Chapter 54
"Okay, Bobby. Bobby?"
"Yeah," he grunted.
"You stay with Jeremy. I'll round up the troops."
"But what if-?"
"Don't think that way. Jeremy needs you. You need him. Stay with Jeremy."
He nodded and hung up the phone. Liz was right. He couldn't stay by himself like this. He felt like he was coming unraveled.
After a deep breath, Bobby made one more call. "Amarie," he said, and he didn't even recognize his own voice. "Alex and Jeremy were… were in a car accident." He managed to get out the rest of the words, and she said she'd be right there.
He hadn't made it back to Jeremy's room when he heard the voice of Captain Ross behind him.
"Bobby? Goren?"
Bobby spun around slowly and looked at his Captain. He had no words. He simply couldn't talk about it anymore. He turned back, walking in the direction of the little carved out cubicle his son was in. Ross followed.
Jeremy was still in Greg's arms, and though he desperately wanted to ask the question, Greg said nothing, for the boy's sake. He simply handed him over.
With Jeremy's warmth against him, Bobby finally felt like he could breathe. He cleared his throat quietly, looked over at Greg and then back at Captain Ross, who had followed him. "She's going into surgery," he said. "Internal injuries." He touched his lips to Jeremy's head and kissed the boy. He couldn't say anything more about Alex, not in front of the child.
"Do you need me to call anyone?" Greg asked him.
Bobby shook his head. "I spoke to Liz. And Amarie. They're on their way."
Jeremy didn't say a word, but held tightly onto his father. He curled into a little ball and hid his face against Bobby's chest.
They released Jeremy, and the group headed down to the waiting room. Jeremy had fallen asleep in Bobby's arms, and even though Amarie had arrived, he wasn't ready to let anyone else hold him. Liz was quietly speaking in Bobby's ear.
"What about you?" she asked. "I know Greg's here, but do you want us to call Lewis? Or someone else?"
Bobby shook his head. He didn't need more people. All he needed was Alex. Then he thought again. Lewis would want to know what was going on. Lewis cared about Alex, and Jeremy. Bobby nodded. "Just t-t-to tell him. Just to let him know," he stammered.
"Okay," Liz said. "Can I have your phone?"
Bobby shifted Jeremy so he could reach his pocket. He handed the phone over to Liz, who walked away as she called up his contact list.
"I can take him, give your arms a rest," Amarie offered.
"N-no, that's all right," Bobby said quietly. "Not yet."
With a nod, the girl backed away. Bobby looked around the room at the people who had gathered. He was still worried about Alex, but with his son in his arms and all these people here to help, he felt a little stronger. He looked down at Jeremy and it seemed like the boy was leaning too heavily on his injured arm. Bobby adjusted the child's position and then leaned back in a chair, letting Jeremy's head rest against his chest.
Captain Ross sat in the chair beside him. "You're holding up?" he asked.
Bobby nodded.
"She'll pull through."
He nodded again.
"Do you need anything? Anything for Jeremy?"
Bobby turned his head and made eye contact for a moment. As annoying as it was, he knew Ross was trying to help. The man was a father, after all. "I, uh… I can send Amarie if he needs anything," he said.
"What did they say about his arm?"
"Hairline fracture. They didn't want to cast it yet. I'm supposed to take him to the pediatrician tomorrow."
"He's a brave little boy."
"Yeah." They fell into a long silence that was broken by the return of Goren's phone. Liz ran her hand over Jeremy's hair and looked at Bobby. "Lewis said to call him as soon as we know anything. And if you need anything."
Bobby nodded. At last, the surgeon appeared. "Mr. Goren?" he called out, and the whole group rose to their feet and crowded in, leaving room for Bobby to come forward. "The surgery was a success. We're transferring her to ICU now. As she comes out of the anesthesia, she may be confused. One visitor at a time, for now."
Bobby looked to the others with some relief. He handed Jeremy over to Amarie, and followed the Doctor down the hall.
The group hovered in the hallway, sneaking worried glances through the window at Alex, while Bobby sat by her side, gliding his warm hands over her cool skin.
