A/N: Tissue warning!
Trouble - Coldplay
Ashley had her eyes on the prize. Her eyes fixed down the scope, she inhaled deeply, and with an exhale she pulled the trigger.
With a bang of satisfaction, her shot landed directly in the centre ring of the target dummy's stomach.
"Bam!" she shouted. "Beat that one, Vakarian."
"That's a good shot…" With arrogant effortlessness, he barely took a moment to line up his target and shot, landing in the centre of the centre most ring. "Too bad mine's better."
"Headshots, then."
Once again, Garrus came out on top.
"It's that damn Black Widow, the targeting system on the Valiant isn't even close."
"It has nothing to do with the sniper wielding the rifle, nothing at all?"
She rolled her eyes dramatically. "Alright, fine, you out shot me this time Vakarian."
"Sweet, sweet victory." When he saw her face fall, he continued, "Ash, you're the second best soldier - next to Shepard - that I've had the privilege of fighting beside. You just happen to be scarier with an assault rifle."
"Damn straight!" She packed her sniper rifle up and flung it over her shoulder in one fluid motion. He followed her out of the Spectre offices and they made their way down to Purgatory.
"So Garrus, I couldn't help but notice that Shepard's been looking a little pissed at you."
He made a low humming noise deep in his throat. "Yeah, I've been working on fixing that."
"What's your plan?"
"I'm going to take her to the top of the Presidium for a picnic lunch. I've always wanted to go up there."
She raised an eyebrow at him. "Picnic lunch? What is she, a teenager?"
His brows arched downwards. "I thought it was romantic."
"Sure it is. But this is Commander Zoey Shepard we're talking about here. Do something exciting, something that will get her adrenaline pumping."
He nodded slowly as an idea formed into his head. "Exciting? I can do exciting."
The rest of the walk to the bar was in silence, and as agreed, Ashley paid for their drinks at the bar.
"Speaking of relationships, I couldn't help but notice someone seems to have big eyes for you."
"For me? Who?"
"Javik," he responded sarcastically. "James, of course! Whenever you're in the room he suddenly gets the urge to show how big his arm muscles are and he forgets how to form full sentences."
She quietly laughed. "He's a good man and a good soldier - not too bad on the eyes either - but there are pretty strict rules against fraternization, and with good reason."
Garrus leaned back with ease in his chair, taking a long swig of his beer. "We're potentially facing the end of all organic life and you're worried about rules?"
"The rules exist for a reason. This is an extremely dangerous mission where our lives are at stake every day. Emotional attachment equates to greater risk."
"You're worried about risk?" He leaned forward so he could look deep into her eyes, holding her attention. "Life is nothing without risk. You think I didn't take a risk following Shepard to take down Saren, or following her again to take down the Collectors? You think I didn't take a risk the day when we admitted our feelings for each other? Things may be uneasy between us now, but every moment we share is still the happiest of my life. Don't deny yourself this."
Ashley instinctively leaned away, the passion in his eyes frightening. "You're awfully adamant about this."
"I don't want to see you in my shoes, sitting alone at Shepard's funeral with my heart broken in regret because she died before I could muster the courage to admit my feelings. It's preferable to regret action as opposed to inaction."
Her mouth opened and closed slowly, like a fish searching out water, before she snapped it shut firmly. "Food for thought," she muttered.
"Speaking of action," he stood swiftly and downed the remainder of his drink, "Time for me to get back in Shepard's favour. Thanks for the time on the range and the drink, Ash."
Ashley chose to remain at the bar, mulling over her thoughts over a few more drinks.
Garrus stood at the terminal for Sirta Supplies, browsing their wares.
Should he get Shepard flowers? He'd bought them for her on several occasions now, so perhaps she wouldn't find them special. Candy? He had never seen her eat any, perhaps she didn't like it. Weaponry? She needed a new SMG, but that was not a romantic idea.
The attractive Asari clerk addressed him. "Looking for something, sir?"
"Yes, actually. I need something for a human woman that says 'I'm sorry'."
"What are her interests?"
"Shooting, exercise, engines, and biotics."
The clerk briefly looked stumped before the smile returned. "Jewelry is always a winning option."
"So I've heard. Any recommendations?"
From under the counter she pulled out a glass case filled with sparkling jewels. "Depending on your price range we have earrings, bracelets, necklaces - which are always a favourite -"
"That one. Give me that one."
As soon as he saw it he knew that he needed it. It was a tiny Normandy SR-1 pendant on a silver chain, hooked up by the thrusters so it would hang nose down. It was perfect.
"Is she a Commander Shepard fan?"
"You could say that," he responded with a flicker of his mandibles.
"Shall I gift wrap it for you?"
"Please."
"Wonderful. That will be 9,462 credits."
Almost 10,000 credits? For a damn piece of silver? Anything was worth it for Zoey, but Spirits that was a lot of credits.
With a much emptier wallet and a fancy gift bag in hand, he waited in their docking bay by the sky cars for Shepard to arrive.
He waited, and waited.
Two hours past the meeting time.
Four hours past the meeting time.
