Nolan 18, Lissa 18, Ryder almost 14, Olivia almost 11
Annabelle 6, Victoria nearly 6, Lucas 4½
Friday, January 21
After leaving Larissa in Obstetrics, Owen headed to Dr. Wyatt's office. He and Amelia were set to meet with her, but Amelia had been called away on an emergency surgery. Owen decided to utilize the hour himself, and Dr. Wyatt agreed even though she normally didn't not see one spouse without the other when offering marriage counseling.
"We were speaking last time about Amelia and your need to protect her. Has she ever asked you to protect her emotionally, Owen?" the doctor inquired.
"Well… not directly, I guess, but that's one of my roles in our relationship," Owen explained.
"Maybe she doesn't need you to carry that for her," Dr. Wyatt suggested. Owen looked puzzled. "Maybe knowing you're struggling with challenges will help her see that she's not alone."
"What would help her is if I was fully functioning, then I could address all the issues and keep the burdens from weighing her down," Owen detailed. "And I can't seem to run fast enough to do that anymore."
"Swoop in and save Lois Lane?" Dr. Wyatt challenged. "Simply take away her problems and fix them for her?" Owen frowned. When Dr. Wyatt uttered the words, they no longer sounded venerable.
"How would you feel if someone did that in your life?" Dr. Wyatt inquired.
"Helpless, worthless, inept," Owen shrugged. "But that's because I'm the husband. I'm the one who ultimately holds the responsibility and the burdens."
"Do you hear yourself?" Dr. Wyatt pressed.
Owen chuckled softly, "Yeah. I'm trying to fix her, fix the kids, fix life, fix the hospital. In the process, she's getting the sense that I see her as inferior and incompetent."
"There are ways to support people without attempting to fix them or assume to know what's best for them," Dr. Wyatt proposed.
"Crap…" Owen groaned, "I think we've hit the nail on the head. That's at the crux of all this angst I've had lately, isn't it?"
"Could be," Dr. Wyatt suggested. "That's a question you need to answer for yourself, Owen."
Owen gazed down at his hands and lost himself in his thoughts. Holding on to everyone else's challenges and his constant worry about his loved ones was eating him alive. Carrying all those burdens as if he could intervene and fix them led to disappointment. Being alone or apart wasn't the answer. The answer was staying engaged while letting go of his attempts to juggle outcomes.
"Do you still want a separation?" Dr. Wyatt wondered.
Owen admitted as he shook his head. "No, not really, but I feel like I can't keep my head above water. It's not fair for her to have to deal with that, to rescue me."
"Maybe it's her turn, Owen… to be the one on solid ground and give you room to step back. To support you," Dr. Wyatt put forward. "I suppose your other option remains too: to crawl into a cave until you feel steady enough to return to the world. You have options, Owen, but each option has its ramifications."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
At the lunch table, Lissa observed positive, loving and lighthearted interactions between Owen and Amelia. She wished there was a way to videotape the time and share it with Nolan. Although Owen continued to live at his own apartment, the intensity between he and Amelia had been softening. The couple almost had to work harder at arranging their lives now that they were living apart. They spoke to each other more and usually found ways to support one another. Multiple appointments with Dr. Wyatt had also helped a great deal.
"Hey, I heard you had a little blood pressure scare, Liss," Amelia mentioned.
"You heard that, huh?" Lissa smirked.
"What was her reading?" Owen inquired anxiously as he turned to Amelia.
"82/55 to start. Dizzy spell. It improved a few minutes later," Amelia reported. "How many nurses surrounded you and fussed over you, Lissa?"
Giggling, Lissa shared, "Only two." She described, "It was pretty weird. When I stood up, I was dizzy and lightheaded. Mary had me sit down, but it really didn't go away. Amanda sat next to me and we waited. Then it was like, 'Hey we just met but when was your last period?' I was like, 'Umm…hello?!' TMI, right?!"
Owen and Amelia caught each other's eyes. Biting his bottom lip and raising his eyebrows, Owen stated, "Beautiful ladies, if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to work." He leaned down and kissed Lissa's forehead then, out of habit, did likewise to Amelia.
"Are you two working everything out?" Lissa inquired.
"We're getting there. That little kiss, though, was… out of the blue," Amelia replied with a hint of shock. "But I'll take it." The two resumed eating their lunches. A few bites later, Amelia questioned, "Liss… we haven't just met, so I am going to ask. When was your last period?"
"Amma, are you serious?" Lissa sighed with rolling eyes.
"No biggie. I'm a doctor. Just give me a date," Amelia shrugged.
"Last week," Lissa disclosed.
"And it was normal?" Amelia pressed.
"What do you mean?" Lissa questioned with a shrug.
"Spotting? Light? Heavy? Number of days? Cramps – less or more?" Amelia listed.
"Does that really make a difference?" Lissa challenged with confusion, exasperated that her period had become the focus of multiple conversations in one day.
"There's something called 'implantation bleeding,'" Amelia explained. "Some women can spot up to 6 days or so as the egg settles into the lining. It usually happens about a week after conception."
Lissa dropped her fork into her salad unintentionally and let out a flat, "Oh."
"And you've been pretty sleepy lately," Amelia reminded her. "Liss, it might be worthwhile to take a pregnancy test. You know, just to be sure."
With a laugh full of denial, Lissa countered, "But it was…" Not wanting to provide detail about the broken condom and how Nolan told her he had to have been out of sperm, Lissa stopped mid-sentence.
