A very long chapter for you as promised. I have an exam coming up and will be unable to update next couple of weeks or so. If I do write something, you will be the first to know. You might see Major Freedman in next chapter or the next. Just a cameo, nothing serious but there.
Like it or not, enjoy it or not, review it or not, this is all you have till next time!
Chapter 54
Frank was in the shower.
"Morning Frank!"
"Pierce!" He nodded curtly. I smiled before getting into the other stall.
"How was your night, Frank?"
"Mind your own beeswax, Pierce!"
"I was serious." I could barely contain my smile.
"Sure you were serious. You think nobody else has a right to some female company, don't you?"
"Nope. Everybody has a right, Frank. Its just that I don't try to enact all ten commandments at the same time when it suits my mood."
"There is nothing wrong with religion, you know!"
"Oh no. Au contraire, I think religion is very good."
"No.You. Don't."
"Fine, Frank! You are the authority on hypocritical behavior. I cannot challenge your assumptions!"
"Go stuff a goose, Pierce."
"Turkey, Frank!"
"Watch.Your. Mouth. Pierce!"
"Huh?"
"Nobody calls me turkey!"
"Right! Here's an advice for you Frank. Don't try to speak without having a full night's sleep. You make less sense than usual and that's sayin' something!"
"Pierce! One of these days, you are going to regret everything you have ever said or done to me."
"I already am regretting almost all the things I have taught you, Frank!"
"You didn't teach me anything, Pierce."
"God knows I tried."
"I know full well how you turned Col. Potter against me."
"I did not even try. You shouldn't sell yourself short, Frank." I smiled when I saw him swell like...I could not come up with an appropriate analogy. His expressions of smugness were always fun to watch, even if somewhat annoying.
"You mean he is not against me."
"No Frank. All I am saying is, even if he is, trust me, I did not try. You did it all by yourself." He deflated and I chuckled again.
"You and McIntyre. I am glad he left. I was hoping they would send you to some other unit as well."
"Aww Frank! I thought you loved me."
"Hah! And I was actually having some good time with Hunnicut."
"Oh!" I wanted to hear him gloat some more. It was fun.
He smiled smugly, knowing he got me with that.
"I could discuss my problems with him. He is a good listener. I am amazed how he goes along with a delinquent like you."
"I have to drug him to keep him with me. I know you are irresistible, you big lug!"
He grinned and reminded me of a five year old daddy's girl and a buffoon. Even the idea was beyond disturbing.
"You know, if it were not for you running after McIntyre, Margaret and I had a plan for Hunnicut to train into our kind of real Army officers with duty and honor as the code!"
That was a new one. And to think BJ had spectacularly thrown up over Frank after calling him Ferret Face his first minute in the camp. The memory brought a grin on my face.
"What are you smiling about, Pierce?"
"Nothing. Just trying to imagine BJ in army boots and uniform and not his ugly shirt and suspenders, not to mention his sneakers."
"He had such promise." Frank whined wistfully. I secretly wondered if Frank had developed a crush on BJ. Maybe it was time I told BJ of his new fan.
"Maybe its not too late?" I baited Frank. Now this was fun. Almost as good as...Nah! Not as good. But close!
"You really think so?"
"Oh yeah! I really think so."
"You know Pierce. You may have a point. After all, he is not chasing every skirt in the camp like you and that idiot McIntyre!"
"Thats true. BJ does not even cheat on his wife like Trapper or Henry." I said meaningfully.
At this, Frank turned slightly pink. I chuckled at his discomfort.
"You know something, Pierce? Sometimes, you really come up with something good."
"Oh yeah, Frank. Part of my charm. Thats why you love me." I leaned towards him to prove my love to him but he was quick and stepped out of his stall really quickly. I cackled before returning to shaving and whistling Barber of Seville. Once I was done shaving, I decided to change the music for shower. Next on list was of course Carmen.
"Hadn't heard these notes in quite a long while." That was BJ, laughing as he entered the showers.
"Me neither. I thought I should start retraining as a singer."
"What's up with Frank? I think you have met him already? He seemed trifle bit irked, the kinda effect you have on him."
"Yeah. He has a crush on you." I informed BJ matter of factly.
"No kidding?" He smiled at this piece of info.
"Nope. I am serious." I smiled back.
"You were not home last night."
"Yeah."
"What happened? A date?"
"Nah. Frank happened. Creep! Started making out in front of me. You know how his lipless advances make me nauseous."
"Wow, he made you leave Swamp again?"
"Yeah. Son of a ...You know he is getting better at this than I had anticipated."
"At being you?" BJ chuckled and I glared at him.
"Maybe I am losing my touch, Beej."
"Don't worry about that. You are not."
"You really believe that?"
"Nope!"
"Thanks for nothing, Mister!"
"So where did you spend your night."
"You wouldn't believe if I told you."
"Try me."
"Post-op."
BJ chuckled again.
"Not funny. The beds are old friends of mine."
"So I hear. Did you look at Martins?"
"Yeah. Lungs were clear. Abdomen was silent. I continued on IV fluids and advised labs. Will wait for their results before starting on potassium. Wound was fine. So was IO and NG aspirate. Drain was mildly bloody. Maybe goes serous by tonight. What else?"
"Nothing, I think. Potter said you guys talked last night."
"Yeah. I needed to ask him when I could get back to work."
"Was that all?" He looked at me meaningfully.
"Yeah." I was finished with the shower by then. Water was not hot enough and I thought BJ deserved some of it too.
