Another month passed, and Sheldon woke up one morning to Amy crying.
"Amy?" He asked, alarmed. "What's wrong?"
She was stood in front of the mirror, looking down at herself.
"It's happening!" She wept.
Sheldon frowned. "What is?"
"I'm getting fat!" Amy broke down again, and Sheldon looked mildly horrified, unsure of what to do.
"Is this weeping something that can be expected with pregnancy?" He asked.
"No, Sheldon. I'm happy, happy, happy!" Amy snapped back.
"Was that sarcasm?"
"YES IT WAS SARCASM!"
Sheldon blinked. "Forgive me, but I thought that this weepy, snappy behaviour came from when a woman was going through her menses?"
"Yes, it happens when we're pregnant too, but worse."
"Well Good Lord." Sheldon muttered. "If I'd have known this before we agreed to have a child, I could have prepared myself."
Amy glared at him. "Are you saying that you want me to have an abortion?"
Sheldon looked at his wife like she was crazy. "No! Of course not. That's not what I…"
Before he could finish, Amy had kneed him in the groin, causing him to sink to the floor. She stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her.
Moments later, Leonard opened Sheldon's bedroom door.
"What the hell is going on?...Oh my God; Sheldon are you okay?" He kneeled down where his roommate was sprawled on the floor, hands between his legs.
"The fact that I am laying on what could be a germ-infested floor would suggest otherwise." Sheldon squeaked in reply.
"Did Amy kick you in the groin?" Leonard asked, helping Sheldon to his feet.
Sheldon, still winded, shook his head. "No…She kneed me!"
"Why?"
"She took something I said the wrong way."
Leonard raised an eyebrow. "Really? Did she really take it the wrong way, or did you say actually something insensitive?"
"Amy was weepy this morning, I asked what was wrong, so she told me she thinks she looks fat. I asked her if the whole weeping and getting angry thing was to be expected. She said yes, so I replied that if I had known in advance, I could have prepared myself. She took it the wrong way, and attacked my genitals." Sheldon explained, slowly seating himself on his bed. "This may well be our only child Leonard. She hit me so hard, it's possible I may be infertile."
Leonard rolled his eyes. "I highly doubt it. Well…You could have been a little more sensitive to her feelings."
"What do you mean?" Sheldon questioned.
"I mean, instead of asking if crying and getting mad are expected during pregnancy, you could have asked if she needed anything, and told her she doesn't look fat." Leonard replied.
"Oh…I didn't think of that. Would that have provided different results?"
"Well, for one, she would still be in here and not over at Penny's right now, and two, you wouldn't be clutching your penis right now."
"She's over at Penny's?" Sheldon looked genuinely afraid.
"Yeah, I saw her storm over there…Why?" Leonard frowned.
Sheldon swallowed. "If she's gone over to Penny's, then that means that…"
"Sheldon Cooper you insensitive bastard!" Penny's voice rang through the apartment from the front door.
Leonard stared at Sheldon.
"Well…It was nice knowing you Leonard." Sheldon shuffled over to the window and opened it.
"What are you doing? Come back here and face up to it!" Leonard rolled his eyes, holding Sheldon back by his pyjama top and closing the window again.
Penny walked into Sheldon's room. "There you are. I have a bone to pick with you…"
"Penny, I appreciate that you're trying to stick up for Amy, but this really isn't your argument." Sheldon said reasonably. He looked to Amy who was standing sheepishly behind Penny. "For the record, Amy, I'm sorry I wasn't more sensitive to your feelings. All I meant by my comment was that I could be more prepared on how to deal with it. I would never ask you to get rid of our baby."
Amy nodded. "Thank you Sheldon. And I'm sorry for overreacting and hitting you in your genital regions…And for the record, I did tell Penny not to come over here and yell at you."
"That's true." Penny nodded, "But how about I kick him too, instead?"
"Not necessary." Amy intervened, as Sheldon backed up, holding his crotch again. "Thank you anyway."
