AN: Welcome back, everyone! This is the end of the Rashomon arc. This chapter is also like 75% dialogue and this is where we have our dramatic reveal! Of something, at any rate. :D

Enjoy!


I woke up again, feeling less like roadkill.

I was three-for-three in passing out, flipping out, or otherwise losing the thread of reality. Having noted this pattern, I decided that the best thing to do would not be to sit up and possibly hit a certain asshole mini-jōnin in the face, but instead to lie on whatever I was already lying on and try to take stock without opening my eyes.

Okay. So.

I was lying on something that felt like a gigantic leaf, at least without any additional visual info. My outer shirt and jacket were gone, and I could feel something wrapped around both my arms, and something else stuck to my back. Flexing my fingers and toes was easy enough, though I felt stiff and I didn't have my shoes or forearm holsters on for whatever reason. After a second or two, I prodded cautiously at the world around me with my chakra sense.

Rin was lying down, curled onto her side with her back to my right side. From her chakra, she was relaxed and exhausted but not asleep, and not in any particular pain. Small mercies, I suppose.

Sensei was…somewhere about ten meters away, and his chakra was jumping a little as he (probably) talked to one of the Mount Myōboku residents. Ergo, some kind of giant frog, given the shape it had. Kakashi was close to him, probably close enough to be soaking up whatever relevant information there was, like a sponge.

I was distantly glad that Kakashi was out of reach, because I kind of wanted to punch him into the sun. You know, in a "I am going to do something I regret if I am tempted" kind of sense.

Obito, on the other hand, seemed to be…kind of putting himself through some kind of exercise regimen, alongside yet another toad. For some reason, the toad that came to mind was big and green and wore lipstick, though damn if I knew why. Not all of my disorganized memories had slotted into place yet. I'd have to get up and check to be sure, and I didn't really want to do much moving around anyway.

I kind of wished I'd gotten around to writing them down, but then, anything I wrote down could be decoded or stolen. And that wouldn't do anyone any good.

I opened my eyes.

Okay. Lying under a big leaf, too. Lilypad? What do I know about toad architecture, anyway? I decided not to worry about it.

…Turns out sitting up, on its own, gave me a lot to think about. I bent my knees in order to sort of roll upright as I swung my legs, but stopped halfway to get a look at myself. Resting my forearms on my bent knees and feet flat on the ground, I tried to take stock.

I was bandaged from my knuckles to the lowest curve of my shoulders, and moving my fingers confirmed the feeling of burn cream and herbal medicine dried onto my suspiciously-pink skin. I was wearing nothing shirt-wise other than a training bra and had more burn medicine smeared across my stomach and chest. There were adhesive gauze patches stuck to the left side of my ribs, my right shoulder, and the side of my neck. There was another large, flat gauze pad stuck to my back, directly spanning the space between my shoulder blades. And if I moved my legs, I could feel more bandages and more burn cream on my legs, under my pants.

About the only particular patch of skin that wasn't in some way treated was the center of my chest, which was where Isobu's seal was a washed-out gray on my skin.

Looking at it, even upside-down, I could confirm a couple of different things. One, the seal had originally only had four "locks," shall we say. Sealing large or powerful things required a minimum of three "corners" on which to rotate the prisoner's chakra and maintain seal stability. Four was barely above that, but it was also indicative of a different sealing style. If I remembered correctly, four was the base number that Uzumaki sealing styles used, and more durable for it.

Naruto's seal had comprised eight trigrams, was composed by one of the greatest seal masters ever, and had Shinigami backup. Mine was stuck at four, sealed by an asshole who didn't even have the decency to die in the process, and designed to be temporary. The four alone might not have been enough to hold off Isobu's mental influence, though, so Sensei had added the Five Elements Seal on top.

…Which had the neat and rather depressingly effective ability to fuck with my chakra control like no one's business.

I'd have to ask about getting it removed. Hopefully, Sensei would have better options for reinforcement.

Looking around, I quickly located my jacket and my mesh shirt. After some consideration, I left the jacket—which had been somewhat thoroughly shredded, even if I couldn't remember quite how—and pulled the shirt over my head with minimal difficulty. And since for some reason my shoes were nowhere to be found, I got up and walked barefoot out into the sun. Rin could nap without me, I reasoned, and I needed to know things more than I needed to spend the rest of the day snoozing.

Though I admit that it would have been nice.

Also, no one was telling me not to get up and walk and I wasn't in much pain, so I suppose it was all right.

The sun felt nice, really. It was another way, for me, of confirming that I was still alive and also not in immediate danger of losing that status. Hopefully.

I mean, it was the region owned by toad summons. People couldn't get here without a map, a compass, a guide, and a sextant. I was pretty sure that meant that Madara couldn't have seeded the area with spies, or done the Orochimaru thing with the seals Obito and I were still probably carrying—why would he?

…Speaking of which, I had a theory about why Sensei had brought us here rather than straight back to Konoha.

Sometimes I wished I could turn my brain off and watch TV like I used to.

It took a bit, but eventually I found all the boys.

Obito was indeed mimicking a big green frog with lipstick, Sharingan out and spinning as he copied the katas. I couldn't remember his name, but he didn't seem to be half as resentful of Obito's spirited mimicry as he would with Naruto during Sage training. Maybe it was the fact that Obito was laughing at himself the entire time, flailing around in a shirt that was two to four sizes too big for him and probably belonged to Sensei. The ends of the sleeves flopped around well past his fingertips, and he seemed thoroughly distracted.

Kakashi was sitting on a huge curved leaf, sort of like the one that Rin and I had been napping under, and watched Obito and his new frog buddy dance. From his chakra, I could feel a bizarre mix of mild envy, lingering surprise, and a sort of belated happiness, which I decided made sense. I still wanted to punch him into next week, though, and didn't go talk to him. I only met his eyes for a moment, and he looked away first. I didn't need to talk to him.

