Ok, hi again, faster update today cause I've finally got a word processor! Yay! Ok so last chap was really a sort of warm up filler chap because I was out of action for so long : ( So here it is, it's Fang : ) It may help to reread the second last chapter because otherwise it could be a little confusing : S the whole Angel thing is my reference in case anyone gets lost or confused and I appreciate that it has been sometime since most people will have read this. So on with the show :P
Fang's POV
I stretched my arms wide and swung my legs slightly. The tree branch I sat on, wide enough to comfortably accommodate both Angel and I, swayed lightly with the momentum of my limbs and gave me a comforting rocking sensation. I stared out at the dark vista before me, the moonlight sprinkled over the roof of the house and the tips of the mountains surrounding it and the wind rustled through the grass and leaves around me. Max and Iggy were sleeping upright, on the branch opposite ours, their backs holding each other up. I watched Iggy reach forward in his sleep and Max slide deeper down onto the branch, a small subconscious frown on her face.
'Angel?' I thought.
Silence.
I rolled my eyes. 'Angel I know you're listening to my thoughts'
"Am not."
'Exactly.' I sighed. 'What is up with you lately?'
"Nothing, I'm fine."
'Angel I swear, if you lie to me one more time I will not be responsible for my actions.' I thought darkly. 'You're lying, you're invading on my thoughts constantly, and you're purposefully upsetting Max. So spill. What - is - wrong?'
"There's nothing wrong with me." She sent back sharply. "I'm not the one who's dying. She is."
My jaw set and I watched as Max, unaware of Angel's bitter comment, shifted in her sleep, her hand unclenching and her mouth twitching into a sweet smile. Bittersweet for me, watching with the painful knowledge that soon all I would have was a failing memory of her.
'She's not dead yet!' I retorted 'And you'd better not forget it! Now tell me what is hurting you Angel, I want to help.'
"You can't help me," the thought reverberated around my head in a cutting whisper, "you can't even help yourself! You are a pitiful excuse for a human being right now, useful to no one."
My fist began to clench, but I realised then that that was exactly what she wanted, she wanted me to be hurt, she wanted me to be angry, she wanted me to feel like she did.
Who knew that eventually all those therapy sessions I'd had at the orphanage would actually come in handy some day?
'Hurting me, isn't going to make you feel any better.' I nudged the thought in her direction lightly, my mind beginning to get used to the idea of another presence. 'In fact, in the long run it will only make you feel guilty and then it will get worse.'
"I don't want it anymore Fang take it away like you take yours away!" She screamed suddenly in my mind "Make them go away!"
'Woah, woah,' I turned to Angel beside me. Her eyes were squeezed tight and her body curled up in a ball, her arms locked around her knees. I put my hand softly on her hand and spoke softly.
"Take what away?" I asked carefully. "What do I take away?"
"Your feelings," She sobbed. "How do you do it Fang? How do you make it all go away? All the pain, the hurt, the fear, the love. I don't want to feel anymore. I don't want to." Tears began to stream down the ten year old's face, her body shaking with each sob.
I stared at her stunned. Had I even fooled the mindreader? Had I been so good at hiding emotions that they had escaped even Angel? More importantly, when did things get this bad? Since when did Angel want to be numb?
I reached out and put my arms around my little sister.
"Angel, I can't." I said sadly.
"Yes you can!" She cried. "You did it! Tell me how!"
"I never made them go away Angel, I just kept them separately from my reactions. I still felt them I just ignored them. And Angel it's not healthy and when they get back out, it hurts more than anything. You can't suppress them forever. Eventually they seep back in and when they do you don't know how to deal with them. You can't control them anymore and they rip through you destroying all your defenses."
"No!" She sobbed. "You're lying! I can't feel your feelings in you! They're not there, make me like you!"
"You want to be like me? You want to feel like this?" I growled and I truly opened my mind to her. I let her into the hidden corner of my mind where I kept my feelings. I let her see the damage they had wrought on my soul. I showed her my anger, my hatred, my pain, my suffering, and my fear. I felt her shudder violently and her presence faded from my mind completely. I opened my eyes and she was staring at me, her eyes shimmering with tears and fear.
"I didn't know," She choked out, "I'm so sorry."
I nodded and with that I turned away, returning silently to my watch. I saw Max shift again out of the corner of my eye and I felt Angel turn away from me to sleep. Gazzy let out a small snore as Nudge shuffled nearer to the trunk of the tree and the wind continued to rustle through the trees. Soon I heard the quiet sound of Angel's breathing slow and I knew she'd fallen asleep.
I was left alone, among the moonlit peaks and the rustling leaves, to contemplate that deep corner of my mind and the clawing fear that resided there.
Alex shot up and gulped in air, his mind screaming in pain. He saw his own hand reaching far out in front of him, grasping for a life line.
"Lily" He breathed.
He could still feel the intense pain up and down his body from lying in that bright cage. He checked his hand for the deep, angry burns he had seen only seconds before but they were gone now, his skin had returned to it's natural soft tan colour.
It had been a dream, nothing but a dream.
He shook his head and rubbed his tired eyes, leaning forward to balance himself on the hard, dusty ground. He stood up and desperate for a glass of water, headed to the stream he could hear flowing nearby.
Two pairs of violet eyes followed his every move from their corner of the camp.
The twins turned to each other wordlessly and rose as one. Their hands clasped they walked after Alex, leaving behind only Clarissa, fast asleep on the forest floor, her black tattoos moving restlessly, showing her dreams to the world.
Nick and Amber silently followed Alex to the waterside, where he splashed his face with water. The droplets ran through his flaming hair as he stared at the water, breathing heavily. Suddenly, he lashed out, smashing his image in the river and howling in frustration. The twins flinched away, his pain seeping through the barriers they had erected between his mind and theirs. They felt Clarissa stir, back in the clearing, and her surprise at their absence. Glancing at each other the twins sent out a wave of calmness to their surrogate family members.
'His nightmares are getting worse.' Amber noted to her twin.
'There's nothing we can do.' Nick replied soundlessly. 'He must grieve.'
'It seems wrong to grieve for one who is not yet dead.'
'Can we die?'
'We grow so quickly, it seems hard to believe that we cannot.'
The two watched Alex as he stood, still unaware of their stare. He was at least a foot taller than he had been only the week before. He no longer looked like an eight year old boy, but like a teenager of fifteen. They themselves resembled children no younger than twelve, despite only having six years of earthly existence.
As their leader turned back to their clearing, the two followed soundlessly, their thoughts flying between them, in an attempt to figure out their life expectancy at the rate they were currently aging. Upon arriving at the camp they lay down beside Clarissa and shared their dreams.
Ok. You like? I know it took a while, but I did have quite a bit of work to do so this was as early as I could make it. I hope this works seeing as it's pages and not word, but here's hoping :D Thanks for Reading. Cat