"Penny, I love you, but you can't keep flying off the handle at Sheldon like that; you know how he is." Leonard said.
Penny sighed. "I guess you're right. But please, Sheldon, think before you speak in future. You're a smart man, use some of that intelligence to realise what is and isn't okay to say to people. Amy is my best friend and I don't want to see her upset."
"Noted." Sheldon nodded.
Penny gave him a small smile, before taking Leonard's hand and leaving Amy and Sheldon alone in their room.
There was a few moments' silence before Sheldon spoke; "I am sorry, you know." He said, softly.
"I know." Amy nodded.
"And you're not fat. It's just the baby. It will go once you've given birth."
Amy shook her head. "No it won't."
"It will if you stick to a regime."
"I won't have time. I'll have a baby to look after." She sighed.
"I'll be around…" Sheldon said, a little sadly. "I helped to create this, do you really think I would make you do all the work?"
Amy looked up into his eyes. "R-Really?"
"Of course 'really'."
"But…You work. They need you."
"I can home-commute when I need to... As can you."
Amy flung her arms around his neck, burying her face into his shoulder, breathing in the comforting smell of talcum powder and his Darth Vader shampoo.
"I guess you're right anyway…About the whole weight thing." Amy said, leaning back to look at her husband.
"Of course I'm right." Sheldon snorted.
Amy rolled her eyes. "No, I mean…I'm only ten weeks pregnant. This is nothing, just a tiny bump."
Sheldon didn't say anything; he just looked down at Amy's stomach.
"I can't wait! In two weeks, we'll be getting its first ultrasound scan! Then we can officially tell everyone!" She grinned.
"Hmm…" Sheldon replied, pursing his lips.
"What?" Amy inquired.
"I just wonder how my mother will take it." He said.
"It's her first grandchild. You said she's always wanted one, and we are married, so it's not like it's a sin or anything." Amy shrugged.
"I suppose." Sheldon nodded. "What about your mother?"
Amy bit her lip. "She may be a tougher nut to crack."
"I thought she liked me?" Sheldon asked.
"She does! It's just that she's always been extremely overprotective of me." Amy confessed.
"Ah…And if that's the case I'm not sure she's likely to be happy about hearing; 'Mom, guess what? My new husband gave me a good seeing to, and now I'm carrying his baby!'" Sheldon groaned.
Amy giggled. "Well, I wouldn't phrase it like that, but…I don't know how she'll react."
"Well, we have another two weeks before we can worry about that. Besides, it's not like they can force us to get rid of the baby" Sheldon answered. "Now, I don't know about you, but I don't want to waste my Saturday worrying about trivial things, what do you say we visit the zoo?"
..
Amy was stood in front of the giraffe enclosure at the zoo, arms folded.
"Here…Sorry I took so long, there was a bit of a line at the refreshment stand." Sheldon said, approaching with two bottles of cold water, and handing one to Amy.
"Thanks Sheldon…Look, I found you!" She giggled.
Sheldon frowned, and then gave Amy a withering look, after she pointed to the giraffe.
"Very funny. Well I found you!" He turned around and pointed to the wild fox enclosure.
Amy laughed, snapping some pictures of the animals on her camera.
"Why do you call me a vixen?" Amy asked.
"Because you're cheeky…And foxy!" Sheldon smiled, grabbing her round the waist.
Suddenly, realising that they were in public, he let go and stood back, awkwardly.
"You can perform public displays of affection, you know." Amy whispered.
"You know that's not in my nature." Sheldon whispered back.
"We're married now. Make it your nature!" Amy grabbed him by the back of his head and pulled him down for a kiss.
At first, he was too shocked to respond, but he soon got lost in the kiss and wrapped his arms around Amy's waist.
"Amy Fowler? Is that you?"
A female voice disrupted the couple, and they turned their heads.
Amy's expression turned icy.
