DISCLAIMERS/NOTES
1. This is a fan fiction based on characters owned by the BBC. I DO NOT OWN THEM. This is just for fun.
2. This is a femslash story. If you don't like that sort of thing, you won't like this.
3. For story notes, see Part 1.
PART 51
"Doctor… Doctor… ?"
Hazel eyes slowly fluttered open, as the voice softly spoke. The Doctor blinked as she awakened, and found herself looking up at someone she had not seen - not truly seen - for so, so long.
"Clara… "
Clara Oswald smiled down at the horizontal Time Lady, a brow raised. "Could you get up, please? We kinda need the sofa."
The Doctor could not believe it. Her eyes were wide, her jaw hanging open, as she simply took in the woman above her. "Clara… Clara… " Pushing herself up, the Doctor got to her feet, eyes never leaving the woman who roused her. She continued staring disbelievingly, as Clara's frown deepened.
Then, suddenly, the Doctor grabbed Clara and enveloped her in a deep embrace. She held the Human tight, terrified this was not real, that this was a dream. She wanted to hold onto her Impossible Girl for as long as possible, after so long apart.
"Um… Doctor… are you alright?" came Clara's unsure voice.
Reluctantly, the Time Lady let the woman go slightly, focusing on her round, beautiful face. "My God… Clara… it's… it's really you… "
Clara looked extremely puzzled. "Er… yeah. Last time I checked. You feeling alright? I know you don't sleep much… do you always act weird when getting up?" She then gasped lightly. "Doctor, what is it?"
With that, the Gallifreyan felt the liquid on her cheek, and cleared her throat. "Um… um, nothing. J… just… " It was only then she noticed their surroundings. They were in a flat. Clara's flat. Clara and…
"Is everything OK?" came a Scottish accent from behind.
The Doctor spun around to see Amy Pond enter the room. But not the Amy she expected. This Amy was… young. Just like the Doctor remembered.
With a silent choke, realisation hit the Time Lady like a sledgehammer. The time loop. Delgado. Old Amy. Mels. The time lock. Delgado.
She did it. They did it. Everything that happened… Missy stealing Clara, Delgado changing time, the golden cracks… it was all…
"I don't know," Clara said to Amy's question. She turned back to their alien friend. "Doctor?"
"How much did you have yesterday?"
"Your the one who let her in the drinks cabinet."
Amy shrugged. "It was a party."
"Party?" the Doctor blurted. She then blinked and realised something else. Her voice. It… she quickly checked her clothing, patting her trousers and opening her coat… checking her hair. She was unchanged. She was still the same blonde, rainbow-shirt-wearing, northern-accented woman she last regenerated into. That, at least, had not changed.
Clara rolled her eyes. "A children's party, Amy. Honestly."
"A children's… " the Doctor's question was left unfinished as she heard pattering of small feet nearing. From the same doorway Amy emerged from, a young girl appeared, and the Doctor, despite the adolescent form, recognised her immediately.
"Morning Mummy, morning Mum, morning Uncle Do… sorry, Aunty Doctor." The girl grinned and waved madly.
"Good morning, Mels," smiled Amy. "Is your sister awake yet?"
The girl - looking pre-teen in Human years - shook her head. "Do you want me check?"
"Would you, sweetheart?" Clara said. "If she's not though, don't wake her up. River had a busy day yesterday."
"OK, Mum!" With that, little Mels bounded back the way she came.
The Doctor just stood there, dumbfounded. She then noticed the flat indeed had remnants of a party in its decor… not least of which the giant Happy 1st Birthday River banner bordering the patio door to the garden. Outside on the grass, the TARDIS was parked, waiting patiently as always.
"Oh my God… " the Time Lady breathed. She could feel another tear trickle down.
It worked. It really worked.
"Doctor, are you alright?" said Clara. "You look like you've seen a ghost."
"Did you have a nightmare or something?" added Amy, coming unto them.
The Doctor blinked a few times at the two young women before her. "You… you could say that." It was then she was able to get a good look at their hands…
She had to stifle the sob at the sight of the wedding rings.
"Who had a nightmare?"
The three women turned to see three people enter the living room. "You OK, Doc?"
