Chapter 53: Eleven Days

A/N: Trina Chapter!

July 21, 2012

"He's right on schedule." The doctor says while she's giving me an ultra sound. "His downward position is good, you won't have a problem with that. You'll be eight months in about a week mademoiselle. You're going to be right on schedule with the birth. August 12, is about right." She confirms as we finish up.

"So he's healthy…?" Michael asks, I don't think he took his eyes from the screen.

"Yes the child is healthy, though he's a little smaller than I like, but the important thing is he's healthy." I took a breath of relief. I thought the long flight here would put strain on him, thank God it didn't. After more questions and answers, Michael went up front and paid her receptionist than came back to help me dress.

"Thank you Doctor Pierre." I say and we left her office. In the past month and a half we furnished the house, created a beautiful room for Nicky and established ourselves in our new community. I've gotten to know my neighbors, participated in neighborhood activities and helped in bakes sales, my neighbors are very nice.

Especially the men.

I don't want to tell Michael but the men here have lingering eyes, even the ones with wives. Our neighbor next door is also American. He says that when he first moved here, the women were all over him.

He also said that I'm viewed as exotic here. The majority of Monegasque citizens are from all over Europe and only less than 4 percent are Americans.

"Less than a month we'll be mommy and daddy." Michael smiles and kiss my nose.

"Or mama and papa." I beam. That's what the children call their parent here.

I like it.

"Ummm…I like that." We kiss and get in our new SUV. It was weird driving it at first. With the steering wheel on the right side of the SUV, it confused me, a lot. It's a 2013 white Cadillac Escalade with silver trimming. It has two TV's, a big sun roof and a great digital system. The part I love the most is the soft rust colored seats.

I love this truck. Plus, Monaco is small so we don't have to fill up that often. It only takes us ten minutes to get home.

"Maybe we should begin our planning, for when I go into labor." I ask while getting juice from the fridge.

"Yeah, like a packed suitcase and stuff?" I nod going into the living room.

"I'm gonna have the baby in less than a month and we don't even have a maternity bag." I stressed.

"Hey, at least we got his room together." He adds rubbing my stomach.

"We need a check list and aahhhh." I breathed softly.

"Trina?" Michael says getting in front of me caressing my face. Nicky has been kicking lately.

"I'm fine…" I sigh to him and lay back on the sofa.

"No you're not, Dr. Pierre says to stay off your feet." He says and picks me up.

"Michael! Put me down." I laughed. Every time Nicky moves a little too hard he carries me off to bed.

"You have too much on your shoulders. You're not in this alone." I breathe and take off my shirt and pants. Michael gets out one of his big t shirts. I've been wearing them for a while and loves when some of them have his scent on them.

"Don't worry about an emergency bag. We'll just make a list and go shopping tomorrow." I guess he's right, I have been on my feet a lot today.

"Leave it on…" I breathe when he reaches behind me.

"It'll be better if you take it off." He chuckles. He likes to poke me when I don't have a bra on. Especially when I'm in one of his tees.

"Better for whom, for me or for you?" I smile and slip it on.

"Well for you, because you'll be more comfortable and as for me…I just like it when you're all loose." He tickles me and fools around. Eventually he got my bra off.

"See…you know you like it." he tease. We haven't done anything since he proposed.

"I thought we were going to wait?" I ask softly while he nuzzles my boobs with his nose.

"Hmm, we don't have to…do it traditionally." I hunch my shoulder lightly. "It's not going to hurt the baby, I promise."

"I don't know Michael, I've never done that before…" he's been hinting at oral sex for a while, even before we left the U. S. I did say I'd do anything he wanted me to when we first made our agreement. But that's over now…

"We're going to be married soon, nothing's wrong with it. It's just a different way of sex." he breathes and kisses me.

"Michael…"

He smiles as he pulls my underwear down.

"Shhh…let me show you how good it is." I couldn't see his head because of my stomach and he…

"Ohhh…" I couldn't get anything else out. Nicky's moving again, he knows mommy's feeling great right now.

"Michael…Michael…" I yelp before I went limp.

He got in bed next to me smiling. "See how good that can be?"

I smiled while he kisses my neck.

"Have you done it before?" I ask shyly. He seems so…experienced.

"Yeah, to an ex. What about you? Have anyone…?" he asks. I'm not sure if I should speak about Jackson or what we did in private.

"Ummm…" I'm blushing, I can feel it.

"Tell me…I won't be angry." That's what I was worried about.

"My ex…he liked stuff like that."

"Oral sex?"

"Yes, the first time he did it was when I had my first sexual encounter." I softly say while playing with his collar.