Instead, I headed toward Sensei.

Sensei was, for his part, talking to a triad of toads. One was a large, orange-and-blue-striped creature with prominent spikes over both eyes. Even sitting, it was about three times as tall as Sensei was and a good dozen times as wide, if not more. It wore a ceremonial necklace with beads as large as a man's ribcage, and had a belly band running across its midsection. He also wasn't talking. But on his forelegs, dwarfed in comparison, were two tiny toads that were oddly familiar.

Shima (off-yellow with purple highlights and lipstick) and Fukasaku (green with a goatee, fuzzy eyebrows, and a topknot)—also known as two of the most powerful masters of toad Sage arts, and some of the only people alive who could call Jiraiya "-chan."

"…Minato-chan, your student is right behind you." Shima was saying.

Well, so much for being able to eavesdrop. Oh well.

Sensei turned and blinked at me for a moment, before saying, "I didn't expect you to be up already." He knelt next to me as both cat-sized toads hopped off of Gama, making me feel a little cornered. He had my wrist in his hand practically before I noticed, and turned my arm carefully. "Are you feeling all right?"

"Stiff, and my chakra control's awful." I said bluntly. I tapped my chest with my free hand and Sensei had the decency to look a little apologetic. "But I'm not on fire or melting, so I guess that's okay."

"That's what I like to hear." He let go of my wrist and, somewhat hesitantly, ruffled my hair again. Back to old times, really.

"You set very low standards." I told him.

"True. But I think that I'm justified." Sensei nodded at Obito, who was laughing at Kakashi, who had been the victim of a Water jutsu from the lipstick frog while I wasn't looking. I could only imagine what had triggered it.

"…Point." I gave up. Then another thought hit me. "Wait a minute. I still have all my skin. How did that happen?"

"You had help, Keisuke-chan." Shima piped up from around shin height.

I sat down so she could speak to me eye-to-eye, since I didn't want her to have to climb on Sensei. "I didn't know toads had medics." I admitted. Most of the toads Jiraiya and Naruto favored were powerful fighters, rather than supporting units.

"Well, of course we do." Shima patted my bandaged hands. "And of course little Rin-chan helped. Wore herself out that way, sadly, but you're both fine."

"Being a jinchūriki helped." Fukasaku added. He crossed his arms. Forelegs. Whatever. "A normal human probably wouldn't have lasted so long, and definitely wouldn't recover quickly."

At that moment, I was sort of belatedly trying to decide whether to take offense or not. The word "jinchūriki" was used to mean "Tailed Beast Host," but its literal translation was "power of human sacrifice." Often, the people carrying Tailed Beasts around weren't considered human, and treated accordingly. At most, a lot of hosts had lonely, miserable lives if their status was known, and a number of them had gone berserk. It reinforced the public perception of hosts as inhuman monsters. Whether the incidents were due to seal degradation or accumulated mental trauma, I couldn't really say. I only had about, what, ten examples? Much as I hated to rely too heavily on scientific methodology when it came to people, I didn't know enough about seals, people's lives, or the effects of one on the other to be sure.

I was currently Isobu's metaphorical landlord, so I got an automatic pass into a club I wasn't sure I wanted to be in. Too late for that now, though. Anytime I talked about the issue, I'd have to use "us" instead of "they." It hardly made sense to disqualify myself from host status when I knew I'd start hearing Isobu eventually.

"Kei-kun, are you listening?" Sensei asked.

"Not really." I mumbled, balancing my head on one hand. Shima let go of my other one, though my brain decided to continue spinning even with both hands to support it.

Augh.

"As we were saying, Minato-chan, it really would be best if we could get everyone together again." Fukasaku said, as Shima climbed up to sit on my knee. "The Great Toad Sage may not be as quick as he used to be, but he did say there was something important we had to all know."

My train of thought basically went "Great Toad Sage equals prophecy equals important therefore Jiraiya."

…Or, in a more coherent way, everyone involved with the toad summon contract was usually obligated to shut the fuck up and pay attention. I didn't know how many prophecies the gigantic old toad usually made, but he was famous for being accurate. Far beyond the usually Harry Potter sort of way that most fortune-tellers had. Or the Oracle of Delphi, I suppose.

"Who did he ask for?" Sensei asked, brows furrowed.

"Jiraiya-chan, of course, and you." Shima said. "But also your students, and a girl with long red hair. I don't suppose you know someone like that?"

Sensei, I noticed, had gone a little pale.

"…It'd be best if we sent a messenger to Konoha." Sensei said, closing his eyes. "Kōsuke, if he's back already, or maybe Gekomatsu. Have him ask Jiraiya-sensei and Kushina-chan to come along. We…may be here a while."

"What about Rin-chan?" I asked. Both of the sages looked at me. "Rin isn't one of Sensei's students, but…"

"She can stay." Shima said firmly.

That was the end of that.


Messages were sent, and people were summoned through bizarre methods I would have to research later. We didn't see much in the way of results for a while, though, so that meant waiting.

Also, Obito finally had a chance to vent while we were waiting.

"I can't believe he thought I was going to fall for that!" Obito was saying, waving his arms with the sleeves of his shirt rolled back to his wrists, so he could gesticulate properly. "I mean, yeah, maybe I owed the old man a thing or two since he pulled me out of a rockslide and stitched me back together, but that's not enough to excuse anything he's done."

Rin had gotten up at some point and was sitting between Kakashi and Obito. I could feel her attention jump back and forth between everyone in our little circle, since Sensei was off arguing with a messenger toad about summoning weight limits or something.

I was lying down, eyes closed, and trying not to think about the knot in my stomach. I was a little distracted by a feeling of impending doom, but I didn't mind letting him ramble.

