He should make himself let her go. The others had already started their morning. He could hear them just outside. The mumbles of greeting. The rustle of tents. The smell of meat sneaking its way through the air.
All this only kept away by a bit of fabric. And yet, it felt like an entirely separate world from the one he was currently in.
His ears full of her soft breathing. Her contented sigh. His body still enthralled by the feel of her soft and warm, tangled with him. Skin and blood still tingling from her touch. The pleasure she had brought to him.
He took a deep breath. Vanilla, lavender, and rose filling his nostrils. The hint of their shared lust still in the air. Pungent, musky, and entirely unique to them. To her. The taste of her still on his tongue tangy and sweet, like biting into a ripe fruit.
It had been perfect.
She had been perfect.
No. Not perfect. Perfect was inadequate. There were no words for what they had shared. The things she had made him feel. He was full. So very full of something he could not place but did not wish to let go of.
His arms wrapped tighter around her. Just a moment more.
He could already feel the barrier for sound weakening. When it fell completely he would release her. He would return to the world outside.
He felt her stir against him, "Solas, we-"
"Please." His lips found her skin kissing her brow, her cheek, anywhere he could reach. "I need..."
He needed for her to be alive. Needed to know she was somewhere safe. To save her he needed to get her away from here. To save her he needed to let her go.
She pulled her face away just enough to be able to look him in the eyes. Her mouth opened then closed again. The intensity of her eyes made his heart thud.
His fingers came up twining through her curls, "Ma av'in."
Her fingers tightened on his shirt and she brought her mouth to his. As their lips met he thought once more of the gift he had been given. To have her even for a short time. It was infinitely precious. He would not squander a moment of it.
He gripped her to him and rolled so he was on top of her, careful not to put his full weight on her. One of his hands kept tangled amongst her silken curls. The other sought the hem of her shirt lifting it so he could once more feel the skin of her waist below his fingers. Her warmth.
Her mouth opened for him and his tongue found hers. Insistent and hungry. She clung to him and he to her. His senses leaving him as he became dizzy from the sensations rushing through his body.
All things considered, it was a surprise that he felt the barrier drop. When it did he kept to his internal promise and pulled from her. He sucked her lower lip in before kissing it tenderly and sitting up. Both of them were breathing ragged but she didn't complain this time.
Instead, she simply set up with him as they both put on their outer clothing. When he had finished putting on his armor he looked over to her. She had her fingers running through her curls separating the locks so she could braid it.
He could not resist, "May I?"
She looked at him puzzled for a moment before a smile formed, "You know how to braid?"
He smiled and moved behind her. As his fingers brushed the back of hers she relinquished her hair to him, "You sound surprised."
"Well, yeah. I mean..."
He couldn't hide the amusement in his voice as his fingers worked deftly along her curls, "You presume I was always thus?" She started to turn but he tutted, "Still."
She stopped turning her gaze forward once more, "You had long hair?"
He took a moment to try to imagine what she would have thought of him then. The young cocky fool so sure of himself before he had started to truly question, to withdraw. There had been a time, a very very long time after he had become Evanuris, when he had cared mostly for the easy things. For what pleasure life could give him. He had never had slaves but he had still taken when and where he wanted.
There was no lack of elvhen nobility willing to satiate his seemingly endless desires, it met their own after all. Desires not only for the carnal but for the status that came with spending even one night with one of their 'gods.' It had been lonely. Despite the endless acts of debauchery and his enjoyment of them at the time, he had always been alone in the end. Meaningless all of them.
He tried to picture what it would have been like if she had been there. Without a doubt his younger self would not have hesitated as he did. That self would have taken her hungrily and without reserve. Over and over. Kept her screaming her pleasure for days till both of them grew hoarse from it.
Yet, even as he thought this he could not properly picture her there. Not because of the roundness of her ears, but because of her, her essence, her very being, collided with that world. All of them cold, calculating, and not a word or action done without purpose, without a desire for gaining something. Even Mythal. Even himself.
Not her. She was warm, kind, selfless, and so very soft. She did not belong with them, did not belong with Fen'harel. Not even in thoughts. If he could help it she would never know that side of him.
She spoke once more breaking into his musings, "Was it like shoulder length or..."
"Long, though perhaps not quite as long as yours, it was close. I do not miss it. It is easier without."
"Odd, I've never seen you shave and you are completely smooth up there. No hint of stubble."
He chuckled, "Magic, vhen'an'ara."
She reached up near her ear where a curl had already freed itself, tugging on it before dropping her hand again, "Maybe I should consider doing that. You could teach me the spell."
He paused his braiding so he could brush his mouth against the exposed skin of her neck. He trailed a line of kisses from her nape up to her ear and she shivered beautifully.
He spoke then his mouth still near her, "You would be breathtaking no matter. However, I am rather fond of your curls." His teeth came up to give a gentle nibble to the rounded top of her ear before he set back, returning to his task.
One delicate finger came up again touching some of the shorter curls at the back of her head, "They never behave."
He could not resist saying, "All the more fitting."
"Oh ha ha." After a pause she spoke again, "Solas… I'm sorry that I-"
"There is no need. What is done is done." He tied off the end of the braid before twisting it into a circle at the back of her head, 'I will succeed, you will be home, safe."
She smiled softly, "Solas I.." Her fingers picked at the blanket as she hesitated.
He tucked her braid securely in place and then took her chin, turning her face to look at him, "Speak, vhen'an'ara."
Her eyes flitted over his features before finally meeting his gaze, "Just, thank you for everything. For this morning. It was…" She looked down once more searching for the word.
