A/N: Thanks for those who are still sending questions!!
From: Twisted Neko
Subject: Beauty Secrets
Dear Mr. The walking orgasm,
Guess who's back...Anyway, this particular email is inspired by retarded little sister, who is also a chimp. She would like to know if, and I quote: "At the end of the day are you a stinky smelly, sweaty, nasty leathery mess?" This question the chimp offers also had me rather curious. Even in the winter time, in skin tight leather pants and vest of the Gucci quality must, by the laws of physics, get as hot as the sun. How do you cope with that?
Also, the missing link offers: "Do you wear bikini cut underwear? Or maybe thongs to hide the panty line in your skin tight pants? Is that why you're always pissed off? Permanent-wedgie-syndrome?"
I'd be mad too, but alas, I dont like flossing my butt...Although, I suggest that you parade around in a thong (preferably edible) in front of Matt. (Also, make sure Justin Timberlake's "Lovestoned" is playing in the background as you strut about :3) I swear, he'll never need to watch Sensitive Pornagraph again.
Then, the horizontal tango and/or perpendicular hula shall ensue.
(You'll bitch about it now, but you'll thank me later.)
Also, I suspect that, considering you're legal, you have a certain alcohol preference. Are you the kinda guy who can enjoy a Coors? Or maybe wine? Or maybe, being the high roller you are, buy Cristal? Even though I'm not legal, I enjoy the taste of Smirnoff Ice...it's what my cousin calls a creeper, since it tastes like soda. Speaking of which, as I was drinking it, I thought it WAS soda. So beware of that.
My sister also says that she: "Doesn't believe that you and Matt interacted enough." And by interacted, she means sex. I hope dear Matt complained about that; your loyal fan girls surely did.
(My sister is proclaim her undying love for you Matt. She loves that you're almost as awesome as she is. :3 Muah!)
My sister and I love you two to pieces, and believe that you should sex on tape much more often, then post said sex on youtube. 3
Love,
Twistedneko and her sister.
P.S. My sister isn't a chimp.
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Dear TwistedNeko and chimp,
I, the walking orgasm, am never sticky, smelly or a mess. In fact, I smell like sunshine all day! Beautiful, beautiful sunshine…no, I'm not stoned, shut up. And besides, I don't spend the whole day clothed, you know. I'll let you figure out what I'm implying.
Hahaha! Heheh! Lol! Roflmao! ……Who has any need for underwear??! I certainly don't. They give me rashes. And I think I'm hotter without red blotches near my crotch (aside from hickeys), thank you very much.
Matt should be the one parading around me, if ever!
I take Cristal occasionally. But most of the time, I take beer, because that's the only thing Matt buys from the grocery anyway…aside from chocolate.
Ah. I'm pretty sure Matt wanted more "interaction". But I was fine just sitting there, looking pretty, and blowing stuff up in the process. Aren't I awesome? I sure am. More so than your chimp sister. Eheh.
Sex videos, eh? I dunno. Matt probably videoed some without my knowing. So try looking anyway.
Sincerely, Mello
ps. ………Sure she isn't.
A/N: Hohoho! Mello's as narcissistic as always. And yes, I agree with him that he doesn't need underwear. We'd all love to see that, yup. Please send questions! Send the Qs to: snowrabbit399(at)gmail(dot)com.