"I told Sensei everything I could remember. The network of Zetsu clones and, um, then there was the thing about the statue. What was that thing, anyway?" Obito then abruptly switched to, "And I guess Madara's gotten so old he really is senile, because his evil master plan is a dream world. Like a permanent genjutsu, but powered by the freaky old statue? If it could boost Guruguru, I guess it could give more power to a genjutsu, but…"

Thank the Powers That Be that he hadn't managed to lose his optimism after months in that pit.

"But telling Sensei kind of doesn't work 'cause I already did it and then I remembered about the Zetsu clones." Obito frowned. "I don't know how many there are, and there's a good chance one of them saw our fight and told Madara to leave. I mean, I don't know if he can but that's the idea. He'd probably break a hip. Better to let the statue do everything."

"I just don't see how a huge evil statue makes any sense." Rin said. "At all."

"Well, it could move. It was really freaky when it moved, since it spends all its time with its hands over its face, but it's not really a statue either." Obito paused. "Maybe a really weird summon? Kei, what do you think?"

Well, having an idea of what statue Obito was talking about… "I think that if there is a thing that exists at the end of the universe and eats time, that statue is its bastard grandchild."

"…What?" Kakashi said.

"Never mind." No one here had heard of Weeping Angels. Or of Anima. And no one there had heard of the Demonic Statue of the Outer Path.

Kakashi's chakra maintained its nonplussed sensation.

"And it had ten eyes." Obito went on, as though he had never asked for my opinion. "And it looked like those mummies, you know, from the reports about people who get hit with Scorch Release bloodlines? Only it was even bigger than the Hokage Monument!"

"You were in a cave." Rin pointed out.

Obito pouted. "It was a big cave."

I also thought that the aforementioned statue was basically a gigantic Diglett. Tunneled like a champ, but through space-time. I didn't share that thought with them, though.

Or maybe it was the thing under a Diglett. No one ever checked.

"So, anyway, I didn't wake up and see all of that for a while. I mean, it wasn't so long that my hair grew out—that happened later—but I think Madara must have used the seal then. When I think about him sticking his claws…" Obito trailed off, shuddering.

"The seal doesn't actually require open heart surgery, Obito." I told him.

"Doesn't matter!" Obito argued. "You weren't there and I didn't wake up for a while and augh."

"Didn't Sensei take care of it?" I asked Kakashi, since Obito seemed to be in the middle of whatever he was doing. Histrionics, probably.

"He did. Then he went back and tightened the securing seals on yours and told us to wait for a second opinion." Kakashi answered. I still wasn't actually looking at him, because that would probably remind me to attempt murder.

No, I still wasn't over the hypnosis thing.

"Will you stop moping? Kakashi used the Sharingan on you like you asked!" Rin said.

What?

When…did I…?

"When your second personality took over, she made a request." Kakashi said. It wasn't really an explanation, but I was filling in the blanks anyway.

That bitch. That horrible, stupid, brave…

"Whoa, what? Kei, you don't have a second personality, do you?" Obito asked.

I opened my eyes and sat up abruptly. I looked around at my friends, who were giving me various degrees of the Funny Look, and said, "I never told her to do anything other than keep us alive." I held up a finger. "Further, just because she and I shared a body doesn't mean she gets to call the shots after she's dead. Further again, yes, they're both reincorporated, and shut up."

And then I flopped back down, unsure why the hell I was even angry but prepared to wallow in it anyway.

"…How long have you had other personalities?" Rin wanted to know.

"Since I was eight and my dad took me to a Yamanaka and the mind technique he used did weird things," was my response. Accurate as anything. Probably more accurate than whatever I'd theorized before, even. Yamanaka mind-walking plus weird shit equaled weirder shit.

"So, wait, you've been walking around with extra voices since we met?" Obito looked stunned.

"No, it was after." Which wasn't the point, and I could see that he didn't appreciate the technicality. "Look, yes, I've had two extra personalities in my head for a while and thanks to pressure from the events of the last day or so, they've been squashed back into me. But up until then, I never lost control or blacked out unless you count occasional sleepwalking."

I'd never sleepwalked, actually, but let them believe that I had and maybe they'd stop being so nosy.

…if the Dreamer hadn't reincorporated, I would have wondered where this sudden urge to explain things came from. As she had, I didn't.

"But that doesn't make any sense!" Rin argued. I blinked at her. "Why would your dad take you to a Yamanaka if you were fine before? Was there some reason you needed to be put through that?"

"Rin-chan…I'm not sure you noticed, but I am okay. As in, 'not dead' and 'not on a murderous rampage,' sure, but they helped out." Because Id could channel aggression away from my mind and leave the unbridled energy that made me chatty for the twenty or so minutes Isobu had been raging, and the Dreamer had done her job in the end. Protected us. "It's fine."

"Why do people insist on defining 'okay' like that?" Rin muttered.

"Uh…" said Obito, who had fulfilled disqualifying one condition or the other in a different timeline, without his knowledge.

"I'm more interested in why you needed to see a Yamanaka in the first place." Kakashi said bluntly, and yet still not meeting my eyes. He was staring off somewhere to the left, like whatever was over there had given him personal insult and he was about to demand a duel at dawn.

On second thought, maybe it was better that he was glaring at a rock.

And, of course, he asked the big question.

"…Constant night terrors made it impossible for me to sleep at night." I said after a moment. "They started a little after my brother ended up in the hospital for the first time."

Aaaaand he was looking at me instead of whatever stupid target had earned his wrath first. Great.

I rolled back into a sitting position, forcing myself to loosen up a little. Still not supposed to choke him for being annoying and not apologizing since anyway I was doing the same thing. Two wrongs, etc. I let myself sit cross-legged and supported my head with one hand, elbow on my thigh. "It was a difficult few years." But obviously the concerned faces around me weren't going to be satisfied with that.

