Chapter Fifty: Contingencies

Two and a Half Years Earlier. 0645 Hours, June 15, 2550. Fort Charles Officers' Quarters, Cristoff Highlands. "The Plan," Planet Sistine.

Willis Hawk awoke to a shrill sound he didn't recognize at first in his sleepy state, but vaguely remembered hearing less than three hours ago. Without really thinking about it or even opening his eyes, he flipped over the pillow beneath his head and crammed the sides against his ears, willing the noise that had interrupted his sleep to fade.

Instead, it only got louder.

A voice thick with sleep beside him grumbled, "Your son definitely has a set of lungs on him, that's for sure." He heard the disgruntled tone change to one of amusement and affection. "I think I preferred it when he was kicking me in the womb. At least he was quiet about that."

Right, Willis thought to himself, finally emerging into full alertness now. My son…our son Gabriel was born five days ago. The thought still seemed new to the young first lieutenant, and he had no doubt that Cooper was still getting used to the idea as well. But a small smile formed on his face as soon as he'd realized it. That's my baby boy.

Though he still didn't open his eyes, he heard Natalie roll over in bed to face him. "It's your turn this time, Will."

Willis gave his wife a sleepy smirk in response. "I can't feed him, honey."

"Well, at least bring him over to me, will you? I'm so tired I'm afraid I might accidentally drop him or something."

Hawk mumbled something about being equally exhausted, but pushed the pillow off his head and slowly ambled over to the crib that had been set up near the foot of their bunk. Gabriel was still shrieking inside.

"All right, all right," Willis said gently as he picked up his newborn son and held him close. "Don't act like you're so starved. I love you, buddy, but you just ate a couple hours ago, and you've been eating pretty frequently every night. I know because Mommy and I haven't been able to get a wink of sleep since you were born."

He heard Natalie chuckle as she sat up. "This is the feeding schedule all newborns have, Will. I'm pretty sure it's designed to turn their parents into living zombies."

"I guess I should be glad I'm flying back to my own base today, then? I'm sure I'll get more sleep while I'm on duty with the rest of the squadron than I do here." He paused as he handed Gabriel over to his mother, and the sudden thought of having to leave his son soon made his heart clench. "Damn. I'm going to miss the little guy like crazy, though."

Willis had already crossed back to the other side of the room and gotten under the covers again by the time Natalie replied.

"I've got three more weeks of light duty here on base until I have to ship out to Lacino and rejoin my unit there. I heard the fighting's getting pretty bad, so I'll be going in with a batch of new replacements." Her tone went quiet as she glanced down at their baby son while he fed. "I don't know how I'm ever going to be able to leave him though, Will. He won't be big enough yet – he'll only be a month old. He'll still need me."

Hawk furrowed his brows, looking puzzled. "How…what's Gabe supposed to eat when you're gone?"

"I told you my mom's going to take him, and she said she's already got baby formula and a bottle and everything else ready for him. She'll watch him for as long as she can, and then she'll bring him over to your parents' so they can have him for a while, too."

"What about…you?"

Cooper tried to shrug, but thought better of it when Gabe protested the motion. "I have to get a shot before I ship out to stop lactating. Nothing too – " She glanced over at Willis, noticed he was frowning now, and grabbed his pillow with her free hand to smack him with it as she grinned. "Hey, you're the one who asked."

Hawk chuckled, the sound muffled by the pillow in his face. "Yeah, and now I really wish I hadn't."

They were both quiet for a while as their son ate. When he was done, Cooper pulled her pajama shirt back down and replaced Gabe's small pacifier, rocking him a little until he fell back asleep. Knowing he had to get up soon to pack anyway, and seeing as he was already awake now, Willis started to get out of bed when Natalie placed a hand on his arm to stop him.

"What is it, Cooper?"

Her expression grew somber. "We have to talk about something before you leave."

"What?"

"It's not something...pleasant, but given our circumstances, it's not really anything we can avoid, either."

Willis sighed and sat back down to face her, tired but also curious. "Ok. I'm listening, Coop."

