It took time for Natasha to realize that he was standing there.
Maybe it was only a few moments, but it felt longer, piecing it together while nothing happened. She was exhausted, it was late, Tony would never have let him inside. So, she just stared at him.
He looked okay, better than the last time (so, it couldn't be real). The same baseball cap as the last time, maybe the same jeans, with a gray shirt and black sweater over it. He was okay.
But, he couldn't be real.
But, then, he smiled. A smile that almost made him light up. A smile that wouldn't come from her memory- therefore, it had to be real.
" Bucky," she spoke, hardly above a whisper.
He stepped closer to her, eyeing a sleeping Steve before continuing. " I'm sorry to just show up," he was just as quiet, " I didn't really know why I did. If anything, to say congratulations"
Natasha watched him, wanting to cry from either fear or happiness, "thank you, b-but why are you here? I...I'm happy you are, but..."
" I felt responsible to make sure you two were alright," he looked over at Steve again, " can't trust this punk by himself."
She was excited, thrilled even, that he mentioned Steve as the best friend he was meant to know. She tilted her head towards him, " we can wake him."
" Nah," he was so casual about it.
" I'm sure he'd agree that there's a good reason."
Bucky ignored her reasoning, staring at the baby, " she's beautiful, Nat."
" She is," Natasha hadn't even looked away, not even at the baby when saying that. " where have you been? Are you alright?"
He nodded, " I'm fine. And I've been anywhere other than where people think I am."
She gave him a look over, trying to detect any injuries, any signs of distress, anything, " are you sure you're okay?"
" Nat, I didn't come here for you to worry about me, " he looked down at the baby, " she really is beautiful. You should be so proud."
Natasha looked as well, " she looks like her father."
" He makes that face when he sleeps."
Her gaze returned to him, curious if it was a real memory of his, or because Steve was actually sleeping three feet away. Their hushed voices were not disturbing him in the least.
" What's her name?"
" Lydia...I'd let you hold her, but, they have a security system with wristbands, and..."
He raised his hand to stop her, " it's alright. I wouldn't feel right doing so anyways."
" Bucky," it felt so good to say his name, to him, " I can wake him up, and whatever nightmare you're going through, it'll e over."
BUcky shook his head, sitting on the side of the bed, once she moved her leg. " I can't do that, Nat."
" Why not?" she watched him debate amongst himself, because he didn't have a satisfying answer. " Bucky, I swear on this child's life, he is not going to be the least bit upset. IF anything, it would be such a relief, knowing you're right here."
Bucky sighed, and for a moment seemed as though he was actually considering it. " You two, well, three are a family. You just became a family, I don't want this to take away from Lydia."
" It won't. You're family, too, and you now he wouldn't deny that. You remember enough to know that."
" If this baby is really the target we worry she is, I'm just another one. In your house, with your child."
Natasha leaned forward, with a soundless baby still in her arms, her forehead resting on his upper arm. The metal arm, she could feel it underneath the fabric.
" Her middle name is James," she murmured.
He tensed, pausing, " why?"
" Because you're important to both of us. That's why."
She sat up again, watching him stare at her in disbelief.
" Nat, that's..she needs to have a strong name. If you're going to name her after anyone, it should be..."
" It should be you, and it is."
" But, she..."
" No, nothing. We both signed the birth certificate, the decision is made." She then balanced Lydia is one arm to remove her wristband. Still balancing a sleeping newborn, she reached over and snatched Bucky's flesh arm, and secured it onto his wrist. In the same action, she swiftly moved the baby to his arms. " There."
For a brief moment, Bucky struggled. And in that brief moment, Lydia sensed change (and she didn't like change). She instantly fussed, letting out a small wail. Natasha instantly looked over at Steve, who was unaffected.
Bucky slid his metal arm under the baby's back and bottom, hoisting her tiny body higher along his chest. Lydia squirmed, adjusting to her new surroundings, but settled without any further disruptions. Bucky became engaged in simply watching her, using his flesh hand to gently outline her cheeks, her nose, her chin.
" You're beautiful," he spoke to her in Russian, the language that was native but should not have been, " you're lucky to have your mother and father."
Natasha leaned forward, " please stay with us."
Bucky let out a slow sigh, returning to English, " and he's just suppose to wake up? With me sitting here, holding his child?"
" Yes."
" It's not that easy right now. He's not going to want me near his baby, Nat. This is the number one being he needs to protect- and protect her from people like."
" That's not true," her tone was nearing the pleading level," I've been with him, listening to hi this while time. He misses you. Yes, he loves Lydia, and he'll protect her, but that's not everything that he needs."
She could easily scream- the thought crossed her mind. Steve would wake up (hopefully), Tony (and whoever else was out there), would come rushing in, and is escape would be foiled. And then Steve would see him, and he would be safe. Everyone would work together, and Bucky would be okay again.
But, she also saw the pain that was etched in his face. It was obvious he made progress, probably a lot more that was expected. A far as she knew, she was the only person he was coming out of the dark for. Ruining that could push him backwards. He as resourceful enough to make it this far, he would be alright without her- and without Steve.
" Steve will protect you, he's good at that," Bucky said, " and you'll be such a wonderful mom. Let yourself believe that, because you will." He looked down at the bed, the ring on her hand catching the dim light. " I can see he's doing the right thing already," he smirked.
" So are you."
The two pulled a reverse switch- returning the wristband and the baby to Natasha with success.
" Will you be back?" she dared ask, once he stood again.
Bucky nodded, bending down to kiss the top of her head, " of course I will. I'm not leaving you any time soon."
And just like that, he left, the same way he had arrived. She had to let him leave.
A moment after that, Tony popped his head in, as the first teardrop fell down her cheek.
" Everyone alright?" he asked.
She nodded, " Thank you, for letting that happen without a big show."