…Crap. I obviously couldn't tell them the entire story. But…

They'd waited long enough, in some respects, for the story of a lifetime. Just not theirs.

"Why didn't you tell us about any of this stuff?" Obito asked, looking hurt.

"After about the fifth time I dreamed Rin-chan was dead and you were drenched in blood, I figured Dad's idea of mind-walking had more merit." Whoops, honesty. Sort of. "Of course, I say that now, but I was eight and still figured Dad knew what to do." And I'd been so desperate that I'd been willing to trust a mind-reader. Clearly that had been a wonderful, wonderful time. I closed my eyes briefly. "I went to him to get the nightmares to stop, and he did."

"…I'm almost sorry I asked." Obito said quietly.

"Don't be. It's not like you knew me that well back then." I shrugged. Kakashi was still staring at me. "And I didn't know you, Kakashi, so don't even start. I got used to the idea of not actually needing to think about it."

"But Kei-chan…" Rin looked so disappointed that I almost stopped.

Almost.

Besides, I was a lot better at being disappointed in myself and at that point it had turned into a sort of motivational kick in the pants.

I crossed my arms over my chest, muttering under my breath. "Right. Well. Here I go." Wow, why was this so hard? Oh right, soul-baring time. Crap.

"What?" Obito asked.

"I'm going to tell a story." I said, looking between Kakashi and Obito and Rin and hoping I was doing the right thing. "All I ask is that you don't interrupt, and that you hold questions until the end." Not like I knew what the end was.

"Am I missing something?" Sensei asked, and every single one of us jumped in surprise, whirling on our butts to look at our newly arrived Sensei.

Well, Sensei plus guests—he was carrying Kushina, and Jiraiya was holding onto his sleeve.

I found my voice first and said, "Well, you're just in time for the confessional."

"What's a confess—OH MY GOD, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!" This last was directed at Obito by a surprised and actually rather angry Kushina, who immediately targeted the wayward Uchiha for a cuddle-tackle.

Obito lost.

"I have to admit, Minato, I never expected one of your students to come back from the dead." Jiraiya was saying, though I could just barely hear him over the noise generated by Kushina throttling Obito and including Kakashi in the freak-out just as collateral damage. Rin was spared.

I didn't expect either of the boys to be especially coherent afterward.

"Are you all right?" Sensei asked.

"I've been asked that a hundred times today—the honest answer is 'no,' but I keep answering 'yes' anyway." I said.

"And you." Kushina said, leaving the boys where they were. I made a noise like "eep." I could sass Sensei, but Kushina…haha, no. She'd kill me.

"Uh." I said.

She hugged me. "Oh, Kei-chan. It's going to be all right."

I looked at Sensei over Kushina's shoulder, who held up his hands to ward off any possible wrathful response and said, "I had to tell her what happened."

"…And you didn't tell my mother." I said flatly.

"Oh no, we did." Kushina interrupted, giving me another squeeze. "And let me tell you, I can see why Minato's afraid of her."

"Am not."

"Are too, infinity."

Sensei groaned.

"Settle down, kids." Jiraiya was chuckling, though, which defeated any kind of serious air he was trying to achieve.

At least Kushina didn't get to go on about "the first thing you have to know about having a demon in your head." That would have been bad. Also awkward, even though everyone here probably knew and they'd partially been called in to check on the seal.

Shima and Fukasaku had also come back. I didn't even know where they'd gone, actually—between the two of them, they were probably our babysitters. I remembered vaguely that Shima in particular was one of the greatest sensors alive (with possible allowances made for those whose species couldn't live for centuries), so it wasn't like we could have wandered out of her range by accident.

"Can we do something before we go to meet the Great Toad Sage?" I asked everyone.

Jiraiya blinked. "…Why?"

"It's kind of important and you arrived in the middle of the beginning." I said, as Kushina finally stopped squishing me. "And…well, you probably deserve to know."

"I doubt the Great Old Geezer will notice if we're late." Shima said, shrugging. "Go on, Keisuke-chan."

"Uh." I'd never quite expected to get even that much of an endorsement. "Okay. Everyone sit down first."

They did. Shima and Fukasaku decided to sit on Jiraiya and Sensei's shoulders, respectively.

"I'd better start at the beginning." I muttered, half to myself.

"Is this where you explain why you were carrying around chakra suppressing and seal-canceling seals?" Sensei asked. All of us looked at him. "I just want to point it out. Every other mission has involved explosives, with minimal storage seals. There must have been a reason for you to change your preparations."

If Sensei wanted to hand me an opportunity, I guess that meant I had to take it, right?

"That's because I had a hunch they'd be needed." I said.

"…Huh?" That was Obito.

"You knew there was a chance you'd need to suppress an active seal?" Kakashi demanded.

"Yep." I said.

"But that's impossible." Rin said. "You can't see the future."

"The fact that the Great Toad Sage is known for his prophecies says otherwise." I countered, vaguely aware of the look on Jiraiya's face. He didn't exactly seem confused… Well. Anyway. "Remember those dreams I used to have? Well, it turns out that what I was seeing was a combination of the future and the past, usually of people I hadn't met. And please, can we go back to that thing about not interrupting? That'd be great."

Everyone decided to stay quiet.

"Starting from about when I was five, I've had chronic nightmares. At eight, Dad took me to see Inoshi Yamanaka, which got them mostly under control." I paused, thinking. "By age nine, I was starting to understand what I was seeing."

Luckily, Jiraiya was here. Made things a little easier.