"So the rape wasn't your…"

"It was my first time, yes, but I had already seen a…guy." even though it was almost eight months ago, I'm still embarrassed to admit or acknowledge that some man raped me. The fact that I'm carrying my rapist child is hard enough on me.

"I wish I was there to protect you." He nuzzles my neck. I wish he was there too.

"No one could have known what was going to happen. Not even me…"

"Didn't your father teach you how to defend yourself?" he asks as he tightens his hold on me. I tuck my head underneath his chin and breathe in his scent.

"Yeah, he did. He taught me the most. I just…it was like everything went blank in my mind."

"I've had that feeling before. It made me feel stupid afterwards…"

"Me too." After what happened to me I felt brainless. I knew how to fight back, but he caught me by surprise.

"You're not stupid, don't ever think that." He caresses my face. Sometimes I don't believe that myself. I haven't felt more stupid than when it was happening. Being pushed against that beam, his body keeping me there while he sexually assaults me. I still have nightmares sometimes, some of them are as painful as the real thing.

It was like each and every thrust was a reminder of what everyone thought of me. All the mean things they'd say about me. All the hurtful words…

When I was helpless I've never felt so dirty when, of all people a stranger pushes his member in and out of me. It was the most painful and disgusting feeling ever. Especially when he ejaculated inside me. How could someone feel good enough to…while they're raping me?

"You ok?" Michael asks as I litely snivel.

"Yeah, why?' I breathe.

"You're crying…" he wipes away tears I had no idea was there. Thinking about it always made me cry.

"Oh, I'm sorry." I lean up and wipe the rest with my shirt.

"Don't be sorry, it's ok." He says softly…

I nod and kiss him. I don't care where his mouth been, I love him.

I'm going to be Michael's wife in eleven days and I want to be his wife in every way. I don't want to rob Michael of the intimacy we'll have behind closed doors.

I want to be able to sleep with him without thinking about that night. I want to enjoy him in intimate moments when it's just us.

All his wants and needs, I want to satisfy him and please him any way he likes.

But…how could I when the very thought of taking on this new life with him still, in some ways, scare me. Sometimes being alone with him scares me. I know I could never tell that to him but I can't help it. The last thing he needs is to be afraid to touch me in the bedroom.

"You know that…I'd do anything to please you right?" I look up to him.

"Of course baby." He breathes to me.

"You're my husband and I should always be able to please…right?" It is a wife's duty.

"We're getting married in eleven days…I'm going to be your wife and I want to please you any way you'd like me too." I smiled. "Even if it means oral sex…if you like it, then I'm sure I'll enjoy giving it to you." I kissed him and caress his chest.

"Are you sure? I don't want you to do anything you don't feel comfortable doing…." He breathes and touches me.

"I'm comfortable with pleasing you…" I say and pull off my shirt.

We look at each other for a moment before I got to walk around the bed to his side. Michael swings his legs to the side of our bed and stands me between his legs.

"Are you sure?" he asks. I nod once, I have to get over November. I'm going to be a married woman on my eighteenth birthday on August 1st. My fear of the stranger ends now. It has to, I can't let him, whoever he is, ruin my life.

"Should…should I get on my knees?" I've seen stuff like that on the playboy channel. I was flipping through when a woman was doing it to a guy. I turned it off, that was when we first got digital TV. Dad blocked off those channels the next day.

"No…baby." He sat me down in bed and stands in front of me. I can feel my heart beat in my chest. He unzips and pulls himself in front of me. After getting the courage, I lower my head and…please him.

Just by the way he's moaning, I know he's enjoying it.

He reaches down for my hand to put on his shaft. After a few minutes he pushes me away as he came.

Ugh!

It goes on the floor. I grab a tissue and spit out what little went in my mouth.

I…I'll just have to get used to it. I'm a woman, I can do things like that now. I just hope he doesn't ask for it a lot.

"I want our wedding night to be perfect." I hear him say in the bedroom. I'm in the shower. I had to shower, especially after him…ugh. Even though it was a little, I felt like it got all over me.

"Are you alright?" he scares me from behind. "I didn't mean to scare you." He chuckles getting in the shower.

"Did…I do okay?" I hope he liked it.

"Yeah baby. You were amazing." he breathes. "Did you like it?"

"Ummm, yeah. I enjoyed it and happy I pleased you." I guess I'll learn to like it. It wasn't as nasty as I always thought it was, I did arouse myself while doing it. I can't let him know that I'm uncomfortable doing it, but I don't think I'm in a position to say no to him. He's going to be my husband, so I have to do these things for him.

We washed each other and decided to stay in the rest of the day.


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