked up his glass and drank down the rest of the contents before signaling the bartender to bring him another.

With his fresh drink in hand, he allowed his thoughts to roam once more, thinking about how they would've discussed work over dinner; reviewing the day's events in court and preparing more strategies for tomorrow. After dinner, work would've been put away, conversation turning to gossip that had been overheard or anything else that came to mind. After the clean up was finished, they would've settled down for the evening…maybe had a drink if the mood struck. They would've indulged in a little lighthearted bickering about what to watch on TV. It would've been relaxing…comfortable…home. He would've climbed into her bed, breathing in her scent as he curled up with her…kissed her goodnight…made love to her if she was willing.

Jim sighed deeply; it was all so much more appealing than sitting there in the bar. He was lonely without her. It was funny how accustomed you got to someone's presence in every sector of your life. Was it really so bad that they had such a comfortable relationship? Shouldn't comfort be a good thing? He took a drink; he hated having to think about it so much. Things were better before he started to think so much. Maybe that was the problem; he thought too much when he should just 'be'."

"May I sit down?" a feminine voice asked from beside him, pulling him from his thoughts.

Jim glanced up to see Callie at his side. "Sure," he said, figuring there was no reason to say no…and she'd probably sit down anyway even if he did.

Callie slid onto the stool beside him with a lazy smile as she signaled the bartender and ordered a drink. "I saw you hiding over here in the shadows," she told him. "I couldn't let you be lonely."

"I wasn't hiding," he replied. "It's just the best spot in the bar."

She smiled slyly. "Only when you have company. Shadows are for illicit liaisons."

Jim gave a half hearted smirk but didn't comment.

"I heard that you and Johanna split up," Callie comments after taking a sip of her Cosmo.

"News travels fast."

"I can't say that I'm surprised that you two didn't last; you just don't seem right together, you know what I mean?"

"No, I don't think I do," he replied.

She smiled. "You're a man who needs excitement and Johanna doesn't have any…sizzle."

Jim scoffed, countless steamy encounters coming to mind, making him ache for her all the more. "Johanna has plenty of sizzle."

Callie's brow rose. "Well if she wants lacking in that regard, what happened?"

"Why do you care?" he asked.

She allowed her lips to part, pretending to be shocked that he'd ask such a thing. "Why would you ask me such a thing, Jim? I thought we were friends…we are friends, aren't we?"

"I suppose," he replied; not wanting to offend her when he already had enough problems.

Her lips pursed into a pout. "I thought we've had some nice times…remember the last time we spent time together in a barroom? I believe you were on the outs with Johanna that time as well."

"I remember."

"Seems like you two are always on the outs; that's why it's not surprising that it hasn't lasted. What did she do this time?"

"It was just one of those things," Jim said; not willing to discuss the details with Callie.

"Mhmm…just a summer fling then? You're ready to move on for the fall?"

"No, she was never a fling."

"No chemistry outside the bedroom?" she asked; "Because really, she's all wrong for you."

Jim eyed her. "We have plenty of chemistry; enough for multiple explosions of every kind possible."

Callie's brow rose as she sipped her drink. "Then what was the problem? You say there was plenty of sizzle and chemistry so what went wrong? Did you finally get tired of having the same thing? I don't blame you if you did; you're too young and handsome to be tied down to someone for so long…especially Johanna; she's so uptight and serious…and downright shrewish at times."

"She is not," he retorted but then he remembered the things he had accused her of. If he recalled his high school vocabulary words correctly, a shrew was an ill tempered, nagging woman…and he had mentioned those things…so technically he had called her one as well. The thought made his stomach clench a little. Johanna wasn't a shrew; she might seem like was nagging once in awhile but it was almost always out of concern, not spite. She was temperamental…but he liked that; liked the fire it brought out in her, liked the way she wasn't afraid to fight him. He loved her being sassy and feisty.

Callie laughed. "Now, Jim; you don't have to keep defending her; after all you must've broke up with her for some reason…it certainly wasn't because you thought she was perfect, now was it?"

Maybe it was, Jim mused…too many comments had made him see the big picture and maybe he thought she was a perfect fit for what he wanted one day. He took another sip of his drink, but that didn't mean he wanted to be rushed into marriage…and she had been hinting…hadn't she? Or did he blow everything out of proportion because he had allowed his mother get his head and his father's advice to chafe him, along with the remarks of their friends. Did he read more into things than he should have? It wasn't a pleasant thought.

Callie's hand caressed his arm and he forced himself not to tense at her touch. "Jim?" she asked, clearly still waiting on him to answer her question.

"I don't want to talk about it anymore," he said gruffly.

She conjured up a sympathetic smile. "I understand," she murmured as she leaned closer, pressing a soft kiss against the corner of his mouth. "Let's just forget all about her and have a good time. We'll have a few more drinks, talk…maybe dance a little…and after that, who knows," she said wryly. "We'll just play it by ear…we can have a good time tonight, can't we, Jim?"

He should leave, Jim thought to himself as Callie's fingers moved against his hand, but he didn't really want to go home and he didn't know where else to go. There wasn't really any harm in having a drink with Callie…she might be better company now that she was getting off the topic of Johanna. She wasn't all that bad after awhile…there wasn't any reason to turn down her company at the bar.

"Are you going to tell me no?" she murmured; her voice a mixture of teasing and subtle seduction.

"No, I wasn't going to do that," he replied against his better judgment.

Callie smiled widely, remaining close to him, her fingers curling around his and he couldn't help but think that it was the wrong hand touching his…and yet he didn't shake off her grasp.

"We can have a good time tonight, can't we?" she practically cooed.

"I guess we'll see," Jim replied; hoping that he wasn't making a mistake.

…to be continued