"You leaving?"
"Yeah."
"OK. So am I."
I waited for him to get out and then we both headed towards our tent together.
"Cummon. Lets have some breakfast." He said after we both got dressed.
"You are kidding, right? That slop is not worth eating when its fresh. And now its at least a month old."
"Don't think so. 5Am was not a month old."
"It was, in dog years!"
"Stop whining, Hawk. You wanna get back to work, suck it up!"
That made sense.
I dragged my feet alongside BJ.
"I will marry a woman who is a chef!"
"What makes you think she would wanna marry you?"
"Well, I will find a way. I will make her. In a lifetime of eating slop for food, this is the lowest point, ya know. Now, I am tired of eating crap for food."
"Yeah? Dr. Pierce not good?"
"NO, hell no. He sucks. He is worse than I am."
"Yeah? I find it hard to believe."
"Mom taught me a few things. She could never teach him anything."
"Hmmm. I never thought what I would do if I had to cook for myself."
"You would stink, just as I do."
"Yeah. I guess." He got that lost look on his face again. I felt sorry for him.
"Listen Beej. It will be alright. Maybe I can teach you what I know and you can cook for your family when you get home?"
"Sounds like a bad idea." He smiled forcibly.
"Hey! That was below the belt. I take umbrage." I retorted indignantly.
Mess was vacant.
"Take whatever you want. I am not learning cooking from you."
"Fine, Capitane. Its your loss and your loss alone."
"What is his loss and his loss alone?" That was Margaret, of course. Nobody could butt in like her.
"God, you scared him!" I feigned being startled. BJ and I were searching for something resembling food. Finally, I decided on toast and some leftover scrambled eggs and something resembling hash browns.
"He refused to learn cooking from me."
"You know how to cook?" She half laughed, half mocked me.
"Of course I do! Are you mocking me?"
"Yeeaaaah!"
"Fine!"
"Good morning, Margaret."
"Hello Hunnicut."
"Hello Hawkeye." I said to myself before I started poking at my food.
"Didn't anybody teach you not to play with your food?" Margaret said, holding a cup of coffee.
"You look good today, Hawkeye!" I said to myself again, plainly ignoring Margaret.
"No you don't! You look like a hobo." That was Margaret again.
"Ignore him, Margaret. He had a run-in with his one true love in this camp first thing in the morning." BJ smilingly informed – misinfirmed – Margaret.
"One true love? He has a new one every week. Sometimes two, even."
"And you never wonder why none of them ever stick around long enough?"
"If you want, I can leave." I asked them both while still staring at mt tray.
"Oh no! You are finishing your food. BJ can tell me about your true love while you eat." Spoke mother hen.
"I cannot eat this dreck!" I pushed the tray aside.
"Try the eggs! BJ, you were telling me of his one true flame."
"Flame?" I almost choked at this.
"Now thats a good and appropriate word, Margaret! Yeah, so you know how they say its a thin line between love and hate?"
"There is a chasm between love and hate, BJ Hunnicut. That hooch you concoct every day and drink every night HAS fried your brains." I exclaimed, knowing full well where he was going. I knew I held the trump card when it came to them both, though.
"Cummon Hawk! We all know how much you care about Frank." This time, Margaret came to my rescue.
"Nah! There you got it all wrong, Hunnicut. If anything, Frank probably has a crush on you. He knows Pierce a little too well for his own comfort."
At that, I cackled loud and hard and almost choked on those eggs Margaret was advocating so forcefully.
Margaret slapped my back a few times before I stopped coughing.
"THANKS A LOT!" I said as soon as I could speak again, glaring at her. This time, both she and BJ were grinning in amusement.
"Thats what you get when you make fun of someone as nice as me!" BJ chimed in, looking at his bit of mystery meat.
"You know, he has a point, Pierce."
"Beej, do you realize how devious Margaret is acting." I tried to point him towards Margaret's good mood and was not disappointed.
BJ looked thoughful before grinning himself.
"Don't tell me he is coming."
"I can swear he is!"
"Margaret!"
Suddenly, Margaret found something extremely interesting in her coffee as her cheeks went pink.
"She is not listening, Beej. She is in another world now. You might be intruding... " And before I finished, Margaret punched me on my arm, my bad arm. "OWW! What was that for? You know I almost broke my arm the other day."
"Next time it won't be almost. It amazes me how such a gifted surgeon came with such a gutterbrain! And you, Hunnicut! Next time there won't be a next time for you." She could barely conceal her smile while delivering her threats.
"I promise I won't slip dead rats in his bed, Margaret!"
"Or medical waste in his pillowcase." I spoke after getting out of her range.
"Don't you dare... I will kill you with my bare hands, Pierce. And you, Hunnicut. I know you want to go home in one piece!"
We both laughed heartily at her threats. I had a vague feeling she had the full capacity to deliver as well.
"Overgrown oafs!"
"Thats old, Margaret. Can't you come up with something new? Something exciting?" I winked at her.
"Idiot!"
Between laughs and groans from BJ, I told her of the conversation between Frank and me earlier. She got embarrassed when I was telling them about their plan to mould BJ into their image. BJ in turn narrated his own miserable tales from last few weeks while I was indispensed.
To my surprise, I had cleaned out my tray.
That was disturbing at some levels but I let it slide for now.
The day was looking good for now and I could do without dwelling on how and why I finished my breakfast. There were more important things in life than that.
