We load up my vehicle, which with my stuff, 2 boards, and a cooler-full of beer, is pretty full. Gabe instructs me on where we're going and I begin to drive in the direction of that beach.

"So, how's school?" I ask, hoping to catch up on his life and focus some attention on him.

"Oh, you know, same ol' same ol'," he counters back. "You get much surfing under your belt while here?" he asks, flicking the air freshener dangling from my rearview mirror. "I see you grabbed your longboard for today, so I'm assuming that's a negative there, Old Man," he grins as I roll my eyes.

"Oh, a bit," I reply shaking my head at his prejudice at longboard-riding. "So, you taking any cool classes? How are things in Santa Barbra?"

"Just business ones this semester. I blow off half the classes and still pass. SB's fine. Few more semesters and I'll be back here, working for Larry, living the good life."

"And that's what you wanna do, with your life I mean?" I ask. Gabe's never had an obvious talent or burning passion like my writing or Zach's art. I worry that he's following Larry's lead because it's easy, and I hope for more for him than that.

"I'm not like you bro. I don't live to do the work I love. I'll be fine working to pay for the life I love," he explains, pulling a joint out of his bag. His words make sense; I forget how wise he sometimes is. "Plant me near a beach, a job with a lenient drug testing policy, plenty of friends and I'll be happy," he clarifies, lighting the joint as he cracks the window, ever the California surfer dude. I'm not exactly happy he's doing this in my car, but don't care enough to say anything. "What about you, Shauny-Poo? You say the muse is back. The writing: is it good? Makes you happy?" I think about it.

Yeah, it…does, and it's good. My best so far," I admit, thinking of the inspiration and smiling.

"That's awesome man," he encourages, after exhaling. "What's it about?" How do I answer?

"Well, I've been working on a few scripts…" I trail off lamely.

"Ahh, but that's not your bliss dude," he catches me. Fuck! "That's not the reason you smiled just now, a script," he scoffs, "Someone else's story. 'Fess up big brother," he wheedles.

"It's uh, probably a little too, um, autobiographical for your comfort level G," I warn. He knows the generalities about my fiction, and I'm happy having it stay that way.

"Gotcha my man," he replies, dropping the subject as we turn into the parking lot near the secluded beach we're meeting Zach at. I see his Jimmy parked already, but he appears to have already hit the beach. Gabe taps out his joint and wraps the rest of it in a baggie, returning it to his backpack and we hop out. As we pull out our gear, the giddy feeling in my stomach that has been a constant the past couple days returns with the idea of seeing Zach again, even after just these few hours. I have so much to say—I always have so much to share with him. I want to tell him my thoughts on the mural, and warn him about Gabe's questions, and find out what happened at the diner, and…just be with him. Suddenly having to share Zach with his best friend sucks.

It's not like I wasn't fully aware and appreciative, and even protective of their friendship, but Gabe barely dented our little bubble since that night on the double chaise, and I don't like that I'm all of the sudden feeling a little jealous that Zach's attention will be divided right now. I roll my eyes at my how ridiculous I'm being. Scanning the surf, I see Zach on the horizon and point him out to Gabe. Before he returns to the shore, I take off in search of my own wave in an effort to clear my head.

As I paddle out, I evaluate the immature moment I'd just had. I'm an adult and have never had a problem sharing, and I've certainly never begrudged a partner his friendships. Is it sharing with Gabe that has me worried? When our relationship was so brand new, and to be honest, it still is, so I guess I should rephrase that. Before I realized how important Zach would become to me, I told him that their friendship and our relationship wouldn't affect each other. And they won't, I assure myself.

I jump up as board meets wave. I have no problem "sharing" Zach with Cody. None. I realize I crave "adult time" with Zach when the Ankle-Biter is around, but I haven't once been bitter that Cody is and always will be significant to his uncle. I sigh, relieved that I'm not turning into a needy jealous boyfriend. I remember my little freak out when I considered Gabe and Zach together and wonder if the moment in the car was a residual of those weird feelings. I smile at the absurd thoughts that ever-so-briefly ran through my head. I'll be thankful when Gabe's aware of us. In fact, it's probably just the stress of hiding something from him that's got me in this temporary funk. While it will take a little getting used to, a little adjusting, I know Gabe will ultimately be okay with this. He's wiser than most of us give him credit for.

With this cleared up in my head, I resolve to give the blood-brothers time together and continue on as a solitary surfer. The physical release feels good and I use the quiet alone time to sort our plot points. Several waves later, I'm glad that I have this free time to mentally work through some issues I'd hit in my writing but had brushed off to focus on Zach. I understand that as important as this man is to me, I can't let go of me, or shrink the work I love to accommodate this relationship like I did with Rich. Of course, Zach is appreciative and encouraging of my writing like Rich never was, but realizing I'd begun to set it aside without thinking scares me slightly. I don't want to lose my writing voice again after all this time. Right here, on this board, before the waves and the sun and my muse, I vow that regardless of our relationship, I will not relegate my work to a non-priority again.

A few waves later, I decide to come in, happy with my soul-searching and confident that the future will be amazing. I am constantly awed by how just being in the water clarifies everything. Even living in LA again soon, I need to return to the beach, need to make it a priority as well. It grounds me like nothing else. Hitting the sand, I feel renewed and happy again. I see Gabe and Zach sitting near the shore, I run to them with a smile. My family.

"Oh, there he is!" Gabe exclaims as I approach. "You lasted pretty long out there, Old Man," he jokes, getting up to pretend to fight. I join in on the silliness for a few seconds before he plops back down next to Zach, who looks extremely uncomfortable. I wonder if he's getting the same interrogation that I've been dealing with all day. "Oh, my big bro on a longboard. Never thought I'd see the day," Gabe jokes, breaking my attention away from Zach and making him smile and laugh. I'm glad age jokes are still funny enough to crack through his mood and make him smile.

"Give me ten years and call me back about that," I kid back.

"Yeah right. I'll never be on a longboard. Ever," Gabe affirms. "Alright, I'm getting beers," he changes subjects and takes off to the cooler in my car. Finally! Alone time. I crouch down to Zach, hoping to give him some encouragement since he looks so down.

"What's up, Babe?" I go to squeeze his knee and he shoves my hand away.

"Shaun!" he exclaims like I've committed a major gaffe rather than maybe displayed a bit more PDA than he's comfortable with. Ouch. I get that he's stressed and this is Gabe, but that stings. I gesture to my brother's rapidly-retreating form, then decide to let it go. My inner shrink encourages me to remember my recent self-realization and cut him some slack.

"Shaun just chill," he continues, and I realize I can't charm him out of his mood. I spit in an attempt to not obviously roll my eyes at him. I'd really thought the closet-case part of him had started to disappear, but apparently he's back in full force. Deciding to hit the water again, I take my board and sit in the lapping waves, allowing Gabe and Zach more time together. My brother approaches after a while.

"Hey are you okay bro?" he asks.

"Yup, just enjoying the horizon," I reply, gesturing to the expanse of endless ocean ahead of me.

"Okay. Hey you mind if I ride home with Zach?" I shake my head. "Cool man. I'll see you back at the house right?" I nod.

"Yeah, I'll head that way soon," I promise.

"Cool. See if you can find some hottie to bring along man," he encourages with his patented Gabe-Andrews-Hip-Thrust. I laugh. Gabe's obvious talent exists. It's making people laugh, both at and with him.

"Peace bro," he waves then takes off toward Zach, who's already waiting by his vehicle. I sigh.

Yeah, the "honeymoon" looks like it's over.