Chapter 56
He turned around slowly in a circle. The field of white was familiar, but instead of feeling welcomed home, he felt alarmed. "Where am I?" he demanded to know. It couldn't be….
"The Continuum, of course," said Q, who blinked into existence beside him, still displaying his human appearance.
"But you said I was going home…." He blinked and looked down at the long white robe he was now clothed in. Picard looked at Q with open confusion and a more than familiar feeling of betrayal.
"You are home, Picard. You're in the Continuum," said Q.
He shook his head. "No, I need to be returned to the future…to where I was, Q," he said beginning to feel and sound desperate.
"But this is the future, Picard. It is the future you chose to create when you had Yar rescued by Starfleet fourteen years ago, instead of kidnapped by the Q."
"So then why am I here, with you?"
Q made a face. "Why must I always explain these things to you, Picard? It is an absolute travesty to see a great mind like yours turn human again-"
"Q!"
"You are here with me, because in the timeline you have created, Yar was never with the Q, therefore she never caused the imbalance that you corrected in the last universe you were in, don't you see?" Picard stared at him silently, a feeling of dread beginning to pervade his soul. "You are here because the Borg had not emerged as a threat influenced by one of our own…because Yar was never one of our own."
"And so you never had any need to eject me from the Continuum. I never left."
"Now, you're catching on," said Q sounding delighted.
"But I still have a connection to the Borg. I remember what they did to me eleven years ago. In fact I remember everything, including everything about Yar."
"Yar had nothing to do with your original abduction by the Borg, so I am afraid those memories will always be with you. And of course you remember everything else, you are a Q."
"But I don't want to be..."
"What do you want?"
His voice began to shake with emotion. "To return to my family. To Beverly and to my son..." He wrapped his arms around himself, and leaned over, suddenly feeling completely alone.
"Your son does not know you in this timeline, Picard. In fact, Jack and Beverly never told him that he was your child. The only father Wesley has ever known has been Jack Crusher—as awful as that sounds. He remembers you only as the stoic and undoubtedly boring Captain Picard from when he was five years old, when you died. And he and Beverly and Jack all believe you to be dead—just as before."
"And if I choose to go and see them now?"
Q shrugged. "Your choice, of course. We will be disappointed to see you leave again, but the Q feel in your debt, Picard. They would not prevent you from fulfilling your wish to be with your family. A bit limited though, if you ask me…."
"But I would have to start new with them. They would have to experience me coming back from the dead again?"
"Of course," said Q. "But the good news is, the relationship between Beverly and Jack in this new timeline has deteriorated to the point that it will be much easier to convince her you are worth leaving Jack for."
"Q…that's certainly not what I want!"
"Removal of the competition? Why not? An added bonus, if you ask me."
"Jack is my best friend Q…despite everything we've been through. Maybe even because of it…."
"I will try not to be hurt, Picard. I had always presumed that I was your best friend," Q said dryly.
Picard shook his head, but said nothing for a moment.
"And Yar?"
"Thanks to your decision, she's now inconsequential in this new timeline. A dull Starfleet officer Picard…just like you used to be."
"If I was to return…I can't put them through all of that again. I'm not sure if I can go through it all again. The revealing of old secrets. The turmoil…the pain. The only difference would be that I want to be there from the start. But what if they reject me? What if they don't want anything to do with me?"
Q frowned. "So you don't want to go back to them."
"No, of course I want to go back to them…but I want to go back to the point in time right after I last saw them."
"Picard, do you not comprehend what you are saying? None of those horrific events would have happened, had Yar not first taken her interest in the Borg while she was a Q. She would not have overcome the Q or wreaked havoc on the Alpha Quadrant. I thought you considered the consequences when you made your choice."
"Q…what exactly were you thinking when Yar stuck her hand into your chest, stole your power and shoved you out into space? I acted the best I knew how in the moment I was given; that's all."
He paused and looked at Picard as though he was just seeing him for the first time. "How you could ever want to go back to that life just amazes me Picard…."
