Responding to everyone's reviews, might be a little slow.
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There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Things are calm as the career alliance settles in around the fire. Keegan and Glint, the male from one, are standing guard. They're drinking water as Triton throws more wood on the fire. He's sitting beside Annie while Lux and Amber sit across the fire with Silk on the other side of Lux.
Amber's silent while the rest make small talk. Something catches her eye though, and her eyes flick up. There fluttering down to her between the trees is a silver parachute and her hands are reaching up for it. The white blonde of her hair seems even more bleached out as her expectant hands reach up. The cameras are at an angle to see her reaching up for it, but something else catches my eye—just a small glint.
The parachute lands in her hands, then the sound of a cannon fills the arena. Each of the tributes is reaching for their weapons, confusion spread on their face. For a moment, it looks safe—but then Amber falls over backwards as the parachute falls from her hands. There's the silver dagger in her chest, her clothes splotched with blood and her eyes wide and staring. I curse under my breath. That knife is Triton's, he's been carrying it around since yesterday when it was sent to him.
Keegan swiftly kills Glint before he can react, another cannon booms as Silk throws herself into action against Keegan for murdering her partner. At the same time Lux's eyes go from the knife to Triton, his hand reaching for his weapon. Triton sees it as Lux is bringing the sword around. "Run Annie!" He shoves her backwards, the spear looses from her hand.
She hits the ground just in time as Lux brings his sword around as he comes up. Triton's eyes are on Annie who's stunned but recovering. Her hand is just over the spear when it happens. The cannon booms as Triton's head rolls on to her stomach, eyes still wide and staring at her—the air still thick with his scream for her to run.
There's blood everywhere, and Keegan's cannon booms as Annie begins screaming loudly. She's scrambling to her feet—Triton's head rolling off. She's screaming and off through the forest without her weapon.
She's splattered with blood, and Lux and Silk are running after her, but they're no match for her speed. She's running fast, without purpose driven by fear. Lux and Silk give up with the darkness and retreat. Annie has no supplies at all as she runs without slowing. She's crashing loudly and sobbing as she runs driven by her grief.
My eyes flicker over to Eve and Caine who are huddled together on one branch. Eve's steadied herself, but Caine has his arm wrapped around her middle as she stands on the branch to see. They could see shadows of things that went on by the fire. "I think…the careers…" Her words hang ominously in the air until the night sky lights up with the faces of Glint, Amber, Triton, the girl from five, and Keegan before it fades away.
"There's only seven left," Eve starts as she squats back down, her face turning toward Caine.
"That's close to six," he says somewhat sadly.
"We don't have to split up," she finishes. "We can stay together." She pauses, "It can be us at the end."
"But then I might have to kill you," he's looking at her seriously.
"I might have to kill you," she counters.
"And if you do, you'll take care of them won't you?" He almost begs.
"I will, and if it's you—" She pauses.
"I'll take care of Acanthus." He pauses for a moment, "It's going to be hard if it comes to us."
"It won't be that hard, not really. If I die by your hand—Acanthus will still be okay. The same for your girl, for Lila." She finishes softly, "I'll take care of her for you. This way, no matter what our loved ones will be okay. And if we die, it'll be easy and fair. It won't be so bad.'"
He pulls her to him, "Okay. We'll go to the end." And they sit there in the darkness, holding on to a deal that will cost at least one of them their souls. As I watch them, I realize that this would be what it was like if Finnick and I were in the arena together.
I move over to Finnick's station and he's sobbing there with his head in his hands. I watch his shoulders hunch and move up and down with the force of his sobs. I watch as Annie runs wild-eyed through the jungles—the creatures moving and bellowing.
Everyone's watching me, because I'm brash and rude—I've been rude to them all. But this isn't about me or appearances. When I kneel down he clings to me and I wrap my arms around him and stroke his head. My eyes stare at the screen as he sobs himself out. More and more Annie descends into madness.
I stay with Finnick as he sleeps there on the cot, his head resting in my lap. It's much the same as when I lost my family and Ivan and Blight held me. The other victors don't say a word, they don't approach me or make comments as I stroke his head and watch for him. Victors don't question the ways of other victors, not even the ones that have turned to alcohol and drugs are condemned. You deal how you must, you hold on to each other—to a bottle, to a needle. You hold on to whatever it takes.
Our tributes are in good hands with Blight so I stay with Finnick until the morning there at his station. Cashmere's taken away—she's in labor, going to have her child and give it up. Dimly, I feel sorry for her.
The next day passes with little snatches of sleep. Nothing happens. Annie is sobbing and tucked up in a branch of a tree in a small ball. Her eyes are vacant. She doesn't talk to voices or anything like that, but she's lost it. She's lost in her sorrow and who can blame her? The guy she grew up with's head landed in her lap.
The more I watch, the more it becomes evident. Triton had implied that he came to save her. The truth was that in a fair fight—probably none of them had a chance against Amber. He had killed Amber, easily and told Annie to run. I realize it with a jolt—he timed this. He planned it. He got close to her, made Amber trust him as the second in command so that he could kill her at the right moment. She never saw it coming—not yet anyways. They were supposed to still be strong—still together as careers. But he had severed that bond so that Annie would have a chance. If Amber lived there would have been no chance. With Amber gone, at the price of his life—Annie had a chance.
I could admire his sacrifice. And I can understand why he did it—she had someone left to love. But even he couldn't see what would happen, that his death would cripple her or rather how it happened. It's bad enough your friend has to die, has volunteered to die for you—but having his head land in your lap?
She'll never be the girl Finnick loved again.
…
They play it over and over again, and somewhere some Capitol people are relishing it—but it must be hell for his family. They try to send Annie a dagger, but she just sobs harder and lets it float to the ground. Her sponsor money has mostly been removed—no one wants to support a damaged victor. They barely have enough for a bottle of water for her, but it's clear she won't last long without more. She rouses from her daze after the water sits there for a few hours before hurriedly drinking it down. Then her eyes go vacant again, and for the first time in the arena a storm starts. She covers her ears as the thunder rolls and the lightening electrifies the sky. She huddles into a ball with her hands covering her ears, rocking as if she's trying to blot out the sound.
I remember the haze I was in after the death of Wren. I keep waiting for her to pull herself together, but she can't seem to. She keeps trying. I see her get up and walk, but she winds up crying and huddled down. She sleeps and wakes up screaming, and I wonder how much I looked like this in my games.
There are moments, when she seems almost herself again when those sea green eyes find the camera. She looks whole and perfect then it's gone before long. I know she's trying to hold on, that those moments are when she remembers Finnick. But in the arena, everything begins to feel like a dream and only the arena is true.
She's not going to last.
District four is out looking for sponsors but none are to be found. Finnick's out looking too. But they have no luck at all. Another day goes by without event. It's late evening and Finnick's out looking again when Blight relieves me.
I go to the room, shower, and then dress and go back out. Maybe I can find Annie a sponsor. I don't know exactly how or if I can for her—but I've got to try. I head down to the restaurant that everyone goes to troll for sponsors.