"Hello Cathy." She said through gritted teeth.
"You have a boyfriend? Never thought that would happen." Cathy sneered.
"I'm actually her husband, and it's Amy Cooper." Sheldon replied, sensing that Amy didn't want to be around this woman, so he took her hand and turned around.
"It's been so long since school…Do you really need to be so frosty?" Cathy asked, grabbing Amy's arm.
"Do you really need to ask?" Amy snapped back, shaking the other woman off. "Come on, Sheldon." She turned to walk away.
Cathy ran after her. "Amy! I'm talking to you." She got aggressive.
Amy stood her ground. "Not here, Cathy!" She said, firmly. "Not ever."
Sheldon felt a rush of something inside him, which told him to protect his wife and unborn baby; this woman was clearly a threat.
He stepped in front of Amy. "Leave her alone." He said staring down at the woman.
Cathy raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Relax. I'm trying to mend fences, aren't I Amy?"
Amy snorted. "Couldn't you just leave it? We haven't seen in each other in years, and I'd like to keep it that way." She gripped Sheldon's hand tightly and walked away again, her heart pounding.
Sheldon glared at the dark brunette woman as they walked away.
"Are you alright?" He whispered, as they came to a stop by the zebras.
Amy nodded.
Sheldon let his hand slip to cradle the slight bump where Amy had begun showing.
"Whoa. Don't tell me you're pregnant too!" Cathy laughed, having caught up with them.
"What is it to you? I told you to leave!" Sheldon hissed.
"And again, I'm talking to Amy!" Cathy tried to get in Sheldon's face and something inside him snapped.
"Get…Away…From her!" He began to tremble with rage, his eyes menacing as he stared Cathy out.
Cathy started to look genuinely nervous now.
"I still haven't gotten over you telling on me, Gorilla Fingers!" Cathy snarled at Amy.
"You have problems. Leave us alone; High School was years ago now, and you're supposed to be an adult." Amy shook her head.
"Not until I've got you back for tattling!" Cathy lunged at Amy, but Sheldon managed to put his arm in the way just in time.
"Move, you lanky ass!" The dark brunette spat at Sheldon.
"With pleasure." Sheldon took Amy's hand and walked away, still shielding her.
"I MEANT MOVE SO I CAN GET HER!" Cathy yelled.
"She's nuts!" Amy shook her head.
"I have an idea." Sheldon muttered, making his way over to the Capuchin monkey cages.
"What would that be?" Amy asked.
"Trust me…You taught me this." Sheldon replied.
Cathy approached the couple again, her body language clearly designed to intimidate Amy and Sheldon.
The monkeys started to go crazy as Cathy approached, shouting and trying to corner Amy.
Sheldon still shielded his wife, keeping his eyes on the monkeys.
He smiled a little as he saw the screeching monkeys approach the bars.
They immediately began to fling their waste at Cathy, who screamed loudly.
"Sheldon, this was a brilliant idea!" Amy laughed, watching Cathy cowering and trying to dodge all of the poop being thrown at her by the horde of angry Capuchins.
"It's like you said; if an interloper invades their territory, being threatening or intimidating, monkeys will react just as aggressively." Sheldon muttered in response.
At one point, Cathy got hit, and it went in her hair.
Screaming loudly, she abandoned her attack on Amy and ran away.
Amy and Sheldon were in fits of laughter.
Amy approached the cage slowly, talking softly to the monkeys. "Well done!" She said, softly, as the Capuchins gathered at the foot of the cage and on the branches, cocking their heads, inquisitively.
"Good boys and girls!" Amy smiled, taking a picture of them before they returned to their game.
"You know, Sheldon, that whole Texan 'protect your woman' thing today, may well have just earned you a reward tonight." Amy winked as she took his hand again, moving on to the next animal enclosure.
"So have I made up for this morning?" He asked.
"You've more than made up for this morning." Amy grinned, leaning up to kiss him softly.