She looked much the same as in the ER. A machine was still doing her breathing for her, and she was still motionless, save for the beating of her heart, which he could hear on the monitor. The staff all spoke encouragingly when they came in, and Bobby had no choice but to believe them.
Still, being at her side was better than the torture of the waiting room. He saw her eyes open, saw the fear there as she caught sight of the tube extending from her mouth. Bobby covered her hand with his and raised up so she could see his face.
"It's all right, Alex, it's okay. They're just giving you a little help to breathe, that's all."
Her fearful eyes met his.
"Jeremy's fine. Just a banged up arm. He's with Amarie right now. He's all right, and you will be, too."
He could see the tears welling in her eyes and he grasped her hand with his fingers. "It's okay, honey. Don't cry, Alex. Don't."
She didn't want to, but the tears slipped down her cheeks anyway, getting snared in tape and tubes along the way. Bobby reached out and gently swiped a finger over her cheek, clearing them away.
"Uhm, everyone's here. Liz and Johnny… your Dad… and Amarie's got Jeremy and Murphy even came with his wife. And Danny Ross, and Greg. We've all been waiting for you to come around again. Everybody is looking forward to seeing you, to talking to you."
She almost rolled her eyes at that, and he smiled. Yes, it was stupid. She couldn't talk so long as there was a tube down her throat. "You know, later," Bobby amended. "For now, you've got me. And if you're sick of me, Liz."
Her fingers squeezed his hand, and he smiled again. "You're sick of me?" He teased.
Alex's stare and a tight squeeze of her hand conveyed her message. No. You're not going anywhere, Goren.
She didn't miss the love in his eyes when he stared back, either.
"Go ahead, sleep if you're tired," Bobby told her. "I'll be here." He watched as her eyes slowly got heavier, and she fell back asleep.
Bobby kept hold of her hand as he returned to his seat. He felt the tears bubbling up again. He was like a volcano, emotions roiling deep inside and only one way out. He tried to force it back again, but this time, he couldn't do it. He turned his head to the side and covered his face with his left hand. Bobby cried, not really sure why it had to hit him now, when she was improving, rather than when he first heard the news or when she was in surgery. It didn't make any sense. He sobbed, trying to suppress it, trying not to wake her with his ridiculous emotions.
The blip of the heart monitor was like a mantra, keeping him tethered by her, staring blankly at the wall, the tube in her mouth, the spot on her pillow where some strands of her hair splayed out like a dandelion puff.
"Bobby?"
It was Liz's voice, from the hallway. He turned to her, and she motioned him over. He shook himself out of the fog he was in and walked over to her.
"Amarie thinks Jeremy should go home. His arm is hurting and he's starting to cry a lot."
"He's asking for me?"
"Both of you. I don't know if you should go down there. He'll probably never let you go."
"I have to take him to the doctor tomorrow."
"Right. So your place is with Alex tonight."
Bobby rubbed the back of his neck, thinking. He hated that he couldn't go and comfort Jeremy, but Liz was right. He would most likely melt down when he had to say goodbye again. "Uhm, just, uhm, give Amarie your key?"
Liz had a key to their apartment, just in case they would ever need her to take care of something for them. Alex and Bobby had talked about giving a key to Amarie since she was on her own with Jeremy now, but hadn't had one made yet. Liz nodded.
"And, uhm, how did she get here?" Bobby asked. Amarie was as likely to use public transportation as to drive any day.
"She took the subway."
He sighed and rubbed his neck again. He had ridden with Greg in a fleet vehicle. "The car seat," he said, looking Alex's way. "We don't have one now."
"I'll take care of it. I'll get Johnny to go buy a car seat, and I'll give them a ride home."
"I should go talk to him."
"Not yet, Bobby. Jeremy doesn't understand. He'll just get more upset."
Goren squeezed his eyes shut, again feeling like he might erupt with tears. This was hard, too hard, and it wasn't fair to any of them. At the touch of Liz's hand, he opened his eyes once more.
"It's okay, Bobby. We'll look after him. We're family. You take care of my sister."
He nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat. Liz kissed his cheek and looked at Alex, then hurried away.
