Okay so I feel that I must say that this chapter has been sandwiched in. I'm hoping that it will feel like it belongs here. The reason is that I wrote this chapter whilst still working on Year 4. I knew I was going to kill Ginny so I wrote that chapter early and then I decided that I needed to do something to try and set Remus back on track and wrote this. Then it didn't fit anywhere when I wrote the year out. So I'm really hoping it is going to work here, because the trial is a turning point for people. And this is the moment when Remus realises that it is time to move on with life. So fingers crossed you'll like this chapter and feel that it works.
Chapter 50
It was late, she knew that it was passed curfew but she didn't care, she couldn't sleep. Opposite her stood the lonely bed which was once home to one of the liveliest people she had ever known.
She heard a loud sound from outside; quietly as possible she crept to the window. Just below sat a lone figure with sandy blonde hair. Cursing the stupidity that was Remus Lupin she grabbed a cloak belonging to somebody in her dorm.
She silently left the tower and headed towards the main door. It seemed that fate was on her side as she was not once stopped by the old caretaker.
Outside she followed the light of the half moon until she neared the tower base. That's where she found the boy she had known for six years, sitting drinking Firewhisky again. They had all noticed he was drinking but nobody had done anything to stop him.
"That's not going to change anything."
He looked up at her before taking another mouthful. She thought he was ignoring her so she opened her mouth to speak again but he cut in
"It helps me forget."
"Remus that's not the way."
She moved closer to him and sat down. Carefully she raised her hand to his cheek, he was frozen.
"Remus you're freezing! Here wear this."
She pulled the cloak off her shoulders and wrapped him up in it. She watched as he looked her up and down and slowly raised his left eyebrow.
"What are you wearing?"
She looked down and noticed for the first time that she was wearing a tiny nightdress. The look on her face caused the boy to laugh as he pulled her onto his lap so they could share body heat and the cloak.
"I miss her Re"
She felt him place his left cheek against her right as he whispered
"Me too"
They sat like that for minutes before Remus spoke again.
"I'm scared I'll forget her"
Turning slightly to face him she noticed the tears in his eyes
"Remus, you'll never forget her, she's with you all the time. She's in your heart and mine and everyone's whose life she touched. She will stay with you forever and remember in death we will all be reunited."
Tears ran down her face as she rubbed Remus' away with her thumb.
"She'd want us to remember her. But Remus she'd want us to continue living and she wouldn't want you to drink yourself into an early grave"
"BUT I WANT TO DIE, I WANT TO BE AWAY FROM THIS MURDEROUS WORLD!!"
"SO DO I…"
Silence followed for moments
"Everyday I pray that I won't wake up. I wish I were dead all the time. But I'm not and I'm lucky in some way. Yes this is a murderous time, but we're isolated. Don't you see we're away from it all; we're all naïve towards death. Well this was our wake up call. We can either sit around drinking and do nothing or we can fight it. Voldemort did this, think how many others he's affected."
Tears ran faster down her face as she paused looking at him. He dropped the bottle, the smash of broken glass echoing in the night air.
"Remus I don't expect you to do anything right now. You loved her and take comfort in knowing she loved you, and that she died knowing how much you loved her."
She stood up to walk away but felt a strong arm pull her back.
"You're right I'm not going to sit around and do nothing, I'm going to fight. I'm going to make this a better place and then … then I'm going to tell Ginny's new nephew all about his brave aunt."
She felt herself pulled closer to the boy, he leaned down and his lips brushed against hers. She pulled back slightly startled but was pulled back by his strong arms around her waist. She relaxed into the kiss; it was comforting knowing the other felt the same. It was a kiss of need, a kiss to comfort the other.
She placed her arm around his shoulder and behind his neck pulling herself closer to him. He deepened the kiss as she opened her mouth to him. The frustration of the last four months left their bodies as their friendship changed. Finally after what felt like a lifetime she pulled away.
Both breathed deeply looking at the other. Neither knew what they should say, both were embarrassed by their actions.
The girl looked up at the boy and in a whispery voice said
"I'd better get back up there before somebody notices I'm gone."
She turned and took a few steps raising her finger to her lips. From behind she heard the words of the lone boy.
"Thank you Amanda"
She smiled slightly as she headed to the dorm, glad that she had gotten through to him but guilty about kissing her best friend's boyfriend, as she was still Ginny's best friend and whether he liked it or not Remus was still Ginny's boyfriend.
Okay to quickly answer one question. Lily was hugging Remus in the last chapter in a comforting sort of way. As for this chapter it was just the realisation that things change. Remus finally understands that this isn't the end for him. He needs to move forward while never forgetting the past. The fact that it was with Amanda was because I was originally going to set up a BIG fight scene later between Remus and Gwydion (who was then going to be Amanda's boyfriend) but that has changed slightly. And it just felt like a tender moment between friends.
Oh and before I forget. I've changed my mind over when the last post will come. I don't think I will have time on Sunday. So I will post late Saturday night (British time). So until then. Enjoy!
Kris xx
