I sat in the back of the car with Jared. Paul was driving, while Lily controlled the radio from the front passenger seat. It was a difficult drive, because I knew it would be the last time I saw all of these guys for a while but I couldn't get my attention off Jared. He was the one that I would miss the most.
When I'd woken this morning there was a blanket around us. It was a good thing too because it had taken Leah physically shaking me to wake both of us, if we'd still been exposed then it would have made the whole thing incredibly awkward. I had been tempted to pretend that I was still too tired to get up and miss my flight but I knew that I couldn't do that.
I kind of wished that I had never come here. Then I wouldn't have to leave and I wouldn't feel this awkward. But I couldn't really wish for that. Because then I wouldn't have met Jared and I'd still be the fat loser that I'd been when I first came to America.
This morning I had realised that my clothes were way too big for me. I had to borrow one of Leah's belts to hold my jeans up. Which was something I have never done before, in fact I don't think I've ever bought a smaller belt in my life. I don't know how I didn't realise how baggy my clothes were before this but I had a feeling some of it was to do with not caring anymore.
We had just exited a bizarre network of criss-crossing roads, like a round-a-bout that thought round wasn't intricate enough. That meant we were about five minutes from the airport. I checked the clock. I would be alone on a plane for LA International in just two and a half hours.
Jared tightened the hug around my shoulders, "You okay?"
I nodded and leant into him.
"Oh, so sweet." Paul mocked as he glanced over his shoulder at us, "Isn't it horrible that the love birds have to be away from each other?"
Jared took the bait, "Shut up, Paul. You're just jealous."
"I've got nothing to be jealous of, I've got Rachel now." Paul said smugly.
That was something that made me very happy. Angry little Paul, not that I'd call him that to his face, had imprinted, a few months ago. For the most part he had eased up on teasing me and Jared but it wasn't in him to entirely stop.
I liked Rachel, she was intelligent and independent. From the moment I met her I knew that she would be good for Paul. While Paul had never been particularly angry around me, he was definitely a lot happier and more willing to let things go, now that he had Rachel. I liked her a hell of a lot more than I liked her brother.
Jacob had confused the crap out of everyone when he imprinted on Renesmée, Bella's half vampire offspring. And seeing how he spent every day with the Cullens now, I rarely saw him. I didn't hate Jacob, imprinting couldn't be controlled, but I couldn't understand his behaviour. It didn't concern me all that much though, as I'd never been particularly close with Jacob. I guess it was more that I didn't know Jacob.
So much had happened of late that I tended to forget a lot of it, and exactly what happened. Jared liked that I wasn't too involved in it all, because it meant he could pretend that some of it didn't exist. I liked being able to comfort Jared so I had stopped asking questions about most things. I got my in tell from Emily and Paul for the most part, and they were fairly sparse on details so there wasn't ever much to know.
Paul had imprinted and Jacob had imprinted, I was happy to keep it, that that was all there was to know. Otherwise my head might explode from information overload.
Everything had calmed down over the last few weeks, although Leah and Seth were still living at the Cullens, and Embry was considering making the move. Quil would have already if he hadn't imprinted on Claire.
The one thing that I was keeping up with was the imprinting. There were five imprinted 'couples' now, including two relationships which were more brotherly than romantic. I'd been yelled at for suggesting that it might be possible for two guys to imprint on one another, because everyone claimed to be straight and were offended by the insinuation that they weren't.
Most of the guys were suddenly scared of being in a relationship with anyone, for fear they would imprint and hurt their original partner, just like what had happened between Leah and Sam. I told them not to be so silly, that they couldn't stop living their life because of something as uncertain as imprinting, but they didn't listen.
Leah was looking for her imprint and she was desperate to find him, or her. Leah was willing to imprint on anyone, she was still hurting over losing Sam although she said that she felt better since getting Sam out of her head. She just wanted to feel happy again and I understood that. I suggested she should come to Australia and meet my family and friends, or just spend a few weeks in Melbourne or Sydney. If Jared could imprint on an Aussie than why couldn't Leah?
"So when are you looking at coming back?" Lily asked as she turned in her seat to look at Jared and I.
I sighed, "I don't know. It depends on when I get a chance to talk to my father."
"You could tell him straight away." Jared said as he watched me carefully.
That sounded like a lovely idea but my Dad wasn't good with surprises, "Yeah, I'll just walk through the front door and announce my undying love for an American teenager. Then tell him how I won't be staying for long and will probably leave for the US the day after my exams so that we can live happily together for forever and ever."
"Well, you might want to be a bit more subtle than that." Jared laughed.
Lily smirked at me, "Did you just say 'undying love'?"
I often forgot that Lily didn't know about imprinting and she thought this was just a teenage fling. Although she hadn't forgotten that I was engaged to be engaged to Jared, should I ever come back to the States. It was clear that she thought I would get back to Australia and slowly forget that Jared even existed. How simple that would be...
"You did too." Jared crooned, "I like the sound of that. Do you think it will bring you back?"
"I don't know... I might find a better offer in Australia." I teased. Jared tensed at that and I hugged him softly, "I'm joking."
Paul pulled into a free parking space and we all jumped out of the car. Jared carried my bag, despite my protests that I was strong enough to carry it myself. Lily bounced around as we made our way to check-in, when she got nervous she got giddy.
After waiting in the long queue for a half hour, I was able to check-in and was advised that boarding would start in just an hour and a half. To pass the time we went to the food court and got something to eat. I was hungry, despite having eaten a large breakfast at Emily's only three hours prior. And Jared and Paul would never turn their noses up at a meal.
