AARON & JACKSON
-1912: The Aftermath-
"Broken Souls"
A few hours passed in complete silence, Aaron was in the living room, Jackson was upstairs with Jak and Adam and Chas were in the kitchen. None of the adults were getting any sleep that night. They all milled around for hours occasionally exchanging the odd word but none to Aaron, they likely would through the night but not yet.
It was almost one am, and Adam walked back into the kitchen after going to the toilet. He was fed up with the silence, he cautiously approached Chas. "Babe…listen, I know you're not okay, if I could have stopped him I would have"
Chas backed away a little, her mascara had ran and she had no intention of bothering to clean it off, her tears were coming and going anyway, they had been so far, understandably. "But you knew something was up"
"Yeah but I didn't know what he'd done"
"You knew how angry he was why didn't you keep an eye on him?" she asked as the tears started again.
"Chas, at the time me and Jackson were asleep when he did it, we woke up and he wasn't there, some things didn't make sense but I just put it down to him being tired, Chas…please, this isn't my fault"
Chas blew out a deep breath and shook her head. "No, of course it's not I'm sorry"
Aaron nodded and at the same time Aaron passed across the hallway and walked upstairs, they heard the bathroom door closing quietly.
Chas wiped her tears away and approached Adam and held his hands in hers. "W-we can't have secrets Adam, you should have told one of us, I can't have that especially when there's a baby to think about"
Adam frowned "Jak will be fine" he told her with a chuckle.
Chas smiled slightly. "I'm not on about Jak Adam, I'm on about ours" her smile had widened and happy tears fell.
Adam's eyes widened and he smiled. "You what?"
Chas nodded. "I haven't been feeling well in the mornings for a few weeks, I know the signs, so I went to the doctor, I went back today and I got the results confirming it"
"Oh wow" Adam said in a whisper and stepped forward and hugged her. Chas chuckled as he does and she wraps her arms around him too. "You're happy then?"
"Of course I am he tells her I- I love you Chas, I know I've not said it before but I do" he told her as he pulled away and they shared a kiss, Chas smiled at him "I love you too"
...
A while later Adam heard the shower stop and he moved to walk to the stairs. "No, Adam…don't…" Chas quickly pleaded with him. He turned and kissed her on her lips softly. "I'll be fine, I promise" he told her then walked away up the stairs. Once on the landing Adam waited until Aaron emerged a few minutes later.
Aaron saw him but he looked away again, unable to look him in the eye, he carried on his business and walked toward him to the top of the stairs.
"It's ok Aaron, I just want to talk"
Aaron shook his head and swallowed hard. "There's nothing to say, I've done it now and do you know what I don't regret it Adam" he shook his head again "I don't. The scumbag got what he deserved in the end…" he took a breath then spoke quietly, so Jackson didn't hear if he was still awake in the bedroom. "I-I did it for him" he told him
Adam frowned "But what about the body Aaron? What did you do?"
"I left it, you saw how deserted that place was and even if people are there it's doubtful they'll go that far into the woods"
"You don't know that" he said with a sigh as he looked up, he needed strength! He sighed again and looked back at him. "I know he did a horrible thing but he was still a man Aaron, a man with parents who loved him despite his flaws, he might have had kids, he was just unstable. No it doesn't justify what he did, but it also doesn't justify what you did either"
Aaron nodded slowly and looked down at the floor. "Fair enough but I will never regret killing him, not this one" at the same time Jackson could hear from in the bedroom, every word and he lay crying silently.
Adam felt a lump in his throat and he felt his eyes burn as tears surfaced once again. "P-part of me understands that Aaron I do…b-but the other part of me" he stopped, taking in a sharp breath as his tears fell. He shook his head and continued. "…But a part of me hates you" he said as he sniffled and wiped his eyes as he breathed out another shaky breath.
Aaron nodded as his own tears fell. "I know"
Adam was sobbing hard now. "And it kills me! Because you are my best mate, a-and I never thought that could ever happen, after everything we've been through together"
Aaron simply nodded.
"I-I don't know where we go from here Aaron" he explained.
"That's okay" Aaron said as he looked up at him with a teary smile, he gave a final nod and walked down the stairs.
