Disclaimer: I don't own Petshop of Horrors and I make no money from this or any other fanfic I write.

Pairing: None

Category: Humor

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Sexual Implications

Title: Desperate Measures

Author: yellowhorde

Notes: This was written for the LiveJournal community, drabble100. Prompt # 11 – 'Red'

DESPERATE MEASURES

Leon slammed his teacup onto the table, still seething from his latest rejection.

"I haven't had sex in forever, D!" he bemoaned, "I'm a young attractive man in his prime and… Damn it, I have needs!"

"Have you considered taking matters into your own hands?" D murmured impishly.

Leon glared.

"Red is the color of passion, Detective," D continued, "Why not simply buy some red sheets?"

Leon snorted derisively. "Like that would work."

"It was only a suggestion."

"How may I help you, sir?" The sales associate asked when Leon approached the register.

"Do you have any red sheets?"

THE END