I had a chicken burger and chips, or as Jared called it a burger and fries. I was finishing my chips when the conversation turned to my exams and how I felt about them. I was far from excited about having to do more exams, I'd already done one lot this year, and passed. I wished they counted for something.
"I'm not too anxious but I wish I didn't have to do it. I'm worried that I'll make a really big mistake and then my grades will suck." I sighed as I bit a fat chip in half.
Jared grabbed my chip-free hand, "You'll be fine. You're a genius."
I gave him a simple look of disbelief, "I'm far from a genius."
"You two are just so cute." Lily squealed and shivered in her chair, "I hope I have a relationship like yours one day."
Unless one of the guys imprinted on her that was unlikely to happen, although I did believe that she deserved to find love like what we had. I did wonder how different the love of an imprint was from traditional 'true love', they seemed to be very similar in my eyes. Only Jared wouldn't be so dependent on my presence if it were true love.
"I'm sure you will. Are you excited about University? Or College? Or whatever you call it?" I asked as I ate the last half of the chip.
Lily looked down at the half salad sandwich that she said she couldn't eat, "I'm not sure whether I'm going to go or not. I was thinking I might just head straight into the workforce."
"The workforce will still be around when you leave Uni." I argued. I wouldn't be going to University next year and that almost killed me. I'd always imagined going straight to Uni after high school, to think that wouldn't be the case was slightly depressing.
Lily laughed, "University will still be around next year."
I noticed Paul eyeing off Lily's remaining half of the sandwich, "Are you going to eat that?"
Lily shook her head and silently offered it to Paul. Who gratefully took it and wedged as much of it into his mouth as possible, "My God, you eat a lot. How are you not choking to death?"
"I breathe through my nose." Paul said as he chewed the sandwich.
It was clear that Lily didn't understand what he had said. It was another thing that you learnt around the Wolf Pack, how to understand mouth-full-of-food speech.
I laughed, "He said he breathes through his nose."
"Every time I see you guys together it amazes me. Are you sure you're not long lost siblings?" Lily giggled as she watched Paul shove the last portion of sandwich in his mouth.
I heard Jared growl softly, it never ceased to amaze me how much it annoyed him when people pointed out how well Paul and I got along. He knew that there was nothing going on and that Paul and my affections for one another were nothing more than friendly, and would never be more than that. Jared assured me that he knew I was faithful, and said that his jealousy was more protective than untrusting. He worried that someone would get close to me and then hurt me, either by making a move on me or somehow ruining the relationship.
Paul leant back in his chair with a content look on his face, "Nah, we don't fight enough to be siblings. Are you going to finish your fries?" He added with a glance at my basket of chips.
"Am I still eating them?"
Paul huffed, "You're letting Jared take some, I'm like your brother so why can't I have any?"
I pointed at Paul, "Like a brother..." then pointed at Jared, "Actually my boyfriend."
Jared stuck his tongue out at Paul and took another chip. He took his time putting it in his mouth, teasing Paul that he was allowed to have some when Paul wasn't. Paul did not look happy and I could see the anger and annoyance building in his eyes.
He shook his head and stood up, "I have money, I'll just buy my own." And he walked away to the fast-food stall that I'd gotten my chips and burger from.
"So, I have to ask, before I only get Jared's point of view on the matter... how serious is this?" Lily asked.
I looked at Jared, wondering how much I could safely tell her before she became suspicious. If I heard any of my friends describe how they felt about their boyfriend of a few months, the way I felt about Jared, I would be suspicious. I'd be very suspicious. I'm not sure what of but I know I would be.
Jared smiled at me, "It's serious to me."
"Yeah, it's serious." I sighed and Jared took my hand in his, again.
Lily squeaked and I looked at her in shock, "So cute!"
A bowl of chips landed to my right with a dull thud, "Do not encourage them." Paul grumbled as he sat down.
Five minutes later, Paul had finished his chips and we were on our way to Gate 3. It was about ten minutes until my flight would start boarding and every second that ticked by made me feel even more nauseous. I didn't want to go back to Australia. Not without Jared, anyway. I wished I hadn't told him to stay behind. Why did I always have to be so cautious?
The boarding call sounded just as we arrived at the Gate. I hugged Lily and Paul and they moved away so that Jared and I could have a semi-private farewell. Unsurprisingly the first thing we did was kiss, for so long that a second boarding call sounded before we pulled away from one another.
"I promise that I'll be back." I whispered as we held onto each other.
Jared pushed me away, "When you do, I'm going to propose. I don't see the point in postponing the inevitable." I smiled and hugged him. He whispered in my ear, "A thousand bucks says that we'll see each other before October ends."
I kissed him swiftly as I pulled away, "You've got a bet. I'm going to miss you."
"I already miss you." he sighed.
Another boarding call sounded and I stepped away from him. This hurt. More than it had hurt to leave my friends and family in Australia. This hurt more because I was leaving more. Jared was my future and I was leaving to go back to my past, it was stupid and painful.
He walked me to the gate and watched as I handed my ticket to the flight attendant. She smiled at us as Jared turned me around and gave me one final kiss. It was a sweet kiss but it had a bitter edge, because we knew that it would be a long time before we got to do this again.
I walked through the gate with a heavy heart and I could feel every part of me encouraging me to turn around and go back to him. It wasn't too late to change my mind, not really. Plenty of people lived in the United States without VISAs, why couldn't I join them? The walkway to the plane was directly in front of me, this was my last chance to look at Jared for the next... I didn't know how long.
"Just don't go looking for a better offer." Jared called over the flimsy partition that was keeping us apart.
I turned back towards him, "I couldn't find one if I tried."