…
Jackson couldn't stay in the bedroom any longer; Jak was sound asleep so he left him and joined Chas and Adam in the kitchen, he couldn't bring himself to speak as he closed the door behind him. But when he turned they were both watching him. He swallowed hard, he hadn't spoken in hours. "I-I didn't want this"
Chas nodded as she watched him sit at the table with them. "I know love"
"I-I can't cope Chas" he told her as he broke into tears "I can't" he repeated.
Chas leaned over and hugged him tightly. Adam watched them sadly. "It will be alright mate you've got us two, and we're staying as long as you want us too"
Chas pulled away from Jackson and turned to Adam with a frown "Adam you can't assume that, things have changed now, and I'm Aaron's mum…Jackson might not want to be reminded, do you want move out Jackson?"
"What? No" Jackson replied sharply. "No, no it's not your fault he did what he did" he reassured them with a small smile.
Chas scoffed and let out a sigh. "I'm not so sure about that"
"Hey, don't do that Chas, don't!" Adam told her gently.
Jackson nodded. "He's right Chas you can't blame yourself, Aaron alone did this, he did it, not you, I- I don't know where me and him go from here if I'm honest" he said sadly.
"How do you feel love?" She wondered.
"I don't know" he told her as he shrugged. "Nothing is making sense, I-I can't think Chas...it was too much but what I do know is you're family now, I'm not gunna push you out and make you suffer for your son's killer instinct" Jackson mentally kicked himself. "I'm sorry" he quickly apologised.
Chas pouted and shook her head. "No, no you're perfectly right love. Just try to relax, have a think and we'll make sure he goes nowhere near you until you're ready, I don't think he dares anyway"
Jackson nodded and smiled gratefully.
…
A while later Chas walked slowly into the living room and saw her son, her beautiful boy, she was a wreck and tears came once again as she just stood and watched him, he was sat on the opposite end of the sofa with his legs up and his arms wrapped around them.
"Why?" Chas asked in the silence.
"Because he hurt the man I love"
"It doesn't give you the right to go around killing somebody Aaron"
Aaron shrugged. "I was angry"
"Everybody gets angry for different reasons Aaron, they don't go killing who they're mad at"
Aaron sighed. "Okay" he didn't have the energy to argue. "But it's done now and I can't change it even if I wanted too"
Chas bit her lip as her emotions continued to peak. "What happened to you?" she cried out quietly. "Where did my little boy go? W-where has my funny, gentle and kind boy gone?"
Aaron blinked away the tears. "I-I grew up" he said sadly.
Chas placed her hand on her throat and stepped forward as she sobbed. "A-are you like this cause of me?" she couldn't bare the answer if it was. "W-what did I do wrong Aaron? Please? I-I need to know what I did wrong that made you so angry that you killed two people before you're even twenty"
"No" he cried. "No, mum please you didn't do anything, I-I know we weren't very close but it's not because of you, it's not your fault I'm the way I am, it's just me" he shrugged. "I'm screwed up, I'm messed up in here" he tapped his index finger on his head. "It's not you" he sobbed. "I don't want you thinking that"
Chas broke down and sat on the sofa and put her head in her hands. "Y-You were always a trouble maker once puberty hit, always moody…I-I'd settle for that Aaron back, not the one sat there. We all loved you so much Aaron but this, what you've done…I don't know about them but I-I don't think I can" Aaron's body shuddered and his shoulders jerked up and down quickly as he cried at her words. "I- I can't" she told him as she struggled to speak through her sadness. "And it hurts me to say that Aaron…I-it really does, this is not how I wanted your life to go, I-I never even imagined you'd do such a thing, even though you had a temper. I am so…so sorry Aaron…but I can't love you anymore, you've hurt me too much. When you told us earlier…I-I went into shock, you'd done it again…" she sighed, and took a few breaths to calm down. "In my eyes…I lost my son the night he killed Carl" Instantly at those words Aaron let out a heart-breaking cry, which made her cry again. "I-I'm sorry" she told him and got up and left the living room, but Adam was there to comfort her.
…
Chas had taken herself to bed, completely drained from the events of the day night and early morning, she didn't sleep.
Adam and Jackson were sat at the kitchen table and Adam couldn't keep it in any longer. "I've got some news and it might not be the right time mate but I can't keep it in…"
Jackson smirked. "Tell me"
"How do you feel about another baby around the house?"