"Jiraiya-sama, you had three students in the Land of Rain before the end of the Second Shinobi World War." I said, and watched Jiraiya blanch. The events of that time had been before I'd ever met anyone connected to the Plot, and should have been impossible for me to know. "Their names are Yahiko, Konan, and Nagato, and Nagato carries the Rinnegan. You thought he was the child of prophecy, because that bloodline was a throwback to the time of the Sage of Six Paths. He and his friends are in the middle of a civil war in Rain, but if things go the way they did when I saw them, only two of them are going to make it out alive." I looked down. "Yahiko dies to save Konan, who is being held hostage by shinobi from both the Land of Rain and Konoha's ROOT division. Nagato kills every last one of them, and they never report back to Danzō or Hanzō. Nagato goes on to kill every living person with any connection to Hanzō, completing his takeover.

"Eventually, the organization that those three founded—Akatsuki—will become known as one of the most notorious criminal gangs in the history of the Five Elemental Nations. Their goal is to collect the Tailed Beasts in order to create a superweapon—at least, according to Nagato." I wasn't looking at anyone. "Nagato masters the Rinnegan in time, and when it comes time to capture the Nine-Tailed Fox, attacks Konoha. But not before killing you, Jiraiya-sama, when you try to chase down rumors that your students are still alive.

"He, along with Konan, flattens Konoha over the course of an hour. In the search for the then-current host of the Nine-Tailed Fox, he and Konan kill hundreds of shinobi—Kakashi included. The Hokage falls into a coma." Kakashi's chakra jumped. I kept going. "And then the Nine-Tailed Beast's host arrives to see the damage and the death toll, and goes berserk." Kushina winced. "He's talked down, though, and beats Nagato into submission instead of killing everyone. He…I guess he's something else. The child of prophecy, I mean. He talked Nagato out of his plan. Then Nagato dies, using his Rinnegan abilities to revive everyone he killed at the cost of his own life.

"And later, when Konan takes Nagato away for burial and can finally give up the insane dream…the man behind everything appears, and kills her. He takes Nagato's eyes. He goes on with the plan as though nothing happened."

I took a deep breath. "That vision doesn't change. It doesn't account for change—already, hundreds of parameters have shifted and in all likelihood nothing will turn out that way. But the fact that I was able to act on some of the knowledge I did have—with regards to Tailed Beasts and conspiracies—and change something means that my vision of the future was rigid and is rapidly becoming useless."

"While that's an interesting story, Kei-kun, I'm not sure how—Sensei?" Sensei blinked as Jiraiya's hand came down in front of his face, cutting him off.

"Keisuke," Jiraiya said to me, "do you have any idea how rare that information is?"

"Yes, actually." I frowned. "The only people who knew about those three Rain kids were Orochimaru and Tsunade. I know that."

Jiraiya's frown was all-encompassing. "What does your gift have to say about the rest of us?"

…Well. Awkward. "You already heard how you died." I said after a moment. "When they called the Sage of Six Paths that, they weren't just talking metaphorically. Rinnegan-users can puppet other bodies to use in combat, and at least one of them has the ability to revive the other five if they get disabled. There are six fakes, and one real one." I'd only seen it twice, but it was enough to guess that the six-spares thing was a rule. "You…didn't know that. Shima-sama and Fukasaku-sama were with you almost to the end."

I bit my lip. Kakashi was still staring. "Kakashi, you died of chakra exhaustion. Technically."

"You're kidding." His voice and visible expression were equally nonplussed.

"There was a team of six or seven shinobi trying to take on the Deva Path at the same time. That one had the ability to…well, push things really hard." I tried to think. "When I say 'push,' I really mean something more like 'manipulate gravity.' You died buying Chōza Akimichi and his son time to escape and warn the rest of the village about his power limitations." Which didn't amount to much.

"What happened to Minato and me, though?" Kushina broke in. I gave her a blank look and she said, "You said the host of the Nine-Tailed Fox was a boy. And…and I'm the host now. What happens to us?"

Ah, fuck.

Sensei looked worried. "Kei-kun?"

"In the dreams I had?" I said bleakly. "You were both dead before Kakashi turned fifteen."

"WHAT." Kushina, again. She struggled for a couple of seconds to get her anger under control before demanding, "How?"

"In about six months, a masked man appears just after your son is born." I said, imagining the moment even as I spoke. "The…the seal on the Nine-Tails is weaker, after labor, and he broke the seal. Killed everyone in the room just before, so neither of you had backup. Sensei fought him and chased him off eventually, but he controlled the Nine-Tails with his Sharingan and set it on the village."

"Is that how you knew a Sharingan could control the Three-Tails?" Kakashi asked.

"No. That was a different thing." For one thing, there were historical records of Madara Uchiha controlling the Nine-Tails in his climactic fight with Hashirama Senju, before Mito Uzumaki sealed it into herself. That last part wasn't common knowledge, though. And for another, Sasuke of all people had managed to disrupt Naruto pulling out the Nine-Tails's chakra during their first meeting in Shippūden. That kind of shit was distinctive. "And besides that, I think it only works for three-tomoe Sharingan on up."

"Uh, Kei, that's kind of the definition of a fully-evolved Sharingan." Obito said.

"The Mangekyō Sharingan says otherwise." I said. I shook my head. "Anyway, Sensei beat it back with Gamabunta. Kushina, you used your chakra chains on the Nine-Tails and tried to pull it back, trying to make it die with you…but it wasn't enough. You were dying and Sensei was the only one who could…could make the choice." I blinked rapidly. "You both sealed the Nine-Tails into your newborn son."

Sensei didn't have to die that day but he did and they could have saved Kushina too and argh fuck that entire sequence of events with a cactuar.

Sensei and Kushina had both gone deathly white. Rin had both of her hands over her mouth. Kakashi was stock-still, and Obito looked sick. Jiraiya, I noticed distantly, had his hand clenched over his knee.