The Time Lady closed her eyes and let out a massive sigh of relief. Her gang, her fam was intact. Graham, Ryan… and Yaz.
Being a Time Lord, the Doctor's mind instantly caught up to everything. She realised, shockingly, she had two sets of memories. She still remembered the unholy union of Missy and Clara, and Amy being stuck in the past; remembered that she forgot them… but also now recalled a beautiful wedding. A young Gallifreyan girl being orphaned, then adopted. A series of incidents and interferences leading to a pregnant Amy giving birth to a Gallifreyan-Human "hybrid". All that… and the Doctor still met Bill and Nardole, still regenerated over Sheffield, still met her three latest best friends.
Either the two timelines merged somehow… or, probably, they were far more parallel than the Gallifreyan thought. It seemed, despite the changes Delgado instigated, a lot of the Doctor's personal timeline would have gone the same way regardless. But now, finally, everything seemed…
How it should be.
The rest of the morning was surreal, to say the least. River was indeed awake, and breakfast consisted of the remnants of yesterday's birthday cake. The Doctor, despite her shellshocked state, managed to put a brave face on and get through talks with Amy and Clara, all the while internally doing somersaults at their happiness. Graham and Ryan were their usual selves, and little Mels was wonderful with her one-year-old sister.
And it was surreal enough knowing again exactly who River was to the Doctor…
Only Yaz seemed out-of-sorts. The Time Lady noticed, obviously. That was just one of the reasons she decided to call it a day before midday, and insist she and the gang return to the TARDIS. Leading to them all now in the garden, preparing to separate.
"You sure you can't stay?" Mels asked sadly. "Uncle Rory said he'll be back this afternoon. I thought we could all go out again."
"Maybe… another time," the Doctor said. Frankly, she was emotionally exhausted. Despite her mind gaining clarity by the minute, she still could do with sometime in the Zero Room to properly sort everything out.
"Well, you know where we are," said Clara. "The Oswald-Ponds will be ever-waiting for the great Doctor to drop in."
"Literally," smirked Amy, causing Mels to giggle.
"I'll be back," the Doctor said resolutely. "I promise. I'll never abandon you." Ever again.
"OK, now I'm sure something's up," Clara said. "Is there something going on?"
"Or are you just showing off again?" quipped the Scot, earning her a light nudge from her wife… her wife.
"No, I promise you," said the Doctor slowly, "everything's fine." Those last two words where said with a huge, unbridled grin. After that, final - but never final - goodbyes were made, and the Time Lady and the trio from Sheffield entered the blue police box. Seconds later, they were gone from London, 2019.
It took only a few moments for Graham to dramatically yawn. "Well, I dunno 'bout you, but I think I 'ad too much cake. Gonna go take a nap."
"It's midday, Grandad," mocked Ryan.
"You'll understand when y'get t'my age, son." He then exited the console room down the corridor. Ryan followed, muttering something about the SegAmiga PlayTendo Box. Leaving just the Doctor and Yaz.
The Doctor could feel the young woman's eyes boring into her from behind. But frankly, she did not want to face her right now. The Time Lady still had so much to sort out. Namely, Delgado and his fate.
Despite knowing it had to be done, the Doctor felt great guilt at what was sacrificed. After all, regardless of his budding insanity, Delgado was just trying to get his family back. In his position, the Doctor might very well have done the same thing. No matter how hard she tried moving on, the Time War just continued haunting her. She prayed that would be the last remnant she had to deal with.
As cold as that thought was. Indeed, a part of her hated herself for what had to be done: she was willing to wipe out an entire family. Despite the situation ultimately being taken out of her hands, the Doctor meant what she told Delgado - she would have done whatever it took to get him back inside the time lock. Not just for the adult Mels' prophecy of doom, but the cracks in time…
The presence of one of the glowing anomalies at the original Delgado's resting spot when he merged with his infant self… there was no logical reason, but the Doctor just knew with absolute certainty, when she witnessed that in the vision - he was indeed the cause of them. His amount of time meddling, the paradox he created was simply too much for the universe to handle; there had to be a side-effect. And for whatever reason - perhaps because it involved Delgado merging his memories with his infant form - it manifested in glowing cracks in reality, slowly erasing peoples' memories and, eventually, physical matter. Left unchecked, there was no telling how much damage they could have wrought.
