"Can all cats gather underneath Highledge for a Clan meeting!" yowled Bramblestar.
The cats ran out of their dens, waiting to hear what their esteemed and polished leader had to say. Bramblestar was silent for a minute, and then looked directly at Cloudtail and screamed, "YOUR CHIN SHALL BE MINE!" and then he jumped off of Highledge and attacked Cloudtail.
"His chin?" wondered Brackenfur. "What's that about?"
"YOUR CHIN SHALL SUFFER GREATLY!" screamed Bramblestar, using his claws to flick Cloudtail's chin.
"NO, YOUR CHIN SHALL SUFFER! IT WILL BE MINE!" Cloudtail screamed, leaping on Bramblestar.
And then they both collapsed onto the ground. Moonfeather was holding a syringe. "Well, both of them have Chinitis. It is a disease that is spread by flicking another's chin. It is a disease that causes you to be obsessed by flicking another's chin and saying things like, "Your chin will be mine", and "your chin will suffer greatly"."
"That's strange." Brackenfur mewed.
"This world is strange." muttered Moonfeather.
"ANNOUNCEMENT!" screamed Wolffur. "I AM GETTING MARRIED TO JAYFEATHER!"
"JAYFEATHER, YOU ARE BREAKING THE WARRIOR CODE!" screamed Hollyleaf.
"So? Leafpool did it, Yellowfang did it, Cinderpelt and Spottedleaf could've done it, so why don't I?" Jayfeather shrugged.
"BECAUSE YOU ARE MY BROTHER, SO YOU CAN'T BREAK THE RULES!" screamed Hollyleaf.
Then Hawkfire appeared. "Oh, can it, you goody-goody. Let there be a wedding!" she clapped her paws and poofed them to a church.
"Hoooo boy." groaned Icepool. She, Shadowheart, and Tei-Tei were in dresses.
And then Shadowheart ripped off her dress to reveal a tuxedo.
The two other she-cats stared at her. "What the..."
"It's better than wearing a dress." Shadowheart growled defensively.
"Well, yeah." Tei-Tei then ripped off her dress to reveal a tuxedo. Icepool followed.
So the bridesmaids were Fernlight, Peppercloud, Moonfeather, and the three tuxedo she-cats. The maid of honor was Hollyleaf, who didn't look very pleased supporting her brother's marriage. The groomsmen were Lionblaze, Crowfeather, Breezepelt, Bramblestar, and Onestar. The flower girls were Orphankit and Whinykit. The ring bearer was Spoiledkit, assisted by ABCkit.
There was normal wedding music. But when the two flower girls came skipping down the aisle, since they didn't feel like using just petals from the flowers, they threw them. And guess what? They were roses.
"OUCHIE!"
"These thorns are digging into my fur!"
"Heehee!" Orphankit squealed.
"You're evil." whined Goodkit.
And then Swedish House Mafia's song "Don't you worry Child" came on and Wolffur came skipping down the aisle.
Purdy arrived and yakked his head off.
Finally, after a month, Jayfeather and Wolffur were married.
"You may now kiss the bride!" Purdy mewed.
They kissed.
"NO!" screamed Ferncloud. "WHERE IS A BUSH WHEN YOU NEED ONE?!"
"You shredded them all!" snapped Dustpelt, covering several of the kits' eyes.
"Oh. Right."
"PARTY!" screamed Discokit.
And then the church transformed into a dance floor.
"BOOGIE!" screamed a cat.
"Who are you?" asked Lionblaze.
"SWIFTWING!" she screamed. "Boogie, boogie!"
"WAHOO!" screamed the cats.
"VA VA VOOM!" the speakers blared.
"OMG IT'S NICKI MINAJ!" screamed the cats.
Ferncloud sobbed. "WHY COULDN'T I HAVE JUST LEFT THE BUSHES ALONE?!"
"Cuz you stink!" Grumpykit mewed.
"HOW DARE YOU!" screamed Fernlight.
"LOOKIT!" screamed Anotherkit. "I HAZ A GIANT BANANA!" he held up a giant banana.
"IT'S A BANANA!" screamed the cats. "ALL HAIL ZE GREAT AND POWERFUL BANANA!"
Lavenderbreeze sighed. "This is ridiculous."
Then an extremely hot cat walked over to Fernlight. "Hi." he mewed, all hot-like. "I brought you a drink."
"I don't want a drink." Fernlight slapped the drink away.
"Why not?"
"I'm not thirsty. Who are you, anyway?"
"That Cat that Keeps Stalking You."
"Well, then..." Fernlight slowly backed away.
Reply to reviews:
Fireflight: I kinda thought of Fernlight as a "Single Lady", unless Fernlight says otherwise. If she doesn't say anything, I'd kinda like to keep her single. What she and Moonfeather do to cats who love them is one of the things that makes this story funny. So... until further notice, she and her sister are off the market.
Fernlight: There are so many Whitestreak Fangirls out there... and what do you say about Fernlight having a mate?
PS. Don't forget to vote if you haven't done so already!