"I…you knew I was pregnant. That I'd have a boy." Kushina said after a moment. "That…everything might happen after."

"I knew you'd have a son, if things went the same. But they won't." I looked at Rin. "Rin, did you want to know what happened to you?"

"...No. Not really, but if it helps…?" Rin's voice was very small.

"If we go by the visions, you died four hours ago." I said, and pulled my knees up to my chest. "Just goes to show, they really don't account for variation."

"What about you?" Kakashi asked.

I smiled darkly. "Funnily enough, I don't know. I don't know what the Powers That Be were thinking, showing a girl visions of every single person around her dying horribly, but not going to the normal nightmare stuff." The persistent nightmares about velociraptors, sadly, were a relic of my old life. The fact that Jeff Goldblum was in them was a hint.

Kakashi frowned anyway. What was his problem?

"How did I die?" Rin asked. Her brown eyes were wide.

…Dammit. Should have bugged Kakashi anyway.

"...Instead of me, you were kidnapped and made into a Tailed Beast host." I began, hesitant. Well, at least that kind of seemed like it was within the realm of possibility. "You got the same treatment I did, with the mind-control seal, and they told you about it. If you made it back to Konoha without neutralizing it…well, it would be bad. And you'd die anyway, because broken seal or not a Host can't survive if the Beast is removed. Kakashi was the only one on the rescue mission and he got you as far as we did, this time, before you were both cornered.

"When Kakashi was going to try and fight them off, buying you some time until hell if I know, since it wasn't like you could run with that many guys on your tail, you…took a different way out." I swallowed hard. "It turns out that the Chidori can kill a Tailed Beast Host. Especially if she throws herself on it."

Simultaneously, Kakashi and Rin both paled.

"Obito, when you broke the tree line and yelled at us? It happened then. That exact second." I watched Obito turn red.

"That is bullshit." Obito snapped. "That didn't happen! You were there, and—!"

"But that's the point." Kakashi interrupted, still a little shaky. All of us blinked at him. "Kei, your visions don't account for your own existence."

"…Well, yes." I said blankly. I'd kind of taken that as a given, since I knew the origins of my "visions." Of course they wouldn't account for me. "That kind of plays into the answer to Obito's question.

"In my visions, I don't run in the same circles as any of you do." I said nonchalantly. I'd come to terms with everything quite some time ago, really. And had come up with a talent for understatement that made everything seem a little less horrible in the meantime. "I effectively don't exist. Instead of Team Minato being made up of Obito Uchiha, me, and Kakashi Hatake, Rin was there instead."

That sank in. Slowly.

"While I don't know Rin-chan so well," Kushina said after a moment, into the silence, "I'm not sure how much that changes the story. She's a smart girl and a talented medic, and I suppose that none of us would miss you, Kei-chan, because none of us would know there was someone to miss."

"Exactly." I agreed. But Rin was normal and I was a specific kind of head case.

I sure as fuck wasn't normal. Normal only survived so long.

"Strong emotional surges made the visions impossible to control." I continued, "Even though I had two personalities as pressure release options, it did fail me at least a couple of times." When Obito got crushed. Mostly just that. "Anyway, I did get a series of compounding bad feelings about Kannabi before we were even really on that mission. Thought I could do something about it. Failed."

Spectacularly.

"Kei…" Obito began. I didn't know if he was going to try to absolve me of blame or what.

"That's not the worst part. I failed to make a difference while acting on my visions." I talked right over him. Probably would need to apologize later. "Thing is? The string of events that led to Rin's death in my visions started there. And what I did—" what I failed to do, "—wasn't enough." I pinched the bridge of my nose. "If I was so sure that Kannabi was a keystone, I should have done something to keep you away from the rocks, or gotten us all out sooner, or something. Instead, I let my freak-out take over and lo, we all nearly got killed anyway. I was sure you were dead, Obito, and if you could see the things I did…"

"Kei, what happened to me?" Obito asked. "What's so bad that you've skipped over me twice and can't even look at me right now?"

"...Obito, what do you think would have happened if you had showed up just when it looked like Kakashi was killing Rin-chan?" I asked bleakly, and Obito went pale. "If no one had been able to tell you about the seals, or the kidnapping, or anything about what really happened? What would have happened if you didn't realize Madara was playing you?" I paused. "Keeping in mind that I effectively didn't exist in that world. I didn't know you and you didn't know me. But Madara knew how the Mangekyō Sharingan can destroy an Uchiha's sanity when it activates, and it did.

"Let me show you something." I said, and sat up a little so I was on my knees instead of my butt. I started drawing a sequence of circles in the dirt—Sharingan designs, from left to right. The leftmost one had only one tomoe, the next had two, and the third had three. The fourth, fifth, and sixth ones rapidly developed into some of the Mangekyō designs I'd seen over the course of what seemed like hundreds of nightmares. Itachi's—simplest by far, but also overused. The one after that was the one that Kakashi and Obito shared, with more bladelike structures in black than Itachi's had had, and finally Madara's Eternal Mangekyō variant. "These are the most prominent Mangekyō Sharingan designs I remember. The middle one is yours."

"…But I don't have one." Obito said weakly.

"And you might never." I said quietly. "But if you do ever see your Sharingan evolve again, this is what you'll see in a mirror." My fingers curled into a fist in the dirt. "It's…probably one of the strongest ones I've ever heard of—it's the only technique that can stop Madara dead aside from Sage powers. But the cost…"

One dead girl. One dead friend. A few souls, nothing major.

I hated Madara, but losing Izuna broke him as sure as losing Hayate would break me.

"I'm not planning on killing anyone for an eyeball upgrade." Obito snapped, startling me. As I sat there, sort of surprised that he knew what the cost was, he went on, "Every Uchiha who makes chūnin has a chance to look at clan historical records. I might not be the best Uchiha ever, but there was no way I wasn't looking up things about my Sharingan even before I got it. I was always worried about falling behind, but the cost of some stuff is just too high."