Jackson jaw dropped and he grinned, nodding his head.
"But I don't want him to know Jackson"
"I understand" Jackson told him. "I'm so happy for you mate, I really, really am" he said as tears fell from his eyes.
Adam smiled as he placed his hand over Jackson's "If I could take it all away" he began as his tone wavered because of his sadness "I'd do it in a second"
Jackson nodded and turned his hand and gripped Adams "We've lost him mate" he told him and they both simply cried together, that fact was so true. When they calmed down Jackson stood up. "Something I need to do alright…keep a listen out just in case"
"Jackson?" Adam asked with a frown.
"Just keep a listen out…I might need ya I might not" he shrugged. "I don't know yet"
Adam nodded and watched him walk along to the living room where Aaron was.
Jackson stopped in the doorway and his heart sank when he looked at him sat on the sofa in the same place he was when Chas spoke to him. Jackson walked in and sat on the sofa with him. Aaron frowned and turned to face Jackson, what was going on?
"I've uh…I've heard some of the conversations that have gone on with you tonight…and I…I understand why you did it for me, I do, but like Adam said he was a man Aaron, he was despite what he did to me. But what you did does not help me in the slightest, I can imagine you didn't even think anything through before you blew his brains out but it was pointless Aaron, it won't help me, the only thing that can help me are the people I love and…" he blew out a breath. "Well…" he smiled softly at Aaron but Aaron knew what was coming and his lower lip trembled. "In some way deep down I will always love you Aaron, you did make me happy, you changed my life but I can't live that love…" he narrowed his eyes at him. "You're too messed up and I have Jak to think about, you've killed again and I know where that takes us now…"
Aaron just dropped his head in his hands.
Jackson wiped away his tears and took in a deep breath before continuing. "Your bag is packed, I need you to leave Aaron, I don't know where, I don't care even…" he spoke calmly, there was no nastiness from him to Aaron. "I just need you to leave…I'll always love you deep down…it will always be there" he smiled. "But you're too dangerous, I wish I could turn back time Aaron…I-I wish I could…but I can't, you're a disaster…" he cried silently and reached out and put his hand on Aaron's head and rubbed it gently. "A complete disaster and none of us can help you; you have to leave me to get on with my life"
Aaron sobbed loudly. "I love you so much Jackson, I-I'll change I won't do it again, I-I was just so mad, he hurt you, no one hurts you Jackson"
Jackson nodded as he fought back more of his tears. "I understand that Aaron, and thank you but…me and you…we-were done Aaron…please leave"
"It's the middle of the night Jackson"
Jackson nodded. "You'll manage"
Aaron cried even louder. "No, please don't do this, don't please I-I need you Jackson"
Jackson shook his head and got to his feet and turned to see Adam in the doorway holding Aaron's bag. "Come on, it'll be easier this way"
"How can it be?" Aaron asked quickly as he got to his feet.
"Because we won't end up fighting, and causing a scene, I just need you to leave quietly"
"A-Adam?" Aaron asked.
Adam nodded. "Just go mate…"
"No please I'm so sorry!" he said in a raised voice as he backed up against a wall by the door to the hallway.
Jackson shook his head. "No…come on…I have my family to think about Aaron, you don't count as that anymore" he told him then he grabbed his arm and yanked at him and dragged him to the front door, and once he opened it he threw Aaron out, followed by his bag from Adam.
"Stick around and I'll call the police, goodbye Aaron"
Aaron frowned, he knew he deserved it but some small part of him thought they would get through it, as the front door closed in front of him and he heard the lock click he fell to his knees in the darkness and cried.
In the hallway Jackson slid down the wall in bits. "He made me so happy Adam, I-in the beginning…his smile…thee smile…it brightened my life…" he sobbed. "Where did it all go wrong?"
Adam knelt down in front of him and hugged him. "It was all wrong even before then mate" he told him as he rubbed his back to soothe him.
Minutes later when Aaron calmed down, he got up and walked away from his boyfriend who he loved so much, his mum and best mate and baby Jak who he loved too and also the home they all shared, it broke his heart but he understood why. Nobody could live with a monster and despite the reasons for what he did, that was exactly what he was; a monster.
TBC…