When it was five hours past the meeting time and beginning to grow dark, his legs were stiff from disuse and his heart ached with a longing for Shepard. With a sad sigh he turned to return to the Normandy, resigning himself to a quiet night alone in the main battery.
Just get your work done, Vakarian. You have to get in touch with the volus ambassador about the evac freighters, and recalibrate the targeting algorithms on the Thanix. The Viper and your armour need a good clean. Moping gets you nowhere.
He passed through the ship, slow and dejected, ignoring Liara, James, EDI, and Joker sitting in a circle in the cockpit as well as Ashley and Javik eating together in the mess.
When he opened the door, the sight of Shepard sitting on his cot before him made him drop everything in his hands.
She looked devastated. Her eyes were wet and red, and looking into them he could see only pain and suffering. Her mouth was open with the corners turned down, and her hands were gripping the bed like it was keeping her tethered down. He threw himself onto his knees in front of her, grabbing her hands in his, searching her face for answers to what could cause such pain.
She finally answered, in a voice so quiet it was barely audible.
"My mother is dead."
"Oh, Zoey, my love. What happened?" Garrus asked, pulling her in as close to himself as possible.
"My dad explained everything." They moved themselves so they were lying on the bed together, Garrus wiping the occasional tear that slipped down her face with his talon.
"Just after the Reapers hit, most likely around the time when I was on Mars, my parents were separated by the Alliance. Although it was hard, they knew they had to do their duty. And my mother's knowledge... it is... was..." She choked on her words, and took a series of deep breaths before continuing. "Her abilities have always been in high demand. The SSV Shasta requested her specifically for an offensive attack in the Horse Head Nebula, and dad was aboard the SSV Shanghai sent on a civilian escort mission. Comm lines are so damn tight right now that neither of them could communicate with my brother or me, or even each other." She shook her head sadly.
"As soon as they went into that damn system they saw that it was overrun with Reapers. Dozens of Destroyers were there, fucking dozens, and they were just... Shot right down." She buried her face in her hands. "There was the Shasta and two other frigates as well as a few fighter ships, destroyed like they were nothing." Her teeth were clenched and her eyes were stinging as tears pooled in their depths. "How can we fight these things, Garrus? They took out a chunk of our fleet like we're...insects, we're nothing to them! How do we fight an enemy so all-encompassing, with no compassion or regard?" She slammed her fist against the bed. "They killed my mother. My fucking mother!"
It was like the flood gates broke open as her body convulsed with the sobs that took over. Tears and mucus streamed down her face as she let out a series of agonized gasps. Garrus wrapped himself around her, pulling her shaking body in as close to his as possible.
"I miss her so fucking much," she managed to murmur before collapsing again into sobs. Garrus's heart ached, for both her mother and his own, and his own agony hit him like a wrecking ball. He began to let out low, agonized howls as he gripped her tighter, joining her in her grief.
They lied together on that tiny cot, trying and failing to shake off the pain of what they had lost. Garrus continually thought that you only have one mother: she spends her whole life protecting you, cherishing you, loving you, nurturing you, and neither he nor Shepard would have one again.
After what felt like hours, perhaps from having no tears left to shed or the grief slightly abating, Shepard spoke. "I'm sorry, Garrus. I haven't cried in... God... ten years, probably."
"There's no need to apologize," he whispered, running his hands along her face, her hair.
She sighed, her breath ragged as she exhaled. "How do you wake up every day, knowing that you'll never see your mom again?"
Garrus was quiet for a moment in contemplation. "My mother's spirit is embodied in everything around me. I may not be able to touch her or talk to her, but she's always there for me."
"I think I like the turian way of thinking." She smiled faintly. "The idea of a spirit as the embodiment of everything around us."
He shrugged. "It's a little old-fashioned, but at times like this, it helps you get through the hardest days."
She leaned in to kiss him firmly. "I'm sorry, Garrus, for getting so upset with you. It's a bit unfamiliar to have a someone I outrank have concerns about me as a person instead of as a commander and I overreacted. I can let myself get too caught up with being a commander, and today was an astute reminder that I need to appreciate everything that I have, because the Reapers want to take it all away."
"I owe you an apology, Zoey. I overstepped my boundaries in my concern, but I should have known that your calls so far have lead us here: where you've defeated Saren, squashed the Collectors, and united the krogan, salarians, and turians. The calls you have to make are difficult, but you don't make them to be selfish, you make them to win wars."
"I will defeat them." Her brow was set in determination. "I'll bring down those bastards who killed my mother. There will be no mercy."
"I would not want to be a Reaper right now."
She laughed, but it was empty and humourless. The pain was still too fresh for even Garrus's quips to cheer her up.
"Will you be alright, Zoey? Is there anything I can do to help?"
"Just you being here is all I need."
"Let me take you out tomorrow, on the Citadel."
"We don't have more time for shore leave right now; we have to get to Rannoch."
"Rannoch can wait," he said firmly. "Just give me a few hours; we'll be halfway to Rannoch this time tomorrow. We can't have our Commander Shepard operating at half capacity; we need you at full strength."
"Alright," she acquiesced with a sigh. "But we're setting out at 1300 hours tomorrow."
"Absolutely." He kissed her forehead. "Now let's try and get some sleep."
