56
Yan woke to laughter and blinked as she stared at her husband and Rhys, both prancing around in…oh gods, her eyes were burning with the horror.
Knitted underwear, Dahlia had knitted boxer shorts for the men with….oh gods. Sleeves for their dicks.
Everyone watched with shock, like watching a car crash in slow motion as Jack swung his dick, slapping against Rhys who was so taken aback he slapped him, then roared with mirth as Jack landed on the sofa.
Rhys loved his hat and scarf to match though, winking as he told her they were perfect for fetching the food across the Plass and she shone with delight as he kissed her cheek and called her Mama.
"Where's Owen?" Yan asked as she sat up and looked down at her little boy, sleeping in a basket by her.
"Here!" Owen said grandly as he stalked onto the room and now the baby was awake, no way he could sleep though the screams of laughter as Owen showed his knitted onesie off, "cable knit ya know."
Yan tried to tell him to stop but each time she got her breath back she started laughing again and Owen was no help as he posed hands on hips then to her absolute glee he pulled up the hood and crouched like some weird alien super hero thing.
"Beware" he hissed, wriggling his gloved hands (matching of course) "I am cometh!"
Then Tosh walked in and Yan had just recovered her breath, only able to cover her face as she tried to hold back the peals of laughter that everyone else was giving into.
A corset and suspender belt, even the stockings were knitted and Tosh looked like a cross between a femme fatale and a knitted doll.
"Awwwww, look at us" Owen beamed as he pulled her next to him "We are sooo hot!"
Yan had hiccups now.
"No, really" Owen said as he pulled the hood off "I'm fucking melting!"
Yan flopped back and looked over at her daughter walking around in the huge hat that looked so sweet with wee ears, then she frowned, "Where's Andy?"
So…Andy walking in with thigh high knitted socks and matching shorts was maybe a bit too much, especially with the expert 'tuck', making him quite svelte as he minced over to sit on Rhys' knee.
"Christ" Rhys spluttered as he hugged him with glee.
"Well, it is blue" Dahlia pointed out, "Boys wear blue. Oh darling, I should really make you a wee singlet too."
"Oh god, yes please" Rhys snorted as Andy preened.
"Oh Mama, you've outdone yourself for sure!" Ianto sniggered.
Gray looked stylish in a sweet sweater with 'Santa Baby' on it, his face shining as he handed Yan a small box, his nervousness thrumming as she opened it to find a little perfume bottle.
"Oh Gray!" she gasped, "Oh! It's lovely!"
"See?" Jack said softly, "Told you she liked pretties."
"Thank you love" Yan leaned over and Gray eagerly rushed forward to kiss her on the lips, his face red as everyone hooted.
"Leave my love alone" she scolded, "My perfect, lovely and handsome young man, look at him. Oh, Lucky, what happened!"
Yan saw the dog backing in a slow circle trying to remove the hat over his face and Jack gave a squeal as the dag backed into the tree, making it shake.
"It's OK!" Owen said, his arms out like he might catch it, "Stand back!"
"He's a lumberjack and he's OK" Andy hissed and Rhys snorted with mirth as he cuddled wee Blaine.
Of course the twins were used to the sounds of their father's madness and slept right through his shrill screaming as the tree engulfed him.
"The Blob" Rhys said calmly, "Lying in wait. In its camouflage, finally come to life as it finds a victim pre-wrapped."
Yan laughed along with the others, her fatigue making her shake as she watched them all act like bloody big kids, all so silly.
The smell of the roast was filing the house, along with the pine as Owen tried to swim out from under the tree, abusing all of them for not helping him and she leaned over to lift her baby up, looking down into his iridescent eyes and knew it was all going to be alright.
She left go of her doubts, fears and self reflection as she felt his warm bum in the crook of her arm, safe happy and loved.
Byrd laughed as she leapt onto Owen's head, screaming "Alien!"
Gray laughed and followed as Owen screamed and Lucky finally got out from under the tree to see his kids in fierce battle so he ran over to defend them, latching on and growling as he ….pulled and pulled….
God the thing has such stretchy skin and the fur tastes horrible.
Owen roared and rolled to face the dog, making him release his butt and the dribble ran from the dog's mouth to the wool like a sail trail as the dog blinked at him with confusion.
Had the thing swallowed him?
"Ewwwww!" Owen roared as Dahlia rushed to get a cloth.
"See? We are all mad here" Yan whispered happily to her boy.
"Welcome to the world."