Picard frowned and looked at Q, walking closer to him. "What did you mean when you said it would be 'limited' for me to return to my family?" There was something Q was not telling him.
Q stared at him. "I had hoped to not have to discuss this with you, Picard. I had hoped that you would simply want to stay with the Q this time."
Picard paced away from him and then back again. "What is the rest Q? Tell me the rest."
"Well, there is the problem of the failsafe…."
"Failsafe? What failsafe?"
"Yar apparently developed a final catch. If she was eliminated from the reality in which you defeated her, she ensured that all other realities would, well for lack of a better word, cease to exist. "
Picard closed his eyes raising his hand. "Let me get this straight…you just told me that I could return to a reality where Yar is now simply a Starfleet Officer, because I just ensured that her future with the Q would never happen."
"Correct," said Q.
"But you are also telling me that this new reality and all others will simply stop also because I defeated her?"
"Not simply…no it will take some time, depending on the complexity of each reality. But yes, eventually they will all cease to exist."
"Well then why aren't you worried? The Q are a part of reality just as much as humans, or any other species. If reality ceases to exist, so will you."
Q shrugged. "Yes, but there are a nearly infinite number of realities, Picard. The Q can move from reality to reality as necessary. As I said, it will take some time for reality as everyone knows it to disappear. Before then, we certainly hope to find a solution to this problem."
"But you're in no rush to find one now, I see, damn you! Meanwhile do you expect me to sit up here with you in the Continuum and watch them all disappear?"
Q raised his chin, looking mildly offended. "You've got the power of the Q still, Picard. Do something…."
Picard closed his eyes tightly, and put his hands on top of his head and squeezed. He had to think this damn thing through. Then suddenly he opened his eyes and dropped his hands to his sides. "What if… Yar never disappeared from the reality in which she tormented us all?"
"You understand that she would not naturally exist in that world beyond the point when you both disappeared."
"Yes…but what if I returned to the reality just before I eliminated Yar, and a new Yar were substituted at the exact moment? Would that resolve the issue of the failsafe?"
Q smiled slightly. "What you are suggesting is quite risky, Picard. A new Yar, presumably good and upstanding now existing in a world that her previous self nearly destroyed?"
"So she could never become aware of the crimes her alternative persona committed," said Picard.
"It is an intriguing idea, Picard…."
Q folded his arms and leaned very close to Picard. "Is this really what you want, Jean-Luc?" He studied Picard's face. "Yes, it can be done…but it could be quite messy. And even I can't say what will happen in the future."
"I don't have a choice, Q. We're talking about the end of the universe as we know it…and even in all the ways we have not known it, ceasing to exist."
"I know, Picard, you would think we would both be bored with saving the universe at this point. So the next question is, if you were to implant this new Yar into your old reality, who do you want to have a memory of Yar's exploits?"
Picard paused. "I know it sounds strange, but only a handful of people actually know that Yar was the driving force behind the Borg aggression. Those on the Enterprise who were aware of her connection to the Borg and to the Q—I want them to know. They deserve to remember the truth as it happened. But not everyone on the Enterprise was even aware of who she was…no one else needs to know," said Picard.
"And what of Admiral Nechayev?"
Picard frowned. If Nechayev knew about Yar's reappearance would Natasha Yar ever truly be given a chance to advance through the ranks of Starfleet without the Admiral preventing it? "It may be more difficult not to tell Nechayev. I think that it is best if she knows, but perhaps I should be the one to explain it to her."
"Fine," allowed Q. "But the memories of those around Nechayev and in Starfleet Intelligence will need to be wiped clean of all reference to Yar, except that Yar is a Starfleet Officer on the rise. The only way to properly do this Picard is to meld two realities together. Yar, the Starfleet Officer's reality, melded with the reality you left on board the Enterprise. This new Yar cannot ever be allowed to know of her exploits."
"Well, I sure as hell am not going to tell her…assuming I were ever to meet her."
Q smiled. "Are you sure that you want to do this, Picard? It will take some time between the two of us to perfect the details. And the future is so uncertain."
"When is it ever certain?"