And as for Mels' warning, her insistence of a far-off crisis, and River's role in stopping it? That, like much in the Doctor's lives, would just have to wait for time to tell…
"Doctor?"
Sighing, the Gallifreyan slowly turned and saw Yaz Khan standing there, looking unsure. Looking like a certain cliche. Because there was one final elephant the Doctor had yet to dwell on… but it looked like she would get no reprieve.
In those final moments outside the time lock, when she was scared - no, terrified her time with her fam would be undone, the Doctor did something. She acted on something she felt, yet skirted around, for a long time.
She knew Yaz was in love with her. Any fool could see that. But the policewoman brought feelings out of the Time Lady long buried.
She tried ignoring it, really she tried. But as happened with increasing frequency these past few regenerations, her feelings won out. For centuries - centuries! - she never felt emotionally connected to her travelling companions. Not like that. She loved them all dearly, of course, but never allowed herself…
But since Rose… no, before her. Grace. Then later, Elizabeth. And of course, River. All broke their way into the Doctor's hearts like none before them. And none of them did so like…
Even the Doctor's first great love, dear Patience…
None compared to Yaz. Everything about her just… the Doctor could not find the words. She was perfect. Utterly perfect.
The simple fact was, the Doctor was in love with Yasmin Khan.
Which made right now incredibly heartwrenching. The Doctor took a deep breath before speaking. "What is it, Yaz?"
Yaz shuffled her feet. "I had the strangest dream… only… I don't know… "
"What don't you know?" Please, don't say…
"You're gonna think I'm crazy… "
The weakness in Yaz's eyes and voice overrode the Doctor's own awkwardness. "Never. What is it?"
Suddenly, there was a certainty in the policewoman's eyes. The same certainty which drew the Doctor in months ago, the fiery self-belief she found intoxicating. "I remember."
The Doctor held her breath.
"Everything."
A trademark gulp.
Yaz bit her lip. "It's weird… I remember you tellin' us about Amy and Clara, about their wedding, them adoptin' Mels… I remember River's birthday yesterday. But… I also remember meeting Amy in a '70s pub, looking old… I remember a crazy guy ranting about bringing his family back. Del… Delgado."
The Doctor stood silent, letting Yaz get it out.
"I remember… " She seemed at a loss for words. "I remember… forgetting Grace. God, how could I forget Grace? I remember these bright, glowing cracks… Bein' trapped with his psycho woman in a basement or something… " She shook her head in disbelief. "I remember meeting Clara months ago in her home with Amy, yet also never meeting her, instead gettin' into a stupid fight with an old Amy in the medibay." Yaz took a breath. "And I also remember a wall, a big barrier in space." She held her head in frustration. "I know it sounds insane, but… something in me… in my soul… tells me it wasn't just a dream. That it was real… " With that, she finally fell quiet.
The Doctor gulped once more, trying to take it all in. She realised what this meant, and seeing the confusion in her dear Yaz's face, she had to assure her. "It was, Yaz." Her voice was a whisper. "You were with me when… you… saw the time lock. Being in such close proximity must've let you keep the memories." Or maybe she remembered because the Doctor remembered, and they were in… well, physical contact when…
Yaz looked worried. "Why now?"
The Doctor managed a shrug. "Maybe 'cos… this is the point in time the change happened, and we just happened t'be in a different point in space."
"Will… will these memories stay?"
The Doctor sighed. "I honestly don't know. Our minds might simply forget the corrupted timeline's events so that we don't go insane." Yaz's mind, anyway: the Doctor might carry the parallel memories forever.
Yaz seemed to accept that, nodding her head slowly. The Time Lady thought that was the end of it, until the young woman spoke again. "I also remember… what happened. What… what we did… "
Of course. The Doctor should have known. Fear and uncertainty filled her.
Yaz once again looked at her with complete determination, which the Doctor could not shy away from. "I think… we should talk."
The Doctor was silent for a beat. If what she theorised was correct, she could just wait it out and hope for Yaz's memory to realign. But looking at her now, at the woman she… the woman she loved… could the Doctor be that…
Cruel and cowardly?
After one more deep breath, the Doctor found her voice. "Yeah… maybe we should."
TO BE CONCLUDED