"No kidding." Kushina murmured, shaking her head.

"Why are you only telling us this now?" Jiraiya asked.

"As of about four or five hours ago, we passed the 'crisis point'." I said, making air quotes with my fingers. "At least that's what I called it. At everyone's blank looks, I explained, "Rin-chan's death leads to a series of disasters in my visions. Since you didn't die there, Rin-chan, my visions' version of events becomes useless." I shrugged. "Basically, if Rin-chan died, Sensei and Kushina-san would be next. Then Jiraiya-sama, then Fukasaku and Kakashi. Only that didn't happen, so damned if I know what Madara's going to do now."

"So, you're saying that in the sequence you saw, Madara was the root of everything." Jiraiya mused. "Is he still alive?"

"He was the last time I saw him." Obito said, indicating his replacement right arm. Jiraiya fixed him with an intense stare that he ignored. "He's the one who gave me this arm and put that seal on me. Unless he had Zetsu do it, which is really the same thing…"

"He'll die sometime in the next thirteen years, if we go by the visions." I frowned. "Though…I don't really know if old age finally got him or if he just gave up. In the other world, he had an apprentice to pick up the slack."

"…God, that Obito you saw must have been an idiot." Obito huffed.

"No more than anyone at the lowest point in their life, I think." I offered.

"No, really. Kei, how lonely do you have to be to go crazy like he did? What happened next?" Obito demanded.

"…It took some time, but eventually the other Obito—who I'll call Tobi, since that was what he called himself—came back to Konoha." I said after a while. "During the night that Kushina-san's son was born."

"…Damn." Obito said, which seemed to be a severe under-reaction going by everyone else's faces. "He really did get Tobi good, didn't he?"

"That might be an understatement." I said. "So, he broke the seal, set the Nine-Tails on Konoha, and started that."

"But if our Obito is here, then that won't happen." Kushina said.

I shrugged. "Probably."

"Then why did you even need to tell us any of this?" Rin asked.

"Because even if the events are off, some stuff stays the same." I looked at Sensei. "Remember that letter the Chinatsugumi gave you, a couple of years ago?"

"…That was you?" Sensei looked stunned. "It outlined more information about Orochimaru's combat abilities than we've gotten in months."

"The Chinatsugumi have a vested interest in not getting killed by him. And for whatever reason, Rikuto-san figured out that I knew things most people didn't…pretty much when I was nine. He confronted me about it just before the Chūnin Exams." Sensei looked like he couldn't decide whether to be retroactively worried or what. "After some other stuff happened, I told him about Orochimaru during the mission to Sorayama seven months ago. His idea was to give the info back to Konoha, since it'd sound more real coming from an adult."

Sensei ran a hand through his hair. "Or an established missing-nin, like Orochimaru."

"What would make a missing-nin from Iwa care about what happens to Konoha?" Jiraiya sounded more curious than outraged—I imagined getting the exact opposite reaction from anyone else in Konoha's upper command division, because fighting the same assholes for years on end tended to foster resentment.

…I wondered if I should be worried that Rikuto's attempt at faking his own death would probably need an encore if Iwa got anywhere near Soragami.

"Recently, Chinatsu-san adopted a little girl. While I know there are probably other girls named Tayuya on the continent, I don't think the others are the right age, with pink hair, and happen to be outside of any shinobi village." I hesitated. "…In my vision, Tayuya is the second most powerful of Orochimaru's child soldiers—she, with her comrades, can take out a team of adult special jōnin at age fourteen."

"So can we." Kakashi pointed out.

"Under the right circumstances, or with a Tailed Beast, yeah." I allowed. "But even aside from that, in the vision, she and her teammates were instrumental to the death of the Third Hokage."

"…Well. I think that's enough for now." Rin said, and all of us blinked at her.

"…Rin-chan?" Obito began, but Rin shook her head and turned to Sensei.

"Didn't we have an appointment with someone very important?" Rin asked.

Jiraiya smacked his forehead with his hand. "Yes, yes we did. All right, kids, up and at 'em. We need to get the Great Toad Sage's input before we all run off and decide to ruin the possible future."

"All futures are possible." Shima argued, "You're just not wise enough to see it yet."

"Wise enough? Jiraiya-chan? Hah!" said Fukasaku. "Maybe in a hundred years!"

"I don't think I'd live that long even if I wasn't due to get killed by one of my own students." Jiraiya griped, but he threw me a reassuring wink before bounding off, both toad elders in tow.

I sat there, rooted to the spot in a sort of stunned silence. I'd done a lot of talking, and it was just hitting me how I could definitely have done that better. But…somehow, the world hadn't ended. No binding seals, no blunt censure… What the hell?

"…Believe it or not, Kei-kun, that wasn't the biggest news I've ever heard." Sensei told me, as he and Kushina also stood up to go. Quickly, all of us kids hurried to follow them. Revelations or not, no one wanted to be stranded in toad country.

"Or maybe you've had so many shocks recently that you've run out of potential heart attacks." Kushina quipped. She grinned, quite gleefully despite the circumstances, and began ticking items off on her fingers, "Becoming next in line for Hokage, losing a student, getting that student back, finding out you're going to be a father…"

Sensei's expression went kind of dopey.

"…I think what they're trying to say is 'roll with the punches,' Kei." Obito said, as the happy couple sort of wandered along in Jiraiya's wake.

"Does anyone else get the impression that there is literally too much crap going on for people to process?" I mused aloud.

Kakashi gave me a look that said, "No shit." But silently.

I opened my mouth to say something else, as Obito punched Kakashi in the shoulder with his normal arm and started a chase between them that felt…relieved, and stopped. Rin put her hand on my shoulder.

