Chapter 54: I sleep all night and I work all day


The forties give way to the fifties, and King Edward gives way to Queen Elizabeth. You don't mind teaching children; it's a bit insipid after building bombs but there's something new every day, and every night there's Kate to cuddle up to. All the blonde is finally gone from her hair and you're really glad to have your wide-eyed redhead back. She's been doing some recording with the band and hasn't been working nights, which is a relief to you. You feel a lot fresher, heading to school in the morning after a decent sleep. You didn't mind getting into street fights over her, but at least now you can keep a low profile.

Or at least you think you're keeping a low profile.

That is, until the Mounties start making enquiries at your school.

A few days later they interview Kate while you're out at work and she relays it to you when you get home. She's bubbling with mirth so you know it's going to be good news.


The Mountie had a cup of tea and talked about general things before he sprung this gem of a question on her.

"Has Miss McRae made any improper advances toward you?" He asked and Kate tried hard to look baffled.

"Why, whatever do you mean?" She asked, and you think that was probably overkill but Kate has a face even the most doubting would believe.

"Anything… unnatural? Immoral?" He asked, gently hinting toward his true meaning.

"Well, she does have a few drinks on the weekend, but other than that, I can't think of anything offhand," she told him and it's not really a lie at all. The Mountie looked at her, a little confused, unable to tell if she was really so innocent that she didn't know what he was talking about and if he was going to have to spell it out to her. He tried a different tack.

"Do any women spend the night here?"

"Just Gladys," Kate told him flippantly.

"And who might she be?" Asks the Mountie.

"Gladys Witham, of Witham Foods."

"And where does she stay when she spends the night?" He asked.

"On the couch."

"Not in Miss McRae's room?" He asked and Kate shook her head.

"We're all a bit old for sleepovers, really." She tells him. He opens his mouth and Kate could tell he was going to try to explain to her what he was actually talking about but instead he shook his head and shut his mouth again.

"May I see the bedrooms." He asked next and she balked at that in the name of decency ("Heavens! A man in my bedroom!" you'd expected her to say, but she kept it in the realms of believability. A singer she may be, but an actress she is not.), but you'd known this was probably coming and had adequately divided your belongings into two rooms. It takes you longer to get ready in the morning but being prepared has paid off. He leaves, a little baffled, but convinced of at least Kate's innocence in regards to 'unnatural behaviours'.


Gladys calls a few days later. She's the Vice President of her father's company now and sometimes you think she's braver than you are. You're just trying to live your life but everywhere Gladys goes she's smashing through barricades and broadening boundaries. But, as always, she's a true friend and made sure she sounded utterly scandalized by the mere implication.


Lorna calls a few days after Gladys. Says they got her from your list of references. Asked about your conduct. You hold your breath while she pauses to ask Sheila to turn the stove down.

"I said your conduct was always commendable, and I wished we'd had more workers like you." You're silent for a little while, then Lorna sighs. "I burnt that letter. Didn't even put it in your file."

You don't have to ask her which letter. You know that she knows and she knows that you know that she knows. You're silent a while longer, because you don't know what you can say to her, how you can thank her.

"Would you like to come over for dinner Friday?" You ask eventually, because you've gotten out of the habit of having her around every month or so. She accepts gracefully; after she says goodbye but before she hangs up she says, very quietly take care of each other.

And that's what you've always planned to do.


The Mounties head off, having found nothing and seeking lower hanging fruit. You breathe a sigh of relief and move your things back into the master bedroom.


It isn't until years later when you see The Children's Hour on the big screen that you realize just how badly it could have gone. You call Gladys when you get home and she's sleepy and amused but takes your thanks all the same.


Author's note: in honor of getting my bag back and everything in it except the $3, e-cigs and a floppy drive motor (even got my knife back, though they did stab the crap out of my ipod with it), have an extra, unscheduled chapter.

This is based on fact, Mounties actually did hunt down homos which is confusing because I've always thought Mounties were awesome thanks to Due South.

Title from the Monty Python song 'I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK' because the Mounties' disgust makes sense now.