"Was what, Liss?" Amelia encouraged. Just as Amelia leaned toward Lissa and spoke, Lissa's phone rang.
"It's Nolan," she smiled. With an unsteady voice, she began, "Hey, Trems. What's up?"
"Me. I miss you," Nolan joked.
"Uh huh," Lissa responded uneasily.
"You're not alone," Nolan gathered.
"Just finished lunch with Dads and Amma. Amma's still here… oh wait, she's standing up and waving goodbye," Lissa described.
"Blondie, the house deal is set and the contractors are ready to start on the remodel. You should come down here for the signing," Nolan celebrated.
"When?" Lissa wondered as she dug her date book out of her purse. As she grasped a pen, her hand shook as she began to write.
"February 10. Maybe we can be together for Valentine's Day, huh?" Nolan ventured.
"I'd love that," Lissa oozed with sincerity. Even so, there was hesitation in her voice.
Nolan dug, "Larissa? What's going on? I can hear it in your voice."
"Do you have a minute to talk?"
"Yeah," Nolan assured her.
Lissa took a deep breath, "I'm a little freaked out. Amma and I – she was asking about my weird period. It sounds like it might not have been one. There's this thing called implantation bleeding…"
"You lost me, Shorty. Speak guy," Nolan interrupted.
"Nolan," Lissa rephrased, "I might be pregnant."
"I don't get it. Last week… you were sure you weren't," Nolan wondered aloud. Lissa explained details to him and provided more information before asking, "Should I take a test? Or should I wait? Do you want to be with me when I take one? Or should I take it and let you know?"
"Baby, I want to do whatever you need me to do," Nolan insisted. "I can hop a plane right now and tell the family I'm surprising Ria and Ryder for their birthdays."
Tearing up since the first time the topic of possibly being pregnant arose, Lissa breathed with relief, "I'd love that. Let me know when you're arriving and I'll come get you."
"Hey…" Nolan began with a reassuring tone.
"What?" she inquired as she sniffled.
"No tears, Blondie," he encouraged.
"I'm trying," she whimpered.
"I love you, Liss," Nolan declared. "I'll be there as soon as I can grab a seat on a plane."
"I love you, too, Nolan," Lissa shared.
"Listen, if you are pregnant, we'll be the most incredible family that has ever existed on earth. We'll bring the baby home to the most loving, safe, precious home in LA. This is a win-win, Liss. No matter what, the result will be fantastic," he assured her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
A few short hours later, Nolan and Lissa sat in her bedroom and waited.
"What's it say?" Nolan asked for the third time in a minute. His arm was wrapped around Lissa as his leg bounced up and down nervously. He rested his head on hers and waited for the result of the pregnancy test.
"It hasn't been enough time yet," Lissa reminded him with her arms folded in front of her.
"Should I go check it anyway? Maybe it's not working – like we bought a defective test or something," he proposed with anxiety.
"Two more minutes, Trems," Lissa assured him softly as she set her hand on his trembling leg. "No matter what, everything will be great, remember?"
"I know," he agreed as he kissed her hair. Internally, his heart was racing. Waiting for this result was the most agonizing five minutes of his life, even though he wanted to believe that life would be wonderful regardless of the outcome.
"Is it too early for midterms or have you already had them?" Lissa asked in a feeble attempt to pass the time.
"No major tests yet. I've turned in assignments in finance, math, and science and completed a paper for a lit class. For the most part, I'm caught up on my reading. This term is pretty manageable so far," he replied. "How's it feel to be out of high school but kind of in a holding period?"
"Period… ha," Lissa blurted.
"That's not funny, Larissa," Nolan corrected her blankly.
"Trems! It is too. Lighten up," she coaxed before whispering, "No matter what" and kissing him softly.
"Who's going to freak out more? Mom or Dad?" Nolan pondered aloud.
"Dads, of course!" Lissa predicted.
D...d…d…d…ding, the phone alarm sounded.
"Do you want to go see or should I?" Nolan questioned.
"I was just going to ask you the same thing," Lissa stuttered.
The two sat, afraid to speak and apprehensive about moving. After a full minute, Nolan stood and gripped Lissa's hand, "How about if we check it together?" As she stood, he grasped her cheeks in his hands and kissed her softly.
Slowly, the two stepped away from each other and Lissa squeezed Nolan's arm. The two ambled toward Lissa's bathroom and locked eyes in the doorway.
"What's it say?" Nolan whispered.
Lissa leaned over to grab the test and read it. As she was about to share the result, Owen knocked and poked his head into Lissa's room, "Hey, guys, cake and ice cream are ready." The test dropped from her hand, landed on the floor, and was quickly swept behind the trash can by Lissa's foot.
Thinking quickly, Nolan quipped, "So it only leaks after you use the hot water?" He leaned down and fiddled with the sink.
"Something wrong?" Owen inquired as he invited himself in.
"Yeah, Liss pulled me in here to take a look. Poor thing – the dripping has been keeping her up all night," Nolan concocted.
"Liss, you should've said something," Owen encouraged.
"I know. I kept forgetting," she grinned. "Then Nolan was talking about the remodel in LA. I remembered the drip in here and asked him to take a look."
"Sure," Owen accepted. "Cake and ice cream are waiting downstairs. Let's go celebrate."
"Be right there, Dad. I'm gonna wash my hands," Nolan explained.
"And you know me… I'll follow him downstairs," Lissa attempted to joke.
Nolan released a huge breath and shook his head as he stood up and washed his hands. "What'd it say?"