" Hey, like I said, we'd all be nothing without second chances. Try and get some sleep."
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Not long after Bucky left, Natasha had calmed herself to the point where she only remained exhausted and completely restless. It was still nighttime that much she knew, and it was a shock to her that the previous events had not lasted longer. He was gone so quickly. it was as though he was never there.
She returned Lydia to the bassinet. The baby stirred enough to indicate that she may wake up soon. It was likely she would be hungry- and demand her father.
Wrapped in a thin robe, Natasha eased herself into his lap, while he slept on the chair. Once safely plopped, she laid herself on his shoulder, her arm wrapping around it.
It was warm, so warm.
Steve stirred, and was quick to snap himself awake. He grabbed her knee, but due to a secure hold, she wasn't going anywhere.
" Wha- what happened?" he murmured, hardly awake.
Natasha nuzzled the side of his cheek and kissed his jaw, " I love you," she whispered.
He pushed himself upwards in the chair, holding on to her. " Hey, I love you, too. What happened?"
" Nothing- I just wanted to say it. I don't say it enough."
Steve rubbed one of his eyes, " aww, no, don't worry about that." He was quick to check in the bassinet. " I didn't realize I fell asleep. Did she wake up at all?"
Natasha rested her head on his shoulder, " not really, a bit fussy. We had a cuddle session."
" Really?" he was genuinely excited by that announcement, " just the two of you?"
She didn't want to lie to him. In all her years, all her training, he was the one that was spared of her skills (and they were good skills- they'd defiantly work on him).
So, she ignored it.
" She never cried. I'm worried she didn't want to eat, didn't cry to be changed. She's a brand new human being, there can't be much else."
" Yeah, they're weird beings," he mumbled, still waking.
Natasha stroked the stubble on his cheek, and when he turned his head, she kissed him, a gesture he softly returned. And she as just about to pull him in further, when a strong sound of breaking wind came from the baby next to them.
Steve laughed, breaking the kiss. Natasha stayed close, and gave him a quick peck before they were both giggling.
" Lydia, that wasn't very lady like of you," Natasha commented. Though she was a bit bummed that they were interrupted.
Lydia wiggled and kicked inside her burrito settings, making soft whining noises. Her parents remained completely still, wanting to see what she would do next. They waited.
" Steve, I have something to tell you," Natasha said under her breath.
Steve looked up at her, bright blue eyes waiting, " what?"
" Please don't be mad."
" Okay."
Just then, the door opened, just as her mouth opened to confess all that had gone on. One of the NICU nurses appeared, and immediately apologized for interrupting. Natasha tried to shift off of Steve's lap to look less conspicuous, but there was nowhere to go.
" We'd like to take Lydia for some blood tests. We're hoping mom and baby can go home tomorrow."
The new parents tensed at the very thought.
" We'll have the OB on call come check you out as well, mom."
That was to be expected.
" Steve, go with her."
" I'm sure she'll be okay with..."
" Please go with her."
Natasha stood so that he could as well. " Hold that thought," he murmured, " I'll be back."
She nodded. Steve gathered Lydia and her blanket and followed the nurse out of the room. Natasha smiled and waved when seeing that Lydia was awake, and peeking over Steve's shoulder.
Once they left, she returned to her own bed, pulling the blanket over her head.
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" Well, her weight has maintained, but it's normal for new borns to lose weight, so don't be concerned if that happens."
Lydia laid on the metal scale, back in the NICU, only in her diaper. She began to whimper from the cold. Once the nurse had recorded her weight, Steve picked her up again.
" But, she's so little already," Steve commented.
The nurse smiled, " she'll gain it back, don't worry." The woman then saw that his panicked look was not going away, " I've never had new parents fail with a new baby. It's a process, but it's a process for her, too."
Steve looked down at Lydia, who was clutching the front of his shirt for dear life, eyes wide as though she believed that where she was was the only safe place in the world.
" i'm going to draw blood from her foot for some tests. Make sure you have a good hold on her."
Like he'd have any other kind of hold on her. But, he held out her ankle as instructed. The nurse wiped the bottom of her foot with an alcohol wipe, before pressing the needle into her skin.
To which Lydia cried. No intro, just immediate screams. The blood sample was quick, but that meant nothing to her.
" Aww, sweetheart, I'm sorry."
The look on her face was of pure horror. Only a moment ago, she was pleasant, being held y her dad. Now, she looked at him like this was his fault, and he was the one letting it happened, but he couldn't agree more. Steve lifted the baby higher on his chest, so that her head was closer to his shoulder. The nurse watched as Steve walked in circles, calmly soothing the unhappy infant. With each step, each word he whispered to her, her cries became less and less. Soon, she slumped on to his shoulder and fell asleep.
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Natasha and Lydia were going home. Natasha, Lydia, and Steve were going home. Both the ladies were medically cleared, and the parents would soon be released to keep their child alive on their own. The real stuff was about to begin.
" Are we sure we're ready for this?" Natasha asked, sitting cross legged on the bed.
Steve was packing both her and Lydia's things (two days old, and she had her own things) into the duffel bag that they had brought. To think that gender neutral baby clothes were now a thing of the past.
" Probably not, but, it's not like we can return her," he looked over at Natasha, who was clearly not getting the joke, " we'll be fine."
Natasha leaned over to glance at Lydia, who was all swaddled and cozy. " I like knowing that she's cleared to go home because of you, but, what if we forget to feed her?"
" We never forget to feed Tony." Steve leaned over and lightly kissed her on the cheek, " we won't forget to feed her, or change her. And despite that bad dream I had, I'm pretty sure we won't forget where we put her."
Natasha continued to watch the slumbering baby. Between her and Steve, they saved thousands, maybe millions. Now, only protecting one person...that was going to be the difficult mission.
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