She buried her head in her hands and fought the urge to bury herself in her shields and never come out.

The only thing that kept her going was the distant feeling of Severus's worry through the bond.

At least she knew that one person cared about her.

Even if nobody else did.


Hermione was unaware of what was going on behind the scenes , the plotting of the order and the heads of house as they tried to gather what they could to depose the headmaster of his position. She was focused only on trying to survive her life day to day.

The majority of the school saw her as a villain, a traitor of the worst type.

All of Gryffindor & Hufflepuff were especially vile to her, and shunned her at best , abused her at worst.

The Ravenclaws were smart enough to not blindly trust the papers, but also smart enough to know that approaching her would be tantamount to social suicide.

The Slytherins were no worse than they always had been , apart from 2 that was.

Draco and Gregory, the sons of her family men.

It made her want to weep.

Still, they were not her friends. But they did not mock her , insult her or hurt her.

They were either coolly cordial, or pretended she did not exist , both of which she was thankful for.

Her actions at Azkban had forced the men to form their own opinions , and not just regurgitate the vitriol learned from their fathers. After she'd given her food to Lucius when the others had pissed in his , and after she'd taught the elder Goyle to read and write, it seems it had shook the family men's beliefs deeply. They'd promised to speak to their sons , and it seemed they had.

Though both boys occasionally gave her looks that suggested they would like to approach her more openly , neither could afford to.

Ignoring her could be explained away, befriending her could not.

Wellever the Dark Lord lived, the boys would have to keep their distance.

Though the haunted looks the boys sometimes exchanged with her broke her heart , they were the looks of frightened and friendless children...simply wishing for a friend they could trust. Yet they were living in the serpents den.

The staff did what they could to protect her, but they could not be with her all the time , so still her life was hell.

She would not have made it as long as she did if it was not for Luna.

Sweet, mad, brilliant, Luna.

She would sit beside her at meals as though nothing was wrong , Ignoring the mass exodus of students wherever Hermione was, as though the other students thought she was contagious or at the very least would be condemned through assosciation

The elfin ravenclaw would carry on one sided conversations with the girl who was still too traumatised to talk to anyone but Severus.

Not once did Luna ask her about azkaban or anything to do with it , nor did she try to touch her or do anything else to make her uncomfortable.

It was perfection for Hermione, she didn't care if the girl spoke of Nargles or crumple horned Snorkacks...she was a true friend and it made Hermione ashamed.

So ashamed that one day she tearfully said her only words to the other girl. "I'm s-sorry I called you Loony on the boat"

With a serene smile the girl had answered, "That's alright Hermione, I don't mind"

And off she went carrying on about some thing or another , as Hermione simply thanked all the gods for giving her Luna and promised herself she would never take her friend for granted again.


Every day she broke down in Severus's arms within the hospital walls.

She found her favourite place to be was when they were both standing , and he would wrap her in hug and wrap his robes around her , shielding her from the world.

She would press her face to his chest and listen to his heartbeat and smell the scent of him. It truly was like being held by a great bat. And she loved it.

Each time he held her brought her comfort , though each time it was harder and harder to leave him.

Every time she left him it felt like she was leaving a part of herself behind.

She thought of her grandfather , who still got pains in his foot...after they'd amputated his leg. When Severus was not with her, neither was her heart. But it hurt her anyway.

The beast in her chest whined and howled as the one in his roared and raged. Both distressed at being forced apart , when all they wanted to do was be together.


The first time Severus had been summoned after the daily prophet article , he'd been questioned by Voldemort about his actions and his apparent desire to help her.

The smart man had managed to persuade them all that his actions had been out of fear for the other students surrounding her , fear of what damage she may do the various pure and half blood children surrounding her.

He'd pulled through by the skin of his teeth , but he'd been crucioed to help him remember not to do anything that would make it look like he even remotely favoured the gryffindors or mudbloods.

Then he'd been hexed once more though he wasn't sure what for , as the man was even more insane than Dumbledore.

He didn't need a reason to crucio his followers. If he wanted to , then he did.

Once more , he gained nothing useful for the order from the ramblings of the madman , simply had to watch his brothers that were not incarcerated as they tortured and killed two muggles.

When he'd managed to get back to Hogwarts he dropped his shields and immediately panicked when he could not feel Hermione.

He began running as soon as Poppy's patronus appeared , telling him to come to her as Hermione was in the hospital wing.

He'd arrived to a stupefied Hermione , and before he could berate the mediwitch Minerva had stepped in.

"I stupefied her Severus , she was frantic , she was going to hurt herself trying to get to you "

His protestations died in his mouth as he regarded the witch.

"Were you...did he torture..crucio you tonight?" Followed quickly by "Merlin what have our lives come to if that is a question I have to ask you"

Too pent up with worry and emotion to answer , he simply nodded. His muscles still screamed in agony with the after effects of the curse.

"We thought as much... I don't think she felt it , but she sensed it , your pain...she was so panicked ... I got her here and we got the cuffs off before she hurt herself but she nearly destroyed half the wing , she wanted to apparate, to find you , we had to stupefy her before she hurt herself or someone else ."

Turning to the pale witch on the sofa , he saw the tear tracks down her face and the look of anguish frozen on her expression.

Minerva and Poppy left to give him some privacy and Wordlessly he cast a rennervate.


Her eyes snapped open and she jumped from the sofa , seemingly ready to fight or run , until she saw him .

She took in his trembling sweating form and cried out in dismay as she ran to him and pulled him to her arms.

Each time he went before the Dark Lord , he knew he risked his life.

This was the first time he'd been truly afraid of losing it.

Afraid of not coming back to her.

When her arms wrapped round him , he gave in .

Dropping to his knees in front of her his shields fell completely as he cried out his pain, worry and fear as he pressed his face into her belly., wrapped his arms around her waist and sobbed.

Her magic and mind touched his , as though she was embracing him with both of those as well as her body.

She shushed him and stroked his hair and hummed to him , and never once let go.

When he had cried himself out , she'd gently tugged on him to get him to stand , and he'd done so.

Once standing he didn't take his eyes off her face as she gave him a watery smile and ran her hands softly over his face , his cheeks , his eyes and his lips , as though reassuring herself he was truly there in one piece.

When she had traced all of his features, even his nose, she tucked his hair behind his ears and stood on tiptoes to place a soft kiss on his forehead , the another on his cheeks , one on his nose and finally a soft kiss on his lips that stopped his heart.

When she pulled back she looked deeply into his eyes and he into hers.

Then he leant down and placed a soft kiss on her lips. It was sweet , soft and chaste. It lasted longer than their first but never became rushed or too much.

When he pulled back from the kiss she smiled at him.

There were no words that needed to be said.

Then he'd pulled her into his arms and wrapped his robes around her for the first time.

It had been that first time that cemented in her mind, that this was her favourite place in the world to be.


AN: Please review , and let me know if you're still with me.

Interesting to see some of your guesses on what's happening , but no-ones got it right yet .