Natalie struggled for a minute with whatever it was she wanted to say before she spoke again. This time, Willis could see the amount of control it took for her to keep her voice steady. "We need to come up with a plan, Will. We have a son to think about now who needs to be taken care of even if we're not able to do it ourselves. And we can't afford to pretend that it won't happen to us someday." She took in a deep breath. "We're both on the frontlines a lot, Will. No matter how much we might not want to think about it, realistically it's only a matter of time."

"Cooper, what are you talking about?"

"We need a plan in case…in case one of us doesn't come back."

Though the sharp pain in his chest intensified, Willis smiled at his wife and put his arm around her, as much to reassure her as to reassure himself. "That's what you're worried about? We're going to be ok, Coop. We'll do our tours and even if it's not for a long time, we'll eventually get shore leave again and get to visit Gabe. It's…going to be really hard to be away from him, but that doesn't mean we won't ever see him again."

Natalie didn't respond as Hawk thought she would, though. Where before she'd readily accepted and even welcomed his assurances, now she gently pushed him away.

"Willis, I'm serious about this. What happens if you get shot down tomorrow, or I get killed next month? What happens to Gabe if he doesn't have one or even either of his parents alive to raise him anymore?"

Willis stood from the bed then without answering, instead going over to the small closet to pull out his duffel bag. He'd already piled in a good amount of his clothes before he said sharply, "I don't even want to think…I don't even want to think about anything happening to you, Natalie, or to us that would make our son an orphan. It's not going to happen."

Natalie snorted. "Yeah, because it's so much better to live in denial and ignore it. That way when the problem does arise, whoever's left behind'll have to try to figure everything out alone on top of dealing with intense grief from the loss."

That made Hawk pause. He knew a lot of Natalie's present worries could be attributed to lingering postpartum hormones, or lack of sleep, or the stress that came with having a new baby. It was a solid bet that it was probably a combination of the three. But deep down, he also knew that these were things they should have talked about before, too, and were just too much of the eternal optimists to give the subject its deserved attention. Now that Gabriel had been born seemed a good time as any to address it.

So Willis turned to his wife again and heaved another long sigh. "All right, Cooper. You're right. But what can we do about it? What do you want to have happen?"

"If something happens to both of us, all of our backed up pay and hazardous duty bonuses go to Gabe, so that he'll have a little something to sit on as he grows up."

"Already done, Coop. And if it's just me I've left you and him all I have, and you left what's yours to me and him if it's you. What else?"

"My mom and your parents will probably want to be his guardians if neither of us...are here. But my mom works a lot and can have unsteady hours, Will. She's also subject to moving whenever the job might need her to. I don't know that she'd be able to handle anything too long-term."

Hawk nodded. "My parents can take Gabe then. Your old house on Mars is only a fifteen-minute drive from mine, so as long as your mom's there, it won't be hard for her to go visit them. And you know she'd be welcome any time." Willis gave Cooper a look. "Plus my parents' jobs and lives are a lot more stable than your mom's. I think that kind of environment would be better for Gabe."

Natalie acknowledged with a nod of her own, but didn't say anything in reply. She was looking down at their infant son now as he slept in her arms, and Willis saw her eyes begin to cloud with unshed tears. Hawk went over to her in an instant and leaned down to press his forehead against hers.

"Make sure he remembers me, Will, if I'm the one to go," she whispered. "Make sure he knows how much I love him and how much I wish I could be there for him."

"Of course, Natalie. And I want you to do the same for me, if I don't make it." He placed a soft kiss on her lips, one he was gratified that she returned. "But try not to worry so much. There's a good chance we'll never have to think about this again. We had each other to fight for before, and it was strong enough that we did it. We've been fighting for three years now, Coop. Three years of hard combat, and we're still here. Can you imagine how hard we're going to fight, not only to end this war but to survive it, now that we've got this little guy waiting for us back home?"

But, much to his surprise and in an entirely uncharacteristic move, Natalie pulled away from him again and shook her head. "That doesn't make us invincible, Willis. It just gives us one more thing to lose."