His thumb brushed along her cheek then down to trace lightly over her lower lip, "I do not think there is an adequate word; no matter, sometimes words are not needed."
She nodded before brushing kisses along his jawline. Then finally a feather of a touch against his lower lip before she spoke, "We should really get going. I want to get that little girl the potion. I hope she managed alright."
His heart swelled for a moment with pride and love for her. She had handled it well yesterday. Not hesitated when she was needed despite the fact that she was afraid.
"I am sure she is well, you did excellent, I would not have thought of the paste."
She turned to catch his stare, her eyes bright, "Thank you."
She left the tent and he followed behind. The moment they exited they were approached by a lanky elf. Bare faced, with tawny orange-brown skin, short brown hair, and emerald eyes.
When he neared he spoke, "Well met again my lady."
She smiled, "Well met. I'm sorry it was…" She thought for a beat, "Feren?"
"Good memory, my lady."
She shook her head, "Just Ella is fine."
Solas kept his face neutral as he examined the new comer. "Have we met?"
Feren turned his eyes to him, "Not formally. I'm sure you've seen me about Haven. You're that Fade mage they have right?"
He said the word Fade like something filthy. Not a word worthy of gracing his mouth. Solas remained neutral in appearance. Inside he grew an immediate dislike for the man, "Correct."
Emma fidgeted and spoke up, "You're one of Leliana's right?"
"I'm a runner. I do whatever odd jobs she needs me to. When and if she needs me." He turned his eyes now from their examination of Solas back to Emma, "Which is why I came to see you. I'm headed back to Haven. Heard you have herbs for Adan. Thought I'd offer to take back what you've got so far."
She brightened, "That'd be perfect. One sec."
She turned bending to slip back into the tent for the herbs. As she went Solas glanced at her then back at Feren who was now watching her disappearing form with a smirk. He felt his jaw clench.
"Lucky man." Feren said as he kept his eyes on the opening of the tent, "She's a pretty thing. For a shem. Is it true what they say about the fiery haired ones?"
Solas was not prone to jealousy. He was fully aware that others would be attracted to her. How could they not? He accepted this. Was fine with it. What he was not fine with was disrespect towards her. To have her so blatantly objectified made him want to knock sense into this petulant little fool.
The only outward sign of his rage was the clenching and unclenching of his fist, "Do you always show such disrespect?"
His eyes turned to Solas and there was a flash of something there but too quick to be caught. The elf bowed his head, "Forgive me. I just thought between-"
Emma stepped out with a handful of herbs interrupting whatever Feren was about to say.
Feren pulled his pack of his back and opened it for her, "Good stash. Just put 'em in here and I'll get them to Adan."
As she stuck them in his bag she said, "Thanks Feren. I really appreciate it. I'm sure Adan will be pleased as well. Impatient as he is."
Feren laughed, "If I'm lucky this may get me on his good side. Assuming," He paused a beat as though thinking, "Does he have a good side?"
She shrugged, a smile still on her lips, "I've yet to find that out."
Solas spoke, eager to get her away from this man, "If that was all?"
Feren rubbed the back of his neck putting on a look of bashfulness that Solas saw through instantly.
"Right. Sorry, I didn't mean to keep you from your duties. I'd best be on my way. Fade mage." He gave a tilt of his head before his eyes went to Emma again, "Ella. I hope to see you again soon."
Solas knew her well enough to know her mind was already back to the little girl as she replied, "Have a safe journey."
Feren gave a parting smile then turned and left. Solas watched him wearily. He debated having some of his people find more about this man. Then he dismissed it almost as quickly. If Feren was one of Leliana's he had, no doubt, been looked into. His own resources were limited. He could not afford to keep using them on non-essentials.
Out of the corner of his eye he caught Emma starting to go to the potions table. As she passed him Solas stopped her with a hand on her arm.
"Vhen'an'ara, a moment."
When she spoke it was distracted. Her mind clearly on the task ahead. "Yes, dearheart?"
He froze. His stomach fluttering as he absorbed the term she had used. Yearning and pleasure mixing inside him as he looked at her. He wanted to pull her to him then so badly it was an ache in his chest.
Instead he said in a hushed tone, "Dearheart?"
Only then did she realize what she had said and turned to him eyes wide, "I- I didn't-" She looked terrified as though she might have scared him off. "If you don't like it-"
Oh how he wanted to touch her. To vanquish any doubts of his feelings for her by actions. "I like it. Though just between us, unless you are prepared for the others to know."
She glanced around camp, "Yes… right, uhm you were going to say something?"
He was brought back to the issue at hand and his smile left, "Be weary. I do not trust that man."
Part of him expected her to fight him on this. To jump to thoughts of jealousy. Instead her eyes locked on his, searching for a moment before she gave a slight nod, "Alright." His surprise most have slipped out and shone on his face because she laughed lightly, her expression softening, "Don't look so surprised. I've told you, I trust you."
"I-" he paused for a beat feeling emotions once more swirling through his gut, "Thank you."
She nodded and freed her arm from his hand, heading to the potions table. He allowed himself a moment to watch her movements, eyes settling on her left thigh where the wolf tattoo resided. Though he still was unsure how he felt on that. At the time it had been highly erotic. That small unintentional symbol of him on her body. Something he knew she would carry with her always.
She had not even known him when she had gotten it. Still did not know just how close she came to the truth when she called him her wolf. How close she had been in the Fade. Yet somehow, that one little coincidental tattoo, made it feel as though they were both headed down a predetermined path. He could not decide if that was comforting or disturbing.