"They just need time to think, Kei-chan." Rin said.

"…I sprang this on them at a bad time." I mumbled.

"Well, yes, but we'll recover." Rin poked me. "By the way, are you sure there was nothing about you in the visions?"

"…There was, actually." I said, fighting the urge to sigh. "It was…just not very interesting. I was a civilian with no power or impact on anything, and if I died it was like that." I snapped my fingers for emphasis. "I've been trying to do more, since finding out…" …That I was stuck in a bloody TV show.

"Oh." Rin looked a little disappointed, like she couldn't believe my life was that mundane. Had been, was, wasn't anymore! "Then I'm glad you did decide to come with us. The world without you didn't seem like it was going anywhere good. I'm glad I got to live this one. I like having you as a friend."

"…Thank you, Rin-chan." I said, and waved her on. I could follow in a minute.

Whenever I stopped tearing up.


I could tell when I recovered when I shot Obito's headband at the back of his head and called him out for letting a loan go unpaid for that long. It only took five minutes of walking or so, with Rin at my side.

"I think we're beyond owing stuff, Kei." Obito said, rubbing his head. He did put it back on, though, to keep his rather long hair out of his face. Kind of made him look a little like Sakura when she was serious, though I didn't mention that part. He grinned. "Hey, now me and Kakashi can match!"

"Are you sure you even want to?" Kakashi asked.

"…Eh, not really. Hm, maybe a mask?" Obito rubbed his chin contemplatively, but there was a spark in his eye that put me at ease again.

"You're not helping your case," grumbled Kakashi. Obito elbowed him.

Rin jumped in then, with, "Boys, boys, settle down."

"What about an eyepatch?" I suggested.

Obito balked. "What, and look like a pirate? Who would choose a pirate Hokage?"

"Since Sensei has that job locked up for the next twenty years, I think you'd better start choosing an image now." I mused. "Hm…"

"What about 'Undying'?" All of us looked at Rin. She flushed. "You're alive, aren't you?"

"Yeah." Obito frowned in thought. "Hey, Kei, what did the other me have as a special power?"

"…It's something called Kamui." I said, surprised that he was already willing to mine the other universe for ideas. Especially about something so, well, traumatizing. In context. "It let Tobi look like he was walking right through solid objects—actually, he would shift parts of his body into a shadow dimension only accessible through the eye. The other Kakashi could do the same thing, but only at range and only on offense. Tobi was mostly defensive, and he had to touch someone to use his power on them."

"And this is all based on the Mangekyō he had, right?" Obito asked.

Kakashi's eyebrows knit together. "And both eyes had the same power."

"Yes and yes. Sort of." I hedged.

"Well, in that case I'll make up my own name!" Obito said, cheered.

I blinked.

"For Tobi's power?" Rin asked.

He nodded. "Yeah! If he can be Tobi or whatever, then I can be Phantom Obito!"

"…Huh?" Rin and I exchanged blank looks. Kakashi just stared.

"Well, if he didn't use the obvious nickname, then I should get to." Obito huffed. "He's an asshole anyway."

"He's also you." Kakashi said.

"Yeah, right. And you're the guy who dies of chakra exhaustion." Obito sniped.

In a way, I was almost glad they could make fun of their counterparts' fates. I didn't mind it, really. I mean, the more they distanced themselves from the wreck that was the other reality, then maybe they'd be less likely to follow that path. It would help. It would maybe stop the vision problem I was probably due for, once I got to sleep naturally. I wasn't looking forward to that, but being able to have something concrete to fight them with would be nice.

"I don't think you get to choose your nickname, Obito." I said, "And Kakashi, the other-you's death was way more badass than it sounds."

"Well, if he gets to die in an awesome way, then I get to choose my nickname anyway. But really, chakra exhaustion?" Obito glanced at Kakashi, who glared back.

"Anyone who managed to stall Nagato for more than two minutes counted as a badass." I pointed out. "Even the Nine-Tails host breaking out Sage Mode and manifesting eight of nine tails almost lost."

Kakashi appeared mollified at that, at least. We basked in the warm glow of non-dysfunctional friendship for a while, even though a toad the size of a skyscraper was waiting at the end of our path. Though I guess I was the only one who knew that. At least Sensei and Kushina and Jiraiya would be there.

"Speaking of weird things," I said, breaking the companionable silence, "are you all really okay with this?"

"With what? The fact that you know a future?" Rin asked.

I winced internally. "…I was really going to talk about the whole 'I am carrying a Tailed Beast in my chest' thing, but that works, too."

"Kei, we already know you." Kakashi said flatly. "All I saw when you were using the Three-Tails's chakra was someone hopped up on caffeine and a power high. You're still the same."

"And I guess the vision thing makes sense, you know?" Obito added. "You were always more grown-up…though some of that was the swearing. Is that where you learned it?"

"Uh, yeah. Sorry about that." I rubbed the back of my head. "Though, thanks for the ringing endorsement."

"Don't worry about it." Rin advised. "Minato-sensei should be able to get everything fixed, now that Kushina-san and Jiraiya-sama are here." She paused. "Though I suppose they might have to be reminded. A lot of important things happened."

I sighed. "I doubt they forgot. Let's just get to the Great Toad Sage before they have to come looking for us."

And we were off.


AN: And now, off to meet the big guy! Technically I could have kept going, but this chapter was already over nine thousand words of melodrama getting cut off at the knees and mutual snark, so I decided that was enough for now. It sort of got bigger and bigger the longer I wrote, and as a result I now have this bloated thing that I hope everyone enjoys nonetheless.

Thank you for everything, readers! Over a thousand reviews, followers, and favorite-ers have made this story pretty damn cool to write, and I hope all of you stick around for the next act!